Having Hope (The Blow Hole Boys Book 4) (10 page)

I reached out and took a strand of her hair between my fingers, and the colors blended together when I rubbed my fingers together. Her playing came to an instant halt, and I smirked down at her when her eyes popped open, and one of her sticks fell to the ground at my feet.

Sweat dotted the top of her lip, and her cheeks were flushed with pleasure. Her expression was one of happiness and release, and I knew playing did that for her. It did the same for me, but I wanted to give her that look. I wanted to do it with my hands and my mouth … my cock.

I moved closer, taking her cheeks in my palms and spending a minute looking at her. I didn’t want it to be like the last time I felt this way. Unlike with my Blackbird, I took the time to remember everything about Hope.

I wanted to look at her face. I wanted to look into her eyes and see her when she came apart. It was going to be amazing. She was going to be amazing. We were going to be a match sexually. But before anything could go down between us, we would have to talk about it. I wanted to make sure she understood it would be a one-time thing.

Before I moved in, I wanted to be sure that this wouldn’t affect the tour.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

I didn’t miss the catch in her voice.

“I don’t know.”

And I didn’t. I didn’t know where this was going or what I was doing. My body was taking control of the situation, and I was letting it happen.

I wasn’t much for kissing. I’d probably kissed a handful of women in my time, but Hope’s pouty lips called to me. She was begging me to kiss her without even opening her mouth.

I leaned down, ready to taste her, but she placed her palm against my chest and stopped me.

“Wait,” she whispered.

I shook my head. “No, I suck at waiting.”

So I kissed her.

Hard.

She tasted like the night—liquor and sweetness with a touch of sin. It was wrong to taste her, but I’d never been one to follow the rules. All the boundaries I’d set forth in regards to Hope were being crossed, but when she began to kiss me back, her tongue moving against mine, I didn’t give a fuck about any limitations. 

Her mouth opened, and I sucked her tongue into my mouth. Her moan vibrated through me and shot straight to my groin.

I felt her pull back, so I pressed for more, capturing her head in my hands and kissing her so deeply that I was losing myself.

My head wasn’t pounding anymore, but my heart was. It was beating so hard I could hear it in my ears. My blood moved through my body like a freight train, the horns whistling loudly in my ears. I hadn’t felt this kind of excitement for a woman in years. Not since my Blackbird.

I couldn’t stop.

I wanted more.

He was kissing me, and I wasn’t stopping him.

Why wasn’t I stopping him?

His fingers melted against my skin, and his lips consumed mine so sweetly that it shocked me. Chet was rough and rowdy … crude in a way that was usually a turn-off. I had no idea he could still be as gentle as he had been five years before.

How was Chet capable of doing this?

How could he turn it off and on so easily? Become two different men within a matter of seconds.

If I hadn’t seen it with my own two eyes, I would have never believed it was possible, but everything he was doing was working, and the more he did everything he was doing, the more I leaned into him for more. 

For five years, I’d sworn off men. I hadn’t touched a man since that night with him. Yet there I was, letting him kiss me and enjoying it so much that I was kissing him back. He tasted familiar and strangely like home. His fingers shifted into my hair and chills spread down my back.

Somehow, he had managed to take control, and I loved every second of it. I had taken out my white flag, and I was ready to start waving it. Giving in wasn’t embarrassing as long as he continued what he was doing.

I was lonely … my body melting with needs I couldn’t fulfill with my fingers and the hard, cold plastic of a vibrator. I was sick of touching myself. I wanted to feel someone else’s hands on me. I needed someone to take my control away and give me a night of pleasure.

So I let go.

I pulled out my flag and waved it, moaning into him with so much relief for my decision. Our kiss was unbroken as I stood and put my arms around his neck. His tall, lean body pressed into mine, and my nipples hardened. As if he knew it felt good against my breasts, he pressed his chest against mine, and I moaned into his mouth with pleasure.

And then his lips were gone from mine, and he was pressing them against the side of my neck.

“Hope,” he whispered against my skin, making my knees wobble.

My fingers went into his hair, skimming over the stubble of the shaved sides and getting stuck in the dark locks at the top. I pulled his head back and brought his lips back to mine, tasting him and losing myself in him so completely that I almost didn’t hear the girls’ laughter headed our way.

Then a door just off the stage slammed, and we broke apart quickly like two teenagers about to be busted. I swiped at my lips and moved away from him just as Lena and the girls broke through the side stage.

It was then that reality came crashing back over me like freezing rain and hail, stinging my skin.

I’d given in to Chet Rhodes.

After everything I’d given him. After everything I’d lost.

I’d given in, and I’d kissed him.

I forgot all about the past and everything I lost when his lips were against mine. The darkest moments of my life, the moments that shaped me into the cold, emotionless woman, were all but swept away. I forgot about all the reasons I’d left him in the middle of the night all those years ago.

How dumb could I be to make the same mistakes all over again?

Hadn’t I learned my lesson?

Consequences.

Consequences.

Consequences.

I couldn’t do this with Chet because I knew if I did, I’d fall for him completely like I had all those years ago. And falling for Chet wasn’t safe since he wasn’t the kind of man who would catch you. I’d end up splattered on the floor in pieces, except this time I wouldn’t have anything to force me to hold myself together. 

If I wanted to survive, I needed to stay away from him.

End of story.

*****

I stayed away from the side stage when the boys played. Instead, I stayed in the back room where the girls got ready for the show. I didn’t want to see him. I didn’t want to even think about him, but there wasn’t much I could do to make that stop.

After leaving him onstage with a raging hard-on, I went back to my room. I lay in bed with my entire body throbbing for relief until finally giving in and letting my fingers shift over the most sensitive parts of my body. Behind my lids, Chet whispered sweet words, his body making me come repeatedly until finally everything on my body was too sensitive to touch.

Staring at my reflection as I lined my eyes and darkened my lids, the mirror in front of me vibrated with the sounds of Blow Hole and Chet’s beating drums. I couldn’t escape him. He was everywhere. The beat of him ticking against my skin at all times.

When it was time to hit the stage, I followed the girls out of the room. Blow Hole passed us, their energy a force to be reckoned with, but I kept my head down and away from where I knew Chet would be.

He was staring at me. I could feel his eyes as if they were touching my skin with a single fingertip. Still, I stared ahead until I was stepping up on the deck and settling behind my drum set. My palms were sweating as I gripped my sticks with white knuckles.

Lena was starting the show, talking to the crowd and getting them rowdy. Then I came in with the bass drum, beating out the steady thrum of the beginning of our introductory song. My arms burned when I held them above my head and beat my sticks together with the beat, and when I brought them down on the snare, my tingling fingers burned.

I played hard, blocking out the events with Chet the night before, blocking out the past completely. I beat my drums with determination, releasing my anger and hurt onto the set. The cymbals clanged louder than usual. The bass drum vibrated harder, and I knew I was going hard against everything that was breaking me apart.

He was there, just off the side of the stage, and his eyes were all over me, pushing me to hit harder and forcing me to keep my eyes on the crowd. I wasn’t playing with the fans. I wasn’t active with the girls like usual. There was just me and my drums, and that was how I played the entire set.

When the show was over, and we were being rushed from the venue to the SUVs that would take us back to our hotel, I looked to the side briefly, and my eyes clashed with Chet’s. His brows pulled down in anger before I quickly diverted my attention to the girls in front of me and pretended I didn’t see him.

I didn’t breathe again until I was back in my hotel room and standing under the hot flow of the shower. The water stung my skin, and the heat fogged up the bathroom making it impossible to see outside the glass shower door.

I brushed my soaking hair and dressed quickly in a T-shirt and jeans knowing the girls would come soon, and we would go out and grab some after show drinks and food. I sat and watched TV until I heard a knock. Clicking the off button, the TV went black as I made my way to the door, ready to leave with the girls.

But when I pulled the door open, the girls weren’t waiting for me on the other side. It was Chet.

The girls of Red Room Sirens had fucked up timing.

Not that I was close to fucking Hope or anything when they walked in, and we broke our kiss, but she felt so good against me and I wasn’t ready to let her go. I didn’t have much choice when the girls came bursting onto the stage, making Hope pull away from me as if I was a bomb ready to explode.

Explode.

Yes.

I was so fucking ready to explode.

My cock was rock hard, throbbing harder than my recent migraines and making me want to yell for them to get the fuck out. But I knew that would never fly with Hope. She wouldn’t want the girls to know about our little kiss and anything that was to come from it. Hell, I didn’t want them to know either. It could be our little secret.

I left the girls on the stage together and went back to my room. It was the last thing I wanted to do, but it was obvious the girls weren’t leaving anytime soon.

I ended up in my king-size bed with
The Big Bang Theory
on the TV and three more pain pills swimming in my stomach. I fell asleep an hour later with no pain and a smile on my face.

*****

The next day, I played better than I had in weeks. There was no headache, and I could really focus on the beats and the crowd. I stripped my clothes from my body and ended up in just my boxers. The heat from playing so hard under the stage lights would make you do that. Plus, I just liked being naked. It felt good.

Hope wasn’t on the side stage like usual, and for some reason, that angered me. I wanted her eyes all over me. I played better—harder—when I knew she was watching.

Why wasn’t she there?

I felt like a wild man, beating my drums so hard, and sometimes standing and moving around the front of my set just because, fuck it, it was fun. I looked over before I took my seat again and smiled when I saw Tiny laughing at my antics.

I only wished that it was Hope laughing at me. I loved to make her laugh, and it felt like a massive accomplishment since she rarely did. Not to mention, her smile lit up the venue better than the thousand dollar lights that shined down on us.

After our set, Finn announced the Sirens and we left the stage. The crowd was rowdy, their screams hitting the stage like a destructive sound wave. It was fucking beautiful, but when Hope and the girls moved to go on the stage, she didn’t even look my way.

Maybe she didn’t see me?

I didn’t go back to my room. Instead, I found myself bouncing on the side stage pumped and ready to play again. It sucked that we didn’t have another show until the next day. Hell, I was even considering going on stage with the girls, taking Hope’s sticks, and going to town with her.

She looked fucking hot in her jeans and a Wonder Woman T-shirt. It wasn’t anything fancy, but she made jeans and a T-shirt look sexy. The way the fabric clung to her sweaty body, showing the dips and curves of her athletic frame.

It wouldn’t be long, and I’d have her beneath me. I’d dive into her depths, plunging hard and fast until she screamed my name and begged me to stop. I could hardly wait.

I nodded my head to the music as they played, my meds giving me a high like I hadn’t felt in weeks. I sang along to the music and used my drumsticks on anything close to me as I beat out the same beats that Hope was playing.

“You’re in a better mood,” Finn said at my side.

I nodded.

“I thought you went back to the hotel to talk to Faith?”

“I did, but she had to go. Baby boy got sick. She’s going to call later.”

“Is he okay?” I looked away from Hope to see a haggard Finn standing at my side.

I knew how hard it was for the boys to be away from their families, but it was starting to show in the lines around their eyes and the sadness in their smiles.

“Yeah, she said it’s a stomach bug.” He sighed and ran his hands through this hair. “Man, I hate being away from them. I hate that she’s there by herself dealing with this shit. I hate to say this, but I’ll be glad when this tour is over.”

I didn’t respond.

I couldn’t say the same, but for reasons I’d never admit aloud. Being done with the tour meant not having a reason to see Hope every day, and as lame as it sounded, I was enjoying her way too much already. I could only imagine how good it would be when we were finally fucking.

I really needed to snap out of it, and something told me the minute I stuck my dick in her, all the crazy thoughts running through my mind would go away. The need to be near her would dissolve, and she’d just be another girl I slept with. But before I could do that, I had to make it clear that it was a one-time thing, and I had to make sure she was okay with that.

When their set was over, they left the stage in a rush. The crew ushered them down the hallway toward the exit where they would get in an SUV and be driven back to the hotel. Again, Hope didn’t look at me. It was more than obvious now that she was ignoring me. I wasn’t about to let that happen. I had plans with her and her body, so I wasn’t about to let her shut me out when I was so close to getting what I wanted.

I went back to my room and showered quickly. I knew the routine. After a show, we all went out for drinks and food. I wanted to be alone with her and talk to her before we went out for the night … before the drinks. I needed her to have a clear head when I finally got her to agree to a night of mind-blowing sex with me.

Once I was dressed, I grabbed my wallet from the dresser, shoved it in my back pocket, and left for Hope’s room. Things had to move quickly since I knew the girls would be tapping on her door soon.

She opened the door with a smile that disappeared the second she saw me on the other side of the door. Her hair was wet, and her clothes were sticking to her moist skin. The smell of her shampoo and soap rushed my senses, making me dizzy to taste her.

“You’re ignoring me,” I said, not beating around the bush since I knew I was limited on time.

“No, I’m not.”

“And now you’re lying.”

She was a shitty liar. I couldn’t blame her really. I was a shitty liar, too … mostly because I never lied. I never really needed to until recently.

“What do you want, Chet?”

She rested the side of her face against the door, keeping it open just enough so that I was able to see the side of her body.

“After yesterday, it should be obvious what I want.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She closed the door a tiny bit more.

She knew exactly what I was talking about. I could see it in her eyes and the way she stiffened at my words. Her actions were pissing me off, but two could play that game.

I pressed on the door, pushing it open and forcing her back until there was enough space for me to step into her room.

“What the fuck, Chet?” she yelled.

I slammed the door behind me and moved into her space.

“Cut the shit. I don’t have time for your bullshit games.”

My words came out a little too brash, but I no longer cared. I knew the girls would be beating on her door in just minutes, and I’d have to hand her over. I wanted to make a few things clear before that happened. 

“I think the only person playing bullshit games is you.”

She backed away from me, but I followed her step for step.

“Are you really going to act like the kiss didn’t happen? Are you going to stand there and act like you didn’t like it?” I moved closer until her back was against the wall opposite us and I was able to press my body to hers. She pushed at my chest as if to shove me away, but I didn’t let her. “You’re acting like your body wasn’t crying for my touch. It was. I heard it screaming for me.”

“Chet,” she whispered as she once again attempted to push me away.

“Your nipples were so hard I could feel them against my chest.” I brushed my thumb across her hardening nipple, and she gasped and grabbed my hand, twisting my fingers. “You want me, Hope, just admit it.”

“S-stop,” she stuttered.

“Stop what? Telling the truth?” I moved against her, forcing her tiny fingers into the skin of my chest. “Just admit it, Hope. You want me. You want to feel me moving inside you. You want me to make you come over and over again until you beg me to stop fucking you.”

I was getting out of hand, and I knew that. What had started out as an innocent flirting session to turn her mind away from trying to ignore me and remember last night’s kiss was slowly turning into something more.

My cock was hard and throbbing—trying to get to her—wanting to feel the inner walls of her sweet pussy clenching and pulling as it tugged an orgasm so strong from my body that even I’d cry out in pleasure.

Fuck.

This wasn’t going as planned. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. I knew the girls would be at her door any minute, and while we were both consenting adults, I knew one hint that anyone outside this room knew what was going on, and Hope would pull away from me. I knew how women worked, and while she was different from the rest, there were still some similarities.

Still, I couldn’t stop myself from rocking my hips into her and enjoying the feel of my cock nestled between her thighs.

“I’m warning you,” she whispered, her voice breaking over her words.

Her cheeks were flushed, her ivory skin transforming to a pinkish tint before my eyes.

I would have never thought it, but I was breaking through Hope’s walls, and it was easy. I thought for sure this would be hard, but after the kiss and seeing the chills on her skin and the blush working its way into her shirt, she could no longer hide her little secret. And that secret was she wanted me.

It was the biggest ego boost ever.

The woman who had made her distaste of me so obvious for months was also attracted to me.

My hips thrust once again, my cock pressing into her, letting her know exactly how turned on I was.

“Chet, please,” she choked.

My eyes moved from hers down to her plump lips. I wanted to taste her again. Once more wouldn’t kill anyone. I wasn’t much for kissing, but I’d kissed her so fucking hard, and I’d liked it. Standing there, looking down at Hope and her sweet mouth, I wanted nothing more than to kiss her—to open her mouth with mine and tongue fuck her senseless.

I moved in, my nose catching the side of her neck as I breathed in her freshly showered scent. “I love how you beg.”

She swallowed hard, and I felt it against my lips.

“Seriously,” she whispered, trying once more to push me away. “Please.”

I looked up, and my eyes caught hers.

“Please what, Hope?” My fingers teased the bottom hem of her shirt and danced over the waist of her jeans.

I wanted her naked in bed.

I wanted her spread open for me. 

I’d pushed myself too far, and I couldn’t go back. I was fucking Hope, and I wasn’t going to stop until she begged me—until I unloaded deep inside her wet cunt.

I reached out for the button of her jeans, and she grabbed my wrist, stopping me. Her nails dug into my skin, stinging with pleasure and making me hope she would dig them into my back until she drew blood.

I swallowed, my throat thick with want. “Let me touch you. I just want to touch you.” I moved in and brushed my lips across the corner of hers. “Please,” I whispered against her lips.

I’d never begged a woman before, but it had been so long, and I wanted her so badly.

Her grip loosened with the word
please
, and I went to work on the button of her jeans, pushing them apart until the zipper moved down on its own. Once I could, I shoved my hand inside her panties until I felt wet heat meet my fingertips.

She was so fucking wet and ready. She wanted me, and I was all about giving the ladies what they wanted.