Haze (21 page)

Gabriel

She looks so small and breakable sitting in the car as she stares out the window. She hasn't said a word to me since we left the restaurant. I haven't spoken either. I'm not sure what words I can say that will wash away the pain she's feeling.

She poured everything out to me and less than an hour later, her heart was there on the floor of that dingy pub with Sage standing over it in victory.

I admit I was fearful when she'd called me earlier and asked me to meet her there. It was so close to Skyn. Much too close for my comfort but then she started telling me about her poetry and what she felt when we kissed and everything fell away.

I was ready to take her home as soon as she returned from the washroom but then Caleb called. One of our designers had quit in a huff after hearing through the grapevine about the Dante Castro debacle. I'd coached Caleb on what to say, word-for-word so he could repair the damage. I didn't want to handle it. I'd pushed it onto him so I could take care of Isla and in my haste to do that I didn't notice Sage's approach. I didn't see her walk up to Isla. By the time I did look up, the damage had been done.

"What did she mean when she said you picked me?" Her eyes stay trained on the window. "Did you pick her too?"

I watch as her hands fist around her bag, pulling it close to her chest, protecting not only its contents, but her heart. "Once, a lifetime ago, I had some encounters with her, yes."

Her shoulders tense. "At the hotel that you took me to?"

"No," I answer quickly, my eyes focused on her hands. "A cheap place by the club."

"She said you saw me at Skyn." Her voice cracks but she restores it in the next breath. "You were there the night I was?"

"Yes," I admit. "I went there that night."

Her gaze falls to her lap. "I talked about the club. You didn't tell me you saw me there."

I ache to reach over to touch her. I can't stand this distance. I can't breathe knowing she's upset with me. "You spoke about the club. You told me it was something you wanted to forget. You were humiliated by the experience. I didn't want to remind you of that."

"That's not fair." Her finger darts into the air before she pulls it back. "You should have told me you were there."

"I should have but I caused that embarrassment. I was the one who requested that you be removed from the club. I actually insisted on it. I wanted to protect you, Isla."

She shakes her head. "That makes no sense, Gabriel. She said you chose me."

I rake both hands through my hair. "I went to the club that night because I wanted to fuck you, Isla. You had been in my office the day before. I'd been up all night aching, wanting. I had to get you out of my mind, so I went there."

Her head shifts slightly, but her eyes don't move from her lap.

"Sage had someone she thought I'd like but I felt nothing when I looked at her. Then I saw you. I didn't know it was you. All I knew was that it was a woman with the most beautiful body I'd ever seen. She moved unlike any woman I'd ever known. The attraction was immediate and intense. It was exactly what I felt when I walked into the boutique and saw you the day before.  Everything around me disappeared at the club that night and then you turned and I saw your face."

"You told them to throw me out?"

"Yes and then I watched them do it," I confess. "I saw what happened. I saw how humiliated you were. I wanted to go to you, hold you. I wanted to take you home."

"That's why you kissed me before my birthday in this car." Her hand slaps the seat of the car. "It's because you knew I liked those things. You knew I wanted to be handcuffed."

Jesus, please. Please don't let this steal her from me.

I move to her then, because I can't stand the pain she's in. I wrap my arm around her. She doesn't resist. "I kissed you because I wanted to. I kissed you because I have never wanted to kiss a woman more."

She turns then, her eyes a stormy shade of blue that pierce into me. "No. You kissed me because you knew I liked to be handcuffed. You saw them on the club floor, didn't you?"

I reach for her chin, cupping it in my palm. I tilt her head back. "If I never cuff you to another bed, or draw a crop across your skin again, it won't change how I feel about you. That is not what this is. I love you, Isla. I love you."

Isla

I rest my head on his shoulder. I'm not mad that he was at the club that night. I was there too, for the exact reason he was. I wanted to fuck someone. I wanted to forget things. We ended up in the same place, under very different circumstances, but it brought us together.

"Would you have told me, Gabriel?" I look up at his face. "Do you think that you would have ever told me?"

"I would have tonight." He traces his finger over my forehead. "I hated that restaurant. It was too close to the club. I knew there was a chance someone would walk in. I also knew the chances were slim that they'd say something but the secret was suffocating me. I intended to tell you."

"Did you see me talking to the dentist?" I drop my gaze back to my lap. "I was talking to a dentist that night."

"You were talking to an asshole," he corrects me. "When I saw you turn and I knew it was you, I almost tore you away from him myself."

His arms tighten around me. "What would have happened to me that night if you weren't there?"

He rests his head against mine, his lips pressing on my forehead. "I think about that sometimes but the thoughts that it provokes terrify me. I'd go to the ends of the earth to protect you."

I know that he would. I saw it tonight, in the way he looked at me. I heard it when he told me he loved me.

"I need you to know that when you left the club that night, I did as well." His voice is deep and gruff. "I went home. I thought about you the entire night."

My heart stutters for a beat. "Have you been back there since?"

I know the answer isn't my business. I shouldn't care if he went back the next night or any night after that. I should only care that he wants to be with me now, yet, I can't help it.

"I don't have any intention of ever going back to the club or that hotel room."

That's an extra assurance I never would have expected. "I'm scared to be too hopeful. I don't want to feel things and then have it taken away."

He tugs me into his lap, just as he did the first night he kissed me here. He cradles my face in his palms, his dark eyes pulling me in. "If this ends, I will break into two pieces. I will fight for this. I will do whatever I need to in order to help you understand that I cherish you, Isla. You tell me what you need, and I will do that for you."
I run my finger along his brows, first the left and then the right. His face is so strong, so masculine. It's beautiful, if a man can be that. "How is it possible that you love me?"

His body shudders as he swallows. "It's impossible for me not to."

"Gabriel." I lean forward to rest my lips over his. "Don't ever stop."
 

***

"I should have been the one spanking you," I say breathlessly into his chest. "I didn't deserve that."

"You did." His voice is deep, husky and still filled with want. "Tonight it was a reward. I saw how wet it made you, Isla. Don't try and argue that point with me or I'll take you back over my knee."

He never technically had me over his knee in the first place.

After we got back to his penthouse, we'd sat in a chair in the living room, kissing and talking for hours. I'd asked more questions about the club and he'd answered each honestly. He helped me understand his drive to go there and the hole it had been filling within him.

I never belonged there. The scope of my experience didn't measure anywhere near his, but that night, when he saw me trying desperately to find a man to help tame my desires, he'd felt an unexplainable pull towards me.

He told me that he tried to fight it for weeks after that, but then on my birthday, when he tasted me for the first time, he lost all sight and memory of anyone else.

I believe him. I trust him. I know it's true because it's what I feel too.

He carried me to his bed after that, undressing me then. He'd licked me, and touched me, and when I tried to control his fingers on my flesh, he'd slapped my ass, over and over, all while he said my name woven into declaration of his love.

I reach down, stroking my hand over his cock. It's so long, thick. It's as beautiful and striking as he is.

"Fuck me, Gabriel," I whisper as I slide my body over his. "I want you to fuck me."

"Jesus, Isla," he hisses, his eyes closing with the words. His hands roam down my back, to my ass.

I move slightly, skimming my breasts over his chest before I kiss him, deeply, passionately.

"There are condoms in the nightstand." His arm circles my waist as he moves to the left.

I fight him, pulling him back, quieting him. "Please, just don't move."

His breathing slows as I inch back to glide my pussy over the entire length of his erection before I reach down to grab the thick root of his cock in my hand.

"Like this." I curve my body back. "Just like this. Just us."

He moans loudly as the first inch of his cock enters me, skin-on-skin, no barriers.

"You're sure." He halts my movements with both of his hands on my hips. "Isla, tell me. Tell me you're sure."

"I love you," I whisper the words into his trembling lips as I lean back, push down, and take every inch of him inside of me.

Six Months Later

Gabriel

"I've never been more proud of you than I am right now, Isla."

She turns on her heel and pulls on my tie, tugging my head down to meet hers before she crushes her beautiful mouth into mine. The kiss is fevered, lush and deep. "It's been so long since you've fucked me. Will you fuck me now?"

"We're in the middle of Central Park." I gesture around us as I glide my hands along her back, over the thin fabric of her dress. "I fucked you last night. What's gotten into you?"

"You." She taps her hand over my chest, smoothing the tie back into place. "Tonight, after work, will you fuck me in the swing?"

The swing had been a gift. I wanted it there, in the extra bedroom waiting for us the day she moved in two months ago. I'd fucked her in it, as she moved back and forth, giving herself wholly to me, as she does each and every time we're together intimately. She's as demanding as me. She loves my body, craves it, and each and every time she touches me with the unmistakable nuance of desire, I give in.

We've experimented more. She's been responsive at times, less at others, and through it all we've found exactly what works for us. Implements complement our intimacy, but they never define it.

"Tonight, after work, I'm going to ask you to marry me, Isla."

Her eyes tear, uncontrollably. Her mouth forms a small 'o.' She doesn't make a sound, She doesn't move at the approaching chime of a bicycle bell or the loud screams of children as they come racing down the paved path towards us. Time stops.

Six hours from now or this minute won't change the course of the rest of our lives. We're not typical, we're far from ordinary. Our love story is unique as the woman standing in front of me.

The same woman who was accepted into Julliard two hours ago because of her immense and undeniable talent. She'll begin her studies in the fall, just as the spring lines at our boutiques are launched.

One day, when we've been married for a time, I'll go to the concert hall with my mother and I'll hear my wife play with the Philharmonic. I know it will happen. I'll have seasons' tickets and I'll enjoy each performance more than the last. I will fulfill each of her dreams and if I can't, I will stand next to her as she does it herself.

I scoop the small jewelry box into my hand as I pull it from the pocket of my jacket. I slide down to one knee.

"Marry me, beautiful, Isla. Let me love you every day for the rest of my life."

She's on her knees in an instant, her blonde hair blowing in the wind, her blue eyes still lost beneath a veil of tears. "Yes, yes."

I slide the pear shaped diamond onto her finger, kissing it after it's settled. "You have changed every part of my life. I wasn't alive until I met you."

"Me too." She nods, her eyes glued to the ring. "You changed everything, Gabriel. You gave me my life back. You took me out of the haze."