Heart Of Marley (31 page)

“How?”

“I found a support group, thanks to your uncle. He put me in touch with a therapist…”

“Wait. What?” I was floored that he would encourage Buck to seek therapy when he refused Marley any help.

“I’ve prayed for forgiveness like your uncle asked when he came to see me in prison. And I tried to stay on that path as soon as I was released. For the most part, I have, but I’m only human. At times, I’ve felt weak and needed some sort of support for when I thought I was losing my way. He referred me to a group and we meet every day. That’s where I go after work and before coming home.”

It was silent while I processed what he was telling me.

“Please, Cam. Let me live my life. I have a life now. I don’t feel the demons inside me. I feel like I finally have a direction with my fiancée and daughter. I beg you to stop living in the past.”

“I’m not…”

“Then why have you been sitting outside of my house for months?”

I avoided his eyes and stared at the white tile floor.

“You love your sister. You always have. I’m sure she’s trying to move on. Let her move on.” He held his hand out to me and I hesitantly took it. “Have a good life, Cam. God bless.”

I simply nodded, words evading me.

T
HE
DAY
I’
VE
BEEN
dreading since getting that letter last August has arrived. The Miss Jessamine Pageant.

Today started off like any typical Saturday, apart from having a near heart attack when I opened my eyes to see Cam lying in my bed, staring at me.

“AAAAAGGGGHHHHH!” I screamed, punching him and pushing him off the bed.

He laughed at my reaction as I sat up and continued to kick him. “What the fuck, Cam?”

“Happy birthday to you, too, Mar.”

“You’re an ass. Did you want me to die of a heart attack before I turned eighteen?”

He looked at his watch. “Wait for it… Too late. It’s 8:05. You’re officially an adult.”

I stood up and reached down, grabbing his hand, and pulled him to his feet, his frame towering over me by nearly a foot. “Happy birthday, Cameron Michael.” I wrapped my arms around him.
 

“Happy birthday, Marley Jane. You ready for today?”

I looked up at him and a slight smile spread across my face. “Surprisingly, yes. I’m actually looking forward to it. Now that I’m eighteen and will be moving to Columbia in a few weeks, I have quite a few things planned.”

Cam pulled back, his eyes narrowing on me. “Like what?”

I pinched his side. “You’ll just have to wait and find out. Trust me. This is one pageant of mine you do
not
want to miss. I have a feeling people will be talking about this one for years. My years of silence end today, Cam. I’m eighteen. No one can tell me what to do, how to dress, what to say or not say anymore.”

“Are you prepared for the fallout? I mean, as much as you may hold a grudge against Aunt Terryn for certain things, she
did
provide a way for us to stay together. If it wasn’t for…”

“I know! They didn’t have to take us. We could have been put through the wringer in the foster system and separated, but we weren’t. I
am
thankful to them for that, but… It’s not just them. It’s this entire town, Cam. Mr. Monroe got me thinking…”

“What? What do you mean?” He sat down on my bed and I followed.

“Our senior project. He was kind of the one that gave me the idea to do something today. He’s right. I’m at a distinct advantage to say something and make a stand. He’s talked at length to me about how change doesn’t happen overnight. But last year…”

“You mean with Gabriella?” Cam asked.

“Yeah. She planted the seed. We all remember her stink about the swimsuit portion.”

“She was practically crucified for that, Marley. Have you heard the rumors that went around about her?”

I shrugged. “I may have heard one or two.”

“People said she lost her mind, that she went off the deep end and demanded that Mr. Monroe sleep with her. That she blackmailed him and he just paid her off to make it all go away.”

“What do
you
think happened?”

He sighed. “I don’t know. You never know what to believe these days, it seems.”

“It doesn’t matter to me. They can talk shit about me all they want. Nothing could be worse than the truth, and that’s exactly what they’re all going to get today.”

“You’re sure about this?”

I looked Cam in the eyes and he could see the determination in my gaze. “I’ve never been so certain about anything in my entire life. I need to do this. To free myself from my past.”

He planted a kiss on my forehead. “Okay. You may want to start packing your shit then.”

“Most of it’s already over at Mama’s anyway. Two weeks from today, we’ll be high school graduates. I can’t wait.”

“Me, either, Mar.”

“Marley!” my aunt’s voice cut through.

“Yeah?!” I shouted.

I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and she appeared in the doorway. “Good. You’re up. Get a move on. Your hair appointment is at ten. Hurry.” She spun around and retreated back down the stairs.

Cam and I shared a look. “Not even a happy birthday?” he remarked.

“Oh, Cameron Michael, you should know that pageants are much more important than birthdays. At least according to her they are. Now, if you’ll excuse me. The queen must get ready for the ball.”

He rolled his eyes and left, allowing me to prepare for my day in peace. As I was collecting my things and placing them in my travel case, I went through my mental checklist, making sure that I had everything I would need for the pageant.

Rummaging through the medicine cabinet in my bathroom, I stumbled across my mirror compact and my hand hovered over it. That had been part of my pageant kit for the last two years, but I was trying so hard to free myself from the chains of my past. Shaking my head, I slammed the medicine cabinet shut, leaving the compact where it was.

“Marley! We need to leave!”

“Just one minute!” I finished throwing my hair supplies and makeup into my kit. My eyes settled on my bathing suit and the reality of what I would have to do today washed over me.

“Fuck it.” I ran back into the bathroom, found my compact, and quickly lowered my jeans. Digging the blade into my skin for the first time in months, I was able to momentarily release the anxiety coursing through me about what I was about to do.

“Marley Jane! Right now! Your appointment is in five minutes! Are you trying to be late?”

Hastily bandaging my legs, I readjusted my composure and grabbed my things, placing my compact in my purse. “No, ma’am. Just slow, as usual.” I struggled down the hallway with my heavy cases, my aunt looking up the stairs at me with an irritated expression.
You’d think if she was worried about being late, she’d at least offer to help,
I thought to myself.
God forbid she break a nail.

I heard the door to Cam’s room open and he came running out. “Here, Mar. Give me the heavy one. I’ll carry it down for you.” I dropped my case and glared at my aunt. “Thanks for helping me,
Cam
.”

He leaned toward me. “Be nice,” he whispered in my ear. “It’s not worth it.”

I nodded. “You’re right. I have bigger fish to fry today.” Climbing down the stairs, I pushed past my aunt.

“Marley!” Julianne called to me. “Are you going to be a princess again today?”

“I’m not a princess, Jules.”

“But you get to wear a crown! That makes you a princess.”

I smiled at her innocence. I used to have the same excitement about the pageants before I realized it was just a way for the town’s moms to compete amongst themselves over who produced the best offspring.

“Well, then, I hope I’ll be a princess again,” I replied, more for my aunt’s benefit than anything. I needed her to think that nothing was wrong. I didn’t need her overbearing eyes watching my every move.

“Me, too! I hope that I can be a princess one day.”

I took a deep breath, wanting to scream at the thought of pure, angelic Julianne suffering the same torment that I had the past several years. I needed to make a stand. I needed to sound a call for change…for Julianne and Meg. They needed to be spared from being used as pawns, the perverts of the town ogling their adolescent bodies. I wanted their pageant experience to be one of empowerment.

“You already
are
a princess in my eyes.” I looked at Meg who stood by her side. “Both of you are.” I planted a kiss on both of their foreheads. “I’ll see you kiddos later.”

I walked out of the house and, in a matter of minutes, we pulled up in front of the salon to go through the normal routine of being waxed, clipped, trimmed, and primped.

“Marley!” my stylist, Liz, exclaimed as I walked in, wrapping her arms around me. “Now, do you want to get the waxing over with first?”

I nodded. She knew how much I hated that part.

“Andrea will take you and then we’ll have some fun.” She winked and gestured to the petite blonde woman standing next to her. I followed her and stripped down for the humiliating process of having nearly every inch of me rid of hair. After the painful procedure, I was relieved to be sitting in my chair, having my hair done.

“Hey, Marley,” I heard as I sat with a rejuvenating mask on my eyes. I took off the cloth and turned to my left to see Brianna there, having her hair styled, as well.

“Hey. I didn’t know you were coming here.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah. Me, either. Apparently, your aunt persuaded my mom that to have any shot at winning, I had to get my hair done here.”

I busted out laughing. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!”

She giggled quietly, glancing at the other end of the salon where my aunt and her mother were with their own stylists, getting their hair and makeup done as if they were the ones competing in the pageant.

“I know. It’s not worth arguing over. I just need to get through this day and it’ll all be over. Happy birthday, by the way.”

“Thanks. My aunt completely forgot.”

She turned away. “That sucks.”

“Yeah. Tell me about it. Of course, if we forget Mother’s Day tomorrow, we’ll never hear the end of it. I’m glad she has her priorities.”

Looking into the mirror as Liz was diligently curling my long blonde locks into a style that my aunt had demanded, I noticed a man walk in carrying a large bouquet of roses.

The girl at the front desk grabbed them, got up from her chair, and walked toward where Brianna and I sat. My heart melted at the thought that Cam had sent her flowers. Then the receptionist turned to me. “Marley, these are for you.”

“What? Why?”

“Because Doug loves you,” Brianna said enthusiastically. “And he would never forget your birthday.”

I shook my head in disbelief. “I never expected him to do anything.”

“It’s a big deal, Marley. It’s not every day you turn eighteen.”

I grabbed the flowers and put them on the counter in front of me, opening the card.

Happy birthday to the most beautiful woman on the planet. Every day, I fall even more in not love with you. Just kidding. I love you, Marley Jane. Always.

Love,

Douglas

A wide grin crossed my face as butterflies swam in my stomach. It was hard to believe that we had been together for almost a year and I still grew excited when I thought of him. We would face our share of bumps in the road ahead, particularly because he would be going to Duke and I would be heading to U.S.C. since it was close to Mama, but I knew we would find a way to make it work.

“What’s in the box?” Brianna asked, tearing me away from my thoughts.

My eyes settled on a black velvet box tied in the bow around the vase that I hadn’t even noticed. My heart racing, I grabbed the box and slowly flipped it open, gasping at the beautiful diamond solitaire earrings. “Oh my…”