Heart of Rockies 03 - More Than a Feeling (9 page)

Ha.
Well. She’d learned how to ignore bothersome men when she’d been a waitress, so he could stand there all day, and she’d still make sure she saw right through him. To prove she could, she glanced up, but the second her gaze rested on his face, her heart twirled in happy circles.
Okay.
Apparently her traitorous body was having a hard time letting that kiss go. Steeling her shoulders, she bent her head to inspect the batter, which was likely now over-whipped. Just like her heart.

Ruby turned and walked to the other counter. She simply wouldn’t look at him. She had to focus, anyway. And he was so not worth—

Sawyer swooped in and stole the bowl from her hands, setting it on the counter out of her reach. “I didn’t mean to imply anything.”

The hell he didn’t. She shook her head instead of speaking because they both knew that was exactly what he’d meant. That was why he’d asked her to go hiking yesterday. That was why he’d taken a sudden interest in her. He didn’t trust her.

“Come on, Ruby.” He slipped in front of her and stood too close. “What’d you expect? I don’t know anything about you. You won’t share anything with me. About who you are. About your past. Then you
kiss
me—”

“
That
was a mistake.” Obviously. She stalked to the other side of the island and retrieved her bowl. “But don’t worry, Sawyer. I don’t make the same mistake twice.” Not anymore. She’d stay away from him now that she knew where he stood.

“Don’t be like that. I never said I minded the kiss.” He walked over and nudged her shoulder. “This is my job, Ruby. I have to ask the tough questions.”

But he hadn’t asked anyone else questions. Just her. Her chest pulled so tight she couldn’t breathe. “And I answered your questions. So you can go now.” She braced for an argument, but he simply nodded and shoved his hands into his pockets.

Then he turned around and left.

T
he towering stack of stainless-steel mixing bowls and cups teetered precariously on the counter next to the sink. Eyeing it, Ruby finished scouring the fourth muffin tin in a row and shut off the water. Her fingers stung—nearly raw from all the scrubbing, but at least the anger that had singed her skin didn’t burn anymore.

“Oh, my!” Elsie walked in and gawked at the leaning tower of baking equipment.

“Yeah. Don’t worry. I’ll put it all back.” Ruby wiped her hands on her apron and squirted some lotion onto her skin, rubbing it in until the cracks in her fingers stung. “Thought I should do some spring cleaning.” So she’d scrubbed every single bowl and measuring utensil in the entire kitchen. And now that her hands weren’t busy, the whole scene with Sawyer replayed again.

Had she imagined it? Or had he really accused her of stealing from the Walkers?

“Is something the matter?” Elsie asked, watching her closely.

“Oh…no.” She bent to retrieve a towel from the drawer so she could dry everything and put it away. And stay busy.

“Does this have anything to do with what happened this morning?” Elsie dug out another towel and started drying alongside Ruby. “With Sawyer?”

“How did you—”

“Sawyer told me all about it,” Elsie said, slipping the largest bowl back into the cupboard. “He asked me to check on you. To make sure you were all right.”

Of course she wasn’t all right. He must’ve seen the tears in her eyes when he came in and accused her. Was he too afraid to come and check on her himself? “I had nothing to do with it, Elsie. I swear.” This woman had changed her life by taking a chance on her, and it would kill her if Elsie thought she didn’t appreciate it. Tears pricked Ruby’s eyes again, hot and infuriating.

“Well, of course you had nothing to do with it, dear. I’m sure they didn’t mean to imply any different,” the woman said, smoothing a comforting hand down her arm. “Sometimes Sawyer is a bit harsh, being a policeman and all. That’s what it was. He takes his job very seriously.” Looking concerned at the way Ruby’s tears were now slipping, Elsie took her towel away and dropped it in a heap on the counter.

“There, now. Not to worry. I know you’d never do something like that, and so does Bryce. You sit, dear. I’ll make you some tea. We can put away the dishes later.” Elsie bustled away from her, humming while she filled up the teakettle and set it on the stove.

The reassurance should’ve salved the wide, gaping crack in her heart, but it still hurt. She shouldn’t care what Sawyer thought about her. He was leaving in a month. So why did his suspicion bother her so much? Elsie might believe he’d questioned her solely because of his role as a police officer, but she’d seen something else in him. It was almost like he was looking for a reason not to trust her.

And what had she done to deserve that?

“Here now.” The woman set a delicate china teacup in front of her. The soothing scent of lavender curled off the top. Sighing deeply, Elsie sat across from her. “Why do you think Sawyer suspects you?”

Wasn’t it obvious? “Because I don’t like to talk about my past.” No one else seemed to hold that against her. When she’d first met Elsie, Ruby told her that she’d just gotten out of a bad relationship and needed a job. That’s all. Though something in the woman had seemed to sense Ruby also needed protection, they’d never talked about it. But even without knowing anything about her, Elsie had never treated her like a criminal. “Sawyer doesn’t trust me.” For some reason, that was the hardest part. She knew she hadn’t spilled her guts to the man, but couldn’t he see that she was a decent person? That she would never intentionally hurt anyone?

“It’s not just you, dear. Sawyer has a hard time trusting anyone right now.” The soft gleam in her eyes spoke of an endless ocean of patience. “Betrayal works its way into you and alters the way you see everyone. You can’t take it personally.”

So what was she supposed to do? Tell him everything? Risk her whole future so that Sawyer would trust her? He was a cop. And she was living under a false identity. Ruby lifted the mug to her lips, inhaling the steam, sipping the warm, honey-sweetened tea. “I don’t even want to remember my past, let alone talk about it.” Especially with anyone at the Walker Mountain Ranch. The less they knew, the safer they would all be. The safer
she
would be. Maybe after more time had passed, after she was sure Derek had stopped looking for her, she’d tell him everything. But not right now.

Elsie nodded as though she understood. “If you can’t tell him, then show him who you are now.” She patted her hand. “You are such a beautiful woman, inside and out. Whatever you went through has made you stronger.” The woman’s eyes were so intent on her, like she was doing her best to infuse that into Ruby’s mind, into her heart.

They were words a mom should’ve uttered to reinforce her daughter’s shaky self-confidence. Words she had never heard directed at her. Before she could wipe away the tears, Elsie’s hand squeezed hers.

“Spend time with Sawyer. He’ll see the truth soon enough.”

That was exactly what she was afraid of. “He seems to have made up his mind.” Even though he’d kissed her back so tenderly the night before…

“The more you avoid him, the more suspicious he’ll become,” Elsie said with that motherly undertone. “You need to show him you have nothing to hide.”

Except she
was
hiding. Behind a fake name, a fake persona. Ruby looked away, but Elsie caught her wandering gaze.

“Let him know you so he can see the truth. So he can see what a good person you are,” she insisted, and Ruby knew the woman was right.

If she convinced Sawyer she was a good person, he’d move on to the next suspect. No more questions, no more suspicion. And maybe he’d find the person who was really responsible for the thefts so the Walkers wouldn’t get robbed again.

“Isn’t Sawyer teaching the kids how to swim tonight?” Elsie asked with a subtle arch in her eyebrows.

“Think so.” She’d made a mistake telling Elsie he’d invited her to go. Now, judging from the way the woman looked her so brightly—like a lightbulb had just turned on above her head—she might regret that. “I’m not going.” How could she? She’d planned on it until he’d stood across from her this morning, looking at her like she was a criminal. It would’ve been nice to learn how to swim. She was twenty-six, after all. If she finally took the plunge, maybe she could take Paige up on that rafting trip she was always offering.

“Of course you’re going.” Elsie chuckled. “It’s the perfect chance to show him you have nothing to hide, dear.”

Nerves sparked in her stomach. Yeah, she’d really have nothing to hide behind parading around in front of him in a swimsuit. Which, conveniently, she didn’t even own. “I’ve never bought a suit. Never had a reason to.” And now she was thanking god for that.

Her sweet, motherly, charitable boss whipped out her cell phone faster than Avery could whip out a credit card. Warp speed. “I’ll call Paige and tell her to bring over an extra.” She held the phone against her ear. “The woman must have twenty bathing suits.”

Of course she did. “Fabulous,” Ruby said, but Elsie was already busy explaining the situation to Paige.

Containing an uneasy sigh, she downed the rest of her tea. Between the deep water and Sawyer’s mistrust, she only hoped she wouldn’t drown tonight.

If there was ever a night he didn’t want to be late, this was it.

Sawyer sped into the rec center’s parking lot, fully aware that he was breaking the law—
really
breaking the law—but for once he didn’t care.

The big swimming lesson was supposed to start in ten minutes and he couldn’t let the kids down. It’d been quite the adventure on his shift today. He’d wanted to get off early, but then he’d gotten held up with a report of a shoplifter at the gas station. Once he’d caught up with the suspect, he’d discovered the kid had only pocketed some napkins from the snack bar, which didn’t exactly consist of stealing, seeing as how they were free.

Try explaining that to an outraged gas station owner.

He cruised around the front of the building and slowed the SUV. A woman stood by the entrance. He’d know that red hair anywhere. What was Ruby doing just standing there staring at the doors? He didn’t know, but at least she’d come. First thing he’d smiled about all damn day. After the interrogation in the kitchen, he didn’t think he’d see her tonight.

Not that he deserved to. He’d come on too strong. It killed him the way his suspicions always got the best of him. When he’d looked into her eyes, he knew it wasn’t her, but it was too late. He’d regretted ever bringing it up. Now he had the perfect opportunity to tell her that.

He swung the Tahoe into a parking spot up front and jogged over to her before she decided to leave.

She watched him approach, her face expressionless.

“You came.” He let genuine happiness breeze through the words. He hadn’t even realized how much he wanted her there until he’d seen her. As bad an idea as it was, he
wanted
to spend time with her. He wanted to know her. And tonight he was willing to screw practicality.

Ruby looked around as though noncommittal. “I’m actually still trying to make up my mind.”

“Would it help if I apologized?” He owed her that. She might be secretive, but she hadn’t done anything to him. Or the Walkers. He wanted to trust her, despite her secrets. He wanted to believe everything she said, that she was as good as she looked, but he’d been lied to before, and that made it hard.

Ruby eyed him. “You don’t owe me an apology. I know you’re only looking out for the Walkers.”

He stepped closer to her, gazing into her eyes until his pulse kicked up. “No.” He wasn’t about to let her excuse his bad behavior. “I shouldn’t have confronted you like that. I’m sorry.” He sensed a fearful vulnerability in her, and he’d been too harsh. Interrogating her wouldn’t help him scale her walls. “Sometimes I let my past color the way I see things,” he admitted so she’d know it wasn’t about her.

Her lips parted and she looked up at him, letting her gaze rest directly in his for maybe the first time. “That I can understand,” she murmured.

“So you’ll come in and help me teach the kids how to swim?” he asked, wanting her to hear the hope in his voice.

Her lips quirked. “I’m not sure how much help I’ll—”

“Sawyer?”

The voice he’d once known so well turned his shoulders to lead. Not now.
Please not now.

But sure enough, Kaylee paraded through the rec center’s glass doors clad in black workout pants so tight they had to be cutting off her circulation and a hot pink sports bra. Jace followed right behind her.

Of all the nights. Of all the moments. Of course he’d run into her now. When she could properly humiliate him in front of the only woman he’d had any interest in since the one standing in front of him made him look like a fool.

“Hi there!” Kaylee chirped like nothing had ever happened between them. Like they hadn’t lost anything. Like the ugliness of lies and angry words didn’t fill the space between them. She’d always been much better at pretending than him.

Jace at least had the decency to look awkward. He hung closer to the parking lot like he wanted to avoid a conversation. Not surprising, seeing as how the last time they’d talked, Sawyer had ended up throwing him out of the house in his underwear.

“I didn’t realize you were still in town,” Kaylee said to him before glancing at Ruby.

Ruby’s head tilted slightly, like she was figuring everything out. No introductions necessary, he was sure. She had to have heard all about Kaylee from Avery and Paige.

He shifted his gym bag to the other shoulder. “Haven’t left yet. Still have a month left at work.” And if he’d needed a reminder of why he should leave town, here it was. At least in Denver he wouldn’t run into Kaylee and his old friend, who was now her lover. Humiliation simmered beneath his skin.

Not taking the hint that he didn’t exactly feel like chatting, Kaylee started to babble about how quickly the house had sold.

“It was such a great house. I knew we’d have multiple offers,” she bubbled. “I told you those upgrades would help. You were so against them, but…”

He almost laughed. Leave it to Kaylee to make small talk. Like they’d never known each other intimately. Like all the years they’d invested in their relationship meant nothing to her. He almost wished he could feel the same way. But like it or not, that history was a part of him.

“I can’t wait until the check is in my bank account,” Kaylee went on. “I think I’ll book a vacation to Mexico…”

Before he could answer that he was glad their divorce would benefit her so much, Ruby’s soft, strong hand rested on his forearm.

He glanced at her, captivated by the way she smiled up at him, like the two of them had a secret. It might have been the first real smile he’d seen on her face, full of both compassion and understanding.

“We should get going. Don’t you think?” she asked in that lovable way she had. “The kids are waiting.”

Kaylee’s chin lifted as she sized up Ruby. She’d never liked being interrupted. “I’m sorry. I don’t think we’ve met.” Her smile bordered on a sneer.

“No. You’re right. We haven’t,” Ruby said in her sweet melody. Then she turned and tugged him through the rec center’s glass doors.

It was so unexpected that he laughed. Once they’d cleared the doors, he stopped and faced her. Searching her eyes, he saw more there than he’d bothered to see before.

“She didn’t deserve you,” Ruby said simply.

It was the nicest thing—the most genuine thing—anyone had said to him since the divorce.

“I’ll go change. Meet you in the pool area?” she asked.

He could only nod. She amazed him. In one moment she’d managed to do what no one else could’ve.

Every time he saw Kaylee he remembered what he’d lost. But Ruby’s touch had reached out and pulled him from the past. And now he remembered he still had a future to gain.