He Loves Lucy (6 page)

Gia laughed. “I’ve been meaning to check on you, you know, after the life squad, but I’ve been in Belize for the swimsuit shoot and then I had to go to Los Angeles and then frickin‘
Greenland
. You ever been to

Greenland? It’s nice. So you doing better now, or what?“

Lucy loved Gia’s voice. It made her smile. It was high enough to be painful to the ear, grating yet endearing, especially in person, when it could be seen emerging from those sultry, heavily insured lips.

Perhaps it was cruel that God gave Gia Altamonte that voice to go with that mouth, because an acting career would forever be out of her reach. Then again, maybe that voice was proof that God did have a sense of humor, or that he wanted to give the rest of the normal schlubs on earth some shred of superiority.

“I’m doing great. Haven’t choked since.”

“You like Cuban food, Lucy?”

“Love it.” Lucy had ordered a side salad with oil and vinegar, a side order of black beans, and a grilled mahimahi fillet-not bad for an impromptu lunch out and nothing she’d have to be ashamed to write down in her journal.

“Good, ‘cause I’m gonna have my mama make you something. She’s a big fan of yours.”

Lucy started. “I have a fan?”

“Of course you do!” Gia said, laughing. “My mama and me make two!”

Lucy couldn’t help but be amused at the otherworldly nature of this situation. She had been invited to “do” lunch with a
Sports Illustrated
swimsuit model in the VIP room of a chic restaurant on Miami Beach. Lucy didn’t even know models
ate
lunch. And she’d certainly never been inside a VIP room of anything before, except maybe for the back office at the Order of the Eagles Aerie 982 in Pittsburgh, when her dad once brought her along when he had to pick up a roll of raffle tickets.

“How’s Theo treating you?” Gia asked after she’d ordered coffee for both of them.

“He’s busting my hump, but it’s going well.”

“Mmmm. He’s a cutie, no?”

Lucy shrugged, hoping she hadn’t started sweating at just the mention of his name. “How long have you two been dating?”

Gia tilted back her exquisite chin and howled. “Oh no! No, no, no! He’s just my trainer,
chica
! Besides, I don’t think the man dates much. He used to have a steady, but they broke it off a while back.”

Lucy was stunned. “Theo doesn’t date?”

“Not that I know of.”

“That can’t be right. Everywhere he goes, women remind him what day they’re supposed to go out with him.”

Gia giggled. “Those are his clients, Lucy. He’s bee-yoo-tiful, isn’t he? But he’s a very serious and private kind of guy, and he’s got all these big plans for himself. He’s always saying he doesn’t have time for women in his life right now.”

Lucy sat perfectly still. She didn’t know how many shocks her system could take in one day.

“You wanna do a little shopping, girlie?”

Lucy looked at her watch, intrigued at the idea of shopping with Gia but aware that she had a two o’clock with a potential client she’d been chasing for months.

She asked for a rain check.

Stephan was almost relieved to finally get the call from Murray Goldstein, because the waiting had been making him a crazy man.

Stephan held the phone away from his ear as the old gangster ranted about how the Palm Club was going to ruin him and how Stephan had betrayed a sacred trust when he accepted their business. It was all insane shit from a nutso (but rich and powerful) geezer, and all Stephan could do was mutter “yes” and “I realize that” and let him rage.

Stephan supposed he was responsible for this mess. If old Murray Goldstein decided to tie a cinder block around his neck and throw him in the causeway tomorrow, he had no one to blame but himself.

It started that day a few months back when Lucy Cunningham went out and snagged the Palm Club account on her own. Since he hadn’t been very hands-on around the office, it was a total shocker when she showed up with a deal so full of zeros his head spun. He wanted the money. So shoot him. But he had to find a way to get it without pissing off old Murray, who happened to own a dozen Florida fitness centers in direct competition with the Palm Club.

He owed Murray Goldstein. Five years ago, the old guy put few thousand in small bills in an envelope, and put the envelope into the hands of the district court judge presiding over Stephan’s divorce case. In Murray Goldstein’s world, that meant he owned Stephan. Always would.

“That girl’s got to stay fat!” Murray yelled into the phone.

Stephan winced, trying to remain in control of the situation. “That’s been my plan all along.”

“Your plan? What plan? You couldn’t plan your way out of a toilet stall!”

Stephan didn’t appreciate that comment. It was a good plan, one that could work if Lucy failed to lose the weight.

“She’s never going to do it, Murray. Get real-how many people do you know who actually lose a hundred pounds?”

The earpiece remained blissfully silent.

“I’m setting her up; don’t you get it? I’ve wanted to fire her for months. She’s another Sarah-a woman too aggressive for her own good.” That part was true. Lately Lucy was prancing around the halls of Sherrod amp; Thorns like her name was engraved on the stationery.

“In fact,” he continued. “I’ve been trying to get rid of her lard ass since Sarah died, but she threatened to sue me for discrimination against fatties!” That part was a lie, but it sounded good.

“No shit?”

Stephan smiled, admiring the ease with which he could think on his feet. No wonder all of Miami respected him for his creative genius.

“Absolutely, Murray. I can accomplish two things at once-get a bad hire out of my hair and pay you back for your magnanimous generosity during my time of trial. No pun intended.” Stephan laughed at his little joke.

“But if she stays a blimp, won’t that make you look bad?”

“It’ll make
Lucy
look bad. Then I’ll fire her. And it’ll make Goldstein’s look good because the Palm Club couldn’t follow through on its claim.”

“That’s it? That’s your whole plan?”

“Isn’t it fabulous?” Stephan crossed his fingers, hoping to God this would keep the old crook off his back.

After a moment of quiet, Murray said, “That plan is so fucking stupid it just might work. But Lucy Cunningham has got to stay fat.”

“Blimp City all the way,” Stephan replied.

It was only five thirty in the evening, but Theo had been going nonstop since 4:00 a.m., and it felt like he was right back in the middle of his general surgery rotation in med school-headache, muscle fatigue, overwhelmed brain, and heavy eyelids. He took another swig of coffee and propped his feet up on his back porch railing, checking his watch. Buddy would be home from track practice in a half hour, leaving him just enough time to finish one last question on the histology practice exam.

But his vision started to dull and his shoulders cramped and he couldn’t stop thinking about Lucy.

She was doing great; that wasn’t the problem. They’d had another weigh-in that morning on
WakeUp Miami
and she’d lost six pounds and a few more inches. It was her smiling that bothered him. Her big, gray, sweet doe eyes. He wondered if Ramona had been wise to warn him that Lucy would make too much of the trainer-client intimacy. The truth was, he didn’t want to worry about Lucy’s heart except in the context of her cardiovascular well-being.

Theo stretched his neck and rolled his shoulders, glad for the feel of late-afternoon winter sun on his face. With a deep breath he returned his focus to the practice question, pondering the cartilage matrix found in the cells of connective tissue.

That’s what it was about-
connection
. He really liked Lucy Cunningham, and he wanted to enjoy this year without worrying she’d get too connected to him. All he wanted was to help her, get his money, and get on with his life. Was there anything wrong with that?

Theo tossed the practice test to the outdoor table and wandered into the yard. The grass felt crisp and cool between his bare toes. There was something else about Lucy that bothered him lately-something he couldn’t quite pinpoint. And it was driving him crazy.

He stopped, staring down at his mother’s prized rhododendrons. They needed some serious attention. Theo raised his gaze and looked around him. He blinked. It seemed everything here needed attention-the grass, the fence, the exterior stucco of the house his parents had left him three years ago.

Theo rubbed his chin with his hand, then raked his fingers through his hair. He began to pace the yard, realizing that the grass, the fence, and the house were the least of his worries.

His first priority was and would always be his little brother, who needed a hell of a lot more than just attention. He needed love and guidance and reassurance and security. Then there were Theo’s jobs-the full-time one, the part-time one at the nightclub, and the coaching one. And his aunt and uncle. And somewhere in there were his dreams. His dreams deserved his attention, too.

He thought about Lucy Cunningham’s painfully cute smile, the little frown of concentration she got when he introduced something new to her workout, and suddenly wished he could just get in his car and drive away. He collapsed in the grass instead, laughing, then stretched out on his back and stared at the clouds. He liked Lucy Cunningham. He wanted her to be happy.
So that’s what it was
!

Theo laughed some more, seeing with clarity that he’d put Lucy on that long list of things he couldn’t afford to screw up!

Theo heard the gate latch click and looked up to see Buddy standing over him, peering down through his thick glasses. “Chinese again tonight?”

Theo found enough energy to nod.

Buddy offered his hand and helped pull Theo to his feet. They walked together toward the house. “Is the pretty fat girl from TV wearing you out already?”

Theo threw an arm over Buddy’s shoulder and laughed. The tests might show his sixteen-year-old brother had the mental acuity of a third grader, but he sure didn’t miss much.

Office of Doris Lehman, MSW, PhD “I must tell you, the change in you is already quite apparent. How does it feel?”

Lucy stroked her upper arms and ran her hands down the tops of her thighs. “Bizarre. For a long time I felt like a head walking around in the world, numb from the jaw down, not exactly sure how I moved from point A to point B. Does that make any sense?”

“Yes, it does.”

“Well, I feel my legs now. Sometimes I look down at myself on the elliptical trainer and I go,
Check it out! Those are
my
legs
! Same with my arms and my back and shoulders-it’s like I’m waking up from a long sleep.”

Doris jotted that down. “And how does that feel emotionally?”

“I alternate between euphoria and panic.”

“I see.”

“Panic when people talk about my body like I’m deaf. Euphoria when I see that my clothes hang on me, even after I had them taken in twice.”

“And how are things with Theo?”

Lucy scrunched up her mouth and looked over at the kimono-clad nymphs for courage.

“Fine. Good. Excellent.”

“Have you…?”

“No, I haven’t told him I have a crush on him. It’s too embarrassing. What if I accidentally blurt out the Lorna Doone fantasy? How could I ever rebound from
that
?”

Doris blinked.

“You know, it doesn’t even have to be Lorna Doones. It can be Oreos or Malomars for all I care, and they aren’t even my favorites. The important part is he’s naked and some type of cookie is involved.”

Doris blinked again.

“I’m just pulling your leg, Dr. Lehman.” Lucy gave her an exaggerated grin. “I sometimes worry that my issues aren’t fancy enough for you, you know? I come in here week after week, just a Pittsburgh girl who took off her clothes in front of the wrong man ten years ago,

56 Susan Donovan wiped out a college football dynasty, and enticed a
60 Minutes
camera crew to camp out on her parents’ lawn. I worry that I bore you.“

Doris smiled politely. “What I wouldn’t give for all my patients to be so boring.”

March

“Go away. Leave me alone. You make me mad.”

Theo sat down on the edge of the bed, his coffee balanced in one hand while the other stroked his brother’s wispy blond hair. “You gotta get up, Buddy. I need to take you to Aunt Viv’s so she can drive you to school later.”

“Go away.” Buddy grabbed the edge of the comforter and yanked it up over his head, hitting Theo’s arm, spilling his coffee, and sending Norton the devil cat leaping for safety. Theo checked his watch. This was insanity. Trying to get Buddy out of the house by 4:15 every weekday was getting harder as time went on, not easier.

Not for the first time, Theo wondered if a hundred grand was worth this hassle.

“We gotta rock-‘n’-roll, Buddy. I have a client waiting for me.”

From under the comforter came a muffled, “Another girl who loves you?”

“Get up, Buddy.”

“Do you still miss Jenna? I do. Why did she stop liking you? Because you’re not a doctor anymore?”

Theo was quite used to Buddy’s filterless questions but was still half-asleep and more vulnerable than he would have been at a later hour. He took a sip of coffee, gulping down the sadness that could still pierce him when he thought of Jenna. “Yeah, I still miss her sometimes. Now get up.”

“Buzz off.”

“I don’t appreciate your attitude.”

“Go away.”

Theo checked his watch. He was growing desperate. “Look, Brian. If I get back in med school I’ll really need your cooperation, so let’s practice now. I have to meet my client. Get up.”

“The funny fat lady from TV?”

“Yeah. Her. Now get up.”