Heartbreaker (10 page)

I’m sitting in the living ro
om, papers scattered all around. My ancient laptop I bought for the bargain price of one hundred dollars from ebay, resting on my crossed legs. I’m trying to complete an essay on sustainability being an economic issue. Huge topic and I’m finding it hard to keep my rambling to two thousand words. My internet is running at a snail’s pace and its taking ages to log onto the library data base to find the articles I need. I have no idea of the time, until I hear the door knob turn and Dad appears, kicking off his boots as he walks into the room.

“Hey there, studying hard?” he asks and makes for the fridge. He always has a beer or two after work and I make sure they're cold and ready for him.

“Yeah, something like that,“ I reply, frustration evident in my tone.

He returns and sits on the couch, beer in hand. He takes a swig. “Can I help?”

I grin. “Sure, if you know the sustainability indicators and all about ecological economics.”

Dad grins back. “Sounds like a lot of academic bullshit to me.”

I laugh. “I wish, but unfortunately I have to get my head around it, if I’m ever going to get my degree.”

“I’m proud of you, you know,” he says with a warm smile.

I love that smile.

“I’m proud of you too.”

He blinks. “Me?”

“Yeah, you’ve worked so hard to build up your business. Mom would have been proud to see what you’ve made of it.”

Dad swallows. I know it still hurts him to be reminded she’s not with us anymore.

“She would have been proud of you too, you know. And I think she might have had more of an idea of sustainability, economic crap than me.”

I chuckle. Mom was definitely the more academic of the two. I always went to her with homework questions. Dad helped by building dioramas and running me around to the one sport I played. Basketball. They were both supportive in their own way. I was lucky to have them growing up. I sigh remembering those happy days.

“So,” Dad says, interrupting my memories. He clears his throat and I look up at him and close my laptop. He sounds serious.

He clenches his hands in front of him, his beer sitting half empty beside him. “I, um ... spoke to Cam.”

Oh, no. I thought we were done with that.

“He agrees, we need to get rid of Dreik. And I uh, mentioned your idea to take over from him.”

My palms start to sweat, I so wish Dad hadn’t done that, but he’s right it was my idea. So I stay quiet and give a small nod.

“Cam is pretty smart when it comes to business matters. Way better than me. Your mother always took care of that side of things, that’s why I hired Dreik in the first place.”

He doesn’t mention Mom’s death, but I know that’s when Dreik, our accountant, took over our finances.

“Anyway, that’s one of the reasons I decided to make Cam a partner. He came into a bit of money when his dad died and he wanted to invest in the business, and I couldn’t say no. He’s a really skilled carpenter; he’s come a long way in two years. And honey, I know there’s still stuff between you two, but you should be proud of him.”

I suck in a breath. That’s about the longest speech I’ve ever heard my dad give. And I am proud of Cam. So proud. He’s the better one. The one on the right path, not the wrong path like me. I’m glad he’s doing well and that he’s in business with my dad, they’ll see right by each other. They are two of the most decent and honest people I know.

I manage to say, “I am proud of him, Dad. And I’m glad he’s your partner. What we had is over. I know that now. But it doesn’t mean you have to take sides. I don’t want that.”

I can feel tears welling, but I don’t let them fall. I refuse to cry in front of my dad.

“That’s not why I’m telling you this, honey. And I would always take your side if it came down to it. But I don’t think I have to. Do you?”

I shake my head. He’s right, that’s just petty. Dad, Cam and I are better than that.

“Good. I’m glad to hear it. So how would you feel about taking the job on a full time basis?”

I blink rapidly, and lean back.
Take the job? Full time?

“I don’t understand … Cam wants me to do the job? I thought, when you said he’s good at the business side of things, you were gently telling me he’d prefer to do it.”

Dad lets out a small laugh. “Cam’s good at business, but he doesn’t have time or the inclination to do the paperwork. He likes getting his hands dirty too much. He will of course oversee the big picture and all the other aspects, like advertising and contracting our services to the bigger companies…”

Dad trails off as I’m still looking at him open mouthed. I can’t believe Cam is okay with this and I wonder what sort of fast talking my dad did to bring him round.

“Um, I don’t know what to say. I never thought he’d agree.”

“He knows you need this. And he wants what’s best for the business and right now you’re the solution we need to get us out of this bind with Dreik. We need someone we can trust to sort it all out.”

“I’ll do my best, Dad. I mean I have no qualifications or anything, but working for Bennett’s dad’s company taught me a lot.”

A lot more lessons than I care to share with Dad right now, but I block that out.

“Dad chinks his beer on my water glass sitting beside me on the floor. He smiles wide, “I’m so glad to have you home and I’m so glad to have you on board, it means a lot to me, Bales.”

I give him my best smile, even though my head is swimming. I’m grateful for the job, that part is exciting, and I’m looking forward to working with Dad. It’s just the other complication of working with Cam. I wonder if I’ll need to see him that much. I could correspond by email and texts. Yeah that might work. My heart rate decreases a little, as I continue to mull over how I can work sight unseen. Invisible me. I can pull that off. How hard could it be?

“Cam wants to meet, to talk over the details of your contract. Said he’d call you tomorrow,” Dad mentions casually as he gets up and moves to the fridge.

My heartbeat escalates again. Within the space of two seconds everything just got a whole lot harder.

Get a grip Bailey Ryan.
You’ll just have to dig out the largest pair of big girl pants you can find.

THiRTeeN

______________________________________

So I’ve scheduled an appointment with Dr Phi, aka, Gerry for tonight. She’s just text back saying she’s all mine for the evening. Which is good thing because this time it might take all evening. It’s getting harder, but it’s actually been helping. Like the shackles of the past two years are slowly loosening.

Right now, my legs are jiggling again. I’m sitting outside the new office buildings in town. They knocked the old ones down for the movie. I think the production company paid the bill, and the council have taken up the second floor, but the first floor is a bit of a mystery. Cam text to meet him here at ten and it’s a quarter to. I’m never usually early, but I couldn’t wait any longer, I already changed outfits five times. The closet in my room looks like a tsunami hit it full throttle. I couldn’t decide between business attire or casual elegance. In the aftermath, I don’t think I achieved either. More like shabby,
I don’t know what the hell I was thinking
. I press my hands over my pink, knee length, skirt, matched or unmatched with a long sleeved purple sweater and white scarf, topped off with black stockings and black pumps. I check my watch wondering if I could still make it home to change and I'm about to leap toward dad's truck, when Cam turns the corner.

Damn it!

He’s reading a text on his cell and carrying a small white paper bag, must be his late breakfast. He hasn’t seen me, which gives me five seconds to check him out. A luxury I haven’t indulged in yet, and I make sure to enjoy my time. He looks unbelievable and I want to kick myself again and again for leaving him.

Freshly shaven, his gorgeous brown locks look like they’ve had a trim, and the blue suit he’s wearing takes my breath away. I’ve never seen him dressed like this. I mean there was prom, but he only wore a jacket over his jeans and shirt. That was then. And this is now. The suit looks expensive, he doesn’t have a tie on, but he pulls the business look off famously. I wonder why he’s all dressed up, I can’t be that important to warrant a suit. My cheeks flush and I actually fan myself. Holy cow, if I’m this worked up from the mere sight of him, I’m going to be in a whole world of trouble talking to him.

I really wish I’d changed into something more appropriate. I feel like a complete idiot and I’m pretty sure I look like one. I contemplate walking away, when Cam looks up and straight at me. He nods, and my legs start shaking more. I fidget with my sleeves and wait for him to approach. He picks up his pace and puts his cell away, his eyes on me the whole time. God, those baby blues are beautiful.

“Hey,” he says, and I want to kiss him so bad. I bite my willing lips and stand up.

“Hi,” I squeak out, just showing how much more of an idiot I can be. I can’t believe I’m this nervous around Cam. I was never nervous around him. He was always my comfortable place. My home. Now it’s all so weird and so wrong.

“Um … we should go in,” he says and gestures for me to follow him as he holds the large glass door open.

I frown. Unsure why we’re meeting here. Then I wonder if this is where Dreik works and we’re going to get all the paperwork and files sorted. I’ve never met Dreik before, only heard Dad swear whenever he mentions him. This could get tricky. I follow Cam as he strides down the corridor of the first floor, there are doors every few paces and a few people hurry past, looking busy, arms laden with folders or briefcases. I guess there is a business life in the town, amazing what you miss when you’re not looking.

We arrive at the last door on the left and I stop and stare at the gold writing on the door. Ryan & Graham Building Services. Wow, that packs a punch when I see Cam and my Dad’s names side by side. I immediately imagine mine and Cam’s name side by side. Once a probable reality now it’s more like a bad ending to a twisted fairy tale.

He allows me to pause then opens the door and once again gestures for me to go in. It’s small, well, compared to the offices in Chicago, they were three times this size. But I instantly fall in love with it. There is a large oak desk which sits next to the window looking onto the local park and gardens. There are a couple of filing cabinets and shelves filled with black folders. A pile of paperwork covers most of the desk and a state of the art computer with seventeen inch screen sits to the side. The walls are filled with photographs of various houses and renovated kitchens. I stop and marvel at the work Cam and Dad have been doing. Wow, business really has taken off for them in the past two years. I never realized how well Dad had been doing. I guess without me around he put his soul into his work. The love he has for it really shows and I wonder who the photographer is.

Cam takes off his jacket and sits behind the desk. “Take a seat, Bailey.”

I cringe. It’s like a statement,
Bailey the girl who isn’t mine any more. Bailey, the girl who left and broke my heart.

I really, really
, hate my name right now.

I take a seat and fidget some more. Cam puts the white bag on the desk and switches on the computer. “I have your contract ready. I just need to print it so you can sign it.”

He’s looking at the blank computer screen and not at me.

“Um … okay, thanks
... I mean thanks ... for this Cam ... it means a lot to my dad and ... to me.” I splutter out, in almost incoherent babble, nearly choking on those last two words.

Cam still doesn’t look at me, and moves the mouse around. “Yeah, well we’re in a bind and you coming home solved that for us. I know your Dad is really happy to take you on. So it was a no brainer really.”

Right. My thumping heart just picked up the pace. He’s obviously doing this for Dad and not for me.

He’s clicking the mouse, his eyes firmly set on the screen and he’s gone quiet. I look around the office, my legs are jiggling again. I don’t want to look at him anymore. I just want to get this over and done with, the longer I wait here with this big desk between us, the more it hurts. I’m not sure I can do this, but then I know Dad will be disappointed if I run away again.

I’m done with that tactic. Got me on the fast road to nowhere last time.

So I sta
y and jiggle and fidget. Then ‘Hurts So Good’ plays as a ringtone and I jolt at the sudden intrusion of the noise. Cam mutters under his breath and quickly reaches for his cell out of his jacket pocket. “What?” he says in a less than friendly way.

I don’t think I’ve ever heard Cam be so rude to anyone. Well, except me. That last phone call when we were ending it was the worst. He looks pissed at whatever the other person is saying.

“Yeah, just hang on.” He sighs and gets up, then glances at me. “I um … will be back in a minute.” He leaves quickly, shutting the door tight behind him.

I blow out a big breath. Glad for the break in tension. All my muscles are wound so tight, if you could tap into it I’d probably energize a wind-up toy for the next few days. Now with him gone, I look around more leisurely, taking it all in. The first thing that catches my eye is a little golden hammer in a glass case sitting on the window ledge. Cute. I read the inscription.

Huge congratulations. Smash it out of the park! Love you Cam,
Mom.

I smile, knowing how much she adores her son. A faint smell of baking drifts from the paper bag on the desk, and I wonder why Cam hasn’t touched it yet. He has the biggest sweet tooth. Loves any kind of desert, and sugary snacks any time of the day.

I reach across and take a quick peek inside. It’s full of home baked chocolate cookies. I think how nice his mom is, to pack him a morning snack. Or maybe he told her he was meeting me, and she gave it to him to boost his patience. I close the bag, not enjoying that thought. I’m about to put it back when I see a little drawn love heart with writing underneath.

Sweet treats for my Sweet Cheeks. Love J. xx

O.M.G. I think I just threw up a little, and I swallow the bitter taste, nearly gagging on it.

I don’t have time to recover though, as Cam jostles the door handle and I rush to put the bag back in place and sit down.

Now my blood is boiling. My fists clenched tight. First, she’s making him lunch, now chocolate cookies. Who made her Mrs Bakery 2013? Mrs Winters would have a fit. I have the sudden urge to release the golden hammer and smash her cookies into a zillion pieces. I’m fantasising about this as Cam sits back down.

Since I'm so agitated, I throw out a question
I’ve had since I saw him this morning. “What’s with the suit, Cam?”

Crap!
That came out all kinds of wrong. I sound like I’m criticising him. And now he’s looking at me like I’ve got two heads.

He continues to glare at me, before answering. “I’m meeting with a couple of reps from a Chicago firm, they approached us for a major building contract in the area.”

“Oh, right.”

Cam doesn’t offer any other information, and picks up a pencil and taps it on the desk. I know he’s annoyed with me. My mom might not have been able to read my dad, but I can usually read Cam. Even now. Well, at least that hasn’t changed. He drops the pencil, leans forward and bangs a few more keys on the computer, then sits back tapping his fingers watching the screen. How long does it take to print a contract for goodness sake? This is torture. If I didn't know better, I’d say Cam's enjoying making me squirm. They say revenge is sweet and I'm reminded of the sweet cheeks comments once more, making my blood boil again.

Finally the document spits out, and thanks to the laser printer it’s quick. Cam shuffles the papers into order and hands them to me. But he doesn't utter one word. Nothing.

“Um … thanks,” I say, for the sake of saying something. I do have my big
girlie pants on today. I can be a grown up, even if he can't.

He stands and starts to button up his jacket. “Stay here, and read it if you want. Your Dad will be here soon, if you have any questions.”

Just like that, he’s leaving. Fantastic. I guess he wants all our communication to go through Dad, from here on in.

I clench my hands in my lap, seething inside. Well fine, that works for me buddy.

Cam checks his cell and adjusts his collar, suddenly looking a bit nervous. He really is adorable. I forget all my anger in an instant and I want it to tell him how nice he looks, to give him a confidence boost for the meeting he’s about to have. Then with a slam to my heart, I realize that isn't my job anymore. His cell dings, and he smiles wide at the text he’s getting. Crap, I bet it’s Miss Sweet Cheeks, herself. He doesn’t look at me and heads for the door.

Ooohhh, my bo
iling blood skyrockets.

I don’t think. I just
leap across the desk and snatch the bag of cookies. And no, I don’t smash them, though the thought crosses my mind for the hundredth time, instead I throw them at him, and he turns and catches the bag inches from the floor.

“Don’t forget these …
Sweet Cheeks
,” I hiss out with a load of venom.

Cam opens his mouth as if surprised, then starts, “What the hell … these …”

But he doesn’t finish, because my cell rings, and I turn away from him to take it out of my purse and smile even wider than he did. It’s Bennett, and I want to give him a big kiss for the best timing ever. I suppress the urge to hug my cell, then the office door slams shut. Cam’s gone and I’m jolted out of my cell loving dream.

What the hell, indeed!