Happy People Read and Drink Coffee (12 page)

“So you're still here, are you?”

I lowered my head and stopped myself from answering her.

“I'm going to see Abby and Jack and make sure that you won't be bothering us any more.”

While feeling around in my pockets for my cigarettes, I found my car keys. That was what I needed. I wasn't fast enough.

“Edward,” she called.

“Coming,” I heard him reply.

I slammed the car door and sped away.

For more than two hours, I drove as fast as I could, without a destination or direction. I only slowed down when I got back to the village, but not slow enough to avoid seeing that Megan coming out of Jack and Abby's. She was at home everywhere. I'd thought that Mulranny would finally heal me, but instead this place was going to put me in my grave.

Judith had forgotten about me, too. She hadn't told me she was coming. And she'd been talking to Megan on the beach for an hour. When I saw her heading to my place, I quickly grabbed my bag and keys and went out.

“Diane,” she called.

“I don't have time.”

“What's going on with you?”

“None of your business.”

“Wait,” she said, grabbing hold of my arm.

“Let go of me.”

I pulled free, got into my car and drove off.

I got to Mulranny after wandering along the roads for quite a long time. Since they were all at Abby and Jack's, I'd have the pub to myself. I pushed open the door, intending to get really drunk. I climbed onto a bar stool and ordered the first of many drinks to come. Ireland was going to turn me into an alcoholic.

Over the next few hours, ordering drink after drink, I went from laughing to crying. My head on the bar, I stared at the row of empty glasses. I wanted to go outside for a smoke, but fell.

Instead of crashing down onto the floor, I collapsed against someone.

“Thanks,” I said to the guy who'd caught me. I'd never seen him around before.

“You're welcome. Can I offer you a cigarette?”

“You're a sly one!”

I walked towards the terrace, gesturing him to follow me. In spite of the fog in my head, I knew he was looking me up and down. Let him enjoy himself, I couldn't care less, after everything I'd gone through, it didn't matter. I went into “dumb blond” mode. I laughed like a silly fool at the jokes he told me, even though I didn't understand a word. He didn't waste any time. He put his arm around my waist to walk me back to the bar. He was staring at my cleavage. I glanced up at him; not bad. After all, one Irishman was as good as another. He might be just what I needed to exorcise Edward. I gave him an inviting look and suggested he have a drink with me. He didn't hesitate to accept.

“Can you bring us another round?” I mumbled to the barman.

“Diane, you have to stop now.”

“No, brings us some drinks, I'm paying. And I have a right to have a good time!”

I threw some coins on the counter. Another drink appeared. I gulped it down and everything went blank.

I was completely out of it but I could hear voices shouting around me.

“Get away from her!”

That voice . . . I would have recognized it anywhere. Edward. Who was he shouting about like that? I opened my eyes and saw him grab the guy by his shirt collar. He said something I could barely make out.

“Wait a minute. She's the one who's been coming on to me,” he said, pointing at me.

Edward's fist flew; the guy ended up on the ground. Getting shakily to his feet, he didn't hang around for more; he made a beeline for the exit.

“Oh . . . what have I done?” I said.

“It's what you nearly did that's interesting,” Judith replied. I hadn't noticed her before.

“Screw you.”

With those fine words, I tried to turn on my heels but it was my head that was turning, and the room was spinning dangerously.

“Hey big brother, she's trying to take off,” Judith called to Edward. “Wait, Diane, we'll take you home.”

“Leave me the hell alone; I can go home by myself. And keep your nose out of my business!”

I stopped. It was now or never if I wanted to make him understand what I was thinking. I tried to focus because I had not one, but two Edwards standing in front of me.

“Listen to me and listen good,” I shouted. “You have no right interfering in my life. You lost that right the other night. I can sleep with whoever I . . .”

“Be quiet,” he ordered. “You've already made enough of a fool of yourself.”

Before I had time to reply, he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder like a sack. I beat his back with my fists and struggled.

“Put me down, you shithead.”

He tightened his grip and went out to the parking lot. Without a single word, he put me in his car. I blacked out.

I woke up in my own bed. Someone had undressed me.

“You're going to have some hangover,” Judith said.

“Leave me the hell alone.”

“Not a chance.”

She pulled the covers over me before leaving.

A few minutes later, I could hear more footsteps. I opened my eyes. Edward put a glass of water on my night table and stroked my forehead.

“Don't touch me.”

I tried to sit up.

“Lie down.”

Edward gently pushed me down. I was incapable of fighting him.

“This is all your fault,” I said, tears rising. “You're nothing but a dirty bastard.”

“I know.”

I hid under the covers. I heard him rush down the stairs. Then the front door slammed.

My whole body ached. Every step I took reverberated in my head. When I got to the bathroom, I had to hold onto the sink. I was horrified by how I looked in the mirror. My face was swollen, my mascara had run under my eyes, and my hair looked like a crow's nest. I was so ashamed of myself that I didn't dare look at my wedding ring, let alone touch it. I brushed my teeth several times to try to get rid of the taste of alcohol encrusted in my mouth. One thing was sure: I was going to stop drinking.

Judith was sitting on my couch, leafing through a magazine.

“What are you still doing here?”

“Why are you so angry?”

“You win! I'm going to clear off from your shitty hellhole. You're all crazy.”

“What are you talking about?”

“All of you have been laughing at me ever since I got here.”

“What? We were all worried about you last night.”

“You don't say.”

I raised my eyes to heaven. Judith went into the kitchen while I flopped down into an armchair.

She came back five minutes later holding a tray.

“You eat and then we'll talk.”

I ate my breakfast while crying. I drank my coffee and Judith refilled my cup. Then she lit a cigarette and handed it to me.

“Why didn't you tell me you were coming?” I asked.

“That's not the reason you were so pathetic last night though, was it?”

“You were the last straw. I mean, in a manner of speaking. It seems I didn't need a straw, did I? Was I really that pathetic?”

“Trust me, you don't want to know.”

She raised an eyebrow; I held my head in my hands.

“Tell me what's going on. Every since I got here, I feel like I'm in a living nightmare. The slut is back, Edward is beating up any guy who goes near you, and you're acting like a bitch in heat at the pub.”

I was still holding my head in my hands; I peeked through my fingers to look at her.

“What slut?”

“Megan. Who else?”

“You call your brother's wife a slut?”

“Where on earth did you get the idea she's his wife? I think I'd know if my brother was married!”

“Well, that's how she introduced herself, and he didn't deny it.”

“What a jerk.” She raised an eyebrow. “Wait a minute . . . there's something I don't get. You were there when she showed up at his place late that night?”

“Yes,” I replied, lowering my eyes.

“Did you sleep with him?”

“We didn't get a chance.”

“Shit! That bitch has some kind of radar. And Edward has no balls.”

She stood up and started pacing back and forth. She was making me dizzy. I lit another cigarette and went to look out the window. I saw Edward on the beach, in the distance. I leaned my forehead against the cold glass.

“Diane.”

“What?”

“Do you love him?”

I paused, my heart racing. “I think so . . . something is pushing me towards him. When we were alone together, I felt good . . . but that doesn't change anything; even if they're not married, they're together.”

“No, you're wrong.”

Judith crashed down on the couch, lit a cigarette, screwed up her eyes, and looked at me.

“If he finds out that I told you about it, he'll kill me. But I don't give a damn. Sit down.”

I sat down.

“You know that his lousy character isn't just because our parents died. His relationship with Megan screwed up his life. That's why I came rushing over as fast as I could after Abby's panicky phone call.”

“So who the hell is this woman?”

“A social climber. A shark. A bitch. She's always wanted to be successful and have some status in society, any way she could and using anyone she could. She started with nothing, made herself who she is today, worked like a dog to get where she is. She's a head-hunter for the biggest recruitment agency in Dublin. She'd disown her mother and father with no problem at all to get what she wants. She's merciless, cunning, vicious, and more importantly, manipulative.”

“And that's the kind of woman he likes?” I scoffed.

“I have no idea, but she's the only woman he's ever lived with.”

“That woman is the love of his life?”

“In a way.”

I opened my eyes wide and tried not to throw up.

“What you need to know is that before he met her, Edward didn't want to commit to anyone. He always thought that love relationships were destined to fail. To him, if you fall in love, you suffer in the end because you'll be betrayed and abandoned. So he always had relationships that were going nowhere, until the day he met her. In the beginning, he wanted her as a trophy. She let him stew. She's a real man-eater. She'd spun her web before giving in to him.

“Edward was seduced by her willpower, self-confidence, and determination. And afterwards, she stuck the knife in while pretending to be the virtuous woman who believes in love and wants to have a family . . .”

I was seething with anger; I wanted to kill someone. How could he have been taken in by such a bitch?

“But what about you? You didn't believe her?”

“I started my own little investigation about her. I didn't like the look of her. She was too worldly, too sickly sweet to be true. I found out that she'd spotted Edward and wanted him as a plaything. She told friends that his air of the dark, tortured artist would be good for her. To her, it was a way to soften her reputation as a shark. I told Edward everything and nearly lost him. We didn't speak to each other for months.”

“How did it end between them?” I practically shouted.

“Calm down, Diane . . . It's a hell of a story . . . At the time, Edward was going through a period when he wasn't happy at work. He was working for a magazine but wanted to go freelance. Megan was dead against the plan. I always thought she was afraid her standard of living would drop. So, to make a long story short, my brother has always been the same, but in that situation, of course, he went to extremes. He was frustrated and terrifyingly angry. It wasn't a good idea to be in the same room with them when they were shouting and cursing each other. Though he still needed her and her support. But he behaved like an asshole and pushed her too far. You know it wouldn't take much.”

I tightened my fists to contain my mounting anger and rage. I was about to erupt.

“Go on . . .” I muttered between clenched teeth.

“Edward left on an assignment. When he got back, he found her in the sack with someone she worked with.”

“That's horrible!” I shouted, leaping to my feet.

“He smashed the guy's face in. He'd be dead now if it weren't for Megan pleading with Edward. Afterward, Edward loaded all his things into his car. She begged him to stay, promised it would never
happen again, that they could get through it together and that she loved him more than anything. You can imagine he wouldn't listen to a word.”

I was like a caged lion, turning in circles while staring at Judith.

“Just like him, don't you think?”

“He was going to ask her to marry him as soon as his problems at work got straightened out. You can imagine the hell he went through.”

“How did he pull himself together?”

“Well, you've seen how. He went to an animal shelter to get his mutt, then made his way to the Aran Islands. He disappeared off the face of the earth for two months. No one knew where he was. I'd even started thinking about putting up a missing persons poster. Then, one day, he turned up here and asked Abby and Jack for the keys to our parents' house. And he moved in. From that moment on, he decided that no woman would ever make him suffer like that again and that he'd stay single.”

“So why is Megan here? What does she want?”

“She wants him. She loves him, in her own way,”

I couldn't believe it.

“She never got over him,” Judith continued when she saw my astonished expression. “For five years she's done everything she can to get him back. She even came to whine at my feet. Megan's the only woman he's ever loved. In spite of everything she's done to him, I know they see each other from time to time when he goes to Dublin for work. You'd think she was having him followed! She always knows where he is. And, coincidentally, whenever they run into each other, Edward never spends the night at my place. He's like a drug addict who relapses after rehab.”