Heart of a Texan (17 page)

Roberta felt her agitation growing. “But you like Texas, and you like being a rancher.”

“I could just as easily have gone to half a dozen other places and done as many different things. I followed my commanding officer to Texas and became a rancher because that’s what I learned working for him. I’m in love with you. I will go wherever you need to go, do whatever I need to do so you can be safe and happy.”

A wave of love for this man swept over Roberta like a torrent of flood waters rushing down from the hills to the north. She had done nothing to deserve such a love. There must be dozens of women who were more worthy. She wasn’t beautiful, rich, or sweet and charming. She wasn’t brilliant, sophisticated, or the leader of local society. She was a farmer’s daughter who liked being in charge of her own life even if it meant working in the fields. Why should a man like Nate love her so much he was willing to go anywhere, do anything that would make her happy?

For the first time in her life, someone would make important decisions based on what she wanted. That, in itself, was scary enough, but Nate’s happiness was equally important. Whatever choices she made had to be made with both of them in mind. And none of that could be decided until they solved the mysteries of who killed her father… and why someone wanted her dead.

She turned to Nate. The love glowing in his eyes nearly overwhelmed her. “I do love you, more than I thought possible, but I can’t marry you yet. It may not make sense to you, but I can’t do that until I know who killed my father. It’s as though my life went into limbo that night. I can’t move forward, and I can’t move backward. I don’t
want
to be like this, but I can’t help myself.”

“That’s how I felt when Caleb died.”

“How did you get over it?”

“I vowed to hunt Laveau down and bring him to justice.”

“But you haven’t done that.”

“Taking on that task freed me to get on with the rest of my life. It doesn’t overshadow everything else.”

“Can’t you see it already has? You bought a ranch you don’t run. You live in a town you know nothing about. You’re never in one place long enough to put down roots.”

“I was here long enough to fall in love with you.”

“Only because I shot you. Have you thought of how different things would be if you hadn’t come back early?” She didn’t wait for Nate to respond. “I have. You would have ignored me just as you did before. What if you fell in love with me because it was the first time you stopped long enough to get to know a woman? What about the second time you stop? Or the third?”

She hadn’t thought about that last point until now. But having thought of it, wasn’t it a valid question? Falling in love with Nate had also caused her to question her decision to go back to Virginia. Why was the distance between falling in love and it being a good idea to get married so great? Why did her head and her heart have to be in constant conflict?

“You can be sure of one thing. I will love you at least as much in the future as I do now. I’m not without some experience with women. You’re the only one who has made me want to stop long enough to fall in love. I hadn’t ignored you before. I just thought I had things I needed to do first. I realize now I was wrong.”

Roberta wasn’t sure she could interpret his actions the same way, but she didn’t resist when he drew her close to him.

“My first concern is to keep you safe, but I’m going to do my best to make you believe I love you enough to last a lifetime.”

“Why me?”

“Because I can’t imagine anything worse than spending the rest of my life without you.”

That stopped Roberta for a moment. “You really mean that, don’t you?” She felt impelled to ask the question even though it was impossible to doubt the sincerity in his eyes.

Rather than respond with words, Nate answered with a kiss. Roberta had been kissed often enough to know it was going to be different this time. It wasn’t a rushed kiss or a tentative buss unsure of its welcome. It wasn’t forceful or timid. Nate moved with the measured assurance of a man certain of his mission and his ability to accomplish it. It was that assurance that drew Roberta forward to meet him, to welcome him, to accept his offering with joy as well as relief.

His lips were soft yet firm, warm yet cool, asking but expecting. The kiss was his gift to her, yet one she wanted to share rather than merely receive.

She moved into his embrace, her body coming to rest against his. He was taller by quite a few inches, yet they fit comfortably. It was no strain to tilt her head to meet his kiss. It happened as easily as if she’d done it a thousand times. But she’d never experienced this kiss. No one had or ever would. It was for her alone. A sigh escaped her, and she leaned into Nate’s body.

“Is that a sign of approval?”

What a needless question. Would she be virtually wallowing in his embrace if it weren’t? “If you think you can do better, you can try again.”

Nate chuckled softly into her hair. “I plan to try several times.”

Roberta could find nothing objectionable about that or the kiss that followed. She wasn’t sure it was better than the first, but it was good enough. Besides, she was too busy enjoying it to bother judging it.

For a man who claimed to have limited experience with women, Nate had managed to learn to kiss quite convincingly. His lips were gentle, encouraging her to be an equal partner in the kiss, but behind that gentleness she could sense sizzling passion held on a tight rein. A passion so fiery, so hard held, it both frightened and aroused her. How was it possible that she had been able to ignite such a fire in this man? What would happen if he ever lost control?

Somehow she knew he never would. Not with her. He nibbled the corner of her mouth and tugged at her lower lip with his teeth. He covered her mouth with his own, only to draw back when her breath started to come in gasps. She had always thought of a kiss as a peck on the cheek or a quick buss on the lips. She had never imagined it could be an experience that could last as long as she wanted, involving not one kiss but an unlimited number delivered in an amazing number of unique ways. The mere thought made her breathless.

Maybe it was the kisses that made her breathless. Or the nearness of Nate’s body. Or the rapidly expanding world of possibilities. Or the fact that she loved this man more deeply than she had ever thought possible. Maybe it was everything coming together when she least expected it. Maybe it didn’t matter what it was as long as all the reasons had their origin in Nate.

Suddenly she was tired of restraint. She wanted to taste the passion she could feel bubbling beneath the surface. She slid her arms around Nate’s neck and pulled him into a kiss that was neither timid nor unsure.

Nate’s response was not what she’d expected.

Nate’s arms closed around her waist. Lifting her off the floor, he pressed their bodies together with such force she could hardly breathe. His mouth came down on hers hungrily, forcing her head backward. There was nothing polite or gentlemanly about his kiss. It was rough, marauding, entirely selfish. It demanded all she could give, took all there was to take. Her mouth felt ravished, her lips bruised, her body held immobile by arms that closed around her like iron bands.

It took only a moment for an answering hunger to gush from her with a strength she would have found incredible if she’d stopped long enough to consider it. Instead, she wrapped herself around Nate and kissed him back with all the strength she could muster. She felt wild, unfettered, abandoned, free. Not once did she stop to think her actions might not be ladylike. Not once did she care if they were. She wanted Nate to know he wasn’t the only one who could love deeply, passionately, without reservation.

Her response was visceral. It required no thought, no plan of action, no rationalization. It came from a place that felt primitive, uninhibited, without limits. Nothing was unacceptable as long as it grew out of their love for each other. The more unacceptable it would have been from another man, the more meaningful it was for the two of them. It made everything between them special, unique, unshared, unsampled, in many ways unexpected and unimagined.

Somewhere along the fringes of conscious thought, Roberta was belatedly aware that a door had opened, and she heard the voices of two men in a vigorous argument. Grady and Webb were already in the room before Roberta and Nate could pull more than a fraction of their awareness from each other. The two boys could hardly have looked more stunned if they’d walked in on Roberta and Nate in a carnal embrace. Both tried to make excuses, but all they managed to do was produce a series of unintelligible sounds consisting mostly of gabbling noises and gusty breaths.

Nate released her from his embrace but kept his arm around her waist. “Stop sounding like two pigs fighting over a mud hole and act like men. We were just kissing. If you manage to survive your shock, you’ll see me do it again.” He turned to Roberta with a sly grin. “As often as she’ll let me.”

It was an effort for Roberta to appear as unselfconscious as Nate. Her own behavior was mildly shocking to her. To have it observed by the boys was embarrassing. As far as she knew,
nice
women didn’t act as she had. She didn’t want to change the way she responded to Nate, but she wanted it to remain between the two of them.

Nate released Roberta before turning back to the boys. “What did you want?”

Webb’s mouth opened. When nothing came out, he nudged Grady, who jumped like he’d been stuck with a cattle prod. He turned from Webb to Nate, a look of panic in his eyes, before he found his voice.

“Uh, nothing. We can talk about it later.”

“It’s clearly something, or you two wouldn’t have burst in here arguing.” The boys looked abashed. “You might as well tell me what it is.”

Webb seemed unsure, but Nate’s smile appeared to reassure him he wasn’t about to be physically ejected from the room. “We were trying to figure out why Russ never lets us ride with the rest of the men. We’re honored to be asked to make sure nothing happens to you,” he hastened to assure Roberta, “but staying at the house all the time makes us feel like Russ doesn’t think we can do the work.”

“I’ve wondered the same thing, but I’ve had so much for you to do here it seemed pointless to bring it up. As soon as I’m sure Roberta isn’t in danger, I’ll see that you ride with the rest of the crew. Is there anything else you wanted to ask?”

“No!” both boys answered at once. “We’ll get back to work.”

They practically stumbled over each other getting out of the room. The moment the door closed behind them, Roberta turned to Nate and burst out laughing. Seeing her laugh seemed to set him off. “I thought they were going to faint,” she said, when she was finally able to talk. “I’ve never seen two boys so shocked.”

“I expect they’ll eat their supper without taking their eyes off their plates,” Nate said. “It’ll be days before they can look either one of us in the face.”

That set Roberta off again.

“They probably thought I was about to disgrace you right here in the middle of the floor.”

“The way I was wrapped around you, I’m not surprised.” Just remembering caused Roberta to grow warm. Realizing she wanted to do it again made her blush. Nate stepped close and took her hands in his.

“You aren’t sorry, are you?”

“No. Just a little embarrassed. I had no idea I could act like that.”

Nate smiled. “I take that as a compliment.”

“Do you want a rapacious female practically attacking you?”

“You didn’t see me trying to run away, did you?”

Roberta grinned. “It’s just something I have to get used to.”

“You’ll grow accustomed more quickly if we practice often. Say at least once an hour.”

Roberta pulled her hands from his grasp. “You’ll have those boys thinking I’m a woman without principle or decorum.”

“They wouldn’t dare. They adore you.”

“They’re afraid of me, you mean.”

“Let’s just say they have a healthy respect for what I’ll do to them if they let anything happen to you.”

Remembering what it had cost Carlin to protect her drove all thoughts of romance from her mind. It also reminded her of the danger that seemed to lurk around every corner. She moved away from Nate and turned her gaze toward the window that looked out over the lane leading up to the ranch house. “I’m not sure it’s right to ask them to risk their lives for me.” She turned back to Nate. “They’re just boys. They’ve got their whole lives before them.”

“They won’t if they let anything happen to you. I asked them if they wanted me to bring in someone else to guard you. Both assured me they would still watch over you even if I brought in a dozen men. They want to know who killed Carlin as much as we do.”

“We’re not making any progress, are we?”

“I know who’s behind it. We just have to find a way to catch him.”

“How?”

“The sheriff is working on it, and every rancher in the county is anxious to prove he’s not responsible. We’ll find him and everybody who’s working with him. It’ll just take time.”

Roberta wasn’t as confident. DiViere had escaped punishment for seven years. Why did Nate think they were going to catch him now, especially after Nate had devoted two years to trying to bring him to justice without success? Nate must have known what she was thinking.

“He’s been practically invulnerable since the war. In the beginning, he was shielded by the Union Army. Now he’s got the carpetbagger administration throwing a curtain of protection around him. But he’s grown more violent, more brazen, less inhibited by fear of consequences. He’ll make a mistake, and then we’ll catch him.”

Roberta was afraid to think of the kind of mistake that would require. DiViere had come close to killing both of them. She felt helpless to aid in catching a man who seemed more a figment of her imagination than flesh and blood. It was only the lack of another suspect that caused the sheriff and the ranchers to accept Nate’s belief that diViere was the real villain.

“I want to sell the farm.” The words were out of her mouth before she knew she’d made the decision.

Nate was taken by surprise. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Her thoughts weren’t in order yet, but she was certain she’d made the right decision. “It cost my father his life, and it has endangered mine.”

“What will you do?”

“I don’t know. I just know I can’t go back to that farm.” She stopped even as the next sentence was forming in her brain. If she didn’t go back, wouldn’t that mean she was giving up, letting the attackers win? She had sworn she wouldn’t leave until they found her father’s killer. If the attacks were somehow tied to the farm, selling it might mean never knowing who or why. She suddenly felt weighted down by an unmovable burden. “I have to go back. I have to rebuild the house, plant the fields.”

At first she expected Nate to argue with her, but she realized he’d known all along she would go back. He’d also known why.

“I’ll help you.”

“I have to do this alone.”

“You can decide what kind of house you want, what to plant in which fields, even whether to rebuild the dam, but you can’t believe for one minute that I’ll allow you to go to that farm alone. I don’t know what kind of twisted reasoning has caused Laveau to focus his hatred on you, but he won’t give up.”

“I’m a grown woman. I can take care of myself.”

“I’m a grown man, and I love you. That makes it my job to make sure nothing happens to you.”

Roberta decided she could accept that line of reasoning.

***

“Boone is trying to pretend he hasn’t spent the last year telling everybody you were going to marry him. Prudence told him to stop making a fool of himself, that her memory hadn’t failed even if his had.”

Roberta welcomed Blossom’s visit, but she was surprised Carl had accompanied her. Even more surprising, Carl’s attention was focused more on Blossom than Roberta.

“He still can’t believe you turned him down,” Blossom added. “He thinks he’s the most eligible man in Slender Creek, and any other woman would jump at the chance to marry him.”

“I wasn’t in love with him.”

“Boone doesn’t understand the concept of love. To him, marriage is the joining of assets—pretty much the same as a successful business alliance.”

“He told me he was too busy to get married right now,” Carl informed Roberta. “He’s considering opening a bank to compete with Otis Parker.”

“Between the saloon and his restaurant, he collects more cash in a week than anybody in town,” Blossom added.

“Doesn’t he pay most of it out in wages and purchasing supplies?” Nate asked.

Blossom winked at Roberta before turning back to Nate. “He’s just making noise to detract people from talking about how Roberta prefers you to him. Boone can’t stand to come in second.”

Roberta tried not to blush. She was sure a lot of people believed she was doing a lot more than
preferring
Nate to Boone, but she was uncomfortable having it mentioned so openly.

“When are you going to announce your engagement?” Blossom asked.

“I haven’t asked Roberta to marry me so there’s no engagement to announce.”

Blossom didn’t hide her surprise. “Don’t try to tell me you aren’t in love with each other.”

“We won’t,” Nate said.

“And she’s practically living in your house.”

“She’s here so I can protect her,” Nate said. “And she’s going to stay here until this is over.”

“I understand that, but not everybody in Slender Creek does.”

“If Prudence has been telling people Roberta is doing anything she shouldn’t—”

Blossom didn’t let him finish. “Prudence has defended Roberta. She cornered Sally Erskine in the general store yesterday and accused her of spreading malicious gossip. She told Sally she’d make her life a living hell if she said one more word against Roberta. She finished by saying Roberta wouldn’t be having a seven-month baby who weighed nearly nine pounds.”

Roberta didn’t feel the slightest inclination to join in Nate’s amusement at Sally’s discomfiture. She was horrified her personal life was the subject of widespread gossip.

“Roberta knows I want to marry her,” Nate told Blossom, “but she doesn’t feel she can make that decision as long as she doesn’t know who wants her dead.”

Blossom looked hard at Nate. “Then you’ve got to find who it is. I don’t like what people are saying any more than Prudence.”

“Me either,” Carl added.

“I know Laveau is behind it all,” Nate said. “What I don’t know is why he targeted Roberta and her father. Even more important, I don’t know what locals are helping him.”

Blossom insisted no one within a hundred miles would do such terrible things, but Nate told her if she’d been in the war, she wouldn’t say that. When Carl agreed with Nate, Blossom turned to Roberta. “I guess every man in the county has been in the saloon at one time or another. There’s not one I met who would try to burn you in your bed.”

“Laveau did that.” Nate didn’t equivocate. “I’m sure he killed Carlin, too. I suspect he killed Roberta’s father, but we won’t have any way to prove it until we find out who’s helping him.”

“There might be a dozen men who’d set fire to a barn or trample crops for money, including some of the men who work with Russ.” When Nate looked thoughtful, Blossom asked, “Do you suspect anyone?”

“No, but I think all the ranchers, including myself, have made a mistake in thinking we know where our men are all the time. Roberta has told me my obsession with Laveau has kept me from becoming part of the community. It has also kept me from paying attention to my own ranch. I’ve let Russ do virtually all the hiring. I don’t even know the men who work for me.”

“It’s up to you and the other men in Slender Creek to catch whoever is behind it,” Blossom stated. “I don’t like knowing there’s a murderer around. I could have been talking to him in the saloon.”

“You won’t find Laveau in a saloon unless he’s planning something,” Nate said. “He considers himself an aristocrat.”

Blossom sniffed. “Then I certainly haven’t seen him. The men I meet think more of their horses than of themselves.”

They talked for a while longer without coming to any conclusions. “Are you coming to church this week?” Blossom asked Roberta when she rose to go.

“I don’t know.”

“People are concerned about you. Not everybody is as mean-spirited as Sally Erskine.”

“She can go if she wants,” Nate offered. “If necessary, I’ll take every man on the place to make sure she’s safe.”

***

As it turned out, that wasn’t necessary. Every rancher in the county sent a few cowhands. Roberta ended up being escorted by more than twenty riders. The townspeople apparently took the phalanx of riders as proof that the ranchers believed her safety was the only reason she was at Nate’s spread. Not even the most inveterate gossiper was ready to pit herself against such a show of force.