Heart Of Marley (19 page)

“Mar, that’s none of your business.”

She made a slurping sound and my face turned red in embarrassment, although it was great to see the carefree version of my sister. Ever since the Introduction Gala several weeks ago, she had been more outgoing and at ease in her own skin. I only hoped it was Doug that brought this Marley back to me.

“You’re sick.”

“Maybe, but you still love me.”

I rolled my eyes. “Maybe.”

“No. You do. Don’t even try to deny it. You’d be lost if you didn’t have me for a sister.”

“Sure. Are you ready to go, Nurse Ratched?”

“Reading
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
, are you?” She raised her eyebrows at me. She had been hounding me to start reading more for months now.

“Perhaps. I figured I might as well start with that book. Call it research for dealing with crazy people…like you.”

“Let’s go, Cameron, before I permanently disable your ability to have children. Goodnight, Aunt Terryn,” she called out in her sing-song voice.

“Goodnight, kids. Have fun. And if you drink, don’t drive. Stay at Doug’s. It’s okay.”

I nodded. “Of course. Thanks.”

“You bet.”

I led Marley out of the house and we hopped into my Wrangler. Turning down the road, I noticed her expression. “Okay, Mar. Spill it.”

“She hates me.”

“Aunt Terryn does
not
hate you, Marley. How could you even say such a thing?”

“Because she’s always so nice to you. And she’s nice to me when you’re around. But… I don’t know. I have this feeling that, if I wasn’t doing all this pageant shit, she’d never speak to me.”

“You’re overanalyzing everything, just like you always do. Stop assuming the worst of people. She loves you. She’s done so much for you…for both of us. I know that sometimes it’s a bit hard to figure her out. One second, she’ll be cold, and the next, she’ll be giving you permission to sleep over your boyfriend’s house…”

“It’s not hard to figure her out,” Marley interrupted. “She’s bipolar.”

I shook my head, laughing. “No, she’s not. I just think she’s confused about how to raise us. She’s not our mom, but she’s expected to fill that role, even though Mama’s still in the picture. I think that’s why we see the difference in behavior on occasion. It’s like sometimes she remembers that she’s supposed to be the mom; other times, she wants to be the fun aunt.”

“I can’t wait to be the fun aunt,” she said, cutting the thick atmosphere. “I’m going to spoil yours and Brianna’s kids!”

“Mar, we’ve only been dating for a few months. Don’t rush us. It’s a high school romance anyway. Those relationships never work out.”

“But they can, can’t they?”

I could sense her concern about it. The thing about Marley was that when she loved, she loved with every fiber of her being and she couldn’t imagine life without the object of her affection. It was all or nothing with her. It was hot or cold. It was black or white. There was no in between.

“Of course they can.”

She smiled. “Good.”

I pulled up in front of Doug’s parents’ house, already seeing quite a few cars there. “So much for having just a few people over,” I said to Marley as I put the car in park. It was a good thing he lived in the middle of nowhere with not many neighbors. The properties were huge out this way so no one would even hear the party going on.

“Yeah. I warned him about telling Carla and Kristen, and the rest of the girls, but he figured it’s his senior year and it was time to have one huge party while his parents are out of town. I think his older brother’s home from U.S.C. this weekend, too, so he invited a few of his buddies over.”

“This is going to be quite the party then. Are you sure you’re okay with it? There’s going to be a lot of people, Marley.”

“Cam,” she said, turning to look at me as we walked up the driveway to the house. “You can’t always worry about me and how I’ll react. I know you won’t always be around to pick up the pieces. I see that now. I get that being my brother and dealing with me has become a burden on you. I don’t want to hold you back, so please don’t worry about me tonight. You just have fun with Brianna.” She winked as she grabbed my hand and pulled me the rest of the way toward the house, drunk bodies dancing on the lawn.

“I’m your brother. I’m always going to worry about you.”

“I know. I just don’t want it to come before your own needs…if you know what I mean.” She giggled and I simply rolled my eyes at her.

As I watched her make her way through the party, smiling and hugging girls that I never remembered seeing her talk to before, I couldn’t help but think that this was one of her good days. But I knew that for every up, there was an even worse down. Marley had been up since the Introduction Gala. An awful premonition formed in the pit of my stomach that when she finally fell from the high she had been on, it would be so far that no one could possibly bring her back. I hoped with everything that I was wrong.

T
HINGS
WERE
GOING
SO
well for so long. Everything seemed so…normal. I knew I had this obsession with normal, but I couldn’t help it. I should have known that it was too good to be true, that there was no way I could continue on the high that I had been on. Doug’s not love wasn’t enough to chase away the demons like I thought it would.

As I maneuvered through the living room of Doug’s house that was packed with dancing bodies, people were calling my name left and right. I recognized some of the girls as having graduated with Doug’s brother, Justin, so I enthusiastically hugged them, regardless of the fact that I had no idea who they were. This was what girls did, right? We would hug and pretend that we were the best of friends, then turn around to secretly gossip about them behind their back.

“I hear you’re dating Doug!” one of the drunk blondes slurred.

“You heard right!” I shouted back.

“Shots! We must do shots to celebrate!” a tipsy redhead exclaimed.

“I’m not twenty-one,” I stated.

She rolled her eyes. “Like that should stop you. Come. I insist. As a former member of the Jessamine Court, of which you’re now a member, you must do a shot with me. Trust me. You’ll need the alcohol to get through that spectacle.” She looked at me and her previous level of enthusiasm was replaced with an expression that I couldn’t quite label.

“What do you mean?” I asked quietly.

“She means that she’s had too much liquor and she’s now running her mouth. Isn’t that right?” a tall, skinny brunette said in warning.

The redhead shook her head. “Of course you would say that. You didn’t win.” She turned her attention back to me. “Lacey Richards.” She held her hand out. “I won three years ago.”

“I’m Marley-.”

“I know who you are. Be careful, Marley Bowen. And trust no one,” she whispered into my ear so no one could overhear her. “Now! Shots!” Lacey grabbed my arm and led me through the crowd of people toward the kitchen, her words repeating in my brain as I tried to figure out what she could possibly mean.

“Here. Drink this.” Lacey handed me a plastic shot glass filled with a clear liquid. I held my nose to it and nearly gagged from the smell.

“What is this?”

“Tequila. It helps you forget.”

I glanced around the party and was unable to find Cam. Shrugging, I brought the shot to my mouth. “You only live once, right? May as well make it count.”

“That’s right, Marley.”

I looked into her small hazel eyes and I could sense that she had the same opinion of the pageant that I did. I threw the shot back, choking through the burning sensation of the liquid. I had never really drank before so the taste of the tequila was quite a shock to my system.

Once the fire grew dull, I felt a warm sensation coat my stomach and travel through the rest of my body. I knew that alcohol had a tendency to remove your inhibitions and helped you to not really care, but that was what I always wanted. I wanted to stop caring about my past.

“Another round!” I shouted to cheers and whistles.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Marley Jane,” a sensual voice sounded.

I spun around and looked into a pair of blazing green eyes.

“Doug,” I exhaled, practically tackling him to the ground as I threw my arms around him, planting a deep kiss on his lips.

“Whoa. Take it easy there. You’re making me spill my beer.”

I giggled. “So sorry, Douglas. I understand that having a full cup of beer is much more important than kissing the girl that you’re in not love with.” I winked.

He threw his beer to the ground and pulled me into him, his mouth pressed against mine before I could even protest. His hand roamed my frame from my hip to my shoulder. Pleasure ran through me, making me become completely unhinged and as if I was not myself. I tried to draw his body even closer, but nothing was able to extinguish the fire inside caused by my need for him.

He released his hold on me, panting. “Damn, Marley Jane. How much have you had to drink?”

“I only did one shot. I just really missed you today.” I stood on my toes and kissed his neck. “I was left rather frustrated before second period. That kiss just didn’t do it for me.”

“Well, how about that one?” he asked, referring to our most recent exchange. “Was that one better?”

I scrunched my nose in a playful manner. “The jury’s still deliberating on that. I’ll let you know when they reach a verdict. Of course, you could try to butter them up and show off your skills during the process.”

He laughed. “I love your mouth, Marley.”

“Don’t you mean that you
don’t
love my mouth?”

He slowly shook his head. “No. I mean that I love your mouth. And the body attached to it.”

We stared at each other, the tension between us hot and carnal.

“Here. Come with me.” He grabbed my hand and led me away from the kitchen and up the stairs, my heart racing in my chest as we walked past couples making out in the hallway.

“Where are we going?” I was sure he could hear the nerves in my voice.

“My room. I mean, if you want to. I just really want to spend some time alone with you. We can keep the door open. I promise I won’t try anything.”

“I want you to try something, Doug.” I was surprised at the words leaving my mouth, but I knew that making out with my boyfriend while his parents were out of town was another rite of passage. It was normal. I needed normal. So I permitted him to lead me down the hallway on the second floor of his house, toward his darkened bedroom.

Throwing the door open, he allowed me to enter in front of him. Nerves coursed through me when I heard the click of the lock. I spun around, the look he was giving me a mix of desire and admiration.

“Have I told you today how beautiful you are?” he asked me, his tone serene.

“I think you were about to,” I started, “before Mr. Monroe interrupted you giving me mouth-to-mouth, which was a medical necessity at that moment.”

A smile crossed his face and he pulled me into his body, his hand placed firmly on the small of my back as he deliberately led me across his room. “How about now? Are you still feeling short of breath?”

Biting my lower lip, I nodded fervently. “Oh, yes. I’m definitely light-headed.”

“Well, the doctor is in.” Lowering me to his bed, he crawled on top. “Marley, I…” He stared at me and pushed one of my blonde curls away from my eyes.

“Yes?”

“I am really in not love with you,” he said, his voice warm and full of reverence.

My body heated in response to his words. “I’m really in not love with you, too. Doug…” I closed my eyes, summoning the inner strength I needed. “I want you to show me how much you’re in not love with me.” I narrowed my gaze at him in a knowing manner.

“Are you sure?”

I swallowed hard. “Yes,” I replied nervously, trying to convince myself that I could do this. Doug had been so incredibly patient with me when I knew he must have been rather frustrated at this point. Any of the other girls at school would have already slept with him. I knew I was different, but it was a normal thing to want to become intimate with the boyfriend I had been dating for several months. I
needed
the normal.