Chase has no idea how many laws Kas has bent this evening, but he’s pretty sure it’s a lot. He can’t blame him, though, he would do exactly the same thing to protect Raina. His worry deepens as scenarios of what her father may have done to her play unwanted in his mind. The thought of him hurting her and unraveling the progress she has made sickens and infuriates him. He jumps into the welcoming heat of his Lexus and gazes steadily at Kas, his own determination fueling his resolve, “We will find her, bro, now, tell me everything that happened tonight.”
Kas divulges all of the sordid details of earlier in the evening as they head to his home to pack an overnight bag and his passport before heading to Chase’s condo to do the same. He is bone tired, and his emotions are bitterly raw as he describes how Raina had turned down his marriage proposal, saying that she isn’t good for him. Anger soars through him as he recounts how Seth showed up, telling him how he had led Raina’s father straight to her. His voice is hoarse as he tells Chase how she had finally cried after so many years, only to run away almost as soon as the tears started to fall.
Hearing that Raina cried is a major breakthrough, but Chase knows that this also means she will be in an extremely vulnerable state. He chooses his words carefully, not wanting to upset Kas any more than he already is, “You do understand that Seth is not to blame? He had no way of knowing that Raina’s father has abused her.”
Kas’ strong, angular jaw twitches and tightens. He knows Chase is right, but it doesn’t change the fact that Seth’s ignorance probably caused Raina to be harmed somehow.
“I realize that,” he replies bitterly, a shred of regret seeping in when he recalls his harsh treatment of Seth earlier. He pushes the thought out of his head, he has enough turbulent emotions swirling around in there, he can’t add guilt to the toxic mix right now. He decides to call Dexter again, needing him to track down her father, the one who
is
to blame for everything that has taken place tonight.
“Pierce, you better tell me what is going on!” Dexter’s deep voice booms. “I was reading the cryptic e-mail Raina sent when I got a phone call from airport security, pitching a fit about one of my agents causing a ruckus.”
“Raina e-mailed you? What did she say?” Kas doesn’t even try to keep his desperation out of his voice.
“Not much, she kept it short and sweet, informing me that she is unable to continue with her position and how sorry she is about no notice, but giving me no reason as to why. She said that someone named Seth is qualified to take over until I can find a replacement.” Dexter pauses, not knowing what is going on between Kas and Raina, but he knows that Kas is his best agent and realizes that something more than just a disagreement, or whatever else prompted his actions, must have occurred for him to act so out of character, “Is Raina alright?”
Kas tries to process the information his boss just told him. His battered heart sinks from the realization that it doesn’t sound like Raina is planning on returning any time soon.
“Pierce!” Dexter’s sharp voice drags Kas away from his thoughts.
“Sir, I don’t know—I don’t know if she’s alright. I need you to do me a favor. I need you to find William Waterford.”
“The lawyer? Hell, son, what kind of trouble are you in to need a pit bull of a lawyer like him?”
“William Waterford is Raina’s father. I think he has hurt her tonight.” Kas gives Dexter enough details and history for him to realize the seriousness of the situation.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Pierce, I would have dragged his ass through the mud if I knew?”
“I plan on doing more than that when I get back. I need to take some time off.”
“Back from where? Raina’s not with him is she?”
The concern in Dexter’s voice touches Kas. He knows how much he cares about her, how much his whole team cares about her, “No, she’s not with him . . . she’s on her way to Italy.”
“Italy? That girl never does do anything halfway does she? You haven’t taken a vacation until that Sutton boy put her in the hospital, not that I would classify that as a vacation, and you haven’t taken one since. You take time off. Go get your girl, Pierce. Bring her back, I will find out if her father is still here. You tell her that he won’t touch her ever again.”
“Yes, sir . . . Dex, thanks.” Kas lays his head against the seat and closes his weary eyes, trying to savor the small feeling of relief from Dexter tracking down her father. He knows that if Waterford is still in D.C. Dexter will find out if he has hurt Raina.
It takes sheer determination for Raina to pull herself together enough to stop the monsoon spilling from her eyes. Shame would fill her every pore at her pathetic behavior if she weren’t too emotionally broken to care. More e-mails from Kas tempt her weakened state, and she quickly deletes them, knowing that she will break down and read them, sending her straight back into his arms if she doesn’t remove their existence.
She tries to avoid eye contact with the sympathetic flight attendant, with everyone actually, not wanting to succumb to a mess of waterworks again. Closing her eyes, she prays for the remainder of the flight to be quick and merciful. She wishes she had her iPod to distract her, but then is grateful she doesn’t, knowing that every song will only remind her of the man she is trying so hard to forget.
Stinging,
hot
pain
burns through her abdomen and side as Raina stands, carefully stretching her muscles after the excruciating flight. She exits the plane and heads straight to customs, thankful she still carries her passport in her purse due to her using it as a form of identification before Kas helped her get her license. She should be ecstatic to finally get the stamp from Italy on its pages, but, instead of excitement, a heartbreaking emptiness settles inside of her as the customs agent checks her features to the photo, kindly not saying anything about her swollen eyes and red nose, before hastily stamping one of the middle pages and thrusting it back to her, his eyes averting to the next person in line.
She proceeds through the first part of the crowded airport in Pisa rather quickly due to her not having to collect any luggage. Trying her best to ignore the laughter and happy tears of passengers reuniting with loved ones, she slips her cell phone from her purse, double checking the reservations she made in-flight. She was very relieved when she was able to rent a villa at the last minute, desperately needing to be alone. The one bedroom villa looks beautiful and inviting, a place she would thoroughly enjoy under different circumstances. Her heart aches as she thinks of how it was vacant, everyone wants family size villas during the holidays.
Kas makes his way through the narrow aisle, not an easy task for his 6'1"muscular build. Finally reaching his seat in coach, he stows his carry on in the crowded compartment before dropping exhaustedly into his seat. He glances at Chase, who is four rows back due to it being impossible finding adjoining seats on the packed plane at the peak of the holiday season. He is not looking forward to the long flight, knowing the hours will drag by torturously.
Kas checks his cell phone before they demand they be turned off, and his jaw tightens as he sees that Raina still hasn’t responded to any of his e-mails or text messages. He remembers that he put her iPod in his pocket when Seth had given it to him, dropping the bomb that her father found her. Murderous thoughts run through his mind. He will make Waterford pay if he has laid one finger on Raina, hurting her again. His mind flashes to the images of her covered in the welts and bruises from her father’s belt and fist, and he squeezes the arm of the chair in his vice-like grip, wishing it were Waterford’s neck.
Desperately needing to feel close to Raina, he slips the iPod out of his pocket, fitting the ear pieces securely as he turns on the music. His jaw sets in fierce determination as the songs that remind him so much of her start to play. Closing his eyes, he allows bittersweet memories to flood his mind.
A smile manages to cross his lips when the song she was singing the night he had walked in on her starts to play. Images of her singing and dancing, with her hot, seductive body swaying mercilessly to the music that only she could hear, overwhelm him. His lower body begins to ache from the erotic memory of how she had unwittingly given him a very sexy private show. His bulging ache is a merciful distraction to the pain slicing through his heart. As he listens to the music, thinking of the woman he loves more than he ever knew he could possibly love anyone, he vows that he will find her and fix everything somehow. He
will
bring her home, even if he has to toss her stubborn derriere over his shoulder to do so.
The Pisa International Airport is difficult to navigate as Raina continues forward, trying to find the exit. The crowd of people rushing around, hurrying to get to their destination, and the heavily armed guards walking around everywhere, leaves Raina feeling a little nervous. Even with her ability to understand Italian fluently, it’s surreal to be surrounded by people who are speaking their dialect in their native tongue.
The panicked feeling of regret threatens to overtake her as she stares at all of the people, some brushing roughly up against her as they pass by. She forces the feeling away, refusing to feel panic or regret, knowing her rash decision is best if she wants to stay far away from Kas. She bites her lip as memories of him and their time together spin painfully through her head. She doesn’t
want
to stay away from Kas. What she
wants
is to be buried deep inside his protective, loving arms right now, but what she wants has nothing to do with why she is here, over nine hours away, in a completely different country. No, what she wants is definitely not what she is doing right now.
“
Ti
possa
aitare
?”
The words from a passing guard startle her. She releases her lip from her punishing teeth as she looks into the kind eyes of the large guard asking her if he can help. His benevolent eyes look so out of place with his armored exterior. She smiles shyly, “
Dov΄
e
l’autobus
?”
“
Grazie
,” Raina gives the guard an appreciative smile for his directions to the buses, desperate to get to the villa so she can suffer alone, her unabashed tears finally free to fall without embarrassment.
The bus is too large for the narrow Italian roads, and Raina closes her eyes, not wanting to witness the harrowing drive to Chianti. The six hour time difference is wreaking havoc on her senses. She is beyond exhausted, but doesn’t feel comfortable sleeping alone on a bus full of strangers. Her thoughts unscrupulously turn to Kas again, and she grits her teeth, furious with herself for not being able to restore the protective barrier that was once so infrangibly built inside of her.
The trip seems to pass in slow motion as she absently views the foreign scenery. When the bus finally pulls into the station, she drags her spent, battered body down the aisle. Pulling the villa address from the e-mail on her cell phone as she hails a cab, she shivers from the cold in only her thin button up shirt. She refuses to think of last night and the reason why she is outside in December with no jacket, completely alone in a foreign country, with a burning pain in her abdomen and side that is pestering the heck out of her every time she moves.
A cab pulls up next to her, and she gingerly climbs inside. Once the address is given, the driver pulls onto the road, mimicking the erratic driving style of the bus driver. Her empty stomach growls and rolls in protest as the driver speeds through the curves. She grabs her side, a gasp of pain escapes before she can suppress the ragged breath.
“
Va
tutto
bene
?” The concerned brown eyes of the driver reflect in the rearview mirror, his driving slowing only a fraction as he gazes questioningly at her.
Raina forces a smile and flat-out lies, telling him that she is fine.
A half-hour later, the cab pulls into the cobblestone drive of the beautiful, traditional stone villa that has a magnificent view of the Chianti countryside with a picturesque vineyard framing the scenery in the background. The driver gets out and opens her door, giving her a look that too closely resembles pity, and Raina wants the ground to open up and swallow her.
“
Quanto
Le
devo
?” she quickly asks, removing the euros from her purse.
The driver gives his head a little shake and takes her hand warmly in his, his gaze imploring, “
Trascorre
il
Natale
con
la
tua
famiglia
.”
Raina blinks back tears, wishing she had a family to spend Christmas with. She knows she has Judge, and her heart aches knowing she could’ve had Kas, if only she had accepted his proposal. A tear slides down her cheek, and she wipes it away with her cold fingers before squeezing the driver’s hand, placing euros inside it, wishing him a Merry Christmas.
She turns to go, but the driver slips his jacket off and puts it over her shivering shoulders, looking at her with a mixture of compassion and concern, “
Buon
Natale,
Signorina
.” The driver gives her one last look before motioning for her to go inside to get out of the cold.
Raina forces herself not to cry as she smiles and nods her head, rushing towards the villa so the driver will be spared seeing the tears she can’t seem to control from falling anymore. She blinks back the imminent waterworks as she walks towards the villa’s owner, waiting for her next to the fireplace roaring warmly on the patio.
“
Benvenuti
.”
Raina fixes a smile on her face as she shakes the outstretched hand, managing to maintain respectful eye contact with the owner who introduces himself as Signore Mancini. He is dressed smartly and warmly in his nice wool overcoat and black slacks. She self-consciously smoothes her shirt, knowing she is dressed inappropriately for the culture and the importance of first impressions. Pulling the driver’s jacket tighter around her shoulders, she wishes she had gotten his name so she could properly thank him for his kindness. She introduces herself, hoping to get the formalities over with so she can finally be alone.
Raina relaxes a little as Mr. Mancini seems to graciously overlook her appearance and opens the beautifully ornate dark wooden door to the villa, ushering her inside, out of the cold. Raina gazes upon the charming villa with its warm interior, creamy yellow stucco walls, and wood high beam ceiling. She notices that the cabinets are crafted from the same dark wood. There is a large welcoming Tuscan stone fireplace on the far wall of the living room, adding to the charm. Mr. Mancini leads her up the curved staircase to a bedroom loft with French doors leading to a balcony that overlooks the side of the terra cotta patio surrounded by Mediterranean trees and shrubs. “
E’
bellissimo
.”
“
Grazie
,” he replies, and Raina can tell he is wanting to ask her more, probably why she is there, alone, five days before Christmas, looking like death warmed over, but he respectfully refrains and hands her the key.
After the accommodations are confirmed for the week, with the possibility of staying longer if she so requests, Mr. Mancini wishes her a Merry Christmas, buttons up his fashionable wool coat and leaves. Raina stares at the key in her hand, wishing it could give her some form of supernatural ability to go back in time and change the undesirable parts of her life so she could be standing in the beautiful villa with Kas, instead of being miserably alone.
She pulls the toothbrush that she purchased at the airport out of her purse and brushes her teeth. She knows she should give in to her body’s pleading for sleep, but when she lays down, thoughts of Kas swirl through her head, and the tears start to fall again. The kindness in his chocolate eyes, the warmth in his strong hands, and the feel of his toned, masculine body next to hers, drive her to the edge, and she slaps the mattress angrily, roughly wiping away her tears.
The information Mr. Mancini gave her is sitting on the bedside table, and she sits up, taking a look over the paper with the numbers to local restaurants and the cab company. After making arrangements for a cab to pick her up, she runs her fingers through her hair, trying to tame the tangled auburn mess before giving up and pulling it back into a tight ponytail. When the cab arrives, she pulls her purse over her head, resting it on the side of her body that isn’t painful to the touch. She rolls up the sleeves of the previous driver’s jacket as she climbs into the cab and requests to be taken to the nearest clothing and grocery stores.
Raina pays the cab driver as she slips out of the back seat, looking around at the stores in front of her, deciding to enter the first one, not in the mood to be able to enjoy the shopping experience. She tries on the clothes robotically, choosing the ones she feels best suits the culture. After purchasing the clothing, she mindlessly walks to the grocery store, buying only the basic necessities as she numbly walks through the aisles.
When she is back at the villa, she puts up the groceries and places the clothing on the bed, stripping out of the shirt and jeans she has been wearing for well over twenty-eight hours. Her body aches and is in desperate need of sleep, but she refuses to give in to her exhaustion, choosing to take a shower instead. Every movement feels forced, disconnected as she grabs a towel, placing it on the hook next to the large shower.
Once the water is as hot as she can stand, she steps inside the glass door. The steam engulfs her, and she lets the warmth of the water seep into her tired, tender muscles. She tries to not think, but it’s useless, she is powerless to stop the images of Kas rushing through her head. She touches her lips when she thinks of their first kiss, after he told her he was in love with her. The tears run down her face as memories overwhelm her, searing her heart. ‘
You
taint
everything
you
touch,’
her father’s words torment her, shattering her resolve. She wants to be strong, to prove her father is wrong, but she has no strength left. She succumbs to her father’s aspersion and leans against the shower door as the sobs rack her bruised body.