Heart Song (18 page)

“You made me believe in a love that didn't exist in this world for anyone else. And here you are turning your back against me, like everyone else in this pathetic, miserable excuse for an existence.” I spoke in low even tones, stressing every single syllable. “You want time to sort out your thoughts? Fine by me, but I can't guarantee that I will be willing to accept you back.” I stepped forward, moving past him.

“Relena,” Marren said.

I ignored him.

“Relena, wait.” He grabbed my arm and forced me to turn around.  I glared at him. “Why do you take my mood personally? I'm not trying to avoid you and I'm not meaning to be cold to you, why are you reacting this way?”

“Now
you're
the one that's blind,” I said and stomped off.

We moved to a
path that curved between mountain peaks and followed it to the mouth of a massive cave. It looked like it could span the entire width of a dragon—wings spread wide, had they still existed on this realm.  The cold in the wind this high up forced me to wrap my arms around myself. I shrugged off any attempt by Marren to try to warm me. Danst, Enid, and Raden walked along the left wall of the cave towards the darkest part.

“Better be moving along soon, the both of
ye
,” Raden called behind him. His image was swallowed in the liquid like blackness, promptly taking Enid's form as well. Danst had gone before. 

I leaned against the wall of the cave and waited for the remainder of the day to disappear.

“Are you going to ignore me forever?” Marren asked.

I had been ignoring him. Every attempt to speak to me in my head and every slight effort he made to touch me. I stared at him coldly. “You were the one that made me feel like I did something wrong. Ever since last night you have been cold and distant.”

A thought occurred to me that gave me an idea on why he was so distant. “Is it because I won't give you the traditional you want?”

“What? No. That's not it at all.”

“Then what is it?”

“I've been trying to tell you that there's nothing wrong but you won't accept that. You're convinced that I'm avoiding you.”

“Then answer me this, why won't you touch me? Why won't you kiss me or even look at me? You've been avoiding my gaze this entire day and trying to avoid talking about it.”

“You are just going to have to wait until I can sort out my thoughts about it, okay?”

“No, it's not okay.”

“Relena, please...”

“I'm not convinced I've done nothing. You're standing too far away from me even now.”

“I can't. Please, I just can't.” There was a desperate, trying emotion coming from him.

“If I've done nothing, why not touch me or look at me…or even just talk to me?” I asked, no longer able to force the pain in my heart away. Tears blurred my vision and ran down my cheeks.

“Because I can't focus when you're near and I needed to be able to make sure no one was following us. I needed to be able to ensure I got you here safely!”

I knew it was only part of the reason, but I bought it still. My anger dissipated along with the resolve I had clung to. “You could've told me that in the first place instead of making
me
feel like I had become diseased and withered.”  I felt the pain of changing creeping in and started to shake. It was hurting just as much as it had the first time and I feared it would be the same this time.

“Don't fight it, you'll make it worse.” Marren's voice flowed over me in a slurred wave of liquid air. I only barely heard him and understood even less of it as the cramping intensified.

The pain had grown so intense that my knees gave out, forcing me to the ground.  I laid there and endured wave after wave of the same horrific pain that I had gone through on the first night. I kept thinking of the words:
The pain becomes less each time.
It didn't seem to work. I felt just as raw and reduced to nothing until it subsided on its own time.

“Now what?”
I panted, feeling a peacefulness wash over me. The torture of changing ebbed further away.

“We cross over.”

He helped me to stand and then let go of me so I could walk on my own. “Still convinced I'm going to get us killed, huh?” I asked sourly.

“Stop, Relena.”

“Perfect, I get to cross over feeling like a thorn in your side,” I muttered under my breath and crossed my arms over my chest.

Marren grabbed my arm and pulled me into him, pushing his lips into mine so fiercely I could taste blood. He wrapped his arms tighter around me as if he was trying to merge our bodies together.

I can't touch you like I want, and I can't kiss you like I want. I can't be with you like I want and I can't do it for reasons I can't explain right now. But I will, I promise. Just not right now. I'm just not sure how much you are receptive to yet. Let's just get crossed over first, okay?

I couldn't think to answer; I was so consumed by his kiss. So overwhelmed with the fierceness and the way he rushed, making it hard to keep up. The emotions that he pushed through me, the extreme passion and desire that overrode my own, filled me to the brim and the sadness that he felt because of something that prevented him from being able to let go and give in.

I'm yours completely, no matter what. I wish you'd understand that. You should know by now that you don't have to be afraid of
telling me anything. You shouldn't have to feel like you have to keep yourself away from me either. All you have to do is tell me you can't and stay by my side. Otherwise, it hurts. 
A stray tear fell down my cheek, mingling with our lips. The salty taste added to the blood and didn’t stop us.

He pulled away looking deep into my eyes. I felt his gaze deep in my soul—even with the little light that was left. He reached down and wrapped his arm around my legs and lifted me into his arms. I wrapped mine around his neck and rested my head on his shoulder as he stepped into the black ink filled chasm, towards the world that mortals could never see.

The blackness was thick and felt just as liquid as it looked. Marren's steps remained sure.  The liquid didn’t even make us wet. With the fading of the rushing water that had filled my ears as soon as he walked through, a new sound took its place. The sound of a forest, awakened and moving, just like on the mortal realm. With birds singing, flapping wings, hooting of animals in the distance, and a shallow sound of a waterfall close by. 

I held onto Marren as he stopped outside of the cave that mirrored the entrance on the other side. Although on this side of the entrance, there were figures depicting all the Ancients, standing guard to protect the magic this realm offered.

Everything was as it was on the mortal realm with only a few differences. This place was wild and free. Lacking in the control of human hands that governed where trees would grow and where houses would sit.

Marren lowered my legs to let me stand on my own, keeping a hold of my hand. I stared in awe at everything around me that was glowing with an aura much brighter than the mortal realm’s. Everything was lined in a bluish-green glow. Even the stars were brighter and the moon more brilliant.

There were sounds of strange birds and creatures that skirted in between the trees. Upon the mountains around us were a few glowing lights of fires. Even the smell of the forest was thick with a sweet and heady scent that carried on a slight breeze.

“What do you think?” Marren asked, bringing my hand to his lips for a kiss.

“There are no words that can describe what I think.”

He chuckled under his breath. “Come on, the others are waiting for us. See them?
Up the road, just ahead?”
He pointed ahead of us.

I peered down the road and saw a small group of huddled figures. They were waitin
g for us to join them with aura
s faintly lined in bluish-green. I nodded. Marren pulled me behind him while I took in everything that surrounded me. Overcome with the magnificence and beauty.

“Follow me and stay close, it is likely we will bump into some unpleasant things on the way to our home.”

I clung to him tightly as we walked slowly. The path ended abruptly as small tendrils of dirt fingered into the line of trees that stopped the path from going further. Marren stepped through, pulling on my hand but I didn't move. He looked over his shoulder. His eyes were full of worry.
What is it?

The path just...ends?

He let out a chuckle that forced my heart to dance. “It's for our protection, just in case someone manages to get through.”

“I thought it was impossible for a mortal to make it through?”

“Mortals aren't the only thing we have to worry about here. Besides, it would be really hard for a mortal to make it through the cross over without getting lost. It can be a very disorienting experience. The last thing we want is for someone to just happen upon our world and go off telling others about it.”

He turned to face me, his dark hair falling along his shoulders. His dark skin shone silvery in the moon's light. But his face, the wolf part, was increasingly shadowed. His eyes beckoned me and I felt, through him, his excitement and elation to be home.

I felt unreasonable in my anxieties. I was one of them, not just some mortal who happened to glimpse the world only meant for those who live within it. I smiled, feeling the sharp points of my teeth bite into my lip slightly and uprooted my feet from the ground they seemed attached to as I walked through the boundary of trees.

***

We walked for what seemed like hours. I paused to look at strange flowers and smell their perfumes, some of which Marren had stopped me from doing, saying something to the effect of being killed by the poisonous fumes or getting a festering wound from a thorn.

“You're going to have to teach me about your world and its secrets before I roam into a dragon-occupied cave and find myself eaten by it.”

“That would be extremely hard to do.” There was a chuckle he was trying to hide in his words. “Dragons no longer exist, even in our realm.”

“Oh, how sad.”

“It is not your fault. Just a consequence of what we had to endure before the move here.”

Our conversation ended as a part in the trees opened up to a clearing. As we continued through, I noticed a
number of paths that led up to a set of stairs, one for each path, which rose to a large round pavilion. The pillars gleamed in the moonlight. Topping them was another band of stone, round and hollow in the center. On the platform was a round table carved from the same stone and topped with a polished stone band. The center was left open. I could only imagine what its use was for. Surrounding the table were chairs, carved from the ground up. Each one had a unique design and was extremely intricate.

“
Dwarven
craftsmanship, lass.
Finest in this or any other realm!”
Raden's voice boomed through the clearing, over the trees and bounced against the mountains and returned to us.

“It's indeed the most impressive detail I've seen yet,” I agreed.

“Or ever will,” he added.

“This is the meeting stone,” Marren said, drawing my attention to him. “It was built by all of the Ancients. Not just the Dwarves, though you can clearly tell who had a hand in what.”

He moved around the table and made it to a chair that had a tree sprouting from the stone. Its trunk bent to make a seat and two branches reached out to form the arms. At the head, the top of the tree, there was a full moon, cresting over the leaves. Unlike the carvings in the marble palace I had come to call home, this one didn't move.  I frowned.

“Do you not like it?”

My eyes met his, filled with concern with the sudden worry that was thick in his voice. “I love it. I just thought that it would move like the carvings on the mortal realm.”

He smiled. “Is that all?”

I nodded.

He pulled me into him and planted a kiss on my forehead. “This is the only place where magic can run free and do as it wishes. The carvings you saw back on the mortal realm are only mere enchantments to impress you and introduce you to my world. Here, those things aren't needed.”

A snapping sound, like a branch being broken off of a tree, sounded through the silence. Marren's head snapped up. Everyone surrounded me. Below, at the base of a set of stairs in front of us, dark shadows shifted like liquid tar with a pale glowing line. Marren's grip on me tightened. A growl filled his throat.

Panic filled me. I stepped behind Marren and searched the blackness seeing too many things darting in and out, the thin lines of their auras blending together to form a moving mass that was unrecognizable.

Marren?

Stay behind me.

What is going on?

Just. Stay.
Behind.
Me.

I clung to him, wrapping my arms around his torso and peeking around his shoulder at what looked like a large group of dwarves. There was a blurring line of movement that was beyond the group. The movement drew my attention as the lines skirted and moved with shadows dipping behind trees and thick bushes.