Hannah's Journey (18 page)

“To what?”

“To my faith, my family and with God’s blessing—to you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s simple, really. I…” The doorbell jangled and together he and Hannah snapped, “We’re closed.”

“Well, I know that,” Pleasant said and then she saw Levi and her mouth fell open.

“’Tis I,” he said with a nervous laugh and a slight bow.

Pleasant considered him for a long moment. “I know that you are not a cruel man, Levi, and therefore I must assume that you have not come costumed like this to make fun of our ways.”

“It is no costume,” Levi said. “These are my clothes, made for me by my sister-in-law, Mae.”

“And your fine suits?”

“Gone.”

“And your private rail car?”

“Under new ownership.”

“And the circus?”

“It all belongs to Jake now.”

Pleasant studied him carefully while Hannah forced herself to breathe.

“And what about your mansion here on the bay?”

“I have donated that to the state as well as my other land holdings here, with the exception of one small parcel that I have kept for myself and another that I gave to Hans.”

And after quizzing him, Pleasant came away with the same conclusion Hannah had voiced earlier. “I don’t understand.”

“Would it be presumptuous of me to ask myself to supper where I can explain everything?”

“Yes, it would be presumptuous,” Pleasant said, “but you’ll do as you please. You always have.”

“That is the past,” Levi said. “Hannah?”

“I will set another place,” she said.

Levi smiled at them as if they had just handed him
the moon and stars. He replaced his hat and moved to the door.
“Danke,”
he said and there could be no doubt that relief colored the breath he released as he opened the door and stepped outside.

F
or the rest of the afternoon, Hannah pondered this strange turn of events. While she scrubbed the bakery floor, Pleasant prattled on about Levi’s changed appearance and short answers to her questions.

“Why would he abandon everything he’s worked his entire life to build?” she asked repeatedly.

“Perhaps it was because he wanted to reunite with his family,” Hannah guessed.

“He already has a relationship with Matthew and Mae,” Pleasant argued.

“But not his sisters.”

“But they all live in Iowa or Wisconsin. What’s he doing here in Florida?”

Hannah saw the light then. He had come to take care of his business holdings—the mansion and other properties he owned. He had come to put all of that to rest. But he had mentioned keeping one plot of land for himself and another for Hans. Amish men were not given to establishing second homes the way some in the outside world did.

“I should go,” she said, putting away the ledger and
files she had been working on. “Someone needs to tell Gunther that we will have a guest.”

Gunther Goodloe was sitting at the kitchen table playing a game of dominoes with Caleb when Hannah entered the small house.

“Levi has come back,” she said without preamble. On the walk from the bakery to the house she had practiced half a dozen ways of delivering this news, but in the end she had stated it plain and Gunther simply nodded.

“
Ja.
He was here.” He placed his final tile, winning the game. “Time for chores, Caleb,” he said.

“Levi looked plain,” Caleb said as he put away the dominoes and picked up his hat. “Do you think that means that…”

“I don’t know what it means,” Hannah replied. “Now go.”

She put on her apron and began assembling the evening meal.

“He’s come back for you,” Gunther said softly.

“He said that?”

“Didn’t need to. Why else would a man like that change his entire life?”

“Then he has made a mistake,” she said as she set the table, counting the places as if the addition of one were monumental.

“You do not care for him?”

“I…” She had almost said that she loved Levi but then she had realized she was talking to Gunther—her late husband’s father.

“My son has been dead many years, Hannah. His memory lives on in Caleb. You are still young—young enough to start a new family. If Levi is the one…”

“He cannot think that it is enough to simply change his clothes and grow his hair to cover his ears,” she said, rubbing her palms over her apron. “Anyone can dress up on the outside. It is what is here that counts.” She patted her heart.

“He…”

“Besides,” she continued more to herself than to Gunther, “he ran away from his family and his faith.” Everyone knew that in the Amish faith, choosing the outside world over the faith and community of one’s birth could not be forgiven.

Gunther pushed himself to his feet. “Do not be too hard on him, Hannah. There may be more to his change than you know.” He said no more as he walked slowly down the hall to his bedroom.

Supper was a quiet affair. Caleb and Gunther generated what limited conversation there was, while the women—Hannah, Pleasant and Pleasant’s half sisters, Lydia and Greta, remained silent.

“How is Lars?” Caleb asked.

“He has grown another two inches,” Levi reported. “He’s taller than his mother now.”

“I’m almost as tall as Ma,” Caleb said, grinning at Hannah. “And taller than Lydia or Greta.”

Gunther asked after the men he had worked with in the horse tent and after Levi assured him that they missed his help and expertise with the horses, silence fell over the table. Even Caleb seemed at a loss for words. Hannah felt as if every bite she took clogged her throat, leaving her unable to speak at all. She had made sure that Levi was not sitting next to her for the very idea of his taking her hand during grace was more than she thought she could bear.

Instead, she had taken her place at the far end of the table next to Pleasant and across from Caleb. But that position had its problems as well for she could watch him—watch him watching her.

Finally, Gunther signaled the end of the meal with a loud belch—a compliment to Hannah for another good meal.

“Ma,” Caleb said, his voice cracking. “I was wondering. Some boys from town are playing baseball this evening with our guys—just until dark and…”

“Have you done all your chores?” Hannah asked, relieved to be able to concentrate on something other than the overwhelming presence of Levi.

Caleb nodded, then ducked his head a moment. “Could I take the buggy?”

Hannah’s emotions warred between knowing her son was growing up and needed some independence and the fact that once the game ended it would be dark and Gunther’s buggy had only two dim side lanterns.

“I wouldn’t mind watching the game,” Levi said. “Perhaps your mother and I could come with you.”

Caleb’s eyes pleaded with Hannah to agree to this plan.

“All right,” she said. “As soon as the dishes are finished.”

“I can do the dishes,” Pleasant’s half sister Lydia volunteered. It had been clear from the moment she’d heard that Levi had returned that every romantic ideal she’d ever entertained had fully blossomed.

“Can I come to the game, too?” Greta asked. Greta found the games and activities—even the chores—usually assigned to boys far more interesting than
those activities reserved for girls. “I can catch,” she announced.

Levi chuckled while Caleb made a face.

“Yes,” Hannah decided. “You can come as well, Greta.” She couldn’t help but take some small pleasure in the look that Caleb and Levi exchanged. Taking Greta along had clearly not been in either one’s mind.

The baseball field was a makeshift affair on the edge of the celery fields. Several boys from Sarasota had already gathered and were tossing a ball around from player to player. Another smaller cluster of Amish boys stood on the sidelines talking and knocking sand off their shoes with handmade bats.

Caleb was out of the buggy and off to join his friends almost before the horse had come to a full stop. Levi helped Greta and then Hannah out and together they walked over to the edge of the playing field. Hannah saw several of the boys talking to Caleb and looking their way. After a while, Caleb broke away from the group and started toward them.

“We’re a player short,” he said to Levi without really looking at him. “The others were thinking maybe you might…”

“Sure,” Levi said. “What position?”

“First base?”

“Okay,” Levi agreed. “You ladies will be all right?” he asked.

Hannah nodded as Caleb and Levi trotted off toward the other players.

“He’s cute,” Greta said.

“Handsome,” Hannah corrected her without thinking. “A man of Mr. Harmon’s age…”

Greta looked up at her and laughed. “I didn’t mean
Mr. Harmon. I meant Caleb.” The girl considered Levi for a moment. “I suppose for someone that old, Mr. Harmon is nice-looking. Better than some, anyway,” she said. Then she studied Hannah for a long moment. “You two would make a good match.”

“Really? I didn’t know that you had decided to serve as the community matchmaker,” Hannah teased. Anything to turn Greta’s interest to some other topic. “I thought you planned on raising horses.”

“Well, just until I marry Joshua Troyer,” she announced with such certainty that Hannah thought it just might come true.

Hannah sat on the grass and Greta did the same, each of them pulling their skirts down to cover the tops of their shoes and wrapping their arms around their knees as they watched the game in progress.

“And once Joshua and I marry, then our children will help out as well,” Greta continued as if the match with the bishop’s grandson were already decided. “The boys can work in the stables and cut the hay in fall and the girls can help me in the house and with the little ones.”

“You seem to have this all planned out,” Hannah said, trying hard not to let her amusement show. “Does Joshua agree with these plans?”

“Oh, he hardly knows I’m alive,” she said, resting her chin on her knees. “But he will. Someday.”

Hannah watched the girl watching the game and thought back to when she and Caleb’s father had shared dreams of a large family and a lifetime together. But they had not been blessed with many children—only Caleb. And she understood how that had put undue pressure on her son. There ought to have been siblings
for him, but she had miscarried many times and then Caleb’s father had died.

Greta nudged her as Levi came up to bat and before facing the pitcher, he glanced back at her and pointed to the far right side of the field.

“Oh, that’s so romantic,” Greta squealed. “He’s going to hit a home run just for you, Hannah.”

The pitch came low and fast and Levi swung. There was a crack as ball met bat and then the ball was sailing in a high arc between first and second base. The fielder backed up but the ball stayed aloft until it landed several yards behind the fielder.

“Home run,” several players on both teams crowed as Levi trotted around the bases, grinning like a schoolboy. They did not care about scores. They only cared about the sport of playing and when Levi crossed home plate both teams gathered to congratulate him.

Moments later he and Caleb walked back toward Hannah and Greta. They were rosy-cheeked and Levi was still breathing hard but he had his arm around Caleb’s shoulders and Hannah could not help but think that he would make a good father.

And it hit her suddenly that Levi
should
be a father and if he insisted on pursuing her, he never would be. She had proven that she was barren save for Caleb. Any idea that she might entertain his attempts at courtship was sheer selfishness and she would have none of it.

They let Caleb drive the buggy home and once there, he and Greta set about unhitching and stabling the horse for the night.

“I have something to tell you,” Levi said as he walked Hannah back to the house. “I have been taking instruction to be baptized.”

Hannah stared at him, thinking this must be some sort of joke. He had run away and abandoned his family and his faith. Surely he understood that he could not simply go back…

“When I ran away I had not yet been baptized,” he explained. “In fact, it was my grandfather’s insistence that I prepare to join the church that was part of my reason for leaving. Once Bishop Troyer realized that, he reminded me that never having been baptized or never having accepted the responsibilities of living in the Amish faith, I was never shunned. It was he who suggested that it is never too late to join the church and accept the obligations that come with such an act.”

“But how could you ever…”

“I have divested myself of anything connected with the outside world—the English world, Hannah. Jake owns the circus and the state has the mansion here and most of the land holdings I once owned. I have been preparing myself for this moment ever since that day when I watched your train leaving Baraboo. I…”

She placed her fingers over his lips unable to hear more. “You cannot come into the faith for false reasons, Levi. Being baptized and joining the church is not a means to an end—it is a commitment to live your life a certain way no matter what. Do not do this because of me.”

“There was a time when I would have done anything if it meant that we could be together,” he said. “When I first realized that I was in love with you…”

“No,” she cried. “This is wrong and I will not allow it.” She gathered her skirts and ran back to the house, closing the door behind her.

“Hannah?” Gunther glanced up from reading his bible. “Are you unwell?”

“I am…” She had meant to assure him that everything was all right, that she was simply tired, that she would see him in the morning. But instead she started to weep and could not seem to stop.

Between her sobs she told him what Levi had told her, adding that she was certain he was doing this only because he thought he was in love with her. “And even if he were to return to the faith for the proper reasons, any idea that he and I might…”

“Why not?”

“He is a man catching up to the life he left behind. He wants marriage and a family.” She broke down completely.

Gunther remained silent and slowly she regained control. “It’s impossible,” she finished on the hiccup of a sob.

“And yet, it seems to me that there is another way to look at this,” Gunther suggested, stroking his gray beard. “Think of it, Hannah. Think of how Levi came into our lives. Think of how many times along the way he should have simply disappeared from our lives but did not. What if God has led the two of you to one another? What if God has used you, and Levi’s love for you to bring him back to his faith? Where is the harm in that?”

Her head was spinning. “But surely if his only reason for…”

“And do you know for certain that you are his only reason, Hannah? That speaks of arrogance that you could have such influence.”

Hannah bowed her head. Of course, Gunther was
right. How immodest of her to set herself on such a high pedestal. She should have rejoiced in Levi’s decision, not degraded it with her own conceit. “I can see your point. I should apologize,” she said. “Thank you, Gunther.”

Outside, she could hear Levi’s laughter as he talked with Caleb and Greta in the barn. She followed the golden light of the lantern the children had taken with them when they went to stable the horse. They were talking about the baseball game and when she stepped into the open door of the barn, she saw Levi showing Greta how to grip a bat properly.

“Children, it’s late,” she said when they looked up at her and the two of them nodded and headed for the house.

“I should go,” Levi said as he put on his straw hat and rolled down his sleeves. He did not look at her as he passed her on his way out.

“I’m sorry to have doubted you,” she said, and he stopped but did not turn around. “It is good that you have heard God’s call for you to return to the faith of your ancestors. I am happy for you.”

He picked up the lantern and used it to light her face. “You’ve been crying.”

“Yes, but my tears were tears of pride and arrogance.”