Hanging On 2: Surreal Neal [Awakenings 6] (Siren Publishing Menage and More) (30 page)

Drew came back and assessed the situation with a keen eye. “How about some dinner? I put away a plate for you. I’ll warm it up.”

Neal’s hand dropped away from my mouth, but not before I’d kissed his palm. I might not be allowed to say it, but I could show him my feelings.

I looked over at Drew, but my gaze landed on the untouched pie on the counter. My brother had snagged the other one and smuggled it out without me seeing. To be fair, my attention had been elsewhere, and I grudgingly admitted that it belonged to him.

“At least he didn’t take both of them,” I muttered. “Let’s start with pie. My mother makes the best pie in the world.”

Drew grinned. “Don’t let Ginny hear you say that. She’s very competitive.”

“Says the man who’s trying to get her to make pies on his show,” I scoffed.

“It would make a great Thanksgiving special. I could have your mom and mine, both of them talking about traditions and family.” He worked as he talked, heating Neal’s dinner and cutting three generous portions of pie. “And Ginny would be fine with it because she gets a cut of the profits.”

“What kind is it?” I asked. My mom hadn’t let us near them, which was the only reason there was any left. We usually started with dessert. She was trying to change our habits, weed out our love of desserts, but her efforts were destined for failure. Danny and I weren’t the only ones who would mount a rebellion. I’m pretty sure Zach was firmly on our side.

Drew set the pieces down on the table. We still had a good amount of cleanup to accomplish, but that could wait until after pie.

“Apple cinnamon,” he said. “It’s cool. If you want it heated up, you’re going to have to do it yourself.”

My mom’s pie was good at any temperature. I sat down with my piece and dug in. Neal slid in next to me and moaned in orgasmic bliss as he savored his first bite.

“Sophie,” Drew said as he set down a plate of food in front of Neal, “did you know that Alaina was in an accident?”

That had been news to me. Though we’d been on vacation, that was the kind of thing I expected to get a phone call about. “No. My parents looked surprised too.”

The corners of his mouth turned down. “I wonder why nobody said anything.”

“Maybe they didn’t want people making a fuss over Alaina. She looked exhausted, and you know how my mom gets when she thinks somebody needs her loving care. Lainie has all she can handle with Danny and Evan.”

Drew slid into the seat opposite me, which put Neal, who was at the end of the table, between us. “They did say she was fine. Still, it was odd for them not to say anything. I mean, your brother texts you pictures of squashed bugs and videos of snakes giving birth. You’d think he’d slip something significant in there somewhere.”

Danny texted me pictures of grosser things than that, but I didn’t often share those with Drew. From the time we were little, we’d engaged in a rivalry where we each tried to out-yuck the other. It was fun, but it was our quirk.

“I’m meeting him tomorrow, so I’ll beat it out of him then.”

Neal had been following our conversation while eating. We hadn’t expected him to participate, not the way he was inhaling his dinner. He hadn’t reacted much to anything, not that I expected him to—he didn’t know my family yet. Now his brow furrowed. “You’re going to beat your brother?”

“Maybe,” I said. “Unless he’s distracted, he usually wins.”

Drew pointed his fork at me. “Not easily. You definitely make him work for it.” He beamed proudly.

“My brother owns a martial arts studio,” I explained to Neal. “We both learned martial arts from our grandfather, but Danny took his training a lot further than I took mine.” I put my hand over his lightly. “I devoted my attention to learning other skills, like how to use a flogger.”

“You’re very good at it,” he said. He removed his hand from under mine. His plate was empty. He set his fork down.

My attempt to squelch the pang caused by his rejection was unsuccessful. “Neal, I wish you would talk about what’s bothering you.”

“You kissed me with a houseful of your family nearby.”

I opened my mouth to apologize again, but he wasn’t finished.

“You kissed me, and I let you.”

Jesus! Was this what I made Drew feel like all those times I’d broken up with him? Regret burned in me for two reasons now.

“And I liked it. All you have to do is look at me, purr at me in your Domme voice, and all of my reservations vanish. I submit to you way too easily. For so long, I’ve avoided situations that required true submission. When I first hooked up with you two, I figured I’d fake it and have fun, but that’s not what happened.”

His voice came out strong, and his soothing cadence washed over me. Pain simmered just under his surface. I wanted to hold him until it was gone, but I knew that he needed space right now.

“And you.” He turned to Drew. “You weren’t even pretending to be a Dom. You just did it, and you did it well. It never occurred to me to fight it, and that scares the hell out of me. After being with Master Geordie, I swore that I’d never give anybody power over me like that again. I promised myself, and here I am, doing it again.” He shook his head. “And not with one dominant, but two.”

My heart, bruised and battered, went out to him. “Oh, Neal. I know what it’s like to be betrayed by someone you love. You want to curl up and hide. You build a wall around your heart and you don’t let anybody inside. Breaking it down is terrifying. I know. I’ve been there.”

He shook his head. “You can’t possibly understand.”

I looked to Drew for support. I’d told this story before in group therapy as a way to help other women who had been in my shoes, and it never got easier. Drew reached across the table and took my hand.

“When I was nineteen, I was raped by my boyfriend. I’d known him since I was seven years old. He was a close friend of my brother. I trusted him. I loved him, and he raped me. When Drew met me, I was hard and cold. I had no intention of falling for him, but he was patient. I gave him every reason to head for the hills, and he refused to give up on me.”

Something cracked in his eyes, and I wondered what Geordie had done to Neal. I felt anger, rage at this man. I was furious that I couldn’t track him down, tie him to a rack, make him feel naked and vulnerable, and then abandon him.

Drew took Neal’s other hand, holding us both, trying to absorb the remembered pain. “Neal, I don’t know what you’re going through, but that won’t stop me from being here for you. I know it’s hard to believe, but you can trust us. We don’t expect you to take our word for it, though. If you let us, we’ll prove it to you.”

Neal nodded. It was barely there, almost imperceptible. In a quiet voice, he said, “When we were on Elysium, why didn’t you get mad at me for leaving all those mornings?”

I swallowed. I hadn’t been mad. “You needed space. You asked for it, and we gave it to you. I want you to be happy, Neal. That’s important to me.”

“You’re allowed to do what you want to do,” Drew said. “It’s a relationship. We want that with you.”

Neal considered our assurances. “I’ve only ever been truly happy as a submissive. It’s also what’s made me the most miserable.” Neal lifted his gaze, capturing first Drew’s and then mine. “I want to submit to you. I want to be yours.”

All the aches in my heart healed. I couldn’t stop the huge smile that plastered itself on my face. “We want that too, but not at the price of your happiness. Communication is important. Don’t be afraid to let us know what you’re feeling.”

Drew rose. “When I come back, I want to see you kneeling at your Mistress’s feet.”

I had an idea where Drew was going, and I approved.

Neal slid from his chair and crawled until he was next to me. When he was closer, I guided his head to my lap, and he snuggled against my leg. I ran my hands through his silky hair, down his neck, and over his shoulders. Something about having a strong man at my feet made me feel even more feminine.

He hadn’t declared his love, but he was willing to give me his devotion and affection. It would do for now. Experience had taught me that emotional scars don’t heal all that quickly.

“In my dungeon, I have chains in the ceiling. I’m going to string you up, stretch out your body so that every nerve ending is awake, alive, anticipating what I’ll do next. I’m going to blindfold you, but I’m not going to use a gag. I’m going to make you gasp and moan, beg and lose control.” I whispered these promises to him. With every word, he grew simultaneously relaxed and more tense.

Stroking the indented line at the top of his spine, I continued with my verbal caress. “Everything I do to you will be slow and gentle, whether I’m giving you pleasure or pain.”

On my leg, he shuddered.

“Are you getting hard yet?”

“Already there, Mistress. Kneeling at your feet, feeling your touch, and hearing your voice is enough.”

I felt rather than heard Drew’s return. He stood behind Neal with a collar in his hands. It was the same one he’d taken off on Elysium. Though his rejection of that symbol had hurt, I hadn’t made an issue of it. The collar only had meaning if he wanted to wear it.

Gently, I cupped his cheeks and guided his face so that he could see me. “Neal, we’d like to put our collar on you, this time it’s symbolic of our relationship, not a vacation accessory. We’re not asking for a formal ceremony or for that level of commitment, but we’d like something more permanent and meaningful than a fling.”

Drew stood behind me. He reached out and stroked Neal’s lower lip. “Putting this on means that none of us are seeing other people. Sophie and I aren’t interested in spending time with other submissives, and we hope having a Mistress and a Master is enough for you.”

Neal stared at the collar, longing and trepidation warring behind his eyes.

I wanted to reassure him, but his conflict wasn’t something I could solve. “We only want you to wear it when we’re here together. When we’re not in a scene or if you’re not feeling like you want to be submissive, then you’ll take it off.”

That seemed to help him fight off his reluctance to take the next step.

“If I say no, then what?”

I stroked the hair at his temples, smoothing it away from his face. “Then I hope you won’t leave. Drew and I want you whether or not you feel ready to commit or take things to the next level.”

He sat up tall and let his hands drop to his thighs. “I want it.”

Drew handed it to me and let me do the honors. I buckled the leather collar around his neck. We had purchased it for Neal, and I liked the way it lent him a bad-boy kind of look. If he ever consented to taking things to a more permanent level, perhaps to moving in with us, I wanted to get him something more formal.

I glanced up at Drew, and I could tell by the expression on his face that he wanted something more ceremonial. So did I, but I knew that if we made a huge deal out of it, Neal might give into his fears.

“Stand up, Neal.” This needed to be sealed with a kiss.

He rose to his feet in one lithe motion. Drew placed one hand on the back of Neal’s neck and slung the other around his waist, and he pulled him in for a kiss. He plunged his tongue into Neal’s mouth, mastering him. Neal made a sound of helpless pleasure and grasped at Drew’s shirt.

Drew abruptly tore himself away and spun Neal to face me. Neal leaned down, and I took him prisoner with my kiss. He made more of those little moans in the back of his throat. I was aware of him bending his knees so that his height was even with mine, and then he wrapped his arms around me and lifted me from the floor.

When I broke the heady kiss, Neal set me down. “Mistress, thank you for this collar.” Then he turned to Drew. “Chef, thank you for this collar. Or would you prefer if I called you ‘Master’?”

Drew scratched his cheek as he considered. “I think I prefer ‘Chef.’ It’s one nobody else uses.”

I thought it was a wise decision. We didn’t want to give Neal any reason to think of the man who had abandoned him in a foreign country.

“Neal, let’s get you into the dungeon.”

“And naked,” Drew added. “It’s a crime to cover up that much sexiness.”

I reached around and grabbed a handful of Drew’s ass. “Then you’d better get naked too.”

He put his arm around my waist and steered us toward the stairs. “After you, hot stuff.”

In the dungeon, Neal stripped down until he wore only his collar. Drew and I worked together to buckle leather cuffs on his wrists and attach them to the chains. We didn’t move as if we’d practiced this a hundred times because we hadn’t. Drew rarely helped me tie up a submissive, and when he did, he merely followed my instructions.

For the first time, I was sharing the dominant spot in the bedroom.

With Neal stretched out and forced to rise off his heels, I gave myself time to just look at him. The position emphasized dips and planes of the muscles cording his body. I reached out and ran my fingertip up the long muscle in his thigh.

“Drew, can you get a blindfold?”

He selected one that was technically a high-quality sleep mask. They fit snugly, contouring to his nose so that he couldn’t peek.

Drew and I stepped back and gazed upon what was now ours. He put his arms around me and kissed me hard on the lips. “This feels right, Sophie.”