Heart Song (28 page)

“Thank you,” he said.

“I thought you died back there, what happened?”

His cat eyes, green and bright, peered at me quizzically. As if he realized my thoughts, he smiled slightly and whispered, “It was a close one, but I managed.”

I nodded. “You should have let me thank you for saving my life.”

“Commander!”
A harsh and raspy voice entered the tent.

“What is it now?” asked Gurth.

“A few of my men thought they heard something just before I called them in. They went searching for an intruder and found some vomit on the outside of our camp.”

Tobias stiffened behind me. I looked back towards him. His jaw was set as he slowly shook his head with cold eyes. He stood up and I followed, nearly falling over from the rush of blood to my legs. Tobias caught me with the look an adult would give a small child who just knocked over a pile of plaster pots in the market place. He strapped on his cloak and then grabbed my hand, pulling me behind him as he started to run. I tried to step where he stepped but it was no use. I snapped a branch and sent the whole encampment on alarm.

We ran through the plains, ducking inside the small cluster of trees Tobias's cloak got caught on. We waited until the goblins lost interest, which was very quickly as a loud horn sounded through the air, calling off the search.

“You should be more careful,” Tobias said finally.

“I'm sorry. I'm not quite at my full capability just yet.”

“I'm sorry as well. I heard of Marren's fate.” He looked at me from the corner of his eyes, “And yours as well.”

I nodded. “He's with the elves. They won't let me see him. But I think if we could just let them—”

“That is a very unwise decision.”

“Why?” I asked, feeling my blood start to warm with rage again.

“Because the elves don't like to concern themselves with the affairs of the other races.
They would not respond to you even if the goblins were at their doorstep.”

“But—”

“Be patient.” He knelt down and picked up a twig, twirling it in his hands. His tail swayed back and forth. “I've been watching that encampment for days now. I have alerted the other races. They are on their way. I'm sure Jiren will
find out that Marren is missing by now and will launch the attack sooner than later. So you should do yourself some good by getting as much rest as you can get.
And staying here.
You'll only get yourself killed.”

“I'm a fighter, and I refuse to be treated like a child.” I felt like stomping my feet to add to my stubborn tantrum, but I knew that would only cause him to laugh at me, if not become more determined to not give me a weapon.

“I've heard of your fighting skills, but you are still weak.”

“That's a first,” I muttered.

“I meant you are weakened from Marren's condition and your unborn child.” His tone was that of a patient elder, explaining the ways of the world to a child who just couldn't understand.

“Fine.”

By nightfall, crews of
dwarves, centaurs, and other therianthropes had arrived and made camp inside and around the small cluster of trees. Raden had Danst with him and Enid was training with the other werewolves. Tobias worked with the others as I sat and watched. As helpless as I felt, it made me feel good to know that Jiren would find out the races of this world weren't going to give up without a fight. Ildir went to the elves to speak with Joe'n and Blyl, who remained reluctant to allow those who followed him, the serpentines and drakes, to enter the fight. He seemed rather neutral to the whole idea. It bothered me.

As the hours passed, so did my apparent weakened state. I found a werewolf who wouldn't disobey me for anything and requested a sword of which he was more than happy to give. Jiren isn't the only one with persuasion. I also managed to talk him into sparring with me. It felt good. The more I fought, the better I felt. Like fighting fed my soul.

I disarmed my opponent and looked up in time to see Tobias had observed my skills in action. Whether he was shocked, amazed, or neutral, I had no idea. He kept his demeanor level and moved on quickly without telling me to stop. Not that I would have listened.

But my opponent needed a break. I gave up fighting, taking a seat on a nearby fallen tree and started to sharpen my sword. As I did so, I felt something deep inside me. It felt like butterflies in my stomach, but lower.
Flutter, flutter, flutter.
Then it stopped. My hand went instinctively to my lower abdomen. A stronger flutter returned. I didn't know much about pregnancy, but it seemed awfully early to feel the baby move.

I looked up, just as Okelo approached. She was smiling as if she knew exactly what I was thinking. She had her hair pulled from her face and the same sack strapped to her back. She stopped just in front of me and said, “You are absolutely glowing. And I just heard that Marren is doing well. They expect him to wake in a few weeks.”

My heart fell, “Weeks?”

“Well, it's a far cry from the months they were anticipating originally.”

I nodded, still not feeling better about the time. The baby fluttered again. “Oh, how is it possible? I'm only one month along. I can't be feeling movement this early, can I?”

“We have faster pregnancies than humans.
So, yes.”

“How much faster?”

“You will have your little one in four months’ time.
Which is why Marren's potential to wake in weeks is much better than months.
That first night the baby is born is a very important bonding time for the baby and father.”

“Do they grow faster too?”

She nodded and unstrapped Serid, who looked so much bigger since the last I saw him. He looked like he was ready to walk on his own. “Yes, until the age they make their first change and then the growing slows down, almost completely stopping.”

“Relena!”
Danst called me from outside of the trees. I found him with a big smile on his face. He waved me over with his hand.

“Excuse me.”

“Of course,” Okelo said.

For one moment, I had forgotten that we were preparing for a battle. I had
an inkling
to question Okelo's presence but remembered that she had taken her mate's place as Marren's second. Still, something felt off.

***

Ildir, Joe'n and Blyl stood in the field of tall grass waiting for me. Danst had been instructed to bring me to them. I hated that he tried so hard to fit in with his people and yet never really belonged to either side of his blood.

It was dark. The sky, riddled with dots of glitter and gold, was spotted with light fluffy clouds. The moon had yet to rise and bring light to the field. The Ancients stood side by side as I approached them.
Their eyes on me.
It made my heart falter slightly. I wasn't sure what this meeting was about, but it couldn't be good.

Joe'n spoke first, “You should know that Marren is on the mend. We expect a full recovery soon. But when is up to him.”

“Thank you for everything you are doing for him,” I said.

“It is our pleasure, but this is not what we called you to us for,” Joe'n said.

“Oh?”

“Tobias,” Ildir said, “requests that you stay out of the battle.”

I laughed under my breath.
More from impatience than humor.
“And you agree?”

“We think that it's best that you don't do anything to risk Marren's recovery.”

“I'm fighting. End of discussion,” I said.

They all looked at me with wide eyes, completely shocked that I would dare go against an Ancient.

“Relena, we come to you as a friend. We're concerned that you—”

“I'm capable of fighting, and Tobias witnessed it only moments ago.”

“We are not questioning your abilities,” Joe'n added. “We want to ensure Marren's health remains stable and that you also remain careful and cautious with your actions.”

“I won't stand by and watch everyone but me fighting for their lives knowing that some may lose them.”

“Relena, we can forbid you to fight, if we must,” Ildir said.

“Doesn't matter.
I'm going to fight with or without your permission.” I was growing impatient with their attempts to prevent me from fighting.

“Then at least think about Marren and what he would want.” This time it was Blyl that spoke. Until then, he had remained quiet and indifferent.

“Let me see him. If you want me to think about his wishes, then let me see him.”

They stood quietly. Joe'n seemed to be considering it. After a few moments of quiet, I spoke again.
“Fine.
I won't fight so long as I don't see Jiren. If he comes after me, I'm going after him.”

“We won't leave your side or let anything like that happen.”

I turned around, muttering under my breath, “Sure you won't.”

***

I met up with Danst after leaving the Ancients behind. They didn't know a thing about me and they were sinking low to use Marren to get me to not fight. I wasn't going to sit by and let others die after what Jiren did. I wouldn't allow that to happen even without Jiren's actions. I wasn't going to do it. I don't sit around and let people do the work. Danst leaned against a tree, peeling leaves off a twig. His eyes found mine and he stood.

“That apparently didn't go well,” he said.

“Did you know what they wanted to talk to me about?” I asked.

“What?” he asked, as if he had no idea what I was talking about.

“Did you know what they wanted to talk to me about?” I repeated.

“No, I didn't. I thought they wanted to let you know Marren was awake.” He paused for a few moments, kicking a piece of dirt on the ground. “He isn't awake, is he?”

“No,” I spat.

“
Wha
—what did they want then?”

“To tell me not to fight, rather, to forbid me from fighting.
Spouting off that I need to think of Marren and his wellbeing.”

“Wow. They really don't know you, do they?”

“Obviously,” I muttered

“So what are you going to do?” Danst asked after a moment.

“I'm going to go find him, when everyone is busy fighting, and I'm going to kill him.”

“You're going to kill Marren?” he asked dubiously.

“No!” I shouted. “I'm going to find Jiren and kill him.”

“I hate to break this to you but Jiren can't be killed in the way you are thinking.”

“Oh yeah?
How can I kill him then?” I asked, stepping up to Danst and looking deep into his eyes, waiting for him to answer. He avoided my gaze,
then
turned to walk away. “Don't walk away from me, tell me!”

“I can't,” he said.

“You can't or you won't?” I shouted.

He turned around faster than I’d ever seen him move with rage blazing brightly in his eyes. “Pick one, Relena! You'll stop at nothing and run over everyone—even your mate to get to Jiren and kill him. You won't think!
At least not about anyone but yourself.
Go do yourself a favor and get some rest. And try not to get yourself and your baby killed.” Without another word, he turned and continued walking away from me. Just above the tree line, the moon had risen, shining light on the field, bathing it in an eerie glow.

I was too shocked to move. Too shocked that Danst had actually accused me of being selfish and thinking only about myself. I couldn’t believe he didn’t understand that I wanted Jiren to pay for ripping Marren from me and turning this world upside down to prove me wrong instead of just accepting that I really was Marren's heart song.

I returned to the cluster of trees to find Okelo. I wasn't about to back down. Not when I was that close. I had to fight. Marren would understand and I wouldn't let myself get killed. But Okelo was nowhere in sight. After asking a number of people where she was, I was no closer to finding her. Everyone I asked claimed that they had not seen her. Frustrated, I found a spot to lie down and get some sleep. I would need it in order to leave before anyone else woke up.

***

I woke to find my hands tied to a tree with Tobias crouched in front of me ready to pounce if I tried to escape. I narrowed my eyes at him. “Why are you so insistent on not letting me fight?”

“Why are you so insistent upon fighting?” he asked with his thickly accented words.

“Because it is wrong to expect people to fight and die for me without me willing to do the same.”

“Willing and doing
are
the same thing to you?”

“Yes,” I spat, trying to twist my wrists free from the ropes.

He nodded. “I have great respect for you. But you are stupid, careless, and you act before you think. That is what will get you killed.”

“I don't need lessons from you.” I struggled again and then panted out, “I need you to release me.”