Happy Ever After (20 page)

‘Look, I can understand very well why Aimee wouldn’t want a child at this stage in her life. If I found myself pregnant, I wouldn’t be very happy—’

‘Yeah, well, you’re that bit older,’ he interrupted.

‘Thanks for reminding me,’ she said dryly.

‘Ah, you know what I mean. But just because she made a mistake getting pregnant—’

‘
She
made a mistake!
She!
’ Connie arched an eyebrow at him.

‘Well
we
then,’ he amended irritably, and she glared at him.

‘If you want one piece of advice, Barry, don’t lay all the blame at Aimee’s door when you’re having your conversation,’ said Connie acidly.

‘OK. Point taken. But what am I going to do? I don’t want her to get rid of our child. I feel I’ve been given another chance to be a good parent, to make up for the mistakes I made with Debbie. Does that sound daft?’ he said, embarrassed.

‘No, not at all. I would have
loved
another child. My miscarriage was one of the hardest things I ever had to deal with. But maybe it was a blessing in disguise. You would have felt completely trapped, even more than you felt with just one child, and God knows how we would have ended up. I don’t think we’d be sitting here talking today,’ she said quietly. ‘And I’m not sure if that’s the tack you should take with Aimee. After all, she could come back and say that
she
didn’t make any mistakes, and
she
doesn’t feel the need of another child to have a second chance at good parenting.’

‘Oh right, I see what you’re saying. Thanks for that.’

‘Look, it’s your business. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m not getting involved, Barry,’ Connie said crossly.

‘Look, please don’t apologize. I honestly and sincerely value your opinion. You’re so easy to talk to.’

‘Well, you didn’t feel like that when we were married,’ she said tartly, fed up of being the understanding ex. Did he ever think that she might have problems of her own, without him offloading on her? Typical Barry. Me. Me. Me.

‘I’m sorry, Connie. I really mucked up your life,’ he said contritely.

‘
What?
’

‘I mucked up your life,’ he repeated.

Connie laughed. He had such a sense of his own importance still.
That
certainly hadn’t changed. ‘Don’t be ridiculous, Barry. OK, you walked out on us, and it was hard, I’m not denying that. It was very,
very
hard going. But I got over it. Trust me. You needn’t go around feeling guilty on my behalf. I’m fine.’

‘But you’re on your own.’

‘There’s worse things, believe me,’ she said emphatically.

‘But isn’t there anyone you felt you could have got involved with?’ he probed.

‘Not when Debbie was growing up, no,’ she said matter-of-factly. ‘But that could change now. I’m footloose and fancy free, and a very sexy and interesting man has appeared on my horizon,’ she exaggerated, thinking of a man with a lean and rangy body, the bluest of blue eyes and a very handsome face.

‘Oh! Who?’ Barry asked peevishly.

‘You don’t know him. Now, I really must be off. Go home and sort things with Aimee while you have the chance is my advice to you, and good luck,’ she added, softening when she saw his woebegone face.

‘Thanks, Connie. I’ll let you know how it goes.’

‘Barry, you don’t have to tell me what goes on in your marriage. That’s your business,’ she said firmly.

‘I know, but it’s nice to have a friend to talk to.’

‘Go and talk to your wife,’ she advised, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

‘OK, I will. Have a great holiday with Karen. You deserve it.’

‘Will do. Bye, Barry, I hope you get things sorted.’

She left him sitting dejectedly and headed off to take a short cut through the grounds of the Royal Marine. Barry was something else, expecting her to advise him on his marital problems. And having the arrogance to think he’d mucked up her life and that she was a sad and lonely woman. She wasn’t going to let him get away with that, even if he
had
mucked it up for a few years. She wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. A woman had her pride, after all! And he needn’t be so smug, she thought indignantly. Right now, it seemed, she was in a much better place than he was, although she wouldn’t have said that several months ago, remembering the acute pangs of envy she’d had when she’d seen him, Aimee and Melissa strolling into a nearby restaurant for lunch earlier in the year, looking affluent and elegantly turned out. But appearances were deceptive and, as she’d discovered in the run-up to the wedding, Barry’s second marriage was far from perfect.

Typical, though, of her ex to think he could dump all his woes on her and expect her to get involved. Aimee would have a fit if she knew he’d been discussing their very personal problems with her. Connie wasn’t having anything to do with it, and that was why she’d thrown in the red herring of the attractive man on her horizon. And Drew
was
an attractive man, she grinned, so she hadn’t been dishonest, so to speak. It was just that the distance of the horizon was a lot further than she’d implied.

Still, it had been a joy to watch Debbie and Melissa walking off together, and the fact that Debbie had issued the invitation off her own bat was the icing on the cake. There’d been nothing forced about their encounter. It had gone so smoothly, and the two sisters had no inkling that she and Barry had been in cahoots. For that alone, the get-together was a complete success.

An interesting morning all in all, she thought, dying to get on the phone to Karen, her best friend and Barry’s sister. Karen had no time for Aimee, so perhaps she wouldn’t go so far as to say that Barry’s wife wanted to have a termination. She’d hate to be in Aimee’s position herself, and she certainly wasn’t going to make any judgement on the woman. What was it the Native Americans said? Walk a mile in my moccasins before you judge me. Aimee had enough on her plate to deal with, without a bitchy sister-in-law and ex-wife . . . even if she was a stuck-up, snooty cow.

He supposed he should go home and have it out with Aimee. Barry almost groaned out loud at the thought. He just couldn’t face it. How he wished he hadn’t discovered she was pregnant this morning. It was true: ignorance was bliss! If she’d gone and had her abortion, he would be none the wiser and far happier for it.

It would have been a perfect morning. Sitting sipping coffees with his daughters – and Connie had been lovely. The soothing balm of forgiveness had worked its magic, even though he’d never thought it would happen. He’d felt shriven, if that wasn’t too fanciful to imagine, and now he had this to deal with. Just when life seemed to have settled on a relatively even keel, he’d been dealt a body blow that was going to have a colossal impact on his life whatever route he and Aimee took.

Life had suddenly become complicated again, he thought dejectedly. And even Connie had deserted him. She’d been quite firm about not getting involved or offering advice. He needed her as a friend right now; she didn’t seem to understand that. He certainly needed her much more than she needed him. How the tables had turned. And what was it with this guy – no, this
sexy
guy – she’d been going on about? When had he appeared on the scene, and who was he, Barry wondered petulantly.

She definitely had a sparkle in her eyes. She looked terrific. Hardly any make-up. Her skin tanned, her hair windswept, she looked so . . . he searched for an adjective . . . wholesome, he decided. Wholesome and healthy and natural. Unlike Aimee, who would never set foot outside the door without her full armour of make-up and her immaculately coiffed hair. How disloyal was that, he thought, thoroughly disgruntled. What was he doing, comparing his wife and his ex-wife? Well, Aimee had certainly shown him no loyalty, either at the wedding, or by not telling him she was pregnant. She’d behaved as if she were a separate entity and not part of a marriage. She’d definitely not behaved like a loyal and loving wife – or even as someone who respected him. That was the worst thing of all.

And where was that train of thought going to get him? Precisely nowhere. Barry stood up and shoved a five-euro note under a mug, tucked his paper under his arm and made his reluctant way home.

Aimee froze when she heard the key in the lock. Mantled in tension since they’d left, twisting and turning restlessly in bed had left her headachy and exhausted. She needed to be sharp and on the ball. She needed to be able to argue her case to Barry. She needed to be herself and not this weepy, weak, wimpy person she didn’t recognize. Where was her confidence, her certainty and her focus? She hurried out of bed and raced for the shower. Bed was not the place to make her stand.

The sharp, cold needles of water made her gasp before the heat came into it, but it was just what she needed to get her adrenalin flowing, and she rubbed herself vigorously with a shower mitt and body scrub until her flesh turned red from the friction.

She held her face up to the water, letting its steaming fountain buffet her. By the time she was finished, she felt in control again. Ready to get her confrontation with Barry over and done with – because that was what it would be, she reckoned. She’d seen the look in his eyes and knew that they were in trouble.

She dried herself, twisted a towel in a turban around her hair and slathered moisturizer over her limbs before wrapping a soft terry-towelling robe around her. She was tying the belt as she walked into their bedroom when she saw him standing, arms folded, by the French doors.

‘When were you going to tell me? Or were you going to tell me?’ His eyes were like flints, and hostility oozed from him like poison, taking her aback. She hadn’t expected him to be so full on in his attack.

‘Where’s Melissa?’ she asked sharply, not wanting their daughter to overhear them arguing.

‘She’s not here. She’ll be back later.’ Barry wasn’t going to get into explanations about meeting Debbie and Connie. ‘When were you going to tell me, Aimee, or have I any rights at all in this?’ he persisted angrily.

Aimee took a deep breath. ‘I wasn’t going to tell you, Barry. I was going to deal with it myself,’ she said coldly, ‘if it’s the truth you want.’

‘The truth would be good, Aimee. At least let’s have that between us, if there’s no loyalty, no respect, no consideration,’ he snarled.

Aimee flinched. She’d never seen Barry so incensed.

‘I’ll give you the truth so, if that’s what you want, so listen carefully,’ she enunciated resolutely. ‘I don’t want another child. I don’t want my body out of control. I don’t want to be feeling sick and tired and in a few months’ time waddling around like an elephant—’

‘You wouldn’t be an elephant, you were very neat with Melissa,’ he cut in.

‘Whatever.
I
felt like an elephant. And here’s some more truth for you, Barry. I’ve just been offered a position as MD of my own events and catering company, with double the salary and a top-of-the-range car, and I’m not putting that in jeopardy for a pregnancy that I’ve absolutely no desire for.’ She glared at her husband defiantly.

‘You mean you’d put your career before our child?’ He was shocked, and bitterly disappointed in her.

‘Oh, for God’s sake, Barry, don’t be so emotive. It’s only a tiny speck, no bigger than my thumb—’

‘It’s a
baby
, Aimee. Our baby! A little boy or a little girl, a brother or sister for Melissa, and we created it and, if you call that emotive, fine. But I want to keep the child. Be very clear about this. I do not want you to abort our baby, Aimee.’ He was ashen, his hands curled tightly by his side as he stared at his wife.

‘Stop, Barry, stop bullying me,’ she shouted. ‘Have I no say at all about what happens to my body, to my life? I can’t tell these people I’m pregnant – they might withdraw the job offer, and I’ve striven for this all my working life. I’m not good with children, I’m not maternal, you know that, and I’m not making any apologies for it. It’s what and who I am. It’s me. I had Melissa. I do my best with her, but she’s more than enough for me. Nothing’s going to change with this one. I just can’t do it.’

‘Aaww, Aimee,’ he groaned. ‘We’ll get a nanny. If you’re taking on this job with a whacking big salary, we’ll be well able to afford one.’

‘I don’t want a nanny,’ she wailed. ‘I don’t want to be spending half my salary on childcare. With this money we could buy a lovely house in Dalkey or Killiney. We could consider a place in Spain or Portugal. Buy on a golf course, so you could play golf,’ she pleaded, feeling everything slipping from her control.

‘And what will you tell Melissa?’ Barry demanded.

‘I’ll tell her I had a miscarriage. They happen all the time. You told me Connie had one,’ she reminded him.

‘Yes. She had a miscarriage, and don’t dare even put yourself in the same sort of position as Connie was in. She grieved that child. She knew what she’d lost. A baby, not a speck the size of whatever you want to compare it to. So you’re a hypocrite as well as everything else,’ he spat.

‘Why, what do you want me to tell her? That I went for an abortion? Is that what you want?’ She was red-faced with frustration.

‘I want you to keep the baby, that’s what I want, Aimee,’ he shouted.

‘And if I don’t?’ she challenged.

‘I don’t want to stay married to you!’ he muttered.

‘So you’re blackmailing me,’ she said in disgust.

‘No. It’s up to you, Aimee. You decide.’

‘But if I feel I have to keep it, I’ll hate you, Barry. Our relationship will change completely.’

‘It’s changed anyway. You know that as well as I do and, as regards you hating me, that’s a risk I’m prepared to take. I want this child not only for us, I want it for Melissa. I want her to have family to turn to in times of trouble. It’s not all about you and me and our needs.’

‘If you make me have this baby,
I’ll
be the one who won’t want to stay married to
you
,’ she threatened.

‘Well, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,’ he said implacably. ‘It’s my baby, too, Aimee.’

‘I hate you already,’ she exploded. ‘I hate you for not understanding, I hate you for putting everyone else before me, and I hate you for bullying me with threats of leaving. I’ll have this baby if it’s so important to you, but we’re finished, Barry. I’ll never forgive you for turning your back on me in my hour of need. Once it’s born, I’m going to get a place of my own, and you can do what you like with it.’ She turned away from him and walked back into the ensuite, leaving him shaken to his core.