Heart Song (17 page)

“You say that as if you two are friends.” It came out as suspicious.

“I wouldn't go that far. Which speaking of...seriously?
Marren?
Of all people, you are in love with Marren?” His was just as full of disbelief as I was when I first realized it.

“Completely,” I said.

A large rumble of thunder boomed overhead.  The storm was upon us. “We better run.”

I kicked my feet, throwing up a few chunks of gravel in the process. I heard Danst right behind me. Neither of us stopped until we crossed through the door and well into the corridor of the palace.

Our eyes met, instantly it brought back memories of prior, less complicated days. A fit of laughter over took us.

“Come on, I'll show you around,” I said.

“No need. I've already been given the tour,” Danst replied.

I raised my eyebrows. “Well, I guess you should make yourself at home.” I bent over myself as a round of cramps sliced through my stomach again. “I have to go,” I panted. “I'll be back later.” I struggled to make it to my room before collapsing from the pain.

***

I watched the storm pass by with Danst sitting in the chair across from the table. He was still afraid of me seeking revenge for setting me up, and wasn't sure of the new me as a werewolf.  He seemed more relaxed as soon as his eyes rested on my sword.  He busied himself as he twirled it, balancing the cap on the tips of his fingers, and inspected every inch of it. 

The storm vibrated through me. Every rumble of thunder, every crash of lightning I felt, increasing as the strongest part loomed overhead. I rubbed my arms continuously and jumped each time the lightning struck. Finally
Marren appeared, feeling pity for me, and took me to the bench to sit with him wrapped in his arms.

“Storms, ceremonies, anything else you'd like to tell me you're afraid of?” He sounded amused.

You mean besides losing you?

Yes, besides that. You shouldn't even fear something that won't happen.

“Commitment,” Danst offered.

I shot him a glare. He sulked into his chair laying my sword on the table.

“Commitment?”
Marren asked.

“Not in the sense that he said it in,” I said to my defense.

“Ah, I see. That does put a bit of a rut in my plans,” Marren mused.

“What plans?” I asked too fast.

Marren chuckled. “Yes, Enid also told me you dislike surprises as well.” I sat up and looked at his beautiful werewolf face and waited for him to continue. I felt a jolt of hesitation pulse through him. Following a heavy sigh, he said, “You said you would marry me.”

“I said someday and not traditionally, without a ceremony, and privately.”

“What is your fear of having a traditional ceremony? I know you won't leave me and you know very well that I can't leave you. What's the problem?”

“You tell me? Why do you have to have something traditional in order to be happy?”

“The ways of my people are very important to me. That includes traditions and ceremonies.”

I heard Danst stand up and feign a stretch. Then he walked to the balcony to watch the storm some more. “I don't see the point in having someone place
themselves
into the middle of a perfectly good relationship and dividing the lovers instead of uniting them. Something I thought you and I already were.”

“In some views perhaps, but it's important to me, to do things the right way as much as possible. Especially concerning the sensitive nature of our union.”

I stood up and walked towards the fireplace. I felt suddenly cool and wanted to warm up by the fire.
I don't want traditional. And ceremonies make me uncomfortable. That doesn't mean that I fear them. But if I were to agree to your terms, there can be no middle man.

I felt Marren approach my side. “It's a simple as having Danst preside, if you so wish.”

“Please, leave me out of it, she hates me enough as it is,” Danst said.

“I don't hate you Danst. I know you and I understand the reasons behind what you did and have already forgiven you for it. So stop sulking and cheer up!”

Whether it was my words that had finally convinced him or the light of the fire reflecting off of them, but Danst’s eyes lightened and seemed less heavy with guilt.

“What is it that I have to do?” I asked Marren.

“Follow a simple ceremony in front of my people where we are presented together and make public our intentions to remain together forever.”

“That's it?” I asked.

Marren smiled. “Well, that's all you'd be willing to give.”

“Okay,” I whispered.

“Okay,” Marren said.

A knock at the door caused all three of us to stand straight, and then Enid opened the door and stepped in. He walked to the center of the room with Marren meeting him half way. The look on Enid’s face was serious. Danst approached me cautiously, watching me as if he couldn't believe his eyes.

“What is it?” I asked, more concerned of his disbelief.

“You've changed so completely that I hardly recognize you.”

“It happens when you become a werewolf.”

“No, I mean, besides that.”

“You should blame Marren and the enchantment on this place. I can't explain it any better than that. Marren literally swept me off my feet.”

“I guess love really does change a person.” His words seemed distant. I opened my mouth to say something but he stared into the fire, looking like he was lost in his thoughts, all traces of emotion gone from his face.

“Danst, I will take you to your room now,” Enid said.

He walked towards Enid, who was standing next to the door waiting for him. His green eyes fell on me. “Good night Relena, it’s good to see you again.”

I rushed to him and wrapped my arms around him. “I'm glad to have you back as well, Danst.”

I released him, exchanging my embrace of him for the hand of Marren and watched as he walked out the door. As soon as we were left alone, I turned towards him, standing as close as I could. “What do you want to do now?”

“We should get some good sleep. It's almost an entire day's journey to the cross over and I want to be there
before sun down.”

“We’re leaving so soon?”

“I have to return. We only stayed this long for you.” He led me by the hand to the bed.

I
laid
on my stomach on top of the covers. Marren sat next to me until the storm was nearly over and then left, claiming he had things to tend to. I fell asleep wondering why he refused to touch me. I pushed back the pain as much as I could to keep it from him, but the truth was, it hurt.

***

From the balcony, I took one last glance over the trees and the mountains in the distance. The sun rose beyond the thick layer of clouds that still loomed above, threatening more rain. The rain I didn't mind, but storms bothered me. Rain nurtures and bathes the land where as storms are so strong and destructive they break trees and destroy homes.

I inhaled the smell of the flowers from below in the garden. I held onto the breath for a few moments and slowly let it out, then turned, leaving the room without another glance.

Outside, our group waited for the time to leave. Raden stood closest to the door, clear of soot, leaving his red puffy cheeks visible under his black beard. In place of his tattered, soot covered clothes, he wore a short chain mail vest with a breast plate strapped to him and an axe resting on his shoulder. He took one look at me with his bright green eyes that twinkled. “Well, there she is, looking fine and rested!”

I smiled. “Thank you very much Raden, the same to you as well!”

“Good morning, Relena,” Danst said, stepping up to me.  He rubbed his hands together, then interlocked his fingers and rested them on the back of his head.

“Hello, Danst. Did you sleep well last night?”

“I did.
You?”
 

I shook my head.

“Come on now with the pleasantries,” Marren said, walking up and taking everyone's attention.  I couldn’t be sure if he was being playful or serious.

Enid stepped up to my side and elbowed me. I smiled and elbowed him back with a little more force. He gave a grunt, bending over in exaggeration,
then
stood straight.

“This will be Relena's first cross over. I want to make it back before the sunset. If she changes one last time in this phase, I want to do it in the shelter of the cave. Are we okay with that?” Marren asked.

Everyone nodded.

“My servants have already left to prepare living spaces for us when we arrive. It keeps our party smaller and less noticeable. I've been seeing quite a few hunters around so let's be mindful of traps,” Marren added. 

I watched Marren speak and realized he was deliberately avoiding my gaze. My heart sank a little more, making me wonder what it was I did wrong. I felt the stabbing sting of tears nipping at my eyes. I turned my back to the group and tried to blink them away. If necessary, I could blame the lack of sleep. I didn't pay much attention to the rest of what he said but started walking when everyone else did. At least Danst stayed by my side.

“Did something happen between you two last night?” Danst asked.

“I don't know. I don't think so, why?” I asked.

“It's like he's purposefully trying to keep his distance from you,” Danst observed and obviously saw how much it affected me. Trying to get me to talk about it as he usually did, but I wasn’t in the mood.

“I'm sure he has a reason. This trip has had him on edge for several days,” I said, hoping it would be enough.

“Didn't you ask him about it?” Danst asked.

“No. He'll talk to me when he's ready. He's good about that,” I said.

“Danst, come up here to lead the line please,” Marren said. We both knew better than to think it was a request.

“Duty calls,” Danst said.

I smiled and watched him jog up to the front of the line. He stepped into the forest first with Raden in tow, then Marren, Enid, and finally,
myself
.

The terrain was slick and soggy from the storm that had passed through the night before. Even the air was thick and hard to breathe. The moisture caused my robes to stick to my back and legs.

It wasn’t long before I couldn’t stand the silence between us anymore. I had to know what was going on.

Did I do something that upset you?
I asked.

No.

Is there a reason for not acknowledging me then?

I'm acknowledging you.
He said, but I wasn’t convinced.

You're ignoring the fact that I'm behind you and you have done very little in the way of acknowledging me.

Now is not the time, Relena.
Even in thoughts, his words were tinged with anger.

I shoved back the pain that inflicted my heart and made it feel like a few more cracks appeared and a few chips fell off. Then I did what I normally do when I get hurt, I got angry. He had the nerve to avoid me and not give me a
reason.

I think I at least deserve some form of explanation. Don't you think?
I asked.

Relena, I need time to sort out my thoughts. Can we talk later?

No.

Gvgeyu, please?

I shoved my way through the trees in an uphill climb.
Grunting with a few of th
e steps
.
Nope. I'm not a woman of convenience. You should know that. And if you were going to be so turned off by me coming with you, you should have said something.

I tried to talk you out of it. Please just let me get everyone to the cross over safely.

I stopped moving and stared at the ground.
So that’s it? You didn’t want me to be with you after all?

He ignored me.

We reached level ground with uneasy silence. A thick silence—not just from my heated anger with Marren being so cold shouldered, but from within the woods itself.  Nothing moved. Not a leaf in the breeze or a blade of grass.
Nothing.
No sounds, no movement.

Stay close to me.

Oh, so now you want to acknowledge me?

Relena, please, now is not the time.

Seems like it’s never the right time with you.

He turned and stared coldly at me. I stuck my tongue out at him with my arms crossed over my chest. I didn't even try to hold back my anger and hurt over the way he was acting towards me. He shook his head and turned around slowly.

“Just give me a reason, Marren,” I said in as calm of a voice as I could muster.

Enid and Raden glanced behind them. They turned forward and kept on walking, following a gesture from Marren. His eyes fell on me with a chill that froze me in place. I tried to force away the pain his look brought and only focused on the anger.

“
Relena,
now is not the time to talk about it. Wait, please?”