Hanging On 2: Surreal Neal [Awakenings 6] (Siren Publishing Menage and More) (25 page)

“I practice with my brother,” she said. “He doesn’t go easy on me because I’m a girl. Do you have more moves than that? Because I certainly do.”

As the surprise of what she’d done wore off, my anger returned. “Get off me.”

“I will, but you have to promise you’ll stay and talk.”

“I have nothing to say.” That was the truth. The first thing manipulative people did was to get close to their victim, weasel through their defenses.

“I have questions, and I want answers.”

“Fine,” I grunted. My return ticket was still hidden in my luggage. I had checked it before coming out here to see what they were up to. Having an escape at my fingertips made a difference.

She eased away, and Drew helped me to my feet. His icy blue eyes penetrated the haze surrounding me, and I realized that I’d mistaken his calm demeanor for complacency. He was pissed, but he’d trusted Sophia to take care of the situation. I couldn’t imagine trusting somebody that much.

“While I know Sophia is perfectly capable of taking care of herself, seeing somebody put his hands on her makes me very angry. Never put your hands on her again.” He shoved at my shoulders, pushing me back down into the chair I’d recently vacated. “That’s twice that she’s had to subdue you. It’s in your best interest to talk with us about what the hell is going on with you.”

Sophia sat on one side of me, scooting her chair closer, but not close enough to make me feel closed in. Drew remained in his position on my other side.

She folded her hands on the table in front of her. “Neal, did you really have subdrop this morning, or is something else going on?”

Subdrop messed with my head, but so had Master Geordie. I wasn’t sure which parts were due to coming off that natural high and which parts were due to my life experiences. It wasn’t so easy to separate those things in my head. I pressed my lips together as I thought, but it didn’t help me arrive at any conclusions. “I don’t know.”

The stare she leveled at me never wavered. She was going to wait until I threw her something she felt she could work with.

Exasperation drove me to comply. “It was a little bit of subdrop. I sometimes get a headache later, or I get restless.”

“Or irrational?” Drew scowled at me. Of the pair, he had less patience with the conversation, and he wasn’t bothering to hide it.

Well I had news for him. Out of the three of us, I had the least patience for this conversation. I shrugged off his question. “You want an apology?”

“No,” Sophia said, though a glance at Drew showed that he probably did want one. “I want the truth. Why are you so angry? Nothing has changed. If you hadn’t overheard Drew and me talking, then you wouldn’t know anything about the fact that we want a deeper relationship with you. We had no plans to spring it on you, and we definitely don’t want to move faster than all three of us are comfortable moving.”

She’d thrown me the meat, now all I had to do was make a sandwich. “It’s just that you’re married. You have this long-standing relationship, a past, a history, you’re planning to spend the rest of your lives together. There’s no room for a third party, and I don’t want to be some afterthought or long-term sex toy or worse.”

Shit. I’d said more than I had intended.

Sophia winced. She looked a little like I had pushed her. Drew’s frown spoke volumes. I just didn’t know what it said.

“You’re not an afterthought,” he said. “Maybe when Sophie and I got married, we didn’t plan to bring someone else into this, but life is constantly changing the recipe on you. I won’t pretend to have the answers or the ability to predict the future. Right now, we know that we like you a lot, and we want you to be a bigger part of our lives.”

I felt a gentle touch on my wrist, and I looked down to see Sophia’s fingers resting there. Not grasping or holding, just resting, offering strength and reassurance.

“Thinking you’re a threat to our marriage, which you aren’t, isn’t your real problem. It’s nice that you’re concerned, but there’s something else going on, Neal. You’re angry for another reason.”

I liked the way she said my name. The word rolled from her tongue, a caress and a warning wrapped in a dulcet package. “Yeah,” I agreed. “Coming on this trip was a mistake. I wanted to work for Drew and learn his style of cooking. I wanted to submit to you and Drew. I wanted to have scenes and go home afterward to the solitude of my own home. I don’t want an emotional entanglement. When I’ve learned what I can and I leave here, I want to leave with fond memories and no regrets.”

“No emotional entanglements,” Drew said, echoing my statement. “That’s one of the saddest things I’ve ever heard. Emotional entanglements are what makes life worth living. It’s the salt and pepper, ginger and cinnamon. It’s flavor and color, texture and sound. Without it, you have nothing.”

His eyes met Sophia’s, and they shared a moment of silent connection. The air was heavy with the weight of what was passing between them.

I understood his sentiment, but I didn’t share it. “I prefer my life on an even keel, the appropriate ingredients measured out and the spices used sparingly.” I was sleeping with a married couple. He couldn’t argue that I’d left out the seasoning completely.

The storm in his eyes grew fervent. “You leave no room for surprise or discovery.”

“That’s how I like it.”

“That’s boring, not at all how I cook.”

I ground my teeth together. “It works for you, not for me. Newsflash: I’m not you. I don’t want to be you.”

Sophia held up her hand. “Enough, you two. While I love metaphors as much as the next person, I’m genuinely afraid you’re going to change the subject and start debating spanakopita recipes. I’m hearing Neal say that he likes things the way they are. Drew, honey, we have to respect that. Neal, you can stop freaking out and getting mad because you think we’re going to ask more than you want to give, and you don’t have to pretend to think about dating us. It’s clear that’s not what you want right now.”

She looked sad, like the words hurt to say, but I was relieved that she’d weaseled out of me what I wanted even though I had initially been less than forthcoming.

“Thank you,” I said. “I’d still like to sleep in the spare bedroom.”

She couldn’t argue with that, but I could tell she wanted to.

* * * *

The next morning, I got up at the crack of dawn. In reality, I’d barely slept at all. Though I had insisted on being alone, I found myself lonely. More than that, I was plagued by demons—guilt, anxiety, and sorrow. I knew I’d leapt on both of them unprovoked. I hadn’t wanted to talk about what was bothering me.

Truthfully, I did want to date them. I wanted it very badly. Wanting it scared the crap out of me. The last time I’d felt this strongly about anybody, I’d found myself alone and destitute, with too much pride to call my parents and ask for money. I would have died in Rio before I returned a broken loser. While I wasn’t quite broken, I was dented and cracked, used and damaged goods.

I didn’t want to stay in the suite and wait for Drew and Sophia to get up. In a turn of cowardice, I didn’t particularly relish seeing either of them. I knew I’d hurt them both. While I’d hated doing it, they’d left me with no choice. I couldn’t expose myself again.

After scrawling a hasty note, I went windsurfing. Drew and I had watched for a little while yesterday morning, but neither of us had wanted to get out on the water. He’d merely checked out the equipment and talked to the proprietor of the excursion.

I’d teased him about not wanting to mess up his hair. He’d given me a curious look, and that’s when I noticed that he’d foregone any kind of product. The breeze had ruffled his straight blond hair, making him look ten times sexier. I’d run my hand through the softness and told him how much I liked it. He’d preened under the praise.

I charged the board and equipment to the room.

After a short lesson, I went out on my own. I’d windsurfed before, though it had been a couple of years since I’d been out on the ocean. The skill came back quickly. I liked the warm, salty breeze whipping through my hair and the splashes of water that soaked my clothes and stung my eyes.

I stayed out there until wind carried away my worries and the sun blazed high in the sky. Then I returned my rented board and walked along the beach. More people were out today, and the sandy strip was littered with their bodies. Some were nude. Many tried to make eye-contact with me. Without the collar Sophia had given me, I found myself becoming a person of interest, and I didn’t care for that. Five propositions later, I decided I needed to go somewhere else.

Though I dreaded going back—mostly because I didn’t want to face Sophia and Drew after the way I’d overreacted last night—I went. Eventually I would have to see them. If this all fell apart, Drew was still my boss, and Sophia was still my boss’s wife.

The building housing our suite was situated about a five-minute walk from the beach. It was part of a cluster of buildings that featured a freshwater pool and lounge chairs in a central square. As I picked my way through the maze of chairs, many of which were occupied, I heard someone call my name.

I looked to find a familiar face, one I hadn’t seen in three years. I couldn’t recall his name, but he was around my age. He wasn’t someone I’d known very well, but I remembered how I knew him.

“Neal? I thought that was you.” He peeled himself from his chair and came toward me. His light brown skin gleamed in the sun. Sans sunglasses, he squinted up at me, the hard look of the streets in his eyes. “Yeah. I saw you yesterday with a couple. You here with them?”

Jaxon. He went by Jaxon. I doubted it was his real name, but it was the only one I knew. I slapped palms with him, gripping hands in a show of camaraderie. “Jax. What are you doing here?”

He shrugged. “Some Daddy wants to pay for me to come here? Whatever. It’s a change of scenery.”

I didn’t want to tell him about Sophia and Drew because I knew he already thought I was here as a paid companion. “That’s great. I’m not into that scene anymore. I’m cooking full-time. This is just a vacation with friends.”

His entire demeanor shifted. He lost the hard glint, and his entire posture softened. “Me neither. I’m here with a Daddy, but he’s mine, ya know? He’s good to me. He got me off the streets, told me I was worth more than I’d ever get selling myself. It’s, you know, a relationship.”

We talked for a few more minutes before his lover called to him from the pool. The older man eyed me suspiciously, probably thinking I was trying to hit on his much younger piece of ass. I slapped palms with Jax again and waved at the old man. Jax slipped into the water and wrapped his body around his lover. The smile on his face was genuine, and that’s not an expression I ever saw on Jaxon’s face before. Perhaps that’s why I hadn’t immediately recalled him. That look was transformative.

I wondered what Sophia and Drew saw when they looked at me?

I entered the suite quietly. From the door to the larger bedroom, I heard Sophie calling to Drew. “Honey, hurry up. You look fine, and I’m hungry.”

Though it could have been a suggestive line, it wasn’t. Her direction was laced with impatience.

She came out of the bedroom wearing a strapless sundress that hugged her curves. It had some kind of red floral print. I liked her in red. It looked good against her olive skin and dark hair.

She stopped short when she saw me. A tentative smile curved her lips. “Neal. You’re back. Have you eaten? We were just about to head to the restaurant for lunch.”

I wanted to kiss away the uncertainty. Instead, I shook my head. “I grabbed a bagel for breakfast, but that’s all.”

She looked me up and down, her eyes traveling with sinful indolence. “Go jump in the shower. You have ten minutes. Drew should be ready by then. Wear shorts, no shirt.”

“Yes, Mistress.”

Tension left her body at my use of her title. It looked like nothing had changed, just as they assured me would happen. Ten minutes later, I joined Mistress and Chef on the balcony. They both took a few moments to study me. I’d dressed in a pair of red jockey shorts that matched Mistress’s dress, and though she hadn’t mentioned it, I’d put the collar back on.

Chef was the first to move. He crossed the short porch and locked his lips on mine, taking me prisoner with a dizzying and possessive kiss. When he ended it, we were both breathing hard. He grabbed the hair just above my nape and pulled until I looked into his eyes.

“Thanks for leaving a note. We would have worried otherwise.”

From the expression on Sophia’s face, I think they had worried anyway, and that made me feel like shit again. She linked her arm through mine and steered me toward the door. “Let’s eat, gentlemen, and then we’ll play.”

The meal turned out to be huge—we were all famished—so we went for a walk afterward. We ended up in the playhouse. The curved staircases leading to a verandah actually contained people, as did some of the lounge chairs on the uncovered porch.

“Looks like more people got here,” I said.

Sophia nodded. “Sunday and Monday are the slower days. We’ll have to price the rooms a little less expensively for those nights. Still, the resort will only max out at about forty percent capacity, and this is the season when things are supposed to pick up. They’re not.”