Heartbreaker Breaks (A Bittersweet Lottery Love Story) (Tangled Hearts & Broken Vows: Tales of Infidelity Book 1) (13 page)

   Her plan was for the car service to come to her house and pick up the airline ticket and short letter she had written to Nick before the driver going onto pick him up. The plan went out the window as the town car pulled in front of her home. She was sure she would die if she didn’t see Nick one last time.

  Many unneeded apologies and a carefully folded hundred-dollar bill to the driver later, Faye was in her new car driving to Nick’s apartment. She was dressed casually in floral frock, her tangle of golden hair in a loose bun. She didn’t look her best but the blush of her impulsiveness enlivened her features giving her a swept away sexiness she was entirely unaware of in the heat of the moment.

  She parked her car in the red, not caring if she got a ticket. Her stomach was filled with butterflies, and her heart pounded in her chest. She rang the buzzer.

  “I’ll be down in a moment,” his voice buzzed through the intercom system.

  “It’s me Nick. I sent the driver away.”

  “Faye?” He paused for a very long time, “Come on up…”

   The door beeped and Faye tentatively opened it. She wondered for a moment if she should turn away, go back home, cry into her pillow until the end of time. She ignored the fearful voice inside her head and purposely skipped the elevator and walked up the stairs.

  “Hey Faye,” He said as he opened the door before she had a chance to knock. “Come on in. I can’t believe you’ve never been here before.”

  “I did a walk through when I rented it, but that was before…” Her nervousness was suddenly replaced by the joy of being with him again.

  “Before you met me?”

  “Yes.”

  “You look pretty today, Faye,” he reached out and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear.

  “Thank you.” They stood frozen in their steps, locked in each other’s eyes, silent as if shy.

  Faye looked away, “Are you all packed up?”

  “I had to go down to the Boardwalk and buy a few duffle bags… I’ve never had so many clothes before… all of our shopping. I’ll probably have to take up golfing. Why do I have so many pastel cardigans?” He laughed.

  She closed her eyes to hold onto his trill forever, “We did go a little crazy in Palm Spring, didn’t we?”

  “Best day, best time.”

  “Really?” She nervously looked up at him. The intimacy of his stare was too much. She looked away again.

  “Yes,” He replied in a tone of voice that had no place in their lives.

  She stepped away from him, towards the army-issue bags on the floor. “We should get going. Let me help you with the bags.”

  “I’ve got it Faye,” He bustled by her, bending down to pick up the overstuffed bags. His clean masculine scent filled the air. Faye closed her eyes, breathing deeply in.

  “You okay?” He laughed and asked as she opened her eyes.

  “Yes, let’s go.” She followed him out of the apartment, into the elevator and out onto the street.

  “Where’s your car?” He put down the bags down and asked.

  “Right in front of you.”

  “A Maserati…” His smile couldn’t have been of wider, “I win.”

  “You have one too,” She reached into her purse and pulled out the plane ticket, leaving the note in her bag. She wouldn’t be giving it to him. “I had it delivered to your step-father’s house in Maine.”

  “Bossy until the very end,” He took the ticket from her hand and stared at it, “You’re giving me a happily ever after?”

  “I wish I could.”

  “What color is it?” He looked up at her with a smile.

  “Black like your heart,” She said through a laugh of her own.

  “You know me well. But you seem to have forgotten I travel light through life. I could just change the ticket at the counter, fly to New York, skip the car, go on my way.”

  “You could, but why would you? Go in and say hello. I know he’s missed you.”

  “Did you speak to him?” His warm eyes grew cold.

  “No, I wouldn’t muck about in your life like that, though of course I would like too. The dealership delivery service explained that you would be there in a week’s time to pick it up. I do know he’s looking forward to seeing you, but that’s it. I couldn’t grill the car dealer any further.”

  “You held back? You? I don’t believe it.”

  “It’s true,” she shrugged and pressed the button on the keychain to pop open the trunk.

  “The bracelet,” He reached out to her wrist and ran his finger across the thin platinum chain, “I thought you would have returned it.”

  “No… I kept it. Let’s go.” She pulled her arm away from him and slammed the trunk shut.

  “I’m hungry Faye. Do we have time to stop and get something to eat? I’m up for carb loading, a sky high pile of pastries would do me a world of good.” He said as he got into the car.

  “I don’t think we have time,” The reality of him leaving, of her never seeing him again, not knowing what his future held was too much. She took a deep breath and turned on the radio. The Cars, Bye Bye Love blared through the speakers. She rolled her eyes at the absurdity of it all. “You can get something on the concourse after you go through security.”

  “Okay,” He sat back in his seat and stared out the window.

  Nick’s easy charm faded as they trudged down the steps through the parking lot and into the airport. He was tense and spoke of worries about the weather and how he would get to his stepfather’s house. Faye assured him a car was would be waiting for him at the airport in Maine.

  She had never seen even a trace of nervousness in him before and was too preoccupied with her own discomfort at the thought of never seeing him again to do much to comfort him. The porters scooped them away as they entered the first class line at the ticket counter, leading the two of them to the express security line. Faye’s panic filled her with a deafening numbness. She held herself firmly up, promising herself that she would not fall apart in front of his youthful eyes.

  “This is it,” He dropped his carryon to his feet, and grabbed onto Faye, hugging her tight, “Are you going to be okay?"

  “Yes, of course,” She hugged him back with an intensity she couldn’t hold back, running her cheek against his neck, kissing him lightly.

  “Am I going to be okay?” He whispered as if pained.

  “Do you want the truth?” She whispered back as her body melted into his.

  “I don’t know, but give it to me anyway.”

  “You’re going to be fine, but there will be points in your life where things get really hard. You’ll want to run away. Try not to do that.”

  “I’m going to miss you.” He released her and stood with glistening eyes in front of her, vulnerable in a way that made her look away again.

  “I’ll miss you too. You have to go now… Goodbye.” She opened her eyes wide, to hold back the threatening tears and walked away, up the stairs to the parking lot, taking deep controlled breaths. All she wanted was to make it to the car before falling completely apart.

  She exhaled deeply as she reached the top of the staircase.

  “Faye.”

  She turned to see him standing behind the security rope, his arms open wide to hug her again, smiling wide. She looked to him, and smiled brightly, raised her hand to wave goodbye, and walked out to the parking lot. She did not look back.

  Faye sat beneath the magnolia tree in her backyard. The tears streaming down her face as they had been for the previous two hours. She felt dehydrated and hoarse from her crying and moaning. Guttural sounds escaped her body. She worried the neighbors would call the police.

  She smoked cigarette after cigarette until the stink of her own being was too much. Her stomach growled with hunger but felt too pained to handle even so little as a banana. She knew she should get up and do something to distract herself, vacuum her home, anything. But it was all too much. What wasn’t pained inside of her felt empty.

  She curled up on the grass, clutching her sides, closing her eyes, willing herself into the respite of sleep. No such luck. All she wanted was to rewind time, spend one more day with him. The glint of his eyes, the shine of his golden red hair exploded in her mind’s eye.

  She thought of the play, Othello, she had read in high school. Desdemona’s maid spoke of an old woman who was condemned to live her life by a stream singing a sad old song. The long forgotten words sprang into Faye’s mind and she sat up, leaning against the tree’s trunk for support and sang out like a mad woman:

  “The poor soul sat singing by a sycamore tree. Sing all a green willow: 
Her hand on her bosom, her head on her knee, Sing willow, willow, willow: 
The fresh streams ran by her, and murmur'd her moans; Sing willow, willow, willow; Her salt tears fell from her, and soften'd the stones; Lay by these: Sing willow, willow, willow; Prithee, hie thee; he'll come anon.”

  Several mournful verses later, she began to laugh at herself. She wondered if she would ever feel all right again. She felt as if her hair were turning grey as she sat beneath the shade of the magnolia tree, every cell of her being ached. She closed her very wet eyes and did fall asleep.

“Faye, Faye…”

  She felt a hand on her shoulder and heard an ill-defined voice speak, waking her from a dream of tidal waves upon a faraway beach. The air was chilled, and she knew the sun had gone down. Still, she didn’t move, only wishing the wakeful voice would go away.

  “Faye, wake-up, come inside,” Adam said.

  “In a little bit,” she replied through a dream-like timber.

  “Are you hungry? We could go out and get something to eat.”

  “I’m clearly asleep, not hungry.” She opened her eyes to see him standing above her, the outdoor lights illuminating his shape, but hiding his face.

  “You’ve been crying.” He sat down beside her, “And you smell of cigarettes. I thought you had gone back to your secret habit. Here, use this instead.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out an e-cigarette, handing it to her.

  “Thanks, but I quite like my habit. I don’t see myself giving it up anytime soon.” She tossed the slender tube to her side.

  “I’ve been patient with you, and it hasn’t been easy—

  “I don’t need your patience—

  “You didn’t let me finish my sentence—

  “I took him to the airport… He’s gone.” She began to cry again.

  “I’m sorry Faye,” He wrapped his arms around her stiff body, holding her tight.

  “Thank you,” She found herself hugging him back.

  “You’re welcome,” he laughed, “I can’t believe I just expressed remorse for my wife’s lover leaving her. What has our life become?”

  “He was my friend, not my lover,” She sobbed harder, beating her head against his shoulder.

  “You keep saying that…” he adjusted their position and held her up to face him, “I was going to throw away the check you gave me. Really Faye, what were you thinking? Am I on your payroll?”

  “It was your share.”

  “My share?” He laughed again, “We’re family, you’re my wife. Have you forgotten?”

  “I’ve been very busy.” She laughed through her wet haze of sadness.

  “That you have,” He nodded his head in a way she found condescending, “I’m not going to throw the check away. The girls come home in a few weeks for their summer vacation. I spoke to them an hour ago, had them cancel their internships and plans. We’re going to Croatia. Dario’s coming along too. I have it all planned out. We’ll start anew Faye.”

  Her tears suddenly stopped, and she looked deeply into the ebony eyes of the man she had loved for well more than half her life. He was devastatingly handsome and grew more so every year. Aging had been kind to his thick olive- toned skin, his hair was still a thick dark gloss. He momentarily took her breath away but still, she couldn’t connect to the woman inside of her who had once loved him so deeply.

  “The lottery was a curse, life has a balance. The undeserved fortune had a price.”

  “You’re not making much sense.”

  “This time last year, nothing would have made me or the girls happier, our dream trip to Croatia. You and Dario showing us all the places you ran free, eating all the strange cuisine… But now I’m so numb.”

  “Did I lose you for good?”

  “No, but I don’t know why you want me anymore.”

  “I love you and always have.”

  “It wasn’t enough for you.”

  “It was enough, I was just too stupid to see it.”

  “I don’t think I’m going to feel whole again for a very long time.” Tears sprang into her eyes again “I miss him already.”

  “Part of you might always miss him, which will be my cross to bear. But this feeling, the emptiness? It will pass,” He kissed her soaked face.

  She melted into his arms knowing it was true.

About the Author

Paloma Meir lives with her family by the beach in Los Angeles. When she's not taking long walks she likes to writes sordid and tortured stories of people in love. You can find out more about her on her blog www.palomameir.com. She loves her family, writing books, reading books, dresses and Twitter.