Hard Core (14 page)

Chapter 31

-Jacy-

Ledger’s fingers dug
into my hips as he drove into me. My knees sank into his mattress and my hands pressed against the plaster wall as I braced myself to meet every thrust. With as wild as the sex had gotten, I couldn’t get enough. The floorboards beneath the mattress creaked along with the walls of the cottage. I could hardly keep upright from the heady rush that had overtaken me, but I still wanted more. The harder he grasped me, the harder he pumped into me, the more I wanted.

Five minutes into the ride home, after the flush of my first orgasm had cooled from my skin, I began to tease Ledger, running my finger provocatively over the erection that pressed against his jeans. It had made both of us so hot with need, that we were undressing before we even slipped inside his house.

The raw energy, the scent of sex, our feral sounds only made it all more intense. We were both nearly senseless with desire, crazed with the need to finish what we’d started. Ledger slid a hand in front and between my legs, once again knowing just where to touch me to take me over the edge.

I stretched my arms out and pushed my bottom harder against him. His cock pummeled my pussy, delivering a sweet ache with each impact. All the while, his fingers teased my clit. The rolling tingles of pleasure started low in my belly and swept through my pussy like a hurricane.

I cried out as Ledger continued, pumping into me, pummeling my orgasm into one long, stretch of ecstasy. My knees and arms shook as Ledger thrust into me two more times before a groan rolled up from his chest. He stiffened behind me as my pussy milked his cock.

“God, baby,” he siad as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me down onto the mattress, “your pussy is magic. It’s got me under a fucking spell.”

I laughed and wiggled my bottom against him. “The things you say.”

He kissed my shoulder. “It’s true.”

“I don’t know about you, but all that
magic
has made me kind of thirsty. Do you have some soda or water in that ice chest?” I turned around in his arms. “I think the first thing you need to buy yourself is a refrigerator. Especially if you’re going to have guests, namely me, over.”

“Already working on that. A guy I work with just bought a new one, and he’s giving me his old mini fridge at a steep discount.” Ledger sat up and combed his hair back with his fingers. “I’ll be back in a second.” He made a pit stop in the bathroom on his way to the ice chest.

I sat up on the mattress and stretched my legs out in front of me. “I think we moved this mattress a few inches from the wall,” I called to him, and smiled thinking about the last few crazy minutes together.

There was no real purpose to it, but my eyes swept down along the floor and I caught a glimpse of a something sticking out from under the mattress. It looked like the corner of a picture. I pulled it out without even thinking.

My pulse was thudding in my ears and my heart raced as I stared down at the tiny picture. My own face stared back at me. It was my senior portrait. My hands shook as I turned it over. Lights spotted my eyes and the room seemed to be spinning. It was the picture I gave James in high school. My picture was in Ledger’s house, under his mattress, and there was no possible reasonable explanation for it being there.

The bathroom door opened, and Ledger walked out. “I also have soda.”

I didn’t answer. My body was frozen in horror. My mind was frantically telling me to get dressed and run like hell, but I couldn’t move. It was like that scream that stuck in your throat, only this time it was my body stuck in time.

I could feel Ledger turn to look at me. I could feel his gaze on me. His footsteps came closer.

“Fuck.” I heard him say it but could barely tell from which direction his voice had come.

The floor creaked under his feet as he came closer. Adrenaline finally pushed me into action. I dropped the picture and lunged for my clothes, without looking at him.

“Jacy, I was going to tell you. It’s not what you think.”

“Oh my god, for your sake, Ledger, I hope it’s not what I’m thinking.” My voice shook, but I was too afraid to cry. I began pulling on my jeans and sweater without worrying about my bra or panties.

“James was my cellmate.”

It felt as if the floor had been ripped out from under my feet, and I swayed forward. Strong arms caught me, arms that I’d felt so safe in. I had been such a fool.

I pushed him away and put up my hand to stop him from moving toward me again. “No, please don’t come near me.”

“Jacy, just let me explain. I know it sounds nuts, but I sat for months and listened to James talk about you. And I fell in love with you. I know that sounds fucking nuts, but it happened. I came to Rockwood Beach to meet you, to make sure you were all right. I wasn’t sure any of this would happen. I wasn’t going to stay. I just needed to know that you were all right.”

My head was spinning, and I felt close to throwing up. I swallowed some of the fear and looked up at him. Everything about his expression seemed genuine, like the man I’d grown to love in the past few weeks. But he was a fake. He wasn’t real. “I
was
all right . . . until now. You were the last fucking thing I needed.”

“Jacy, please. Fuck, fuck, fuck.” They were the last words I heard as I scrambled out of his door.

Chapter 32

-Jacy-

I’d already experienced
the worst life could offer. An abusive husband and the loss of a baby was enough to harden a woman to anything. So having my heart splintered in two by a man who I’d grown to trust and love had sent me into a dark mood, but I could get past it. I’d survived worse. I refused to let it take me back to that place I had once been where I could barely function. I’d started a life, and I’d made a promise to myself never to let a man influence that again.

Now if only I could get past feeling awful and stupid. I felt duped, as if I’d let myself fall for a handsome, charming man even though he was a complete fake. None of it made sense. Everything about Ledger seemed genuine, including his feelings for me. Never in a million years would I have expected him to be hiding such a huge secret.

I heard Rachel’s car out front and opened the door. Monday was her only day off. I hated to take up her spare time, but I badly needed to talk. I was sure I couldn’t possibly make small talk and act the coffee house hostess today and I’d had Henry cover the shop.

Rachel’s face showed the concern that only a true friend could show. She held up a bottle of wine. “Thought we’d need this.” I ran out to hug her before she even reached my stoop.

“I’m such a fool, Rach,” I sobbed. Until now I hadn’t really let loose with tears. I’d been so stunned, so angry about his betrayal that I hadn’t had time to cry. Seeing Rachel had pushed me past my anger to the brokenhearted stage.

“Come on, let’s go inside, and you can tell me everything. You weren’t making much sense on the phone, but I can tell you, I’m shocked as hell.” She led me back into the house and walked straight to the kitchen to get two glasses.

I sat down on the couch. Rex came right over to curl up at my feet. The only truly loyal man I’d ever known was my dog. He always knew when I was upset, and he didn’t ask questions or make up lies or even worse, lecture me about being dramatic. He just stayed close by to let me know he was there.

Rachel worked on the wine cork in the kitchen. “So, Ledger was in the same cell as your ex-husband? Actually, let’s go back. Why was your ex-husband in jail?”

I didn’t respond. It was always such an ugly thing to confess.

Her face blanched as she, seemingly, came to the conclusion it had to do with me. Her green eyes were glass as she looked across the room at me.

“I’m sorry, Rachel, you’re such a good friend. I haven’t been open. My past was so tragic, so nightmarish, it was too hard to talk about.”

“Think I’m going to need this.” Rachel took a few gulps of wine.

My head was aching from everything. I hated going through this right now but Rachel deserved to know. “I will tell you a brief version for now. My head and my heart really can’t take the long, detailed story at the moment.” I put my glass on the coffee table and stepped over Rex on the way to my purse. I reached in and pulled out my wallet and the little picture I kept stashed inside. Then I returned to the couch.

Rachel put down her glass of wine and tentatively took hold of the picture.

Her dark brows knitted together in confusion as she stared at the photo. Then she lifted her face. It seemed, she’d once again puzzled things out.

“Her name was Autumn.” That strangling knot that always followed her name took hold of my throat. “James is in prison for assault . . . on me. He nearly choked me to death in a drunken rage. He was so drunk, he stumbled into her bassinet and . . .” I swallowed hard. “She hit her head. I can’t tell you how often I wished that James had finished his task, that he’d choked the life from me that day.”

Rachel broke down into tears and threw her arms around me. I never needed a reason for a sob session when it came to Autumn. We stayed clutched together, soaking each other with tears until it seemed there were no more to shed.

Rachel got up, walked to the bathroom and came back with a box of tissue. Like a true friend, she looked devastated by what I’d told her.

I grabbed a tissue and wiped my nose. “I’m sure you can see why it’s been so hard for me to tell you. It’s just too overwhelming to talk about.”

“I understand, but still, I wish you’d told me. I kept bugging you about dating and getting on with your life when you had this horrible weight hanging around you.”

I rested back and closed my eyes for a moment to relieve some of the pounding in my head.

“Do you want some aspirin?” Rachel asked.

“No, I already took some. Think I waited too long. You know how it is when you pass the point of no return on a bad headache.”

“A cold compress then.” She hopped up from the couch and returned a minute later with a cold, wet washcloth.

I dropped it over my forehead. “You’re the best.”

She sat sideways next to me and rested her arm along the back of the couch. “So, Ledger was cellmates with James?” She restarted the story. “And he claims that he came here to make sure you were all right. And he claims that he fell in love with you when he listened to the stories your ex-husband told about you? I don’t know if that’s the creepiest thing I’ve ever heard or the most romantic.”

My head popped off the couch, and the wet cloth fell onto my lap. “Romantic?”

“Think about it, Jacy. Most men look at a woman and say nice ass, nice tits. I think I’m in love. Kind of like you when you first saw him. You know, the old double standard thing. The only thing we talked about the first few days of knowing him was how gorgeous he was.”

I sighed. “Despite everything else, he is definitely that.”

“But he had never even seen you and he fell for you. And from stories that your ex-husband told him, no less. I mean, that doesn’t happen often.”

I returned the soothing cloth to my forehead and rested my head back. “If that’s really what happened. It all sounds so implausible. Why should I believe him at all? Who knows what his real motives were in coming here. No, Rachel. I need to stay clear of him.”

“You’re right, Jacy. You can’t trust him. But he lives here on the beach, and you’re all alone.”

I thought back to the past few weeks with Ledger. “I know this sounds strange, but I don’t feel threatened or like I need to worry. I never felt unsafe with Ledger. Granted, when I saw my picture I was terrified. Every horror stalker movie plot dashed through my mind, but I don’t think he would ever harm me. Other than the damage he did to my confidence in learning to love again. That he shredded pretty well. It will be a long time before I consider trusting a man again.”

“Only if you’re sure, Jacy. Otherwise, you and Rex could come and stay with me for awhile. Or maybe a good storm will blow through and take the cottage away with it.” She picked up her wine and leaned back on the couch next to me. “Just remember, I’m here for you.”

“I know, and I love you for it, Rach.”

Chapter 33

-Ledger-

I’d been dragging
through work as if the shovels weighed a hundred pounds, and we were digging through cement. I was sure my grumpy boss had noticed. I knew damn well that I had to push aside my mood and work harder or risk losing the job. But it was tough.

Mike was a welcome sight standing up on the pier. He’d already locked up the bikes for the day. He glanced my direction and pushed his sunglasses up on his head. “There you are. Haven’t seen you in a week. What’s new?” He stopped and watched me walk toward him. “Why are you walking like a kid who just had his bike stolen?”

I reached him.

“Uh oh, something’s up. I knew it. I was feeling it in my bones. What happened?”

“You got a minute? It might take some time to explain.”

“Sure do.” He limped over to the bench and waved his hand over it. “Step into my office.”

I walked over, sat down and stretched my legs out in front of me. The ocean breeze and the site of the seagulls flying over the water always had a healing effect. I was going to miss it.

“I came by to tell you I’m moving inland next week. The rents are cheaper and most of Frank’s work is that direction. My truck is about ready to take its last breath as it is. The commute is only pushing it closer to the grave.”

“Sorry to hear that, Ledger. I really enjoy our talks.”

“Me too, Mike. I badly needed a friend, and you filled that spot perfectly.”

He hesitated, but I knew what question was coming next. “What about Jacy?”

“She’s another reason I’m leaving the beach. I think she’d be more at ease if I wasn’t around.” I smoothed my fingers over my beard. “I wasn’t being completely honest with Jacy. Now she knows everything. It’s over. I never deserved her anyway.”

“Nonsense. What were you keeping from her?”

“I came to Rockwood Beach with a purpose. I wanted to meet the woman I fell in love with while I was in prison.”

Mike tilted his head and looked at me. “I’m not following.”

“Her ex-husband was my cellmate. For two years I listened to stories about his wife.”

“Ah, I see. And you fell in love with the woman in the stories.”

A seagull landed on the railing directly in front of us. Mike reached into his pocket and pulled out a bag of crackers. “This is Jo Jo. He visits me every afternoon for his crackers.” He held out a cracker and the bird plucked it from his fingers. “So you came to Rockwood Beach to see if the woman you’d imagined actually existed. And, I guess it’s easy to assume that the real woman was even better than the one in your mind.” He continued to hand feed the bird.

“You understand me too well. Yes, Jacy is unbelievable. I’ve never met anyone like her. There were times when I’d think James, that’s her ex, was just making her up. I thought there wasn’t any way a woman like her could exist, let alone be married to an asshole like him. But she was real. Very real. And just as amazing as he’d described. For a long time, I listened to his stories with envy, but I never thought about finding her, or meeting her.” I pulled my feet toward me and leaned my arms on my thighs. “But the more I got to know the man, and the more stories he told, I realized she’d been through hell with the guy. My heart broke for her as I learned that not only had he abused her physically, but he’d caused the death of their newborn baby girl.”

Mike’s face whipped toward me. “Jacy had a daughter?”

I nodded. “James was drunk and knocked over the bassinet.”

He flopped back against the bench. “Poor kid. I could tell she’d been through a lot but I had no idea.” The bird, satisfied that the crackers were gone, flew off.

I took a deep breath. “I know it sounds weird, but I came here to meet her, to make sure she was all right. I came to see if she’d learned to smile again or if what James had done had ruined her spirit for good. I came to meet the woman I fell in love with. I hadn’t expected more than that.”

Mike rubbed his chin in thought. “Remember the day we met and you told me I should lead with my time in the war, with the ladies?”

“I remember.”

“You should have led with that. When you met Jacy, and you realized this was going to be more than just meeting the woman you admired all those months, you should have told her. I think it might have saved you the pain that you’re both going through right now.”

“As always, you’re right. But it’s too late now. I’ve lost her.”