Hannah's Journey (21 page)

“Where’s Caleb?” Hannah asked as Levi helped her into their buggy.

“He’s walking home with a couple of his friends.”

On the ride home, Hannah was overcome with exhaustion and within minutes of leaving Merle’s farm, her head rested on Levi’s shoulder and she was fast asleep. When they reached their farm, she roused enough to realize that Levi was carrying her into the house and up to their bedroom.

“I have to…” she protested sleepily.

“You have to rest,” he said. “We have a full day tomorrow.” He laid her gently on their bed, removed her shoes and then her prayer covering and pulled the pins from her hair, fanning it over the pillow. “Merry Christ
mas, my Hannah,” he whispered as he kissed her lightly on the lips and then tiptoed from the room.

Hannah woke the following morning and realized that she had slept through most of the afternoon and all of the night. The first thing she noticed was that Levi was not in the room, although it was obvious that he had slept next to her as always. Then she heard muffled laughter and whispers in the hallway outside the closed bedroom door.

Something clunked against the wall and then she heard Levi announce, “Special delivery!” followed by Caleb’s giggle.

Hannah got up and put on her robe as she padded barefoot to the door and opened it. Caleb and Levi were standing there, both grinning broadly and each holding one end of the most beautiful cradle Hannah had ever seen.

Her first instinct was to protest that it was too soon, that they could not be sure, that there might be no baby to fill such a wonderful cradle. But then she looked at Caleb and saw his pride in what he had obviously helped Levi build. “Do you like it, Ma?”

“It’s wonderful,” she said.

“It’s also heavy,” Levi added.

Hannah swung the bedroom door open and stood aside while they carried the cradle into the room.

“Where do you want it?” Caleb asked, glancing around the sparsely furnished room.

“I think there,” Hannah said, pointing to her side of the bed. “That way I can rock the baby and go back to sleep.”

“Ah, then I suppose the other piece will be on my
side of the bed,” Levi said as he and Caleb set the cradle in place.

“What other piece?” Hannah asked.

Caleb was already back out in the hall and came through the door carrying a bentwood rocker. “This one.” He set it down in the corner. “Go ahead, Ma, give it a trial run—or rock, I guess.”

Hannah sat in the beautifully crafted chair, running her palms over the smooth wood of the arms and pushing the chair into motion with one foot. “I love it,” she said huskily. Then she looked over at the cradle. “I love them both. But how…”

“We worked on them down at the circus shop,” Caleb said. “Levi said we weren’t ready to let folks know about the baby yet and Jake—Mr. Jenkins—and the others promised to keep it secret so it all worked out just fine.”

He was beaming. Hannah had not seen her son so happy since they had returned to Florida. “Thank you,” she said and held out her arms to him.

“Ah, Ma,” he protested but he came to her and accepted the kiss she gave him on each cheek.

Levi had stepped out into the hall again and returned with packages wrapped in brown paper and string. “I found these in the closet where you keep your sewing,” he said. He turned one package over, eyeing it curiously. “I thought just maybe…”

“Yes, there’s one for each of you,” Hannah said, laughing. “That one’s Caleb’s.”

Levi tossed the boy his package and Caleb sat on the side of the bed tearing off the string and paper. Inside were three new shirts and two pair of trousers.

“You’re growing so fast,” Hannah said.

“Thanks, Ma. Can I wear one outfit today for the pageant?”

Hannah nodded.

“There’s one more thing,” Levi said, handing Caleb a small package.

Caleb unwrapped it to reveal a pocketknife. “It was my father’s,” Levi told him, and Hannah thought her heart would burst with joy at this sign that Levi had come to think of Caleb as his son.

Caleb studied the knife for a long moment, turning it over in his hand. Then he looked from Hannah to Levi. “You know I was thinking,” he began, his voice cracking, “I mean with a new baby coming and all…”

“What is it, Caleb?” Hannah felt her throat close with fear that maybe Caleb would not welcome a new child—another child.

“It might be confusing for the kid if I’m calling you ‘Levi’ and he’s calling you ‘Pa,’ so I was thinking maybe—I mean if you wouldn’t care, I was thinking I could call you Pa?”

Levi wrapped the boy in a bear hug and Hannah heard her husband’s voice crack as her son’s had when he said, “I think that would be a fine idea, son.”

Hannah sniffed back tears of joy and rose from the rocker to complete the circle, wrapping her arms around the two of them and laying her cheek against Levi’s back.

“Hey,” Caleb said as he wriggled his way free, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment at having caused such a scene, “you didn’t open your present from Ma yet.”

“So I didn’t,” Levi said as he picked up the last pack
age and turned it slowly over in his hands. “What could this be?” He squeezed the thick soft package.

“Open it,” Caleb urged.

Levi grinned and tore off the paper, revealing a large cotton quilt. He spread it over the bed and examined it. The background was a patchwork of solid dark blues, greens, browns and purples—the fabrics commonly used to make Amish clothing. But the center was a feast of brilliant reds, yellows and oranges.

“It looks just like one of the wheels on the circus wagons,” Caleb said.

And when Levi realized that the boy was right, he looked at Hannah, his eyes full of questions.

“I wanted you to have something to remind you of how we came together—of how we became a family,” she said shyly. “I can change it and make it all plain,” she added, suddenly afraid that he didn’t want to be reminded of those days.

“Don’t change it,” he said huskily. “I was just thinking that maybe you could make a smaller one for the baby.”

“And one for my bed,” Caleb added.

“We’re going to raise some eyebrows when that quilt is washed and hanging on the line,” Hannah warned them.

Both Caleb and Levi shrugged.

“I’m not one to live by what others may think of me, Hannah.”

“Neither am I,” Caleb chorused.

Hannah smiled. “Neither am I.”

June, 1929

H
annah awoke with a start, her gown soaked through in the oppressive heat that even at daybreak was overwhelming. Her hair clung to her cheeks and sometime during the night, she and Levi had both kicked off the covers.

She rolled onto her side and saw that Levi was already up. There had been no rain for weeks now and Levi and the other Amish farmers worried constantly about their crops. It was odd to think of the parched fields when it felt as if she were swimming in dampness.

She sat up and was gripped by a pain so sharp that she bit down on her lip to keep from crying out. She could hear Caleb passing her bedroom door on his way downstairs and she did not want to alarm him.

But oh, the pain came in waves that threatened to pull her under like the heavy undertow in the Gulf. She clutched the edge of the bed and rode out the pain. Then when it seemed to have passed, she pushed herself
to her feet. But she was only able to make it as far as the foot of the bed where she was reaching to retrieve the circus quilt when the next wave hit.

Her knees buckled and this time she cried out.

“Ma!” She heard the pound of Caleb’s footsteps coming back up the stairs. He flung open the door and froze.

“Get your father,” she managed.

Caleb stood there, his eyes focused not on her but on the bed. Hannah followed his gaze and saw the dark stain of blood. “Go,” she said. “Now!”

She eased herself onto the floor and clutched the quilt against her as she heard Caleb’s cries for help echoing across the farmyard.

“Please,” she prayed, “please not when we’ve come so far. Please.”

But they had not come far enough. The baby was not due for another six weeks, at least. It was too soon and there was blood and…

Hannah wept.

Levi’s boots hit each stair in rhythm with Caleb’s horse galloping off.

“I sent Caleb for the doctor,” Levi said, kneeling next to her.

“It’s too soon,” she said.

“Maybe not,” he replied and held her close.

They stayed that way, him tightening his hold on her as together they rode out every labor pain, her collapsing against him once the pain had passed, until they heard voices in the yard, then in the house.

“Up here,” Levi bellowed, and Hannah heard for the first time in his voice the fear and panic that he
had spent the past several minutes swallowing down as he tried to convince her that everything would be all right.

“Let’s get her on the bed,” the doctor said, taking charge as Pleasant followed him into the room.

They both looked at the soiled sheets.

“Caleb’s room,” Pleasant said and led the way as Levi carried Hannah, and the doctor followed. In the hall Caleb hung back, his eyes wide with fear.

“Go get your grandfather now,” the doctor ordered, and Caleb raced down the stairs. “It’ll occupy the boy,” the doctor explained when Levi seemed about to question why Gunther should be called. “He can keep the boy calm.”

Levi lay Hannah on Caleb’s bed and sat next to her, gripping her hand as yet another pain hit.

“You should wait outside,” the doctor said as he prepared to examine her, and Pleasant rushed about gathering towels and a basin.

“Not leaving,” Levi said and refused to look at the doctor.

“Stubborn,” Hannah managed when the doctor met her eyes, his bushy white eyebrows questioning what she would prefer. “Let him stay. He’ll just worry.”

“Very well. Pleasant, I’ll need your help. Are you up to this?”

“I’ve participated in deliveries before, but…” Pleasant huffed. “Not human babies perhaps but…”

“Fine. Do exactly as I ask and don’t hesitate, all right?”

Hannah saw Pleasant’s lips narrow into the familiar line of determination that was her trademark and felt
comforted by that until the pain came again and threatened to rip her in half.

“I’m here,” Levi said, his eyes filled with tears as he witnessed her pain. “Doc, do something,” he growled.

“All right, Hannah, now the next time you feel the pain I need for you to push hard. Ready?”

Hannah nodded and waited as she might wait for the next wave to crash onto the beach in a tropical storm.

“Now!” the doctor coached.

Hannah fought with everything she had to push past the pain and when it passed, she felt exhausted. And then she heard a sound she had thought would never be hers to hear again. She heard the cry of her baby.

“Not done yet,” the doctor said when she raised herself half onto her side to see her child. A fresh wave of pain hit her, knocking her flat.

“Push!” the doctor bellowed.

Hannah had little choice but to follow his command. But this time the effort was more than she could take and she felt the pain pulling her under and then everything went dark.

Slowly, Hannah became aware of movement in the room and yet everything seemed quieter, less chaotic. She opened her eyes and saw Levi talking quietly with the doctor. She glanced around Caleb’s room.

There was no sign of the baby.

Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes as she understood that they had almost made it this time. The baby had lived at least for a moment for she had heard the cry, but then…
“She’s awake,” Pleasant said as she dipped a cloth in water and used it to wipe Hannah’s brow.

Levi was next to her in an instant and the doctor stood at the foot of the bed. “Well, young lady, you gave us a bit of a fright there,” he said. “We thought we’d lost you.”

Hannah ignored him and turned to Levi. “The baby?”

Levi smiled. “Looks like Caleb and I are going to have to build another cradle.”

“I…” Hannah was confused. Levi was smiling. So was the doctor. So—miracle of miracles—was Pleasant.

“It’s twins,” Pleasant told her. “A boy and a girl.”

“Twins?” Hannah fought past all the fears and anxieties of the past several months as she tried to accept what they were telling her. “And they are all right?”

As if on cue, she heard the wail of two different babies coming from across the hall. And then Greta and Lydia were standing in the doorway, each of them holding a bundle that looked for all the world like a sack of flour.

“They are hungry,” Levi said as he stood and took the bundle that Greta held and placed the child in Hannah’s arms. “And they would like to know their names,” he added.

Hannah had put off Levi’s attempts to choose names for their child in advance. Now there were two of them.

“What was your father’s name?” Hannah asked as she examined her son, counting his fingers and toes to be sure he was as perfect as he appeared.

“Reuben,” Levi whispered.

Hannah held out her free arm for the baby that Lydia held. “And your mother?”

“Emma.”

“Then hello, Reuben and Emma Harnisher,” she said softly, kissing each. She looked up at Levi then. “All right?”

Unable to speak, Levi nodded and then sat on the edge of the bed and took his daughter in his arms and rocked her slowly from side to side.

Out in the yard they heard a commotion, as several buggies seemed to arrive at the same moment. Pleasant went to see what was happening and the doctor chose that moment to take his leave as well, leaving Levi and Hannah alone with their babies.

Levi cupped Hannah’s cheek with his free hand. “Are you truly all right?”

“A little sore and tired,” she said, “but I have never been happier, and I have never loved you more.”

As Levi leaned in to kiss Hannah, Emma started to squirm and fuss and Levi looked so utterly lost that Hannah couldn’t help but laugh. “Here,” she said, exchanging son for daughter. “She favors you,” she said, stroking Emma’s tuft of copper-colored hair as her daughter settled into the curve of her arm.

Downstairs they heard voices.

“Truly, I don’t think…” Pleasant was protesting as they heard footsteps in the lower hallway.

“Let them come,” Levi called out.

There was quiet for one long moment. Then one by one they shyly entered the small room.

First Caleb and then Gunther followed by the bishop and a parade of their neighbors.

“Come meet your brother and sister,” Hannah said, coaxing Caleb forward after Levi had introduced the twins to everyone.

“Do you want to hold him?” Levi offered, holding Reuben out to Caleb.

Caleb looked panicked and then swallowed hard. “Maybe later,” he muttered as he leaned in for a closer look. “They’re really tiny.”

“They’ll grow,” one of the women said and the other women all giggled.

From outside, came the unmistakable sound of a motorcar approaching the house.

“It’s Jake and Lily and Fred and Ida,” Caleb announced from his position by the window.

Hannah did not even bother to remind her son that he was being too familiar using their first names like that. She saw one or two of the neighbor women raise their eyebrows and scoot a little closer to each other.

“They are family,” she said quietly. “Levi’s family—and mine.”

Their circus family crowded into the room explaining that they had come as soon as Jake had returned from seeing the doctor and reported that his appointment had been cut short when Caleb had burst into the doc’s office and announced that his Ma was having the baby. The way they told it—interrupting one another to supply every detail—it was impossible not to be charmed. And when Lily produced two rattles—one pink and one blue—for the babies, the neighbors crowded in closer.

“Not much of a present but it’ll do until we have time to shop,” Lily said as Fred gently shook the rattle
in front of Reuben and the baby seemed to actually smile.

“Ah,” chorused the neighbors and they smiled at Lily.

After that, conversation seemed to flow naturally among the gathering as Pleasant announced that Hannah needed her rest and herded everyone from the room. For several moments after they left, Levi and Hannah could hear voices outside their window. Gunther asking Fred about someone he had worked with in the horse tent. Lily telling Pleasant about one of the women from the costume department who had left the circus to marry a Chicago banker. And the buzz of the neighbors—talking among themselves, but no doubt taking in the easy exchange between the Goodloes and the circus people.

Hannah held out her hand to Levi, who stood at the window cradling Reuben as he watched the departure of their guests. “Come sit with me,” she said.

Levi nodded but then leaned out the window. “Caleb? Come up here, okay?”

A moment later Caleb stood at the door.

“Bring that rocking chair over here,” Levi said, and the boy did as he was asked.

“Now have a seat,” Levi said with a wink at Hannah.

Caleb eyed him suspiciously but sat.

Levi placed Reuben in his brother’s arms. Then he crossed the hall and carried the cradle into the small room. He placed Emma in the cradle, then sat on the bed with Hannah. Gathering Hannah into his arms, he rocked the cradle with the toe of his boot.

Hannah cuddled into his shoulder. “Our little family,” she murmured happily.

“It’s a good start,” Levi answered, and then he grinned and to Caleb’s obvious embarrassment, Levi kissed his wife.