Heart of Grace (Return to Grace Trilogy #1) (15 page)

"But what will they do when...nevermind." He pulled her
even closer. "I'm not really interested in them right now,
anyway."
“Me either,” Angela agreed.
The crowd erupted into shouts and laughter. It occurred to
Angela to look up and see what the commotion was all about,
but the feel of being in his arms had her leaning her head
against the side of his jaw, her eyes drifting shut. People all
around them clapped to the tune of a fiddle. Cole sighed and
tightened his grip.
Someone bumped into them. Angela pulled back quickly
as a woman holding a child apologized and then hurried toward
Sophie. The woman and Sophie both squealed amidst the
fiddle’s whine and the shouts of the crowd. The toddler, her
pigtails and pink ribbons bouncing with excitement, shifted
easily into Sophie’s arms.
Cole smirked and took Angela’s hand, leading her to the
center of the dance floor. Sophie met them halfway, the
woman and Michael at her side.
“My niece, Emily,” Sophie explained to Angela, “and this
is Pam, my sister. She’s visiting from Missoula. Pam, you
remember Angie, right?”
“Of course!” Pam ignored the hand Angela held out and
yanked her into a hug.
“I haven’t seen you since I was…what? Twelve?
Thirteen?” Angela remembered Sophie’s older sister, who had
seemed so sophisticated when she had picked up and moved
to the “big” city of Missoula. Now she looked simply happy in
the role of a mother, her smile as warm and joyful as her
sister’s.
“How’s that man of yours doing, Pammie?” Cole asked,
taking his turn at a hug.
“He's fine, I imagine.” She shrugged. “He’s back in
Missoula working, so Emily and I thought we’d drive up here
in time to catch the fireworks.”
“Glad you did,” Cole said easily, not missing the suspicion
in Pam’s eyes as she shifted her gaze to Michael. As Sophie
introduced Pam to the new man in her life, Cole turned his
attention to the little girl Emily.
“Well, there you are, Cinderella!” Cole teased and the girl
laughed. “May I have this dance, princess?”
“Yes, yes, yes!” Emily bounced in Sophie’s arms and
reached for Cole. He took her to the dance floor and swung
her around, awarded with more laughter. Angela watched them
and smiled.
“He’s great with kids,” Sophie offered, clapping along.
“I see that,” Angela laughed as Cole attempted a modern
dance move. He tried to swing his hips, but it ended up looking
more like a seizure. “But he’s a terrible dancer!”
“There are many things that cowboys are good for, honey,”
Sophie said.
“But dancing ain’t one of them!” Pam interjected, drawing
a giggle out of Sophie. “Unless, of course, it’s a two-step. And
what he’s doing out there is most definitely not a two-step.”
Both sisters cupped their hands around their mouths and
cheered on Cole and Emily. Angela caught the bewildered
expression that briefly crossed over her brother’s face. She
knew what he was thinking:
two Sophies
.
Angela had a hard time sympathizing with her brother. She
joined in with the two sisters, shouting and laughing as Cole
made a fool of himself to the tune of the fiddle.
“Again!” The little girl pleaded as they finished the dance
and Cole walked back with Emily still on his hip. “Please, Cole,
please can we do it again?”
Cole laughed. “Maybe later, princess, but it’s Angela’s turn
now.”
“Oh, no.” Angela shook her head and took a cautious step
back, even as Cole handed Emily to Sophie and made a reach
for her. “I can’t dance!”
“You were just dancing with me five minutes ago.”
“That was different. I can’t dance like
this
.”
“Me neither,” he shrugged, “but that’s not the point.”
As the band started up another fast tune, Angela found
herself being half carried, half dragged onto the dance floor.
She let out a breathy sigh and met the challenge in Cole’s eyes
as he spun her around. In spite of herself, she giggled, much as
that little girl had done. Within seconds, she gave in, ignoring
her own self-consciousness as she let him lead her through a
jig. The dance was completely wrong for the type of music that
played, but as Cole had said, that wasn’t the point. They
laughed and stumbled through most of it, garnering the
attention of everyone around them. At the end he curved her
back into a flourished dip and kissed her fully on the lips.
Angela’s stomach gave an exhilarated little roll as the world
tipped in her vision and then Cole was the only thing she could
see, and all that she wanted to see. He lifted her up among cat
calls and whistles, the intensity in his eyes quickening her heart.
“Hey Beau!” he called up to the lead vocalist. A look passed
between the two men. Cole winked at Angela an instant before
jumping on stage.
Sophie, Michael, Pam and Emily joined Angela before she
could think to question what was happening. Along with the
rest of the crowd, her companions cheered at the sight of Cole
on the stage. He picked up a guitar and played a few bars of
random jams with the fiddler. The drummer joined in and
before long Cole was very much a part of the band.
He looked amazing in his black T-shirt, snug jeans and
boots, his Stetson perched on his head. He held the guitar as if
he had been born to play it. When he looked down at the
crowed, his eyes found only her.
They finished the song and Cole handed the guitar back to
Beau, who leaned in and said something into Cole’s ear. The
men conversed for a moment, and although Angela could not
hear what they were saying, the crowd seemed to know. They
started shouting and demanding that Cole do another. He
shook his head, to Beau and the crowd, but after a few
moments he gave in and took the guitar back.
“We just want to thank everyone for coming out tonight,”
Beau said into the microphone as someone brought a stool for
Cole to sit on. The rest of the band left the stage. “You guys
have been awesome, but we’re gonna take a little break. Now,
I’m sure you all know Cole Jordan.”
The crowd applauded and whistled.
“We sang at a rodeo a few years back,” Beau continued,
“and as luck would have it, Cole was competing that night. He
heard us and the next day he introduced us to his manager. So
I guess you could say Cole has a lot to do with the reason we
are where we are today. But what few of you may know is that
aside from kicking it on the guitar, he’s also quite the singer.”
Cole shook his head again and muttered something under
his breath. He turned into the microphone and started to say
something, but the laughter bubbled up in response to the
good-hearted banter from his friends in the crowd. He took
the pick from the strings at the neck of the guitar and
strummed the first note, letting the last of the chuckles fade as
Beau walked off stage.
Angela stood at the edge of the stage as the crowd quieted,
looking up at him as he played the opening bars. It was a light,
sad tune, his foot tapping silently to the rhythm.
The sound brought Angela back to a morning a week
earlier, when she had sat in her garden and cried to the distant
thrums of a guitar. The music she heard now was the same
music that had given her such peace in the midst of her fears.
It had opened her up to an understanding she still could not
completely grasp, and it had been created by Cole.
When he started to sing, he opened his eyes and focused
them directly on her. The smooth tenor of his voice mixed
fluidly with the soft strums of the guitar. Her eyes wanted to
drift shut, but she forced herself to look at him and to listen to
the lyrics.
It was a love song, speaking of the gentle tug of a woman
on man’s heart. She was fire and grace, burning through him
to singe and heal all at once. She stoked the fires of desire and
calmed his storms. He was terrified of his love for her and
overcome by the reassurance of her love for him. On the last
note of the song he stilled his hand over the strings and paused,
eyes closed as he dragged out the note.
“I didn’t know for sure,” Sophie said into Angela’s ear as
Cole set the guitar in its stand and the crowd cheered, “but
now I
know
that he’s in love with you.”
The first boom of the fireworks resonated through the sky.
Her friend’s words resounded almost as loudly as those
explosions. Cole jumped off the stage and planted a noisy kiss
on Angela’s lips.
“You sing.”
Cole shrugged. “A little.”
“And you play guitar.”
He smirked. “You’re a sucker for a guy with a guitar, aren’t
you?”
“Maybe.” She took a hold of his shirt, unable to keep
herself from looking at him as though he were some sort of
apparition. The fireworks exploded over their heads.
“Does that mean you’ve forgiven me?” The heat came
back to his eyes.
“You broke your promise.”
His easy smile receded.
“Cole, thank the Lord you’re still here!” Stephanie, Tina’s
mother, tore through the crowd and jerked him aside.
Angela couldn’t hear their muted conversation through the
boom of fireworks, but after a few moments Cole hurried back
to Angela and took hold of her arm. The first rain drops started
to pelt down, harder and harder as he pulled her across the
lawn and toward his truck, Stephanie hurrying behind them.
Fourteen

“What’s going on?” Angela asked from the passenger seat
of Cole’s truck.
“Tina didn’t come home.” Cole shifted into reverse.
Stephanie settled onto the bench seat behind them.
“I told her to be home by sunset and she’s not answering
her cell phone.” Stephanie leaned forward. Wet hair stuck to
her face. She pushed it away with unsteady hands. "I thought
she'd be here."
“She left with Billy over an hour ago,” Angela said, “did
you call his parents?”
“They don’t know where he is, either. I tell you, that Billy
is trouble. Ever since Tina got together with him I’ve been a
nervous wreck, just waiting for him to get her into a mess.”
They drove through town, but Tina could have been
anywhere. Angela thought of the conversations she had had
with the girl, trying to remember the places she liked to go.
“The café,” she said quickly as Cole slammed to a hault at a
stop sign.
“I looked there,” Stephanie said.
“The rec center?”
“It’s closed by now.”
“What about the quarry?” Cole asked. “We used to hang
out there when we were kids.”
“Yes!” Angela turned fully toward Stephanie. “Earlier
today I overheard Billy asking Tina to go to the quarry.”
“Oh dear,” Stephanie muttered. “There were only two
reasons we’d go up there as kids. And I doubt they're
swimming.”
Angela rubbed Stephanie’s arm. “I’m sure she’s fine.” But
she wasn’t really sure, and a pit of dread settled in Angela’s
belly as Cole made a u-turn and headed out of town.
Cole drove straight down the middle of the road to avoid
the streams of water running along the edges. He sloshed
through mud as they neared the quarry, leaning forward to see
through the sheets
of rain spilling
over the windshield.
Lightening lit up the clouds, illuminating vehicles parked along
the cliffs. Stephanie rushed out of the truck even before Cole
brought it to a full stop.
She stumbled through the mud and rain to Billy’s truck,
panic filling her eyes when she found it empty. She turned
toward the cliffs. The waters would rise and fill the pits and
caves of the quarry. Not a summer went by without someone
dying down there. They’d made it illegal to walk down the cliffs
past dusk, but few paid heed to the warnings.
Cole took a flashlight from his truck. He and Angela joined
Stephanie on the cliff’s edge. “Stay here,” he ordered, and
started down the steep embankment.
Angela followed him, flanked by Stephanie. Cole looked
back briefly, irritation creasing his forehead when he realized
they hadn't listened to him. He turned and shined his flashlight
down into the carved out hole, water dripping off the brim of
his hat. There was no sign of the kids. Some of the lower levels
were already filled with runoff from the mountain rains and the
local washes.
They worked their way down the steep ridge, the beam of
Cole’s flashlight sweeping the pits. Angela slipped in the mud.
Cole reached down and helped her up. Lightening flashed with
the roar of thunder. The three of them shouted out Tina’s
name, but it was lost in the clamor of the storm. After several
more minutes the sound of a female voice rose up from the
darkness below.
Angela picked up her pace and hurried toward the sound.
Cole yelled for her to stop, but when she didn’t listen he took
up step behind so he could shine the light on her path. They
called Tina’s name again and again, following the voice in the
darkness. As they got closer, they realized Tina was not just
calling out to them – she was screaming.
The three of them half ran, half slid toward the sound,
coming to a bluff overlooking the inky black water. Kids used
this as a jumping off point. It was a dangerous trick; in dry
seasons the surface of the water was twenty feet below and
sometimes even lower than that. Tonight the water had risen
almost level with the bluff. Angela skidded down the remaining
rocks to the bluff’s surface.
“I don’t see her,” Stephanie stepped behind Angela,
followed by Cole. “Where is she? Tina? Tina! Where are you?”
“Mom? Mom! I’m over here...Mom!”
Cole shone the flashlight toward the direction of the
sound, focusing the beam on a flash of color in a shallow cave.
Billy pushed Tina against the wall, lurching back when the light
found him. Tina crumpled to the ground.
Cole pushed the flashlight at Angela and rushed at Billy,
grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. He growled and shoved
the kid against the wall. Tina ran to her mom and Angela,
wrapping her arms around both of them. The beginnings of a
bruise marred the girl’s cheek.
Stephanie took off her own parka to cover her daughter,
muttering nonsense as she fussed over her. Cole pinned Billy
against the wall, making threats Angela could not hear.
Angela stilled, watching horror rise up in the girl's eyes.
Tina's gaze shifted from Angela to her mother, then back again.
Something vague flashed in Angela’s memory. She closed
her eyes and braced for the blow, but it left as quickly as it had
come, slinking back into the shadows of her memories. She
held onto Tina, for both of their sakes, and tried to imagine
that the memory, or whatever it was, had been tossed into the
black quarry lake, sinking like a rock until it reached the
bottom. Forever unseen and forgotten.
Tina sobbed in Angela’s arms. Stephanie smoothed her
daughter’s wet hair and shouted something at Billy. Cole
dragged the boy by his shirt collar into the rain.
Angela stood in the center of the chaos. She shut her eyes
to block it out. The darkness moved in and threatened to take
the air from her lungs. The rock refused to sink. It bobbed to
the surface.
“Angela.”
Her gaze
understood. Her limbs trembled. Someone took Tina from her
arms. Cole touched her shoulder.
Angela bit down on her bottom lip. “I’m okay." She
stepped back.
Cole let go and took his keys from his pocket, handed them
to her. “Take my truck and follow me back into town, then
take Steph and Tina home and wait for me at their house. I’ll
take Billy home in his truck and then I’ll meet you at Steph’s.
Don’t try to go home, Angela. Wait for me at Steph’s.”
She nodded, unable to trust her voice.
“I’m serious, sweetheart. I don’t want you driving alone.”
He reached to her again and squeezed her arm. “I don’t want
you to be alone.”
“Okay.”
An hour later Angela sat with Tina on the sofa, Stephanie
in the chair across from them. Angela had borrowed a pair of
Tina’s sweatpants and a T-shirt. Each of them held a warm
mug of tea. Tina’s tears had stopped falling, but the bruise on
her cheek had turned from red to purple and her eyes glazed
unseeingly into the distance.
“I didn’t call the police,” Stephanie said quietly, adding,
“
yet
. Your father and I are going to deal with this in the
morning.”
“Oh Mom, no.” Tina set her tea down and rose. “I don’t
want everyone to know. Just forget about it, okay? I’ll break up
with him.”
“Honey,” Stephanie rose, “you can’t let him get away with
it.”
lifted to Cole. She
knew
the moment he
“He didn’t. He won’t.” Tina smiled a little. “You guys
showed up in time. Nothing happened.”
Because she understood, Angela offered Tina a knowing
nod, but Stephanie opened her mouth to speak, ready to fight.
She was cut off when her husband escorted Cole into the
room.
“Billy’s dad was home,” Cole announced. “I told him what
happened. He won’t let it go unpunished.”
“A lot of good that does. That boy needs to be in jail,”
Stephanie said harshly. She set her tea down and hugged Cole.
“Thank you, both of you.”
Cole nodded and set his gaze on Tina. “You okay?”
“Yeah. I will be.”
"Of course you will. Nothing keeps the amazing Tina
down for long." Cole winked at Tina and took Angela’s hand.
“We’ll check in on you tomorrow. Get some sleep.”
They didn’t speak on the way back to the ranch. Angela
stared out the window at the rain, thinking of that night in her
New York apartment after she had quit her job and decided to
go back to Grace. She had watched the rain through her high
rise window. It seemed like a thousand years had passed. The
demons were now so much more than they had been all those
weeks ago. They swirled around her and pulled her under; she
was drowning in them. Closing her eyes, she wished for the
memories to go away, but she knew it was only a matter of time
before they would sweep into her consciousness. She gave in
to the feeling, like a prisoner bowing before an executioner’s
gun.
“What did you remember?” Cole turned off the ignition in
front of the main house.
“Not that,” she answered quietly, turning to look at him.
“But it’s closer.”
“Angie.” He reached for her hesitantly, but he stopped
himself before touching her. “I don’t want you to be alone.
Stay with me tonight. Not
with me
," he added quickly, "but here,
at the house. In the guest room.”
She nodded and slid out of the truck. The rain had let up
some. Lightning flashed in the distance. She walked with Cole
to the front door.
****
Angela
pushed back
the curtains and watched the
lightening, listening to the persistent rain tapping against the
glass. It helped to focus on the rhythm of it. Standing there,
surrounded by walls the color of creamed coffee and the calm
beige of the bed linens and furniture, she could almost pretend
it hadn’t been real. The only things that were real were what
she perceived in this very moment: the feel of the room, the
sound of the rain and the texture of the muslin curtain against
her palm. Perhaps her feelings had merely been a reaction to
Tina’s and she had not remembered a thing.
Perhaps the shadows would not reveal all of their secrets,
after all.
She jolted at the knock on the door.
“Angie,” Cole said when she did not immediately answer.
“It’s me. Can I come in?”
She closed her eyes briefly and forced her muscles to relax.
“Yes. Come in.”
He stepped into the guest room and walked to her, saying
nothing. He circled his arms around her. She raised her hand
to his chest, the cotton of his shirt soft against her palm. She
searched his eyes and focused on them as she had at the quarry,
letting this be her focal point of the present as the shadows of
the past continued their taunts.
“I’ll be right down the hall.” Cole said. “Nadine’s here too.
You’re not alone, Ang. You’re never really alone, you know.”
She thought of that day in her garden, when she had
listened to his music on the breeze. She held onto this feeling
long after Cole left, lying in bed and staring up at the flashes of
light across the dark ceiling. The comfort of his touch, of
remembering she wasn’t alone, drifted away. In its place came
a distant thrumming, a battle march growing louder and nearer
with each breath. Teetering on the edge, she wanted to keep
her eyes open, to stay awake. To not remember. But her heavy
eyelids betrayed her and she fell under.
The dream came like a sharp spear, tearing through her
sleep to drag her down deep, into the darkness of her
memories. She was a child on the brink of womanhood, weak
and broken. He rammed his fist hard against her chest, her
breath cut short at the explosion of pain. She knew it was too
late to fight, her body already torn.
Angela fought to pull out of the dream. She struggled to
swim to the surface, fighting against the most terrifying
memory. But he had her pinned and she couldn’t break free,
not even out of the dream.
****
Cole awoke suddenly to the sound of Angie’s whimpers.
He ran down the hall and knelt at the side of her bed. She
clutched the pillow to her chest, sobbing and writhing in her
sleep.
When his gentle coaxing did not wake her, he grabbed hold
of her shoulders and pulled her up, shaking her out of the
nightmare. “Angie, wake up!”
She came awake, her eyes jolting around the darkened
room. Cole knelt on the bed. She slinked back against the
headboard, stark terror in her eyes. He wasn’t entirely sure she
saw him.
“Angie, it’s me. It’s Cole.”
“No.” Still clutching the pillow, she pulled it against her
curled up knees, cringing from his touch. “No, daddy don’t.
Please don’t. Ple…ease.”
“I’m not him. It’s me, sweetheart, only me.” His voice
broke. “Come back to me now.”
She sighed and laid her head against her bent knees, closed
her eyes and rocked.
“Cole.”
He exhaled in relief, but then she continued, her voice
small like a child’s. “You know don’t you? You know what he
did. Please don’t tell anyone. He doesn’t like people knowing
our business.”
“No,” Cole said. She was awake now, but still deep in the
past. “I won’t tell.”
“Oh, please, God.” She let out a strangled cry. “My arm
hurts really bad, my leg too. And I can’t breathe.”
Cole’s chest tightened as she pressed herself against him.
He cradled her, his own tears falling.
“I can’t breathe.” Her head came up, her eyes wildly
frightened. “I can’t breathe, Cole. Please. I know you don’t like
me that much, but please help me.”
“Angie,” he coaxed, “you’re not hurt, not anymore. That
was years ago. You’re here with me now. Come back, baby,
and we’ll get through this together.”
“My arm-”
“Your arm’s fine.” He squeezed both her arms to prove it.
Her eyes were still unfocused, seeing him as he might have
looked back then.
She got up from the bed. “He…oh God, he…” her voice
stopped on a choke and she tumbled to the floor.
Cole rushed to her and forced her to stand. “Angela!” He
shouted at her. “You aren’t there anymore. You’re with me, in
my house. Wake up now!”
She blinked rapidly, her stare coming into focus layer by
layer. He knew the moment she became aware. She backed
away from him and placed a hand over her mouth. Her tears
fell quietly and slowly.
“I’m sorry.” She shook her head and ran into the
bathroom.
He rushed in after her and stood by as she threw up, then
rocked her as she cried on the bathroom floor. Moments later
Nadine came into the bathroom in her nightgown, haven been
awoken by the commotion.