Head Over Heels (7 page)

The morning of her funeral, Thane stood off on his own. He didn’t want to be there. Being there meant accepting the fact that Queen Elizabeth Sommerville, matriarch of the family, pillar of the community, and the best chocolate chip cookie maker ever would never talk to him again, would never give him sage advice to follow, would never embarrass him with questions about his personal life. As he felt his throat tightening, he lowered his head and leaned against a back wall.

When he did manage to look up, he caught sight of his brothers, both with their fiancées. Thane remembered Eboni Danielson. He didn’t know she’d cut her hair short. It made him wonder if she’d done it because Gunnar had shaved his head, or had Gunnar copied her?

Eboni gripped Gunnar’s hand and stood by his side. She’d even picked them up from the airport. After giving Thane a polite greeting, Eboni had turned her full attention and love—evident from the way she looked at him—to Gunnar. In turn, his strong, pigheaded, older brother had felt comfortable enough later that day to cry on her shoulder, and she’d wept on his. Gunnar probably thought Thane hadn’t seen him expressing his grief. His tough brother had gone out to the backyard at their mother’s home to let loose his emotions. It didn’t look like Eboni had said anything to him. She held him. Thane had wrapped his arms around his body, craving that same attention.

His gaze fell on Gideon. As usual, Gideon had tried playing peacemaker by offering Thane a bed in his home. Thane had turned down the offer, especially after hearing that Elizabeth had been at his house when she collapsed. He didn’t want to see the place where his mother had been before her final trip to the hospital. It had been hard enough returning to her home. He only did that because Eboni had taken him and Gunnar there. As soon as he could, he called for a cab to take him to a hotel.

At a time like this, he would have thought being around family would help him. Instead, constant reminders of how they became a family hit him over the head. Elizabeth had loved them unconditionally. Thane didn’t know if he could feel love of any kind again.

Thane could barely take in the church surroundings. His gaze returned to Gideon and his significant other. Like Gunnar and Eboni, Gideon and Janelle stayed by each other’s sides. Considering his middle brother walked with a cane thanks to his recent knee surgery, he really needed the support. Janelle kept him propped up especially when Gideon broke down emotionally.

Elizabeth lay in an all-gold casket. She would have wanted it that way. Gunnar asked Thane to pick out her final outfit. Thane had stood in front of his mother’s closet, looking through her extensive wardrobe and not being able to find suitable attire to bury his mother. How the hell could anyone do that?

Thane found a dress that their mother had made. Gunnar said she’d told him she planned on wearing it to an upcoming event. It seemed appropriate she be buried in the final garment she created.

Gideon had outfitted the entire church cathedral area with flowers. Calla lilies and roses surrounded Queen. The whole scene looked good enough for royalty. Janelle had helped him the entire time. She’d arranged a lot of the bouquets and carried many of them in from the delivery vans. Each time Gideon had tried helping her, she stopped him, no doubt afraid he would injure himself even more.

Thane wanted someone like that in his life, someone who would look out for him, someone who would be his partner.

Gideon hobbled over to Thane at the back of the church. Thane wiped his face and kept his arms crossed over his chest.

“How are you holding up, man?” Gideon raised his hand like he wanted to put it on Thane’s shoulder.

No. Thane didn’t want to feel anything from anyone right now. He moved away from his brother. The stabbing pain he felt in his stomach reminded him that this stress didn’t help his condition. As much as he wanted to down some antacid to help calm it, he didn’t need to do anything to alert his brother of his ongoing issue.

“Maintaining. You?” Thane nodded toward Gideon’s leg. “Shouldn’t you sit down?”

Gideon almost smiled. “Now you sound like Mom.”

Thane swiped the back of his thumb under his nose. If he continued talking to Gideon, he wouldn’t be able to stop the tears that threatened to erupt.

“Before they open the doors to let people in, the funeral director wanted to know if you want some time alone with Mom.” Gideon nodded toward the front of the chapel.

Thane looked toward the area. It seemed so far away from them, like her body sat in another building, like it would take him an hour to walk to her and see her face one last time.

Thane hadn’t shared with his brothers that last night he’d spent some time with their mother at the funeral home, talking to her still, lifeless body like she could hear him and respond. He talked to her like old times. He missed hearing her quick, witty responses, and her touching his hand.

During his visit, Thane noticed how the funeral home managed to give Elizabeth her trademark smile. He’d made sure to perfectly press the outfit he brought for her. He’d written a letter and managed to tuck it into her pocket.

Thane had already said all he wanted to say to the woman who raised him. He shook his head. “No.”

Gideon furrowed his eyebrows for a moment. “Are you sure? Once people come in, you won’t be able to—”

“I said I’m fine.” He started to walk away but stopped. He turned back to Gideon. “Sorry for cutting you off.”

Elizabeth would have appreciated that.

As Gideon had warned, the doors opened and a flood of mourners arrived. Thane remembered many of them from his childhood, from seeing them around his mother’s various businesses and from church. He wondered if some had arrived only to see the three star athletes, if they hadn’t come to pay their respects to a woman who could do no wrong. They wanted to see the MMA fighter, the NFL quarterback, and the MLB pitcher in tears.

Fortunately, this mega church had a grieving area for the family that also had a sheer curtain to obscure their appearances. Thane decided to make his way to that area and sit in the second row in the corner.

“No, you’re here.” Gunnar pointed to a chair toward the end of the front row. “Immediate family up front.”

Thane took a deep breath and sauntered to the front row. He sat down but kept his gaze forward, staring at the casket, noting how the ornate decorations glittered under the overhead lighting.

Gunnar stood in front of Thane. In his black suit and tie, he looked like the grim reaper himself.

“Do you have your speech?” Gunnar patted his pocket.

Thane shook his head. “I can’t. I can’t talk about Mom.” Besides, the speech he’d written now rested in their mother’s pocket.

“We all said we would get up and say something about her.” Gunnar’s voice started to rise.

The volume got Thane’s attention. He peered up and planted his feet to get ready to stand and square off against the giant. Today, no one could hurt him.

“Gunny, please.” Eboni held Gunnar’s hand. “Some people can’t get up and talk about a loved one in this kind of setting. I don’t know if I could do it. Give your brother a break.”

Gunnar glared at Thane for a moment before regarding Eboni. He gave her a solid nod before going back to their seats. Like the gentlemen Elizabeth had raised them to be, both Gunnar and Gideon helped their ladies take a seat before occupying chairs next to them.

Thane felt a brush against his shoulder. He turned to see an older African-American gentleman he’d never seen before. The man took a seat next to him. With his straight posture and expensive-looking suit, he looked like a businessman, or worse, a politician. He wore a black suit with a complementing black-and-red tie. Elizabeth would have appreciated the colors, but Thane didn’t like this stranger sitting in the family area.

“Sorry, family only here.” Thane pointed to the general seating area in the church.

Gideon leaned forward. “Thane, that’s Fred.”

Thane stared at his brother for a moment while he let the name tumble around in his head. The confusion on his face must have been evident.

Gideon quickly said, “Fred and Mom were dating.”

Thane turned to the gentleman, who now had tears in his red-rimmed eyes.

“I wanted to ask her to marry me after she got all better.” He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his eyes underneath his glasses. “Son, if you love someone, don’t wait to tell them.”

“I know.” Thane also wanted to tell this stranger not to call him
son
.

Only one person had the right to do that, and she could no longer speak.

It didn’t take long for the church to fill up. So many people arrived that they had an overflow section in the recreation building behind the church where they had a live video feed projected on a large screen.

Thane took a deep breath. When he caught the scent of the flowers, it almost broke him. It reminded him so much of Elizabeth that the tears he’d been struggling to hold back began to cascade down his face. He turned his attention away from his brothers. When he did, Fred offered him another handkerchief. Thane shook his head and turned from him. Keeping his gaze directed to the floor would be the safest bet.

The funeral started with their reverend giving a lovely eulogy about Elizabeth. Thane tried tuning the man out, but as usual, his booming voice kept Thane interested in what he’d said.

“We will truly miss this remarkable woman,” the reverend said. “Now we’ll have her sons get up and speak about the woman they knew.”

Gideon stood first. Janelle kissed the back of his hand before he could make his way up to the podium to speak.

Thane kept his stare on the blood-red carpeting. He tossed the idea around in his head of the type of person who would approve of such a color being used in a church. Then Gideon spoke.

“I met Elizabeth Sommerville, my mother, when I was about six or seven. My brothers and I had it rough before we were blessed to be adopted by this incredible woman.” Gideon sniffed and paused a moment before he continued. “The very first thing I recalled about her was that she was so incredibly beautiful. You have to remember, I was a little kid. I had never seen anyone, man or woman, wearing as many pieces of jewelry as Queen Elizabeth.”

A ripple of laughter sounded through the chapel.

That got Gideon to smile. “Her face was all done up. Her lipstick was put on perfectly. I think I even asked her how she was able to paint in the lines because I couldn’t.”

The audience erupted in laughter. Thane couldn’t muster up the gesture.

“As usual, my mom put her hand to my cheek.” Gideon put his hand against his face as though feeling her now. “And she leaned down and she said, ‘Dear, I practiced a lot to get this good.’” Gideon did laugh this time. “She was the one who put a football in my hand and allowed me to follow my passion, of course, while making sure I got my education. She also made me work in her flower shop.” He shook his head. “At first, I wasn’t too thrilled about that. What teenage boy wants to spend evenings and weekends sweeping up leaves and stems? As always, Elizabeth made me appreciate what plants and flowers had to offer. She showed me the life and beauty in each one.” He smiled. “It also helped that teenage girls like flowers and would come in to the shop often.”

Laughter filled the entire church.

He glanced off to the side. “Now I have my own beautiful rose in my life thanks to Elizabeth Sommerville.” He winked at Janelle. “My mother was so strong and so smart. She gave us all a great life while keeping us grounded. I’m going to miss this wonderful woman.” He gazed down at the now closed casket. “I love you, Mom. I know you’ll make Heaven beautiful.” He blew her a kiss and resumed his seat.

As soon as Gideon sat, he broke down, crying harder than Thane had ever seen him. Thane started to reach out for Gideon’s hand when Janelle seized them both.

Gideon had someone. Gunnar had someone. As usual, Thane would be left out.

Gunnar stood and stomped up to the podium. He took a deep breath before he spoke. “Excuse my language, but I was truly a bastard when my mother found me.”

A slight gasp sounded from the audience. Thane stared at Gunnar to hear the rest of his speech. So far, Thane had no reason to disagree with him.

“I had no idea what good love was. My birth mother treated us so poorly. The foster families we went to were no better.” Gunnar shook his head. “By the time we got to Elizabeth Sommerville, I didn’t think of mothers as protectors. I never thought they could be nurturing. I put Elizabeth through her paces.” He turned to the reverend who sat behind him. “He can tell you. I was not a good kid, even in church.”

The reverend chuckled and nodded in agreement.

Gunnar continued. “One day, it all changed. Queen Elizabeth did something that no one else had ever done for me. She showed me she cared about me. She didn’t have to say it. She loved me even when I didn’t love myself. That’s what I’ll always remember about my mother. She had such a big heart. She regarded us all as her own. She disciplined us when we needed it, but she always made us feel cherished.” He pointed to Gideon. “Just like she made Gid work in her flower shop, she made me work in her hair salon.” He shook his head. “Can you imagine the looks women gave me, a little punk, asking them if I could wash and style their hair? The ladies were not having it. My mother allowed me to style her hair first, in the privacy of our home, mind you. Once I did that and she was satisfied with the work, she told her customers how great I was. It was her endorsement that got the clients to trust me.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “I can’t forget how anxious she looked when I told her I was going to go off and fight for a living. She didn’t like the idea, but she knew it was something I had to do.” He held up one finger. “She made me promise one thing before I left. She didn’t want me to hurt anyone’s feelings.”

The mourners erupted in laughter.

Thane stared at Gunnar and wanted to blurt out that he had failed in his promise with one person.

Gunnar paused and looked lovingly at Eboni. “She would have been a wonderful grandmother.”