Heart of the Raven (5 page)

Sounds like a stall.

And your point is?

He cut off his internal dialogue then realized he hadn't moved since Cassie had jogged up the stairs. He should do something. If he put Daniel in his crib would he wake up? It was probably time for him to eat, anyway.

He paced. After a while he stopped at the bottom of the staircase. She'd had plenty of time to put her things away, so what was she doing?

He climbed the stairs and made his way down the hall. She'd left the door open. He should've announced his presence, he supposed, but he didn't want to startle Daniel.

He peeked into the room. She was standing at the window, the blinds not only open but raised, leaving a clear view of his property, overgrown and wild. He hadn't seen it from the upstairs angle for—well, for too long.

“Did you want something?” she asked, not turning around.

He'd wondered if she knew he was there. “Just checking that everything is okay with your room.”

She faced him. “It's great.”

“I'm across the hall.”

“Okay.” She walked toward him, her gaze on him until she got close, then dropping to the sleeping baby. “You're a natural,” she said.

“Cuddling is easy.”

“What's hard?”

He hesitated, then settled on the truth. “Remembering.”

She made a sound of sympathy but didn't make eye contact, for which he was grateful.

“MaryAnn took care of Kyle,” he said into the silence. “I thought the most important thing in my life should be providing for my family, so I gave more time to my work than my family. I wasn't part of Kyle's everyday life, especially as a baby. It'll be different this time.”

“Good. Although apparently you're a very busy man, much in demand. From what I saw on the Internet, you're at the top of your field.”

“Not the top, but I do okay. It's amazing how an odd-ball thing like being a recluse can have such impact. People are curious, which gets my foot in the door, so to speak. Then they like my designs.”

“How do you meet with clients?”

“They come here. I think they're disappointed be
cause I don't have a wild, overgrown beard and a crazy gleam in my eyes. My partner handles the engineering aspect—someone has to be on-site during construction. And a business manager handles the staff. I design.”

Daniel wriggled. Almost instantly he started to cry—loudly. Demandingly.

“I'll fix a bottle,” Heath said, starting to pass the baby to Cassie.

“Or I could fix a bottle and you could change his diaper,” she said, challenge in her eyes.

“Simple engineering.”

“Go for it. I'll warm the formula.” She pressed a kiss to the baby's head. “Daddy needs to learn sometime, doesn't he, Danny Boy?”

Danny Boy. At the endearment Heath almost pressed a kiss to
her
head. He didn't know what fates were at work when he called her boss and got her instead, but he was grateful.

Somehow he didn't think Quinn Gerard would've said yes to being a temporary nanny.

“I
think you should put the baby monitor in my room,” Cassie argued at eleven o'clock that night. They'd just settled Danny into his bassinet for what they hoped would be a couple hours of uninterrupted sleep.

“I'm his father.”

“I'm the help.”

“Reluctant help,” he said placidly.

She tapped her toe. It would drive her crazy staying in bed knowing Heath was up taking care of the baby. Call it maternal instinct, call it selfishness, call it a little crazy—she wanted to get up with Danny during the night. Frankly she wanted the bassinet put in her room.

On the other hand, she would need her light on, which might shorten his sleep cycle, or at least not allow him to get used to sleeping when it was dark. He needed
to learn to take his bottle then go back to sleep at night, not have playtime.

“We can take turns,” Heath said.

“How?”

“I'll put the monitor near my bedroom door. We can both keep our doors open. I'll get up with him the first time. You can take the second.”

If she left her door open he would know what a coward she could be, but since it was probably as much of a concession as he was going to make, she agreed to it. “We'll give it a shot.”

“Magnanimous of you.”

She laughed. He hadn't laughed yet, had barely smiled, yet he'd warmed up considerably with her. Maybe she didn't have to worry about there not being enough joy in Danny's life, after all. She only needed to make sure he would get out into the world—with his father, not a nanny.

“Well, good night, then,” she said.

“Good night.”

She closed her door. By the time she'd gotten ready for bed and opened her door again, he was already in bed. His door was partly open, his room dark. She hadn't noticed the silence of the house all day, even when Danny was quiet and she and Heath weren't talking. Now it seemed silent again.

Which was reasonable, of course, but it was a strange silence, not a comfortable nighttime silence. Just the different environment, she decided. And the doors were open, which seemed too intimate for two almost strangers. He could walk across the hall and into her room while she slept and she wouldn't know.

Cassie climbed into bed, the bathroom light spilling into her room. She closed her eyes, willing herself to relax.

She could walk across the hall while
he
slept, too, and he wouldn't know, either.

The idea intrigued her. What was it about him that appealed to her? His looks, of course. His intelligence. Success—that counted a lot with her. It wouldn't matter what job he had, just that he was successful in it and content with the job he did.

He'd been understating his reputation earlier. She'd learned he was one of the premier designers of skyscrapers in the country, maybe the world. He was sought after. People waited a long time for him to even consult with them on an initial design.

How was he going to incorporate a baby into that life? Especially without a wife. A nanny would be a big help, but it wasn't the same thing.

Maybe once he started getting out of the house he would open up emotionally again, meet a woman, date. Get married. Have more children.

She looked around the guest room. She didn't know much about furniture, but everything looked expensive. Rich woods polished to a gleam. A handmade quilt on the bed in a pattern she didn't know the name of but was probably something he picked up on a trip somewhere. The art on the walls wasn't bought at a garage sale, like hers.

Still, like the rest of the house, the room needed fresh flowers and that certain touch that comes from having someone around who cared about such things. She bought herself fresh flowers every Friday for her studio apartment, and considered them a necessity not a luxury.

Cassie smoothed the quilt, tracing the pattern with her fingertips. If she'd been at home on a normal Saturday night, she would've either been working—surveillance, probably—or going to dinner then maybe out to a club with friends. The sameness of it all was getting to her. She was twenty-nine years old, and restless. However, her job required more than a sixty-hour work week most of the time, and she didn't know if any man would accept the amount of time she put in. She'd lost a few potential boyfriends because of it. She hadn't cared. Until recently.

A light tapping on her door startled her.

“Can't sleep?” he asked, not entering her room, not even looking in.

He wouldn't know that she'd been trying to sleep. She sat up and grabbed her notebook from the night-stand, making it seem as if she'd been writing in it.

“Come in,” she said.

He wore a T-shirt and pajama bottoms, as covered up as she was in her pajamas, yet it seemed too familiar.

“You can't sleep, either?” she asked.

He shook his head. He didn't come into the room but stayed at the doorway, leaning a shoulder against it. “What you said earlier about being in foster homes—how old were you?”

She pulled up her knees and rested her back against the headboard. “Nine.”

“What happened to put you there?”

“My mother OD'd when I was five. My dad wasn't in the picture. My grandfather took me in, but he died when I was nine.” She saw sympathy in his eyes and didn't want it. “It's in the past, Heath. Over and done.”

“How many homes?”

She answered but had no plans to elaborate. “Seven.”

“Were you a problem child?”

“You could say that. I've changed.”

“I'm not sure.” He smiled so she knew he was joking.

“Depends on the circumstances. You jerked my chain, Mr. Raven, friend of Senator Sterling.”

“I'm not sorry.”

Over the monitor they could hear Danny fuss. She threw back her blankets.

“My turn,” he reminded her.

“But I'm awake, too. He shouldn't need to eat yet, so maybe just a little rocking back to sleep. I'm better at that than you are.”

“Bragger.”

“It's true.”

They faced off. She finally smiled. “How about if we go together?”

“What a novel idea.”

She laughed quietly, then hesitated a moment. Even though her pajamas weren't see-through, it would be apparent she was not wearing a bra. The only other option was to get dressed, which seemed silly and obvious and immature, even. For all intents and purposes they were doing a job together, and that was all.

“He's sounding very unhappy,” Heath said, his brows raised.

She stopped debating with herself. Her priority was Danny, after all. “Well, let's go cheer him up.”

 

Heath knew Cassie hated not being the one to hold Danny, but he wasn't about to let her take charge. This
was his son, and she wouldn't be there forever. He needed to learn how to care for Danny on his own, especially if he decided he only wanted day help.

Danny's crying was winding down. Heath paced the living room, bouncing him lightly, making soothing sounds. Maybe it had taken him longer than it would have taken Cassie, but Danny had finally settled down. Every once in a while he hiccuped but he was almost dead weight. Heath decided if he talked and Danny didn't wake up, he would be asleep enough to put back to bed.

He wanted to know more about her childhood. His own parents may have been a little on the flaky side, but at least he'd had a steady, loving upbringing. “Why wasn't your father in the picture?”

“I have no idea who he was. He was not named on the birth certificate, nor was I ever told a name.”

Heath sat across from her on the sofa. “How was it living with your grandfather?”

She smiled, reminiscence in her eyes. “He was old and sweet. He'd lost touch with my mom years earlier, and didn't even know that I existed, so he was a bit bewildered when the Florida child welfare people tracked him down here in San Francisco. I know I was a huge responsibility for him at a time in his life he didn't need any. Look, there was good and bad in my upbringing, as there is in everyone's.”

He heard the dismissal in her voice. A touchy subject for her. What happened? he wondered. If it had been a good experience, she would've said so. “Did you go to college?”

“Yes. I liked school.”

She was stingy with her answers. It made him want to know more. “You were a good student.”

“I decided I could be just as successful as anyone else. Maybe my hurdles were bigger than some, but they were also smaller than others. I didn't want to become a stereotype.”

“A stereotype? You mean as a product of the system?”

“Yes. I fought to stay at the same high school for all four years. Can we change the subject?”

“I'm interested because we lived such different lives. Why are you so defensive?”

“Because I don't look back.”

The way she plucked at her pajama bottoms led him to believe there was a lot more to say. How much more could he push her tonight? “What was your major in college?”

“Criminal justice.”

“Why?”

“I wanted to be a lawyer.”

“Why didn't you?”

“I ran out of money for law school, so I took the job as an investigator for Oberman, Steele and Jenkins. I ended up enjoying it. Didn't have to stay cooped up in an office or a courtroom all day.”

He wondered about that. He would bet she still had dreams of becoming a lawyer, probably defending children's rights. “How did you support yourself through college?”

“Jobs. Lots of jobs.”

He thought about his own college life. He'd gotten a full scholarship, only having to work for spending money.

She said nothing for a few seconds then angled toward him. “Danny's sound asleep. I think we should get
some sleep ourselves while we can. You never know how long the quiet will last.”

He didn't feel tired at all. He wanted to hear about her life, and how she'd carved out her own future. His path had been so much easier, with hardly a bump in any road. Except for Kyle—

“You're right.” He stood. “Let's hope he lasts longer than a half hour this time.”

He felt Cassie walking behind him to the nursery. He put Danny carefully into the bassinet, which was in the crib. Danny barely moved.

“Next time you can hold him. Even if I'm up,” Heath said.

“You figure we're going to come to fists over him?” she whispered, a smile in her voice, as they both leaned over the crib.

Heath turned his head toward her. She was barely a foot away. A sliver of light from the hall illuminated her face enough that she was all intriguing shadows. She went as still as a statue. He inched closer. Her gaze dropped to his mouth and lingered. She smelled of soap and toothpaste. He wanted to put his palms along her face, bring her close, touch his lips to hers. Slip his hands under her pajama top, feel her skin—

She straightened abruptly. “I don't— I mean…”

He pulled back. “Right. Yes. Of course.” What the hell was he doing? Wasn't that how he got into this predicament in the first place? Well, not exactly, but giving his long-starved libido free rein had something to do with it. He couldn't kiss her, couldn't make that mistake.

“I'll see you later,” she said then hurried off ahead of him.

He waited a minute, following more slowly, letting her go ahead without the potentially awkward moment of them standing outside their rooms.

An hour later Danny woke up. Heath let Cassie take over. The next time, two hours later, she slept—or pretended to sleep—while he fed and changed Danny.

As he walked Danny to sleep he glanced toward the stairs, wondering if she was awake and thinking about the kiss that had almost happened, that would have happened had she not stepped back, showing much more self-control than he had.

He really needed to get out of the house, he decided with a laugh at himself.

When he went to bed a few minutes later, he noticed her bedroom light was still on. He stood outside his bedroom for a few seconds, in case she called out to him.

She didn't, and he went into his increasingly lonely bedroom, wondering at all the changes in his life and what would come next. He was ready for the adventure.