Heart of the Raven (6 page)

C
assie didn't usually have leisurely Sundays, so the idea of having nothing to do but cook, eat and play with Danny seemed like a vacation. She hadn't taken one of those in a long time, either, although Quinn informed her she would be required to take three weeks a year, no argument, no postponing.

She hummed to herself as she flipped pancakes on the griddle to add to those already staying warm in the oven. She'd heard the shower running upstairs, so she figured Heath would make his way downstairs soon.

She needed to calm herself down before he got there. She'd almost kissed him last night. Almost shouldn't count, maybe normally it didn't. But last night it counted. She had a job to do. He was the client.

And yet earlier she had seen his gaze drift down her
a few times, not blatantly, but enough to feel his interest and to figure he knew she wasn't wearing a bra under her pajamas. Of course, she'd checked him out, too, and looked him over pretty thoroughly.

So she was nervous this morning. So what?

She drew a settling breath. Just slightly panicked, she looked around the room. Was she pushing too much by opening every drape and blind? If he didn't like it, she'd already figured out a way to get him to leave the blinds open. She'd also set the back porch table for breakfast. Too pushy, again? Probably. She didn't care. Whatever it took to help him get back to living. Danny needed that from him. What was he going to do—fire her? At least it would be a distraction from the almost-kiss.

It was almost eleven o'clock. Danny hadn't slept much during the night but had been asleep now for over two hours. Every fifteen minutes or so she would tiptoe in and check on him. He must've worn himself out finally.

She heard Heath coming down the staircase, his footfalls slow and steady. Her heart rate picked up. She wanted to see his face when he saw the outside light pouring in, to gauge for herself his reaction.

He came into the kitchen, his eyes riveted on the view.

She pulled the warm platter filled with pancakes and bacon from the oven to add the final pancakes. “Breakfast is ready,” she said, her pulse tripping, when he remained silent for too long. “I thought we could eat on the back porch.”

He met her gaze then didn't break the connection for several long seconds. “You've really moved in.”

She didn't miss all the implications of his words. “That's what you hired me to do.”

“It's my house, Cassie. My choices.”

She went to the refrigerator and took out the fruit plate she'd put together. “Well, I don't want to alarm you, but Danny looks a little jaundiced to me. He needs sunlight.” Although not much could break through his forest, anyway.

He gave her a look of disbelief, but would he call her on it?

“Do you drink coffee?” she asked quickly, not letting him take the conversation further.

“Yes.”

Tension continued to build, evident in the way his back went straighter and he crossed his arms. His jaw twitched.

“Let's fill our plates here then take them outside,” she said, undaunted. “Everything will get too cold otherwise.”

She grabbed the carafe of coffee she'd already brewed, and added cream and sugar and maple syrup, placing everything on a tray. “Butter for your pancakes?” she asked lightly, as if not noticing how distant he looked.

“No. Thanks.”

“Would you mind carrying the tray out? I'll fix our plates.”

She nudged the edge of the tray against his midsection. He grasped the handles. “I know what you're doing,” he said, his eyes almost a forest-green they'd darkened so much.

Well, she never thought he was stupid. “Is it all right?”

He made her wait an interminable amount of time. “I'm not sure yet.”

She rubbed his arm. His warmth penetrated his sleeve to heat her palm. Her heart raced.

“This is a bad idea,” he said quietly.

She pulled her hand back, disappointed but also surprised. She thought she'd begun to understand him.

“I don't mean your touching me,” he said. “Although that's part of it….” He let the sentence fade away. “I need you here. I don't want to do anything that would make you feel like you had to leave before everything is settled. I know you're here because of Danny.”

“Partly,” she said honestly. “I'm always a champion for kids. But….”

“But?”

“There's you, too.” She couldn't say more than that, because she didn't know what more to say. The jury was out on him. She only knew that she was drawn to him for a lot of complicated reasons and a few simple ones.

“I'm not attracted to you because I've been without a woman for so long,” he said. “You need to know that. Women come and go in my life, business contacts, like you. I've never felt this—this need, especially this fast.”

“So, we need to be careful.”

“Yes,” he said quietly.

“So, no touching.”

He hesitated. “I don't want to make rules. Do you?”

No. She didn't need the guilt that would come if they
broke
any rules. She shook her head.

He seemed to relax all at once. “Okay. We'll take it slow and easy. Deal with the issues at hand first.”

“Then when life settles down, we'll see where it goes from there,” she said. Although he was wrong, she thought. “Slow and easy” wasn't going to work for
them. The tension between them ratcheted up another notch hourly, it seemed. “Breakfast is getting cold.”

Awkwardness accompanied the meal, not only because of their discussion but because he was sitting outdoors. As they finished their second cups of coffee she closed her eyes, wishing the sun could find its way through the gloom surrounding his house.

“What would you be doing today if you weren't here?” he asked.

“If I'm not working, I spend Sundays volunteering at the O'Connor Children's Home.”

“What do you do?”

“I counsel mostly. Been-there, done-that kind of thing.”

“They'll be missing you today. Maybe you should—”

“No. I called in already. They know they can't count on me every week. My job takes me out of town quite a bit, but it's also just a matter of working very long hours.”

“You enjoy it, though.”

“No question. ARC takes on such a variety of cases. Well, maybe that's not exactly it. It's the clients that make it so fascinating. Celebrities, executives, politicians—they have a high-powered list, and the work is rarely routine.” She looked at him over the rim of her mug. “I heard you'd actually wanted my boss for your case.”

“I generally get the person at the top.”

“But you got me instead.”

He toasted her. “Even better.”

“Thanks.”

“I don't think your boss would've moved in and helped out with the baby.”

She thought he smiled. His eyes seemed to twinkle. “You wouldn't have asked him,” she countered.

“True.” He set his mug on the table and leaned back. “This has been nice.”

“I'm glad.”

“Were you worried?”

“Nah. I'm a pretty good cook when I set my mind to it.” She smiled. She knew what he meant, but chose not to respond to it. Of course she'd been worried that he would balk at sitting outdoors, but worry never stopped her from doing what was necessary.

Through the portable baby monitor they heard Daniel fuss.

“I'll clean up the kitchen,” Heath said. “You can get the baby.”

She pushed back her chair. “You just don't want diaper duty.”

He grinned.

Silence swooped in like a huge, noiseless, hovering bird. Her heart stopped. Triumph grabbed hold of her. She'd done that. She'd made him smile like that.

Now she needed to figure out how to do it again, and again, and again.

 

A couple hours later Heath wandered over to a window in his office and lifted a slat. He couldn't see Cassie and Danny, who were out enjoying a walk. Cassie had invited Heath along, but he wanted to use the time to get some work done. Or so he told her.

It was mostly true. He had plenty of work to do, although not much interest. That was a first.

He walked to the other end of the office and lifted a
blind there then spotted her. She was standing still, although swinging side to side. Heath wondered if Danny was awake.

He dropped the slat and stepped away, tunneling his fingers through his hair. His jaw hurt. Everything hurt. Stress was his constant companion, although not for a few minutes now and then today.

Cassie relaxed him just by being there. Except when she aroused him just by being there.

If he joined her and Danny outside he might be able to touch her, to put a hand under her arm when she came up the stairs. She wouldn't pull away over a simple touch like that, would she?

He liked how she stood up to him, liked the fire in her eyes when she did—and the way her posture changed. She stood a little taller, put her shoulders back and her chin up. A sexy stance, emphasizing her breasts. Yeah, he definitely wanted to join them in their walk.

He made the decision too late. The front door opened and closed.

He went down the stairs anyway to greet them. Danny's eyes were open. She plopped him in Heath's arms, said, “I'll be right back,” then headed toward the downstairs powder room.

He watched her until she disappeared, his gaze on her very sexy rear. He imagined his hands there, lifting her higher against him as they kissed—

He stopped the thought cold. Ideas like that could only lead to complications.

“Did you enjoy your walk?” he asked his tiny son, turning toward the living room, his attention solely on Danny. He didn't see any yellow tinge to Danny's com
plexion. The open drapes made it seem almost as if they were outdoors, which had been his original goal when he designed the house for the property, and why he'd named it
Raven's View.
He didn't focus on the surroundings, however, but on Danny. “She's something, isn't she?” he whispered to the boy. “A natural-born mom. And one beautiful woman.”

Danny arched his back. His tiny hands came out from under the blanket. He tucked them under his chin. Heath bent down and kissed the little fingers curled into fists, then his forehead, then each cheek, as his baby scent imprinted on Heath's brain. An image of Kyle flashed in his mind. His eyes burned. His throat ached. He barely remembered him as an infant, an unbearably sad realization. As a little boy he'd had hair as blond as Mary Ann's, but Heath's nose and mouth and green eyes.

Heath would've liked to compare the brothers, but he couldn't because Mary Ann had taken all the photo albums, leaving him nothing. Nothing except memories, and those were tainted by the final one.
Dad-dy!
Kyle's voice haunted him. Would always haunt him.

“Did you get some work done?”

Cassie had come up beside him.

He didn't want her to see him like this, but he couldn't escape, either. He lifted his gaze to her.

“Oh. Oh, Heath.”

The sympathy in her eyes was like a gut punch. She lifted a hand. He pulled back. Pushy as always she didn't back away. After a second she stroked his hair, her touch soothing. Too soothing. He didn't want to break down with her. He hadn't broken down. It was going to be ugly when—if—he did.

“Don't,” he said quietly.

As usual she didn't listen to him. She went up on tiptoe and pressed her lips to his, lightly, just a brush, really. He cupped the back of her head as she would have pulled away and drew out the kiss a little bit longer, then he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her against him, so that her head rested against his shoulder. Ah, the simple pleasure of human touch, of human warmth. It had been so long. So very long.

“Thank you for being here,” he said. “I'm not sure how well I would've done on my own.”

“You would be fine. You're quite relaxed with him.”

Because you're here, he thought, knowing it was the truth. How did single parents do it? Well, he was about to find out, and he probably had more financial resources than most single parents. But paying for help didn't relieve the anxiety of raising a child alone.

He let go of Cassie. “Do you have work you should be doing?” he asked.

“A little. Most has to wait until businesses are open tomorrow. I'll work the next time Danny naps, which should be soon.”

“You should nap. We both should.”

“You're probably right. Are you ready for some lunch first?”

“You don't have to wait on me.”

“I know.” She smiled. “We'll barbecue tonight. Let man build fire.” She grunted.

He smiled back as she walked away, her braid swinging back and forth, brushing the small of her back. He wanted to rest his hand there, in that gently curved hollow.

Too much fantasizing, he thought, not following her.
Time for a cold shower of sorts. He and Danny would watch the Forty-niners play on television. It was never too soon for a boy's first football game.

A
fter a short nap Cassie walked down the hallway and stood in the doorway of Heath's office. His back was to her, his attention focused on his computer monitor. The blinds were still shut. What will it take? she wondered. Why won't he open them? This was the one room she wouldn't push him about. Plus he probably wouldn't let her, anyway.

She didn't expect him to take leaps and bounds out of the emotional trench he'd been stuck in for years, but opening blinds seemed like a baby step.

She wondered whether she should say hello or go off and do some work herself. What she really wanted was to bring her computer into his office and work where she could see him, talk to him. Touch him. Especially that. It was getting harder and harder not to.

“You can come in,” he said, turning around, surprising her. “Did you sleep?”

“I did. How about you?” She hoped her need didn't show in her eyes as she took a seat at his worktable.

“I got enough to keep going.” He typed a few keystrokes, then gave her his full attention. “What's next, Cassie?”

“Um, pork tenderloin. Fresh asparagus that we can grill, too. Red potatoes, which I'll oven roast with some rosemary and olive oil.”

“I meant with Danny, but that sounds good.”

She smiled. “Sorry. I'm hungry.” She grabbed a pen from the tabletop and tapped it against her palm. “I've got the name of a reputable agency about getting a nanny. I'll contact them tomorrow. You need an attorney to spell out the legal details, but I'm sure you'll need DNA testing to prove paternity. There are some firms where you can mail samples in and get results in a week, but you'll want the chain of custody of the samples for your proof. It takes a little longer. Do you have a family attorney?”

“Yes. How do I get a copy of the birth certificate?”

“It'll be sent to the Office of Vital Records from wherever it was Eva gave birth.”

“Will I be able to access it?”

“She can't have put you down as the father, but don't worry about it. I've got a great relationship with that office. I'll work it out.”

Heath frowned. “Why couldn't she put me down as the father?”

“State law says the father's name can be reported on the birth certificate only if the parents are legally mar
ried or if the father agrees to give up his right to challenge paternity.”

“But I'm not challenging that right.”

“Did you sign a Declaration of Paternity form?”

“I didn't know such a thing existed.”

Eva should have known, though, Cassie thought. “As I said, we'll get it worked out. It would be helpful to at least talk with Eva.”

She decided to start dinner, because what she really wanted was to bombard him with questions. To understand him. To get a sense that he would return to the land of the living. She tossed the pen on the table as she stood. “You'll call the lawyer in the morning? Unless he's also such a good friend he would come here on a Sunday.”

He smiled. “He is, but I'll call him tomorrow morning instead. You seem to resent my contacts, Cassie.”

“I envy them. Anyway, he'll probably draw up a new document for Eva to sign, if you hear from her again.” She walked away.

“I expect I'll hear from her.”

At the doorway Cassie faced him. He sounded so sure. “Why?”

“Just a gut instinct. Maybe the way she looked at Danny before she ran off.”

“How was that?”

“Torn. Sad.”

Cassie's suspicions sprang up again. She doubted things were going to work out the way Heath wanted. Either the baby wasn't his, after all, or Eva would take him back. Cassie needed to decide how to lay the groundwork for those possibilities with Heath.

She leaned against the jamb. “What was she like during the pregnancy?”

“How do you mean?”

“Was she content? Excited? Afraid? Had she wanted to end the pregnancy? Did she seem to be looking forward to being a mother?”

“The pregnancy wasn't planned and we weren't married. It didn't exactly make for an ideal situation.”

“I understand that.”

He stood, too, and came close to Cassie. “She didn't tell me she was pregnant until after she could have terminated it, and we didn't talk about if she'd even considered it. If she had asked for my input I would've asked her to keep the baby and give him to me.”

“And her attitude?”

“I would say she wasn't excited but not afraid, either. I don't know how to describe it. She was different after she was pregnant, but I expected her to be different. The way she took off at the end stunned me. It was way out of character.”

“She seemed to want so little of you, other than money.”

He stood a little straighter. His expression hardened. “That's not entirely true. She wanted to share the pregnancy with me.”

“Maybe because you needed to share it, and she was reacting to your need.”

“Maybe.”

“Then she disappeared.”

“Yeah. And now there's pushy Cassie Miranda.”

“I'm looking out for Danny.”

“I figured that out for myself. You don't have the world's best poker face when it comes to my son.”

But was Danny his son? Cassie wondered. “Kids deserve—”

He put a finger to her lips for a moment. “Yes, they do. I'm trying, Cassie. I know you haven't told me…half? A tenth? Of what you went through in foster care, but I know a lot of it wasn't good. I hope you'll share it with me sometime.”

She'd blocked much of it and never wanted to relive it. But plenty of kids had been in worse situations than she. “I wasn't sexually abused,” she said, giving him that much. But trust? That was a different issue. As hard as she tried, putting her faith in anyone other than herself was next to impossible, at least
complete
faith.

“I'm glad to hear that.”

“I—” she jerked a thumb over her shoulder “—need to start dinner.”

Still she didn't move. Neither did he. They looked into each other's eyes, searching for…what?

“What happened to you in those homes?” Heath asked, his hand brushing hers.

“Give me a half hour to get things going, then you can start the grill,” she said. She spun away from him.

“We're quite a pair, aren't we, Cassie?”

“Yeah.” She got the word out but that was all. She hurried down the stairs, her boot heels pounding. Danny let out a wail. She detoured into his room, swept him into her arms and held him close, resting her cheek against his head.

She was already in too deep with this child—and this man. She shouldn't stay.

But she couldn't go.

Would she ever be able to?

 

“You're right. This document would never hold up in court,” Heath's lawyer said the next afternoon before taking a bite of pasta salad. Kerwin Rudyard had given up his lunch hour to drive to Heath's house. Cassie had gone into the city to work but hadn't gotten back in time to meet Kerwin.

“Then I need you to draw up a document that will,” Heath said.

“I can draw it up, but you need to know this will be an uphill battle. She's going to have rights, if she changes her mind.”

“I assumed as much. I want to protect Danny as much as I can. Could she take him away entirely?”

“Let's not concern ourselves with that just yet, Heath. One step at a time. First step, a lab technician will come take samples for DNA testing. We want to be sure of the chain of custody, so you don't have to repeat any steps in future and slow down the process.”

“Yes, Cassie told me that.”

“Cassie?”

“Cassie Miranda, a P.I. with ARC Security and Investigations.”

“I'm familiar with the agency. You're paying top dollar but you're getting top performance.”

“I can tell.”

“I've known Quinn Oliver for years, before we knew his name was Quinn.” He chuckled. “One of the best undercovers— Well, anyway, you're in good hands.”

“I'm sure of it. What's the second step?”

“You need to find Eva.”

“Cassie's working on it. Can you get the birth certificate?”

“If you won't go in person to the Office of Vital Records, I'll need a sworn statement from you, notarized, but not until the DNA testing proves you're the father. The birth certificate probably can't have reached their office yet, so we'll deal with that later. A lot can happen between now and then.” Kerwin folded up his napkin and laid it beside his empty plate. “Thanks for lunch.”

“Thanks for coming. It was great seeing you, although we could've handled this over the phone.” He followed the silver-haired man to the door. They'd known each other for fifteen years. Heath had forgotten how much he enjoyed Kerwin's company.

“We could've, but I wanted to see for myself how you were doing.” He cocked his head. “You're better.”

“Getting there. As much as I ever will, anyway.”

“Have you forgiven yourself?”

Heath shook his head. There was nothing to say.

Kerwin started to walk away, then turned back. “Did you hear that Mary Ann is getting married?”

The news barely registered on his emotional Richter scale. “We don't stay in touch.”

“No, I guess you wouldn't. Oh, something else—who becomes Danny's guardian if something happens to you?”

Heath's mind went blank.

“Think about it,” Kerwin said into the silence.

Heath moved into the yard when his friend drove off, seeking a small pool of sunshine. He closed his eyes and lifted his face. Pleasure assaulted him—a healing
warmth, the tempting lure of one of the most basic needs in life, to feel the sun on your face. Peace seeped into him, even with all the unknowns ahead.

He heard a car approach, saw Cassie coming up the driveway. He needed to do something about the overgrowth. It had gotten thick enough to scratch car paint. Why hadn't anyone said anything?

Which was a rhetorical question. No one criticized him. Only Cassie had come close, by opening blinds without asking him first, her criticism silent but obvious.

He watched her get out of her car and come toward him. Damn but he loved to watch her walk. A slow pace might be considered sexy by some people, but her long strides and quick pace turned him on. A lot.

“Did you get everything taken care of at the office?” he asked.

“I got footwork done. I'll make some phone calls from here. I want to touch base with Eva's roommate, Darcy, again. She's our best hope. If Eva gets in touch with anyone, I think it'll be Darcy.” She set down her briefcase and took off her jacket. “How's Danny?”

“He was cranky for a while when Kerwin first got here. He took a bottle and went back to sleep. Been down for half an hour.”

“What did your lawyer have to say?”

“Pretty much repeated everything you said.”
Except he wants to know who would be Danny's guardian.
“And he's heard of you.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“He said your firm has one of the worst reputations in the city, and what the hell was I doing hiring incompetents?”

She looked surprised, then she laughed. “You made a joke!”

“I've been known to, on occasion.”

“Keep it up.” She lifted her face to the meager ray of sunshine. “There's nothing like September in San Francisco.”

Bathed in sunlight she seemed to have an angelic aura, yet he knew she was tough. Maybe
strong
was a better word. Maybe both. Except for her devotion to Danny, she didn't let much emotion show. Because she was being professional or because her past had blighted her emotionally?

“I contacted the agency about hiring a nanny,” she said casually but her gaze was direct. “I made an appointment for you tomorrow with the director. She'll be here around ten o'clock so you can interview each other.”

His gut clenched. He wasn't ready for that. He didn't want to share his home with anyone—except Cassie. “Great,” he said, turning toward the house. “Thanks.”

“We'll find someone you're comfortable with,” she said behind him.

He nodded, and kept walking.

 

Danny wouldn't stop crying. They walked and walked, talked and talked. Cassie even sneaked him into another room and sang to him. Nothing helped. Finally she said to Heath, “I'm taking him for a drive.”

“No.”

“It should calm him down. Most babies respond to it.” She knew he didn't want Danny out of his sight—she was also counting on it. He would come along. Take a drive with them. Open up his world a little.

“I'm a good driver,” she said, pretending to let him think that's what he was worried about.

Danny let out a wail. “All right, already,” Heath said. “A ride. But I'm going, too. And don't for one minute think I don't know what you're doing.”

She liked him more every hour. His confinement would've broken a lesser man, but he'd dealt with his grief in his own way. She respected that, even as she respected the take-charge man who refused to let her be boss.

They had put the base of his car seat in her car the day before, in case they needed to go somewhere in a hurry, so all they had to do was lock his carrier into the base and they were ready to go.

Heath climbed into the passenger seat.

Cassie tried not to look at him, except she could see his fingers pressing into his thighs as she started the engine and pulled out. She wouldn't ask if he was okay. If he wasn't, she expected him to tell her, but she wouldn't give him an easy out.

It wasn't quite seven o'clock. There was daylight left. She wanted him to see what he'd been missing.

Danny quieted down fast, so fast that she was afraid Heath would want to go back home, but he didn't say so. Except for giving her directions, he remained silent.