Head Above Water (Nightshade MC Book 4) (21 page)

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Drea was waiting for him when he pulled up in front of the building. She opened the door and stepped outside. “Tell me,” she demanded as he dismounted. “Tell me, because whatever it is can't be as bad as what I've been imagining in my head.”

“Easy, hon. Let's go inside.”

“Oh, fuck that. Just tell me and don't tell me to be easy again.”

“After we hung up, I saw Claire. She's pregnant.”

By the way that Drea's eyes widened, Monroe was sure that wasn't one of the worst-case scenarios she'd imagined. “Is it yours?”

“It could be,” he replied.

“Well, isn't that just great?” she said after a moment. “You know, I specifically recall us having a conversation about how you always used a condom, and another where you said you weren't sleeping with anyone else but me. So were they both lies or just the one?”

He reached out to touch her but she shook her head and stepped back. “I don't remember not using a condom. I was drunk. I spent pretty much a solid week drunk before you and I started seeing one another. It was right after Maggie, and I don't remember. Once we were together, I never slept with her again.”

“With her or with anyone?”

“It was only you, hon. Only you.” He tried to touch her again, but she created more distance between them. “Look, I'm not sure what to do here or how to do this, so I figure we can do it like everything else, together.”

“I really don't understand what that means, Monroe,” she said with a sigh. “Why don't you enlighten me how we do this together?”

“I don't fucking know.” Frustration exploded inside of him. “I don't know how to do any of this, but if it is my kid, how do I just turn my back on that?”

“If you're going to start screaming, we need to go inside. I don't want to be that neighbor who airs all her dirty ass laundry on the street.” Drea stalked towards the door, yanked it open and went inside without waiting for him.

Monroe followed her inside, locked the door behind him and went straight to her office. “I'm not screaming,” he said through clenched teeth.

“You're doing a damn good imitation of it.” She moved to sit down on the couch, sighed. “You think that it's your kid, don't you?”

“Yes,” Monroe admitted. “The more that I think about it, the more that I think she might have done it on purpose.”

“Jesus Christ, this just gets better and better.”

Monroe moved and sat down next to her on the couch. He laid his hand on her leg. “I love you, Drea. I don't love her.” He waited for her to say that she loved him back, but she remained quiet. “This is a lot to take in, I'm sorry for that.”

“I know that you are,” she sighed. “I know that you didn't mean for this to happen, but you're right about one thing. It is happening.”

“She's got a doctor's visit tomorrow. She wants me to go, says they can show me how they figure out the date of conception. You should come with me.”

“Because that wouldn't be awkward at all,” she replied sarcastically.

“I'm trying for transparency here, hon. I want you to know that I'm not keeping anything from you.” Monroe squeezed her leg. “You're the one I want to have a future with, Drea.”

“But you're having a baby with her, so it's not just going to be us. It'll never just be us again. Guess I know why she was whispering and giving me looks at the clubhouse earlier.” She let out a bitter laugh. “Guess it's also a good thing that I didn't bounce her head off of the wall.”

“She's not going to whisper or look at you in any way again. I'll make sure of that.”

“Oh, she will. I know her type.” Drea ran her hands over her face, into her hair. “She's going to milk this for all it's worth.”

“Probably,” Monroe admitted. “I'm not going to let her come between us, Drea. It is not an option. I love you. I want a life with you. I want a future with you.”

“I love you too, Monroe.”

“Marry me?”

“What?”

Monroe hadn't realized the words that were going to come out of his mouth until he said them, but it didn't make them less than true. “Marry me, Drea. Be my wife. Be my old lady, be with me for the rest of our lives because what we have is real. I love you.”

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

“I love you too, Monroe, so much that it makes me feel like I'm crazy half the time. I've daydreamed about you asking me to take your brand or marry you.” She let out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob.

“So, why are you saying no if it's what you want, hon?”

“Because it wasn't supposed to be like this, not you asking me only after you drop a bomb in my lap.”

“I'm not asking you because of what's going on with Claire. I'm asking you because it's what I want. I want you.”

“Where's the ring? Or the brand? You don't have either, do you? You pulled a proposal out of thin air because you never thought that I'd say no. You thought I'd say yes, we'd celebrate and somehow all would be right with a world where you knocked up a club whore?”

“I can't change what happened, Drea. I don't know what you want right now.”

“Right now, I want you to go.” She jerked her leg out from underneath his hand.

“I'm not going anywhere, Drea.”

“Don't be an asshole, Monroe. There's nothing wrong with taking a little space, talking more when we both have cooled down.”

“I'm not going to let you push me away, hon. Not happening. You can be pissed at me, that's fine, but I'm not going to walk out.”

“Oh, is that new? I can name three or four arguments that you walked out on, Monroe. Don't give me that shit.” She was on her feet as well, and they were both yelling. If there was anyone else in GP, they were getting quite the show, and Monroe didn't know how to stop it. “I just need some time, don't make it more than that.”

“I just asked you to marry me, you said no and I'm supposed to just accept that and walk away. Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“I was asking, nicely, for some time. Now, I'm telling you to get the fuck out, so no, I'm not fucking kidding you right now. Just go.” She turned her back to him, stared out the small window as if the empty street were the most interesting thing in the world.

Monroe knew that staying would only make the situation worse but worried that leaving would drive a wedge they couldn't get past. Still, there was nothing else that he could do but head out the door. He got on his bike with no real destination in mind.

Chapter Fifteen

Drea replayed the conversation with Monroe in her mind over and over again; each time she did she felt like she was slipping deeper into quicksand. In her gut she'd known that something was wrong the moment he said that they needed to talk, but she'd never even come close to guessing that he was going to be a father.

He'd be a good father, she had no doubt of that, because he was a great man. He wouldn't want to just sit on the sidelines, not when it came to his child. Drea had no doubt that Claire knew that as well and would use it to her advantage. It broke her heart to think that maybe something besides a child would grow between the two of them as they brought new life into the world. And then in the end she would be the one alone.

“Andrea Vargas? The doctor will see you now.” A nurse called from the doorway to the back part of the doctor's office. “Follow me, we're going to need you in a gown. The doctor is running a little behind, so it might be a few minutes.”

The exam room she was led to was stark. Everything was metal, even the exam table. There was a sad stack of magazines on the counter, but she ignored them and changed into the backless gown. She settled down to wait. There was a layer of paper on the table for sanitary purposes; it crinkled every time she moved. The air conditioner was cranked up to high, and after the first few minutes Drea felt herself shiver.

It was thirty more minutes before the doctor arrived. He didn't bother to smile, just sat down on the stool and snapped on a pair of latex gloves. “The chart says that you're here for total STD testing, including HIV?”

“Yes,” Drea confirmed.

“We give away free condoms at the front desk, take as many as you need. We'll have the results of all tests back in about an hour. You can wait, or you can sign a form authorizing the nurses to release the information. Would you like a nurse to be present for the exam?”

“No. I don't think that's necessary.”

“Okay, feet in the stirrups and let's get started.”

By the time that they were done, Drea was sure that her teeth were chattering. The room seemed to have gotten even colder, or maybe she'd just gotten colder since all the tools the doctor used seemed to be made out of ice.

“Everything looks in order. The blood work will tell us the rest.” He snapped off the gloves. “Do you have any questions?”

“No.” Drea didn't have any questions, just a resolve that she wouldn't be coming back to this particular office ever again.

“Have a good day,” he said on his way out of the room.

Drea was freezing, feeling exposed and so tired that she couldn't stop the tears that filled her eyes. She let them fall as she dressed, feeling stupid for not being able to keep herself under control. She took her phone from her jeans, dialed Monroe's number. She needed to hear his voice. Hell, she needed him.

The phone rang five times before she was greeted by his voicemail message. Drea inhaled a shaky breath, hoped that the sobbing sound didn't get caught by the recording as she ended the call. He hadn't said what time he'd be meeting Claire for her appointment, they hadn't gotten that far before the fight, but it was a safe bet that was where he was now. The knowledge only made her cry harder.

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Drea stayed in a ten-foot radius of her phone for the rest of the day, even carrying the damned thing into the bathroom with her when she took her shower, so that she wouldn't miss it when Monroe called back. Except, he didn't call back. Each hour that passed, Drea debated if she should be sad or pissed.

Sure, she'd told him to leave and then to get the fuck out, but she'd never really thought that he would. Anger and frustration had taken over her, with sadness sliding in not far behind. It hadn't been a lie when she told him that she daydreamed about him proposing; it was one of her favorites. Instead of anything remotely romantic or meaningful, he'd popped the question to derail a fight. Still, it had broken her heart to say no, because she knew that he might never ask again. Now he wasn't answering, and she could only wonder if she'd ruined everything.

The doorbell rang and her heart jumped. Monroe had a key to her place. She had one to his. He could have been ringing the doorbell because of the fight, not sure if he was welcome. She all but ran down the stairs, wished she'd chosen something nicer to sleep in than the blue sleep shirt with little sheep all over it.

Drea knew that she'd made a mistake not looking out the peephole when her eyes fell on the unfamiliar man on the other side of the door. He was tall, blonde with striking blue eyes and a wide smile. “Hello, Andrea.”

It was his voice that gave him away. Alton. Alton was on her porch two days before they were due for a sit-down at a local hotel. She wasn't prepared for him, not on her porch, not now when she didn't even have a bra on. “Hello, Alton,” she replied politely.

“Aren't you going to invite me in?”

“I wasn't expecting you for a few days,” Drea stepped back so that he could come in.

“What can I say? I had an opening in my schedule, and I didn't want to wait to have our face to face. I've got to tell you, you really are a remarkable woman. I understand why Tony was so proud of you and so disappointed in Frankie.” Alton walked further into the house, looked around. “This place is pretty nice.”

“You sound surprised.”

“It's Detroit,” he said blandly. “It's a surprising town, though, I found a really great bakery run by this pregnant woman, oh wait... you know her, don't you?”

“You know that I do.” Mentally Drea counted how many steps it would be to the closest gun. She wasn't sure that she could make it without raising alarm in Alton, and she could tell he was carrying from the bulge underneath the jacket it was too warm outside for.

“You've made a nice life for yourself here, Andrea. And you're making a very good living, much better than the peanuts that your little passion project was bringing in.”

“I like my life here, which is the reason I asked for this meeting,” Drea forced herself to focus on the moment.

“I sensed that you had some questions. Let's sit and talk about it. You could offer me a drink.”

“We can sit in the kitchen, that's where the drinks are, anyway.” She headed towards the kitchen with her mind on the knives. She was a fool to bring a knife to a gun fight, but if it was the only option she had, she was going to go down fighting.

He made himself right at home. Drea took the chance to study him. His looks didn't fit the image she'd had of him in her mind; he'd been older and harder looking. The man sitting at her table waiting to be served a drink looked like he'd be at home at a swim-up beach bar or in a boardroom. “I've got beer or tequila.”

“Bring both,” he told her. “Let's see if we can't relax a little.”

“Define relax,” Drea said with a suddenly dry mouth.

“Don't insult me, Andrea. I don't cross my business and my personal life. This right here is business.”

“Is it pointless business? Am I going to just keep making payments until I can't and then once the well is dry you have no use for me?” Drea decided just to lay it all out. “Because if that's the case, you might as well kill me now. I won't live like that.”

Alton remained quiet for a moment, his expression unreadable. “What makes you think that we're not going to honor the terms of our arrangement? Are we not men of our word?”

“You turned down extra payments from me.”

“Because we have an arrangement,” he repeated slowly. “And the terms of that arrangement set out a very clear payment schedule. Honestly, I'm thrilled at how well you're doing. Tony was a mentor to me, so I had a personal interest in Frankie's situation. Never in a million years did I think that you'd actually help him. I was a bit disappointed at first because it meant I couldn't kill that little fucker.”

“What choice did I have with the other lives on the line? The world would be better without Frankie or Matt, but not Sarah and the kids,” Drea replied.

“There's always a choice, Andrea. The choice you made told me everything that I needed to know about you.”

“Bottom line, in ten months when I make my final payment, we're done?”

“The debt will be satisfied, the arrangement will be completed. Part of the reason that I agreed to meet you is so that we could talk about the future. There is another arrangement I think could benefit us both.”

Drea wasn't sure that she could follow anything complex because her mind was too busy rejoicing that there would be a future for her. She would get out from underneath the debt. She would be free to live her life, whatever that life ended up being. “What arrangement would that be?”

“It would be an arrangement between the two of us directly, not tied to my position with the lenders. I think that you're onto something with GP and I want to be a part in that. I'm prepared to offer you a considerable sum for an equal partnership in GP.”

“I've never considered taking a partner for GP,” Drea replied. She had considered selling the business outright, but that thought hadn't been in the front of her mind lately. Lately, she'd just been enjoying the work, even if it was more work than she'd thought originally.

“Will you consider it?”

“Yes,” she replied because there was no real way that she could say no. It would be an insult to not even pretend to consider it. “I'm going to need some time.”

“Take all the time that you need. Now, please sit and have a drink with me now that we've got a better understanding of one another.”

Drea set the beers, a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses on the table. “I could use a drink,” she said with a laugh. “I really saw this conversation going another way.”

“I'm sorry for that,” he replied. “You know, we met once a long time ago. It was shortly after you came to live with Tony.”

“I don't remember,” Drea admitted. “That whole time was a blur. Was it at one of his parties?” Tony had thrown a party at least once every few months, for a holiday or just because. She'd never been around that many people at once. It had been terrifying.

“It was. It was the fourth of July, there were fireworks.”

“I remember the fireworks.” Drea picked up the bottle and poured two healthy servings of tequila. The fireworks had terrified her; she'd never seen or heard of them before.

“You were scared of them,” Alton filled in.

“Everyone laughed at me,” she replied. More memories of the night were coming back, none of Alton yet, but she could see clearly the way that the laughter at her expense had enraged Tony. He'd grabbed the closest laughing man, who quickly stopped laughing. Back then, Drea hadn't understood why everyone else had stopped laughing and most people apologized. Now she knew that it was because of who Tony was.

“Not for long,” he said as he picked up his glass. “To Tony, he always had your back and mine.”

“To Tony.” Drea picked up her glass, clinked it against his. “I really miss him.”

“So do I,” Alton replied. He set his glass down. “I realize that I intruded on your night. I apologize for that but at the same time, I'm very glad we've had this chance.”

“I am too,” Drea told him. It was the truth. She felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

“You know how to reach me.” He rose to his feet.

“I do.”

“Make sure that the next payment isn't late,” he said with a grin.

Once he was gone, Drea locked the front door behind him and set the alarm. Her phone was on the coffee table in the living room; she'd have heard it ring or chime, but she still went over to check it. There hadn't been a call. She dialed his number got no response and sighed.

This wasn't the first time he hadn't answered the phone during their relationship. Things happened. Nightshade happened, and right now they had a lot going on, between the robbery and Ace obviously being set up with a planted gun. It made sense that he wouldn't be answering the phone. She couldn't read too much into it.

The house seemed too quiet around her, so she turned on the television, left on some of the lights she'd have normally turned off and started to clean the house. First on the list was laundry. As she stripped the bed, she found several socks and a tee shirt tangled up in a ball underneath the bed, Monroe still hadn't broken his 'leave it where it landed' habit. Half, or maybe a little more, of the first load was pretty much all his clothes.

Unofficial as it might be, they were living together. She had so many things at his house that sometimes she forgot and found herself searching the closet for a dress that was at his place. They were tied together in so many ways, probably she was just being silly worrying about Claire coming between them.

Drea let her mind wrestle it out as she did a thorough cleaning on the house. By the time that she was done, she was no closer to an answer.

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Drea tapped her fingers against her desk as she listened to the cheerful mechanical voice detail the many amenities of the doctor's office while she waited for the nurse to return to the line with her results. It was the third call she'd made since arriving at GP that morning, the first two times she'd held until the system automatically disconnected her.