HARDER (12 page)

I
was much better
by the time the plane landed. Lucy laughed at me every time I squeaked and screamed along the way.

I could see the benefit of having your own plane; at least I hadn’t had to show my fear to an entire plane full of strangers.

“There’s a car ready for us,” Caleb said as we stepped down from the plane. A driver stood next to a new black sedan and I wondered where the heck he’d managed to find them out here in my small town.

He helped us with our luggage again, ever the gentleman, and we were soon driving towards my childhood home.

“How do you feel?” he asked and took my trembling hand.

“Nervous,” I said. “Scared. What if they’re still mad at me?”

“How could they be? They’ll be too happy seeing you again. And Lucy will distract them with her charms, won’t you Lucy?”

She looked over at us and glanced down where our hands were intertwined. “Are you two boyfriend and girlfriend now?”

I stammered and said, “I think maybe. Possibly. Is that okay with you sweetie?”

“It’s about time,” she grinned and looked out the window watching the landscape slowly change from town buildings to rural farms. I snuck a peek at Caleb and caught his pleased smile.

He squeezed my hand tighter for a moment and in that one small gesture everything felt right in the world.

My nerves were shot when we turned up the driveway to my parent’s place; it hadn’t changed a bit since I’d left years before.

My parents were waiting on the front porch and that’s where the changes were evident. My mom was obviously older but my dad was the one who made me suck in my breath.

He looked very ill; his skin was a grey pallor and his body looked as though it had shrunk in on itself.

I thought it would be awkward, a slow burn back to our previous comfort level with each other.

It wasn’t. I couldn’t contain myself, I ran up the steps two at a time and threw myself into their arms.

I was babbling and crying as loud as my mom and my dad just held me close and petted my hair. I couldn’t hold back the emotions that were bubbling up from in my chest. All the time I’d been apart, all the stress and horror I’d been through with Rolland. It surged forth and I felt free because of it.

“I missed you so much,” Mom said at last and stood back, looking me up and down. “You’re so beautiful. You sure do look like your dad’s mother.”

“Hi,” Lucy said from the bottom of the steps. She was standing awkwardly next to Caleb and her hand was in his.

“You must be Lucy,” Dad said and stepped away from me. He held his arms open and said, “Come here, sweetheart! Come see grandpa!”

“Can I call you Pop Pop? That’s what my friend Sarah calls her grandpa,” she asked shyly and made her way up the steps towards us.

“You can call me anything you want, just don’t call me late for dinner,” Dad grinned as Lucy jumped into his arms.

Mom and I watched as Lucy looked around carefully, taking in all the surroundings. Mom and dad’s place was the same, a white clapboard farmhouse with a welcoming front porch and cute dormer windows on the second floor.

“Is this where you grew up?” she asked me with her eyes wide and full of wonder.

I crouched down and smiled. “It is. And later I’ll show you the creek where I used to catch frogs and the hayloft I used to play in.”

“Cool,” she said and let my mom give her a big hug.

Caleb hung back but I motioned to him to come up. “Mom, Dad, this is Caleb. He’s my friend and the reason we were able to come out this weekend.”

“He’s her
booooyyyfriend
,” Lucy teased and I saw a look of disapproval flicker over my mom’s features.

“Pleased to meet you,” Caleb said as he got to the top of the steps. He held out his hand and shook my dad’s and gave my mom a quick hug.

“How long have you known each other?” Mom asked as we moved inside. Caleb turned back and indicated for the driver to wait. We’d gotten a hotel room in town and had planned on spending the night there instead of the three of us cramped in my old room.

“A couple months I guess,” I replied. “Caleb is wonderful though, not like…
you know
.”

“Whatever happened to
you know
?” Mom asked as I followed her to the kitchen. Dad, Caleb and Lucy were all in the living room getting to know each other.

“I left him a little while back,” I said. “I had to mom, it got…it got really bad.”

She frowned and said, “You know I never liked him, but you didn’t deserve that. Neither of you did.”

“It just took me a while to figure it out I guess.”

“So Caleb. Don’t you think it’s a little too fast?”

“I would normally say yes, but this is impossible to ignore,” I told her. “I know I don’t have much experience with love, but Caleb and I…it just feels right.”

“Is he a good man?”

“He’s the best,” I smiled. “He’s generous and kind and so loving. He’s already fiercely protective of me and Lucy…and she adores him.”

“Does she ever talk about
you know
?”

“Barely. He never seemed to want her anyways. He wanted a boy and she seemed to disappoint him with her existence.”

“Oh dear, well I’m glad you’re out of there now and I really do hope Caleb treats you well.”

“He does,” I said. “Now tell me what’s wrong with Dad.”

Mom hesitated, filled the kettle and put it on the burner and turned it on. She sat down across from me and said, “He’s got lung cancer. From all those years of smoking even when I begged him to stop.”

“Oh god,” I said and put my hand to my mouth in shock. “Is there any hope?”

Mom took a long breath and her lower lip trembled when she said, “No, Brooke. They figure he’s got a year at most, but he’ll get sicker and sicker before the end.”

Tears rolled down my cheeks and I said, “Oh my god, I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for, sweetheart?”

“I’m sorry I missed all this time. I feel like such a fool for choosing that idiot over my own family.”

“The past is the past, what’s important is that you’re here now.”

The kettle started to whistle and Mom got up to make tea. I watched her moving around the kitchen as if performing a ritual. She’d been making tea the same way since I was a child and it struck me then how much I’d missed it.

I hadn’t realized just how much.

“I’m glad I’m back,” I said and smiled through my tears.

“I am too,” she replied and stopped. “We both love you so much, you know that, right? And we love Lucy too. The moment we found out about her, we loved her.”

“I know,” I replied and let her call the others in for a visit.

W
e talked
and ate and sipped tea. After dinner Dad pulled out a bottle of his prize whiskey and shared some with Caleb. I knew that he approved the moment he offered and it did my heart good.

We waited until it was night and I told them we had to get to the hotel.

“But I want to stay here,” Lucy whined and looked at me with her pleading eyes.

“I don’t think they’re ready for that,” I told her.

“Oh we’d love to have her. She can stay in your old room,” Mom said.

“Please mom? I want to stay here.”

I sighed, shook my head in disbelief and said, “Fine. But only if you think you’ll be okay.”

“I’ll be great!” she replied. “Grandpa said I could have ice cream after you left!”

“You weren’t supposed to tell her that,” Dad laughed and looked at me. “Seems she’s got a filter as good as her mother’s.”

“Yeah, I could never keep a secret,” I smiled. “Remember that time you took me with you Christmas shopping for mom? I jumped out of the truck and told her in great detail everything you’d gotten her.”

Dad let loose a big laugh like the one I remembered. He fell into a coughing fit almost immediately though, which might be the reason he hadn’t laughed that much since we’d gotten there.

We politely waited until he was recovered and Caleb and I had to go. I hugged Lucy goodbye and kissed her forehead. “You be good,” I said. “Call me if you need me, we can come back out in a few minutes.”

“I’ll be fine, Mom,” she said and turned to my parents. “Can I have ice cream now?”

I pretended not to hear her and smiled at Mom. Caleb grabbed my hand and we made our way back to the car.

The best hotel in my small hometown wasn’t that fancy but it was cozy and clean and had a huge comfy bed.

We stripped naked and fell into that comfy bed, our arms and legs tangled up in each other, but we didn’t have sex. Caleb knew I was a maelstrom of emotions as I tried to process seeing my parents again and dealing with my Dad’s terminal diagnosis.

“Thank you for this,” I said with my head on his chest. He had his arm wrapped around me protectively and the covers pulled up to keep us toasty warm.

“For what?” he asked.

“For making it right. For giving me time with them. With him.”

I told him about my Dad’s diagnosis and he held me as I cried softly. His body was tense and I wondered if he was annoyed with my tears.

“I’m angry that you were taken from your family,” he said through gritted teeth. “I’m angry that your ex did that to you and I’m angry that I can’t fucking fix it for you.”

“You have though,” I said and ran my hand along his muscular chest, feeling the downy hair tickle my skin. “You’ve done so much more than I could have ever imagined. You’ve made me whole again, Caleb and you have fixed me. You’ve fixed my life and allowed me to become who I was always meant to be.”

He was silent and ran his hand along my back, massaging and comforting me. “Do you mean that?” he asked at last.

“I do with every ounce of my being. My life might not have been that great up to this point, but life with you is completely and utterly perfect. I love you, Caleb.”

“I love you too,” he said with a thick voice. I heard the regret there, regret that he hadn’t been able to protect me. But I also heard a tone I recognized now.

Desire.

I felt it too, his hardness pressing against me, the shaft of his cock demanding my attention. The moment I realized it I melted into a warm pool of need and guided his hand to my soaking pussy.

“You’re so wet for me, Brooke,” he said in my ear as he played me like only Caleb knew how. “I love that your cunt is always so wet and hot for me.”

“I love how hard you get,” I replied in a lazy sensual voice. “I love how your cock fills me and makes me come so hard I forget who I am.”

“As long as you remember my name,” Caleb chuckled and pulled me towards him.

“Always…Caleb…” I sighed and climbed on top of him. I watched as he held my hips and lined himself up with my entrance and I gasped as he thrust upwards and pushed inside.

“Caleb,” I moaned and splayed my fingers across his broad chest. “Caleb…Caleb…” It was like a mantra, a magical word that kept me from flying away on the wings of bliss. An anchor that kept me connected to him through our truest hearts.

We came together, crashing into each other with the force of our love and passion.

Our night was full of love and my heart was full of joy.

“
W
here’s Lucy
?” I asked my mom the next morning as we showed up at their place. Caleb had insisted on stopping in at a little diner and loading up on breakfast for everyone so the driver helped us pack in take away containers with eggs, bacon, pancakes…and a drink tray of fresh black coffee.

He nodded to Caleb and headed back into town. He’d pick us up that evening.

I needed coffee; the way Caleb had kept me up the night before meant I was exhausted. I ached from the things we’d done, but it was the sweetest ache of all. The pain that reminded you of the pleasure that had brought it to your body.

“She’s out back catching frogs with David,” Mom said and started to open the containers. “Oh my, Caleb, this must have cost a fortune. You shouldn’t have.”

“It was the least I could do…Mrs. Avery,” he said with a gorgeous smile.

“Please, call me Michelle,” my mom replied with a blush to her cheeks. It was good to know she wasn’t impervious to Caleb’s charms either.

“Let’s go find Lucy and my brother and I’ll show you the creek I used to rule as a kid,” I told him and grabbed his hand.

“I’ll get breakfast sorted out,” Mom said and looked at me with an approving smile. “Your father is lying down, but he’ll join us once it’s ready. And I assume you got this at the Bluebell Diner?”

“Sure did, ma’am,” Caleb replied.

“Perfect, that’s Howard’s favorite.”

“Lucky guess,” Caleb smiled and my mom blushed again. It was so cute to see her goosey around my handsome boyfriend.

We wandered to the creek hand in hand and soon heard my brother’s voice and Lucy’s giggling responses. It sounded like they’d clicked, but everyone love David. He had an easy charm and a bright smile. He was a bit of a lady’s man around town, but he’d always liked kids too.

“Mommy! Uncle David caught three frogs!” Lucy squealed when she saw us.

“Hey sis,” David said and stood up from beside the babbling water, wiped his hands on his jeans, walked up the bank and picked me up in a bear hug.

“Ugh, you’re killing me,” I protested but he swung me around in response. I laughed at his enthusiasm.

He finally set me down and said, “You’ve aged well.”

“Thanks, asshole,” I chuckled. “You look okay yourself.”

At just over six feet, blonde haired and blue eyed with a lumberjack’s beard, David was definitely keeping himself fit and well styled.

“Hey man,” David said and shook Caleb’s hand.

“Nice to meet ya,” Caleb replied.

“How’d you get up here?” David asked and the moment Caleb told him about the plane, all bets were off. David was a commercial pilot for a cargo company and was crazy about anything that could fly.

The two of them were as thick as thieves as we made our way back to the house. Lucy told me all about her morning in her chirpy little voice, David and Caleb talked flight speed and mileage, and I let the warmth wash over me.

How things had changed in the past month or two, and for once the change was for the better.

T
he weekend came
to a close much too soon and we left Mom and Dad and David with promises to come up and see them soon. There was nothing that would keep me away from my dad now that I knew how ill he really was, so we told them we’d be back in two weeks.

Mom’s beaming grin and Dad’s pleased look made it all worthwhile. David even looked pretty happy to see us again, and Caleb promised him a flight some time soon.

Life resumed to normal, but it wasn’t really normal. Virginia hired a new girl and true to her prediction, Caleb began to tell me to quit my job at the diner. I didn’t like the job, but I didn’t hate it either. It was mine and so it was harder to leave it than I’d anticipated.

I told Virginia I would stick around for a couple weeks and train Maria, the new girl, and then make my decision about leaving or not.

Maria was a sweet girl, young and ambitious and handled the grumpy customers with ease.

Except Vern, Ray’s buddy. A few days after getting back from my weekend with the parents Maria had a run in with him and I had to chase him out of the diner.

“Leave her alone,” I yelled at him from behind the counter. He’d been berating her for forgetting cream with his coffee. She was in tears and babbling apologies that Vern was bluntly ignoring.

“You stay out of it,” Vern hissed.

“Maria, I need you back here,” I said and she scrambled behind the counter gratefully.

“Vern you need to leave,” I said and stomped out there to stand next to his table with my hands on my hips.

“You really think banging the Harder boy means you’re somebody important?” Vern sneered.

“It doesn’t matter who I’m banging, you need to get the fuck out of our diner.”

I thought he was going to fight me for a moment, but he glared at me with his icy dead eyes and stood slowly. He shoved his hat firmly onto his head and stood up, knocking his chair over in the process.

“I won’t be back until you’re fired,” he snarled and stormed out of the diner.

“Wow, that was crazy,” Ray said and his old man crew nodded in agreement. “We’re sorry you had to experience that. Vern used to be much nicer in his youth.”

“Sure, and the moon is made of blue cheese,” I said, my hands still shaking from the confrontation. I laughed to lighten the mood and it worked somewhat. Ray brushed it off and ordered himself and his buddies another round of coffee with sides of apple pie.

Maria served them with a smile on her face. She’d do well; she could get flustered and then fake it for the tips. It was a much-needed skill as a waitress.

We made it through the rest of the week with no more incidents. Caleb was spending more and more time with Lucy and I and we made plans to see some houses for sale on Sunday. Friday night was our first official family game night and Caleb let Lucy kick his butt at Jenga.

It felt so good to do things as a family, and the more time the three of us spent together, the more it felt like we really were a family.

It had been five months since I left Rolland and already his face was fading from my memory and the sound of his harsh voice was in the far reaches of my mind.

We were planning on another family night for Saturday, but Addy called and begged for Lucy to stay the night with her and the girls. Her daughter was Lucy’s best friend now, so I couldn’t say no.

“I’m going to go home and make sure it’s all good with the weekend nurse,” Caleb told me and kissed my cheek. “I’ll be back later, we can go for dinner and maybe dancing, and then back here.” He nibbled the skin along my collarbone with his last sentence and I was instantly a dripping horn dog for him. It was ridiculous how little control I had over my own body.

“Sounds good. I think Addy wants to talk about Gary but I should be home by five,” I told him and stood on my tippy toes to kiss him before he left.

“God, it’s so difficult to leave you,” he murmured into my ear and ran his hands up and down my back, settling on my ass. He gave it a squeeze and I wiggled in excitement.

“The good news is that there’s not much between you and I getting naked later,” I laughed. Just a few hours of visiting and eating and maybe dancing.”

“Fuck the dancing,” he said with a low growl, “let’s grab take away and bring it home. I do want to dance with you, but I want to be naked with my cock buried inside of you.”

“Oh Caleb,” I exhaled and laughed. “What a perfect plan.”

He kissed me again and called out goodbye to Lucy. She yelled it back from her room where she’d been building a kingdom with her dolls.

“Until later, my love,” he said and closed the door behind him.

I laughed when he was gone, my heart was so light and my head was dizzy, I was drunk on the love we shared.

I managed to not mention it at Addy’s later on. Gary was having commitment issues and I felt like it was bad manners to gloat about my own utterly delicious boyfriend, especially given the fact that we were house hunting together in the morning.

I got back to my apartment before five and planned on a quick shower before Caleb stopped by.

I opened the door and was reading a text from Caleb when I walked inside. I flicked on the light and hung my keys from a hook on the wall. I slid the chain lock across and smiled to myself at the anticipated night with Caleb.

“Good evening, dear wife,” Rolland’s deep, velvety voice rolled into my ears and slammed into my brain.

I jerked my head up and found him sitting there at my kitchen table, an evil smug smile on his face.

“How did you find me?” I asked, barely able to get the words out. I looked at the door and decided I had to get out. “How did you get in?”

Rolland anticipated my move and was on his feet in a flash. He had me by my neck and slammed my face against the wall before I could even grab the door handle.

“It’s not so hard to break into a shitty little apartment like this,” he said as he held me standing even though I wanted to sink to the floor helplessly.

My fear made me slow and helpless. I hated how I was around him. There was a part of me that was screaming at me to fight, but my body betrayed me and went limp in his arms.

“You thought you were so smart,” he said with an amused voice. “You thought you could steal my daughter and run from me, dear wife. You were fucking wrong.”

“We’re not married,” I stammered. “I’m not your wife.”

“In my heart you are,” he growled right in my ear. “In my heart I can forgive the betraying bitch that you are and I can still love you.”

“Please, Rolland,” I begged. “Please let me go. Let us go.”

“I’ll never let you go, you’re mine,” he snarled. I felt him flip a knife out of his jacket pocket and hold it to my neck. “I will slit your throat before I let you get away.”

“Lucy doesn’t deserve this,” I pleaded.

“I don’t give a fuck what Lucy
deserves
. She’s my daughter and she needs to get used to that.”

I fell against him and felt like I was about to faint. He was touching me all over with one hand, but holding the knife steady at my throat with the other hand.

I worried that Caleb would come in and get killed, or that Rolland would flip out and stab me. Although as long as Caleb and Lucy were safe, I didn’t care what happened to me.

As if on cue there was a knock at the door.

“Who’s that? Lucy?”

“No she’s at a friend’s place tonight.”

“Then who is it?”

“Just a friend.”

“Brooke, are you here?” Caleb called through my door.

“A friend? Somebody you’re fucking?” Rolland raged in my ear. I could feel his anger radiating off him like waves of heat.

“He’s a friend,” I said stubbornly. I didn’t want to share my love for Caleb with Rolland; I didn’t want him to know how much I’d changed. I had some crazy idea that maybe I could get away if I kept him talking.

“Get rid of him or I’ll stab you and your
friend
,” Rolland hissed in my ear.

Rolland was a huge man, Caleb’s equal pound for pound. He was also full of rage and had fought everyone who’d looked at him funny over the years. Rolland’s years working in construction had left him mean and hard and ready to fight.

I worried for Caleb’s safety if he were caught unawares. I didn’t want Caleb to be distracted by his feeling for me, leaving him open to getting stabbed. I wanted him to be safe. I could figure out a way to escape as long as I knew Caleb was okay.

“I will, just hold on,” I said. Rolland stood right behind me and I opened the door a crack with the chain lock in place.

“Are you gonna to let me in?” Caleb asked with his easy grin.

“I can’t,” I said.

“What’s going on? Are you sick? What do you need?”

“Nothing, I can’t do this Caleb.”

“Brooke, open the door the whole way,” Caleb said, his eyes full of questions.

Rolland jabbed me with the point of the knife and I winced. I knew he wanted me to hurry this along.

“I think we’re moving too fast,” I said and watched Caleb’s confusion change to hurt. “I can’t go with you tonight and I can’t look for a house tomorrow. I’m sorry.”

I slammed the door shut and felt my heart clench with sorrow as I heard Caleb’s footsteps leaving my apartment.

“Now where were we, dear wife? Oh yeah, you lied to me about your little fuck buddy. I need to reclaim what’s mine,” Rolland smirked, looked down at me and drew the point of his knife across my chest. He caught my exposed bra strap with it and jerked upwards, cutting through the material.

My bra snapped loose and my breast broke free.

He palmed it cruelly, leaned in for a kiss, pressed his hardness against me and said, “That’s right, this belongs to me and don’t you ever fucking forget it.”

I gagged as his mouth covered mine and I silently screamed at Caleb to come back.

I had been wrong, Rolland had so much power over me that there was no escaping him.

I struggled limply as he dragged me towards my bedroom and I started to sob quietly as he kicked the door shut.