Handle With Care (11 page)

A
fter Brent left, Shane roamed around the empty apartment, anxious and too wound up to sleep. He should have insisted that Brent stay the night. They hadn’t seen each other in a year, and who knew when they would again. If ever.

“You fucking jerk!” he said aloud. “You, of all people, should know better than to go off to war.” He punched his fist into a wall, welcoming the quick shot of pain. Bloody war was enough to make a man crazy. Talking out loud, ranting and raving like a lunatic. He was one of them now. Not mad enough to be locked up, but not right in the head either.

He flung himself onto the couch and flicked on the TV, and then stared at the screen mindlessly. He wanted to talk to someone, but the only person besides Brent that he felt comfortable talking to was Lauren. He couldn’t call her, though. She’d be sound asleep, and even if she weren’t, he didn’t want to chance waking up Josh.

But he sure did want to hear her voice.

She always seemed to know exactly what to say. And the way she looked at him made him feel like a man again. He wanted to be a fully functional guy who could make good love to a woman and watch her face flush, her body tremble with pleasure. Damn war. It had stolen his manhood too. Destroyed his confidence, his pride, his ability to stroke and please a woman.

He curled his one good hand into a fist and hit his thigh hard. The pain felt good. Better than feeling nothing. Then he looked at his prized i-limb. What woman would want to go to bed with a man and a stump? Hell, he didn’t even know if he should keep it on or take it off. Either way, it would be a turn-off, and he didn’t want to see pity or revulsion in another woman’s eyes. Once was enough. The look on Melanie’s face when she’d come to see him at Walter Reed had cut right through him.

Maybe he’d be lucky and his needs would simply go away. He didn’t want a hooker, and the only woman he did want deserved someone worthier than he.

“So how did your date go the other night?” Trish asked Lauren during a lull between patients.

“We had a wonderful dinner, if that’s what you mean.” Lauren didn’t want to discuss Kevin, or her lack of response.

“And after dinner? I hope you at least kissed the poor guy.”

“Of course I did. And there’s no reason to feel sorry for Kevin. Trust me, he can hold his own.”

Margaret giggled. “Maybe he’d rather you hold it for him.”

Lauren shook her head, but couldn’t resist smiling. “You are naughty, you know that?”

She laughed. “Anthony thinks so. He likes it when I talk dirty.”

“Things are going good with you two?” Lauren asked. “What’s it been? A whole week?”

“Funny.” Margaret tossed her head and tilted her chin in the air. “You’re a very funny lady, you know that?”

Trish winked at Margaret. “Forget Anthony for a minute. I still want to hear about Lauren’s kiss.”

“It wasn’t earth shattering, if that’s what you want to know. But he also came over on Sunday and we had the house to ourselves.”

“Whoa! Now we’re getting somewhere,” Trish said, a hopeful expression on her face. “Don’t hold out on us.”

“That’s what he thought too—that he’d get somewhere,” Lauren said. “But I took him to preview an auction at a museum that I’d been anxious to see.”

“Well, you can kiss that one good-bye,” Margaret said, rolling her eyes.

“
Au contraire
. He hasn’t stopped calling me since. ‘When are we going to get together? Can I come over? Need someone to come and tuck you in?’” Lauren made a face. “His persistence is both flattering and annoying. I’m still not sure about him yet.”

“What are you waiting for?” Trish asked. “From what you’ve told us, he’s pretty much perfect, isn’t he?”

“Something is missing. I’m not feeling the passion, you know what I mean?”

“Maybe it’s because you’re tight with Shane.” Margaret sighed, and her cheeks grew pink. “He’s a hard act to follow.”

“You’re not still hung up on him, are you?” Lauren didn’t know why it bothered her, but it did.

“No, of course not. But if he wasn’t lusting after you, it might be different.”

“He’s not. For heaven’s sake, Margaret, I told you that we made an arrangement that benefits us both. There is absolutely nothing going on.” She could feel her cheeks heat up as she spoke. The last thing she wanted was for Margaret, and the rest of the hospital, to know she had a growing attraction for Shane.

“Well then, what’s keeping you out of Kevin’s bed?” Trish asked, hitching her butt on the side of a stretcher.

“I’m just taking my time, making sure this is what I want. When I know, he will too.”

“Don’t take too much time,” Trish said. “Women will line up for the privilege of going out with a wealthy, handsome divorced man.”

“Well, good luck to them.” Lauren pretended to yawn. “We have another date this Saturday, and if it goes well, who knows?”

She’d agreed to see Kevin once more—it would be the final test. The few kisses they’d shared hadn’t lit any fires, but maybe he was holding back too. They both had their kids’ friendships to consider. But this was it. If the chemistry remained dormant on Saturday night, she’d let him down gently.

The ER became active again. It was the usual chaos, but the hospital staff took it in stride. A car accident brought in two; and then a seventeen-year-old kid, higher than a kite, who’d stabbed his sister and then himself. A beaten wife, brought in by her husband, and who refused to file a complaint. She insisted she’d fallen on the sidewalk outside their home. And on and on it went.

Exhausted to the point of feeling giddy, Lauren finally managed a short break. On her way to the cafeteria, she spotted Shane and Rick bringing in a stretcher.

She rushed up to them. “What have you got here?”

“Gunshot wound,” Rick answered.

The young Hispanic man looked to be in his late twenties. His face was purple, and he was breathing in loud, painful gasps. His shirt was stained with blood, and Lauren could see the bullet hole between his sixth and seventh rib.

“The exit wound’s under his armpit,” Shane told her. “Might have nicked his lung.”

Lauren’s tiredness vanished. Within minutes she had a chest tube set up and a scalpel in hand. Her fingers trembled for a second, and she sucked in a deep breath, forcing herself to relax. Once the tube was in, she watched the blood pour from his chest like the red sea.

“We’ve got his pulse and blood pressure,” she announced. “He’ll live. At least for now.”

“Good job, Doctor.” She knew it was Shane who spoke, and she nodded in acknowledgment without looking up.

When the man was stabilized enough to be moved to a room, she pulled him aside. “I was about to grab a coffee when you walked in. Care to join me?”

He nodded and looked around for his partner. “Hey, Rick. I’m gonna grab a coffee with the doc. Call me if something comes up.”

Rick nodded.

“Bad day?” Shane asked her, as they walked down the corridor.

“Yes, but probably no worse than normal. It’s just that it never stops, you know?”

“Come on.” He grinned and shook his head. “You thrive on the activity. I’ve seen you in action a zillion times. It’s like you go into a zone or something.”

“No way. I do not.”

“Do too. It’s kind of sexy.”

She felt her cheeks heat up. “Saving lives isn’t sexy. There is nothing even slightly romantic about it.”

“I’m just saying, you look flushed, excited.” He cocked an eyebrow. “It’s a turn-on.”

“I do not,” she answered hotly. “And the idea is deplorable.”

“You’re cute when you’re angry.”

“Oh, now I’m cute, am I?” She glared at him, her hand on the cafeteria door. He was standing a little too close to her, and she could smell his day’s sweat mixed with his special scent. It had its own appeal.

“Cute and sexy.” He winked and held the door for her to go through.

She had to duck under his arm. “You better take that back. You know how I feel about work.” Her chin went up. “I’m a professional, and that’s all. I have no time or inclination to be anything but.”

“More’s the pity,” he murmured.

She whipped her head around, and found him staring at her butt. “Find anything interesting?”

He had the decency to blush, which made him all the more adorable. “You want some dinner?” she asked. “I’m starving and I’m buying.”

“Now that’s an offer I can’t refuse.” He picked up two trays and handed her one. “Not often I can con a pretty lady into paying for dinner.”

“I doubt that,” she scoffed. “I bet it happens all the time.”

“Not that lucky, I’m afraid.”

“You could be if you wanted to be.” She stepped in front of him and kept her eyes glued on the sign that listed the day’s specials. Every nerve end in her body was keenly aware of his presence. As a doctor she knew the symptoms, but as a woman she guarded against them.

“Is that another offer?” His hand accidentally bumped into hers.

“In your dreams,” she said over her shoulder. Her stomach fluttered and she put a hand over it, hoping to tamp it down. Being around Shane made her jumpy, feeling things she wasn’t meant to feel.

“Oh, yeah. I can dream, and then some.” Shane stood so close to her that she could feel his breath on the back of her neck.

She turned to face him. “What is it you want, Shane? Sometimes you flirt with me, and maybe I’m making a big deal out of nothing since you flirt with everyone, but it’s annoying.”

“Why does it bother you?” Shane gave her a smug smile. “As you say, I flirt with everyone. Besides, I think you like it.”

“I do not. It confuses me, and I don’t like to be confused.” She stared straight into his eyes, not caring who could see them, or if tongues were wagging. This was important. She had to make him understand. “I don’t play games and I prefer to keep everything out in the open. You say you aren’t whole, that you don’t want a woman in your life, yet I get vibes from you. Why?”

“Maybe I’m as confused by all this as much as you.” He took her arm and moved her down the line. “What would you like to eat?” When she didn’t reply, he told the girl behind the counter, “I’ll have the meatloaf with all the trimmings. She will too.”

Lauren looked at him. “I can order my own food.”

“Then why don’t you?”

“Are you always this bossy?” she retorted, wondering why she’d invited him for dinner.

“Are you always this difficult? We’re just having a bite to eat.”

She looked at the embarrassed serving girl, who had one plate ready and was waiting on the other.

“Meatloaf will be fine. Thank you.”

Once their plates were loaded, they headed for a table near the window. “I’m sorry if I seem snarky,” she said. “It’s been a rough day.”

“I should apologize, too. You wanted straight answers and I didn’t give them to you.” He reached across the table to give her hand a gentle squeeze. “Besides, I refuse to argue with a woman who buys dinner.”

She laughed. “You’re quite the charmer, aren’t you?”

“And I think you have a problem with that.”

“Not if it’s genuine. Like I said, I can’t tell with you.” She tried to read his eyes, but they weren’t telling her much.

“You asked me what I want. Truth is … I’m not sure.”

“About what?”

“Us.” He looked away. “I know you probably want to get married again, if for no reason than to provide a dad for Josh. And I think that’s great.” He leaned closer and spoke quietly. “But there’s definitely some sexual attraction going on between us, and I don’t want it to get in the way. You need to find someone stable.”

She toyed with her food, not looking at him. “I do want to have a relationship with someone someday. But Josh is my main focus for now, and I’m not in any great rush. What we have going is fine. Josh gets to spend time with you, and I can help you get what you want.”

“I know. On paper it looks good, but I don’t want you to miss out on something special because I’m hanging around.” He took a mouthful of food, and when he’d swallowed, spoke again. “I think I left my sex drive back there in the desert, along with my hand.”

She laughed. “I doubt that very much.”

“I haven’t been with anyone since—since my return.”

“Wow! Really?” She wasn’t sure how that made her feel. Glad in some ways, but sad too. What kind of a life was that for him? She played with her mashed potatoes, no longer feeling hungry. “Maybe you should. It’s not right for you to miss out on something so fundamental and important to your emotional well-being.” She spoke in her doctor voice. “I know I’m a fine one to preach but you know my reasons.”

He picked up a bun, broke it in half and dipped it into his food. “Don’t worry about my well-being. Take care of yours first. You might feel differently about Kevin if you gave him a chance.”

Lauren felt a sharp little dagger in the pit of her stomach. She understood his reluctance to go to bed with just anyone, because she shared it. But it hurt that he was so eager to push her into the arms of another man just to keep their relationship status quo.

Well, no problem. A man who cared so little was certainly not worth caring about.

L
auren primped for her date with Kevin, and she was not the primping kind. But she’d stopped at the hair salon and had her hair trimmed and styled, and had treated herself to a manicure and pedicure, determined to be at her most seductive best.

She had a gnawing in her belly that wouldn’t go away. She was still rankled that Shane kept trying to toss her into someone else’s bed, but truth be told, he might be right. Once she made love with Kevin, her feelings could change dramatically. And if they didn’t, well, who would it hurt? Kevin might be disappointed, but he’d get over it quick enough.

They were going out for dinner, and the boys were spending the night together again at Kevin’s apartment. Kevin had told Josh and Brad they were going out on a date, even though Lauren had told him repeatedly that she didn’t like the idea. Seeing the hope in Josh’s eyes deepened her concern, but Kevin insisted the kids were fine with it.

Regardless of what their sons did or didn’t know, Lauren had promised herself that this was the night. She only wished she had more enthusiasm for this particular project. And that she wasn’t thinking of it as a “project” in the first place. But never mind. She’d always enjoyed sex, and once they moved past the awkward part, she was sure it would be a pleasing experience.

She hoped.

After reapplying her pale pink lipstick, she turned away from the mirror, knowing her appearance might not stop traffic, but it was as good as it gets.

“Josh, are you ready?” she called to him. “Mr. Henderson should be here any minute, and then we’ll drive you back to his place so you can stay with Brad.”

Josh came out of his room, dragging his backpack. “Do I have to spend the night again?” he whined. “Last time he wanted the room dark and then told ghost stories. He said if I fell asleep, I might get my head chopped off.”

“He said that?” Lauren put her hands on her son’s shoulders and bent down to his height. “That wasn’t very nice and I’ll mention it to his father. He shouldn’t be scaring you, but you know it’s not real, don’t you? There’s no such thing as ghosts. It’s all make believe.”

“Yeah, I guess so. But late, late in the night, I woke up and I’m sure I felt something touch my leg. I got scared and turned on the light but nothing was there.”

“Sweetheart, see? There weren’t any ghosts. It was your imagination working overtime.” She kissed his cheek. “I’ll tell Brad no more ghost stories or you won’t be able to come over again.”

“Don’t tell him that, Mom. He’ll think I’m a wuss.”

“No, he won’t.” She smiled, and touched his upturned nose. “You’re the bravest kid I know.”

“You’re just saying that because you have to.”

“I’m saying it because it’s the truth, and I love you.” They both turned when they heard the knock on the door. “Okay, Superboy, it’s time to roll.”

She opened the door to let Kevin in. “Hey, don’t you look handsome tonight?” He was wearing a sports jacket over a pink shirt, and cream-colored dress pants. He liked nice clothes, and wore them well.

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” he said with a grin. Before she could move away from the door, he leaned in and kissed her cheek. “You two ready to go?”

“We are. Say hello to Mr. Henderson, Josh.”

“Hello, Mr. Henderson.”

“Hello, Josh. Brad is looking forward to the sleepover tonight. He’s got some new movies to watch.”

“Cool.” Josh grabbed his backpack. “I’ve got popcorn and a big bag of Doritos.”

“Sounds like you two kids are going to have fun.” He put a hand on Lauren’s back to guide her out the door. “I’m going to take your mom for a nice dinner, and we might watch a movie too.”

“Mom doesn’t like movies. Only the news and the history and food channel.”

“Well, I’m sure we’ll find something interesting to do.” He gave Lauren a naughty-boy smile and let his hand linger on her back.

She scooted out of his reach and grabbed Josh’s bag. “Do you have my cell phone number with you?” she asked him.

“Sure. I always have it. Otherwise, you worry.”

“Good. Just checking. If you get scared, you can always call me. You know that, right?”

“Why would he get scared?” Kevin asked.

She put a hand on Josh’s shoulder. “Brad was teasing him on their last sleepover. Told ghost stories, and said if he fell asleep, they’d come in and cut off his head.”

“He said that?” Kevin laughed and shook his head. “What a little rascal.”

“Can you ask him not to do it again?” She folded her arms, and tried not to scowl. “Josh spent half the night awake, looking for monsters.”

“Okay, okay.” He slid up beside her and whispered, “You might want to toughen him up a bit. You know how kids are.”

She stiffened. “There is nothing wrong with how I’m raising my son.”

“Of course not.” Kevin smiled to soften his words. “I know you’re trying to be Supermom and make up for the fact he doesn’t have a dad, that’s all.”

“I think he’s tough enough for a six-year-old.”

“You’re right. I apologize. I shouldn’t have said that.” Kevin flashed a smile.

“Kevin.” She looked him in the eye. “Maybe this dinner isn’t such a good idea.”

“Come on, Lauren. I didn’t mean to offend you.” He had the car door open, and Josh was already strapped into the backseat. “I promise not to spoil the evening by saying another word. Except that you look gorgeous tonight. Pretty dress, and what did you do to your hair?”

She licked her bottom lip, giving herself time to answer. There was no point in making a scene, but if he dared to judge her son again, it would be the last time.

They dined at the new Queensview Steakhouse on the second floor of Parker’s Lighthouse, enjoying a pleasant conversation along with the good food. Kevin was perfectly charming, and once again Lauren was put at ease. He was intelligent, knowledgeable, and attractive. She would see how the night progressed before making any decisions about him. But at the moment things were looking up.

The wine had mellowed her, and she leaned against his side as they walked back to his car. He gave her warm glances as he drove, and once or twice his hand touched her thigh.

They had so much in common, they liked and respected each other, and they both deserved some romance. If it led to love and a lifetime commitment, all the better. But she refused to think that far ahead. Tonight, if all went well, they would simply make love.