Hardline (17 page)

  
Even through his jeans I could see that he was painfully hard, fully ready to fuck me on any surface he could find. In this room, that might have been Heath’s desk. That would have been bad. So very good, but very bad.
 

  
I swallowed hard, trying like hell to drive my thoughts back to reality. I let my head fall back. My chest heaved even as I hopelessly tried to tame the rush of sexual tension that flowed through me.
Fuck
. This had to be worse than the seventh circle of hell. He’d taken several steps away, a crushing distance considering how intimately he’d just held me.

  
“Blake, I don’t want to fight. Please, let’s go home and just put this all behind us.”
 

  
After a moment, he turned back to me, sending my heart flying again. But I didn’t see resignation in his eyes. Far from it, he seemed to have gathered his resolve in that short moment as I was putting my brain cells back to work.

  
“I told you I was sorry, and I meant it,” I pleaded.
 

  
“I know you are. But it’s not enough this time. What I’m asking for... this isn’t what I
want
. This is what I
need
. It’s what
we
need.”

  
He held me in his gaze, the tension arcing between us. I opened my mouth, but he spoke before I could.
 

  
“The choice is yours, Erica.”

  
The simple words. The finality in his voice when he said them. The expectation in his eyes as he waited for me to... to what? To submit? To give everything to him? Every last tiny little piece of myself that was ever worth hanging on to, he expected me to deliver along with my love and trust and future.
 

  
I wanted to crack. I wanted to cry, because I knew I couldn’t give him the answer he needed. Could I? I couldn’t imagine it.

  
As I went to war with myself, he closed the distance between us. He kissed me, a quick soft press of his lips to mine. The sweet gesture scattered my thoughts again as he looked deep into my eyes.
 

  
“I love you, Erica. But if you can’t give this to me...” He didn’t finish, only shaking his head, eyes a tornado of emotion that seemed to reflect.
 

  
But... what was he saying? This was it? Before I could question him, he reached for the door and I moved to let him pass. Head down, his hands stuffed back into his pockets, he disappeared down the hallway toward the noise of the party.
 

  
I stood there, paralyzed by what had happened. For all my wanting to talk, I was in disbelief that this is what had been brewing inside Blake all this time.
 

  
All the emotions I’d pushed down to go on about my life the past couple days had crept up to the surface tonight, and I’d passed the point of being able to be here with his family and pretend everything was fine. One look at Blake, knowing our relationship was now very much on the line, would have me in tears.
 

  
Even if sorry was enough, I couldn’t say it any more than I had, and my heart couldn’t take any more of this. I couldn’t take another minute of knowing that everything I’d given him still wasn’t enough.
 

  
Without giving Blake’s mother any indication of how our talk had gone, I slipped through the kitchen past her and into the living room. The friendly chatter quieted when I entered. Ignoring the others, for fear I’d break down if I made eye contact with anyone, especially Blake, I found Alli. She was standing by the couch, drink in hand. I grabbed my purse and gave her a quick hug.
 

  
“I’m sorry,” I whispered and found my way out.

The apartment was dark and quiet. Too quiet.
 

  
I’d returned home alone and tried in vain to sleep. Inside I was battling with the enormity of what Blake had said, what he’d asked of me—the proposal
after
the proposal. Except this one hadn’t come with a glittering band of diamonds, but the very real threat of having nothing at all. I wanted to believe he was bluffing, that I could talk him out of this way of thinking. But what if he wasn’t? What if nothing I could say would sway this position he’d put me in?

  
I’d texted Alli just before midnight, wondering if he’d stayed the night there. No, he’d left. She didn’t know where. Sleep finally took me in the early hours of the morning.
 

  
The morning was muggier than usual after an evening of light showers. I stepped outside and found Clay waiting outside with the Escalade, ready to take me to work. Even when he didn’t drive me on other days, he was always nearby. Evidently Blake wasn’t going to take any more chances with my safety, and I didn’t suppose there was much I could say to change his mind on the matter.
 

  
I relished the cool dry air of the SUV and let him guide us through the city streets. My mind drifted to Blake and where he was spending his nights. Before my imagination began to run wild again, I looked to Clay.
 

  
“Do you know where Blake was last night?”

  
His gaze lifted meeting me in the rearview mirror. “I couldn’t say for sure, Miss Hathaway. He asked me to stay available for you this week. I haven’t heard from him since then.”

  
“Does someone else stay with him?”

  
“No, ma’am. Just you.”
 

  
He wasn’t worried about himself it would seem, but I was. The streets sped by until we slowed in front of the office. I said goodbye to Clay and walked briskly toward the entrance to the building.
 

  
My body desperately needed more coffee to get me through the day, but I’d decided to skip my usual morning routine of stopping at Mocha. I’d been avoiding Simone. I didn’t know how much James had shared with her about Blake confronting him. I was already emotionally maxed out with what had transpired between Blake and me the previous night. If I had to face one more emotionally draining situation, I was going to snap.
 

  
“Erica.”

  
Pausing at the door leading up the office stairwell, I spun to find a familiar face. Dressed professionally in gray slacks and a light V-neck shirt, Isaac Perry stood before me.
Fucking great
.
 

  
“What are you doing here?”
 

  
I could barely mask my annoyance. Of all the days to show up uninvited, he had to pick today. He had the decency to look a little uneasy.
 

  
“I emailed you. I didn’t hear back from you, so I thought I’d swing by since I was in town.”

  
“You could have called and given me a heads up.”

  
“I know, sorry. Was a bit of a last minute decision.”
 

  
He worked his jaw a bit. He didn’t look like the man who’d groped me months ago. He looked like the man with a boyish smile who’d talked me into a private dinner that started it all.
 

  
“I know you have things to do. I won’t take much of your time,” he said.

  
“If Blake knows you came here...” I was thankful for once that I didn’t have to worry about Blake stopping in on me today. At least I didn’t think he would. After last night, I figured we were destined for some more time apart.
 

  
He winced slightly, looking down to his expensive loafers.
 
“I know. I realize he’s not my biggest fan. I was hoping you’d take mercy on me and give me a chance to explain though.”

  
I took a step away from the door, folding my arms around my chest. We were in public, but the last time I’d seen him, he’d had his unwelcome hands all over me. I couldn’t and wouldn’t trust him.
 

  
“I’m not sure there is anything we really need to discuss, Isaac.”

  
He exhaled, looking more human and less tentative than he had before. “I’m sorry, Erica. I really am. Please, let me buy you a coffee. It’s all I’m asking for. Five minutes.”
 

  
His soft blue eyes pleaded with me, and I remembered the Isaac Perry who’d been charming. Also, he was promising coffee.
 

  
“Fine.”
 

  
His eyes lit up, but I was less than excited. I cringed inwardly as I pushed through the doors of Mocha with him behind me, hoping for a miracle that Simone wouldn’t be working this morning. That would have been asking a lot since I’d not once graced the establishment without the vivacious red haired barista greeting me.
 

  
She was helping another customer as we settled into our seats. I sat back, tracing the edge of the table. Isaac was going to press me about the advertising, and I still hadn’t decided what to do. Blake would be furious, of course, but maybe I’d be an idiot for turning down an account like Isaac’s if it meant moving the business forward quicker. With so many emotions tainting the situation, I wasn’t any closer to deciding how to approach his offer.
 

  
Lost momentarily in thought, I almost jumped when Simone greeted us.
 

  
“Hey,” she said with a soft smile. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

  
“Hey, Simone. Um, yeah. Sorry,” I said. Worlds collided, and I couldn’t get into it with her right now. I should probably just tell her what happened with James and be done with it.

  
“The usual?” she asked, jarring my thoughts back to the present.

  
“Sure.”

  
Her gaze slid to Isaac, who seemed to be casually appreciating her figure the way most men did.

  
“Make it two,” he said with a polite smile.
 

  
I sighed, all too ready for my next shot of caffeine. “So…what did you want to talk about?”

  
“I wanted to explain—”

  
“What is there to explain, Isaac? Really. I’m not a fan of men groping me, or touching me in any way without my explicit permission.”
 

  
“I took things too far, I realize that.”

  
“Way too far. And it’s a little hard for me to look past that and jump into wanting to do business with you. Hopefully you can understand that.”

  
His lips went tight. “I do. I made a mistake. My behavior was beyond reproach.”

  
The simple confession settled over me, and just as I considered forgiving him, he spoke again.
 

  
“I shouldn’t have been drinking.”
 

  
I frowned, unwilling to accept his excuse. “Are you kidding? We shared a bottle of wine.”

  
“I was on meds. Meds that severely impair my judgment when mixed with alcohol. You couldn’t have known that, and it’s not an excuse.”

  
“You’re right, it’s not.”

  
He stared at the table.
 

  
“I want you to understand that’s not who I am. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to you, but if I’d been in my right mind, I wouldn’t have approached you that way.”

  
I studied him carefully, wondering where all this was going. His need to seek my forgiveness seemed sudden, and I couldn’t help but be suspicious.
 

  
“What do you want from me, Isaac?”

  
He sighed and straightened. “It’s a small world. We have several mutual connections. I know Blake’s written me off, but it’s likely that our paths will cross again at some point. Despite all this,” he said, gesturing between us, “I was hoping we could work together still. Call it a peace offering.”

  
“A binding financial arrangement is an odd kind of peace offering.”

  
He barely suppressed a smile. “Perhaps, but I figured you’d see more value in that than flowers and chocolates.”

  
“I’m engaged. You’d be wasting your money.”
 

  
His eyes stilled, narrowing slightly. “I didn’t realize that. Congratulations.”
 

  
“Thanks,” I said dryly.

  
“In any case, I do genuinely want to work with you. Before the alcohol got the best of me, I was intrigued with what you proposed. I’d love to give it a try if you think we can get past my epic fuck up.”

  
I shook my head. If he only knew what I’d been through. “I don’t know...”
 

  
He sat back in his seat and lowered his head.
 

  
“It’s okay. I understand, Erica. No hard feelings. I just thought it was worth a try. For what it’s worth, I am exceedingly sorry. I’m appalled at my behavior. The more I thought about it, the more I knew I had to see you and apologize. I hope if we see each other again, and I expect we will, we can at least be cordial.”

  
I sighed, wishing I didn’t feel sorry for him. I tried to read his body language for signs that he was bullshitting me, but he was as disarming as he’d been the day we met.
 

  
“I’ll think about it, okay?”

  
He smiled. “That’s all I’m asking for.” He rose quickly. “Listen, thanks for meeting. I didn’t mean to take you off guard, but some things are better said face to face.”