Harold Pinter Plays 2 (20 page)

JAMES.
That’s good enough for me.

BILL.
They’re deceptive.

JAMES.
Mirrors?

BILL.
Very.

JAMES.
Have you got one?

BILL.
What?

JAMES.
A mirror.

BILL.
There’s one right in front of you.

JAMES.
So there is.

JAMES
looks
into
the
mirror.

Come here. You look in it, too.

BILL
stands
by
him
and
looks.
They
look
together,
and
then
JAMES
goes
to
the
left
of
the
mirror,
and
looks
again
at
BILL’S
reflection.

I don’t think mirrors are deceptive.

JAMES
sits.
BILL
smiles,
and
turns
up
the
radio.
They
sit
listening.
Fade
to
half
light
on
house
and
radio
out.
Fade
up
full
on
flat.
Doorbell.
STELLA
rises
and
goes
off
to
the
front
door.
The
voices
are
heard
off.

STELLA.
Yes?

HARRY.
How do you do. My name’s Harry Kane. I wonder if I might have a word with you. There’s no need to be alarmed. May I come in?

STELLA.
Yes.

HARRY
(
entering
)
.
In here?

STELLA.
Yes.

They
come
into
the
room.

HARRY.
What a beautiful lamp.

STELLA.
What can I do for you?

HARRY.
Do you know Bill Lloyd?

STELLA.
No.

HARRY.
Oh, you don’t?

STELLA.
No.

HARRY.
You don’t know him personally?

STELLA.
I don’t, no.

HARRY.
I found him in a slum, you know, by accident. Just happened to be in a slum one day and there he was. I realized he had talent straight away. I gave him a roof, gave him a job, and he came up trumps. We’ve been close friends for years.

STELLA.
Oh yes?

HARRY.
You know of him, of course, don’t you, by repute? He’s a dress designer.

STELLA.
I know of him.

HARRY.
You’re both dress designers.

STELLA.
Yes.

HARRY.
You don’t belong to the Rags and Bags Club, do you?

STELLA.
The what?

HARRY.
The Rags and Bags Club. I thought I might have seen you down there.

STELLA.
No, I don’t know it.

HARRY.
Shame. You’d like it.

Pause.

Yes.

Pause.

I’ve come about your husband.

STELLA.
Oh?

HARRY.
Yes. He’s been bothering Bill recently, with some fantastic story.

STELLA.
I know about it. I’m very sorry.

HARRY.
Oh, you know? Well, it’s really been rather disturbing. I mean, the boy has his work to get on with. This sort of thing spoils his concentration.

STELLA.
I’m sorry. It’s … very unfortunate.

HARRY.
It is.

Pause.

STELLA.
I can’t understand it … We’ve been happily married for two years, you see. I’ve … been away before, you know … showing dresses, here and there, my husband runs the business. But it’s never happened before.

HARRY.
What hasn’t?

STELLA.
Well, that my husband has suddenly dreamed up such a fantastic story, for no reason at all.

HARRY.
That’s what I said it was. I said it was a fantastic story.

STELLA.
It is.

HARRY.
That’s what I said and that’s what Bill says. We both think it’s a fantastic story.

STELLA.
I mean, Mr. Lloyd was in Leeds, but I hardly saw him, even though we were staying in the same hotel. I never met him or spoke to him … and then my husband suddenly accused me of … it’s really been very distressing.

HARRY.
Yes. What do you think the answer is? Do you think your husband … doesn’t trust you, or something?

STELLA.
Of course he does – he’s just not been very well lately, actually … overwork.

HARRY.
That’s bad. Still, you know what it’s like in our business. Why don’t you take him on a long holiday? South of France.

STELLA.
Yes. I’m very sorry that Mr. Lloyd has had to put up with all this, anyway.

HARRY.
Oh, what a beautiful kitten, what a really beautiful kitten. Kitty, kitty, kitty, what do you call her, come here, kitty, kitty.

HARRY
sits
next
to
STELLA
and
proceeds
to
pet
and
nuzzle
the
kitten.
Fade
flat
to
half
light.
Fade
up
full
on
house.
BILL
and
JAMES
,
with
drinks
in
the
same
position.
Music
comes
up.
BILL
turns
off
the
radio.
Music
out.

BILL.
Hungry?

JAMES.
No.

BILL.
Biscuit?

JAMES.
I’m not hungry.

BILL.
I’ve got some olives.

JAMES.
Really?

BILL.
Like one?

JAMES.
No, thanks.

BILL.
Why not?

JAMES.
I don’t like them.

Pause.

BILL.
Don’t like olives?

Pause.

What on earth have you got against olives?

Pause.

JAMES.
I detest them.

BILL.
Really?

JAMES.
It’s the smell I hate.

Pause.

BILL.
Cheese? I’ve got a splendid cheese knife.

He
picks
up
a
cheese
knife.

Look. Don’t you think it’s splendid?

JAMES.
Is it sharp?

BILL.
Try it. Hold the blade. It won’t cut you. Not if you handle it properly. Not if you grasp it firmly up to the hilt.

JAMES
does
not
touch
the
knife.
BILL
stands
holding
it.
Lights
in
house
remain.
Fade
up
flat
to
full

HARRY
(
standing
).
Well, good-bye, I’m glad we’ve had our little chat.

STELLA.
Yes.

HARRY.
It’s all quite dear now.

STELLA.
I’m glad.

They
move
to
the
door.

HARRY.
Oh, Mr. Lloyd asked me if I would give you his best wishes … and sympathies.

He
goes
out.
She
stands
still.

Good-bye.

The
front
door
closes.
STELLA
lies
on
the
sofa
with
the
kitten.
She
rests
her
heady
is
still.
Fade
flat
to
half
light.

BILL.
What are you frightened of?

JAMES
(
moving
away
).
What’s that?

BILL.
What?

JAMES.
I thought it was thunder.

BILL
(
to
him
).
Why are you frightened of holding this blade?

JAMES.
I’m not frightened. I was just thinking of the thunder last week, when you and my wife were in Leeds.

BILL.
Oh, not again, surely? I thought we’d left all that
behind. Surely we have? You’re not still worried about that, are you?

JAMES.
Oh no. Just nostalgia, that’s all.

BILL.
Surely the wound heals when you know the truth, doesn’t it? I mean, when the truth is verified? I would have thought it did.

JAMES.
Of course.

BILL.
What’s there left to think about? It’s a thing regretted, never to be repeated. No past, no future. Do you see what I mean? You’re a chap who’s been married for two years, aren’t you happily? There’s a bond of iron between you and your wife. It can’t be corroded by a trivial thing like this. I’ve apologized, she’s apologized. Honestly, what more can you want?

Pause.
JAMES
looks
at
him.
BILL
smiles.
HARRY
appears
at
the
front
door,
opens
and
closes
it
quietly,
and
remains
in
the
hall,
unnoticed
by
the
others.

JAMES.
Nothing.

BILL.
Every woman is bound to have an outburst of … wild sensuality at one time or another. That’s the way I look at it, anyway. It’s part of their nature. Even though it may be the kind of sensuality of which you yourself have never been the fortunate recipient. What? (
He
laughs.
) That is a husband’s fate, I suppose. Mind you, I think it’s the system that’s at fault, not you. Perhaps she’ll never need to do it again, who knows.

JAMES
stands,
goes
to
the
fruit
bowl,
and
picks
up
the
fruit
knife.
He
runs
his
finger
along
the
blade.

JAMES.
This is fairly sharp.

BILL.
What do you mean?

JAMES.
Come on.

BILL.
I beg your pardon?

JAMES.
Come on. You’ve got that one. I’ve got this one.

BILL.
What about it?

JAMES.
I get a bit tired of words sometimes, don’t you? Let’s have a game. For fun.

BILL.
What sort of game?

JAMES.
Let’s have a mock duel.

BILL.
I don’t want a mock duel, thank you.

JAMES.
Of course you do. Come on. First one who’s touched is a sissy.

BILL.
This is all rather unsubtle, don’t you think?

JAMES.
Not in the least. Come on, into first position.

BILL.
I thought we were friends.

JAMES.
Of course we’re friends. What on earth’s the matter with you? I’m not going to kill you. It’s just a game, that’s all. We’re playing a game. You’re not windy, are you?

BILL.
I think it’s silly.

JAMES.
I say, you’re a bit of a spoilsport, aren’t you?

BILL.
I’m putting my knife down anyway.

JAMES.
Well, I’ll pick it up.

JAMES
does
so
and
faces
him
with
two
knives.

BILL.
Now you’ve got two.

JAMES.
I’ve got another one in my hip pocket.

Pause.

BILL.
What do you do, swallow them?

JAMES.
Do you?