Heartless (24 page)

He gripped my arm and froze. “Do you think someone’s been in there?”

My head swooned; it had been a long time since I’d left the cozy warmth of the car charger. “Not…sure…” I managed, before I collapsed.

I
wasn’t out long this time. Eli carried me past the prying eyes peeking out from other dorms. We reached my bed, and he plugged me into the wall. My eyes fluttered open almost immediately, and, out of sheer habit and shock, I gasped.

My room was a disaster. Ransacked, searched, whatever you wanted to call it, it had been done to my room. Clothes were strewn about, hanging on furniture and across my mirror. My laptop lay in the middle of the floor, the screen-saver flickering. Books, notebooks, pens and pencils. The mess was everywhere.

“What…” I said, as soon as I took it all in.

Eli sat at my desk, looking confused. “No idea,” he said. “But if you and Lucy didn’t leave it this way, apparently someone’s looking for something.”

I was still woozy, but I sat up in the bed. “Will you bring me my computer please?” I said. “I can’t get up quite yet.”

Eli nodded, did as I asked, and then retreated to the other side of the room.

The laptop came to life as soon as I touched the space bar. A browser was open, set to my email, and an email from my mother was highlighted. I shrugged. I didn’t feel like talking to her right then, so I left the email unread.

“Whatever,” I said. “I’ll just clean it up later.”

Eli shrugged again. “Shouldn’t we call someone?”

“Who?” I said. “Who would I call? The police? Campus security? The President? We already know someone’s after me, and I doubt anyone can help. Besides, I’m sure Officer Strong will come by at some point anyway. Seriously.” I thought for a moment. “Look, Lucy’s safe now. She’s in a hospital, far away from me, and safe from whoever’s doing this stuff. That’s what matters most. And you…you should leave too, Eli. Just go, far away from me. So I know you’re safe, too. The rest of it? It doesn’t matter. They can have whatever they want from this room.”

Eli nodded. He still looked so angry with me, I couldn’t bear to look at him. He stood up and headed toward the bathroom.

“You’re not leaving, are you,” I said. It wasn’t actually a question.

“No. Strong made me promise to stay with you when he called me. To keep you safe. He actually told me to wait with you in his car, but that sounded stupid. I can keep you safe here. But I’m staying in Lucy’s room. With the door closed.” He sighed, and suddenly he looked less angry, more sad. “You know, Jo? All this stuff going down? It’s dangerous. Someone’s going to get hurt. And I almost wonder, well, maybe it would’ve been better if you’d just died, like a normal person would have.”

He left my room and closed the door behind him.

Alone, I used all my strength to walk across my cluttered room, pulling my cord behind me. I sat down at my desk and stared into the mirror at my monster face. I replayed his words in my head, over and over and over. They hurt, like a knife to the throat, and as much as it pained me, I knew he was right.

As I stared, to my surprise, a single, green-tinted tear rolled down my cheek.

I brushed it away with an angry swipe—
too little, too late—
and turned back to my computer.

Jo1995: Did you know #arsenic poisoning can cause severe abdominal pain, nausea and vomiting? Me, either.

Jo1995: Holy crap, it also causes cancer. You hear that? #Arsenic causes cancer.

Jo1995: Ew, the rashes caused by #arsenic poisoning are disgusting!

Jo1995: Why isn’t #arsenic trending yet, people? This is serious stuff!

Jo1995: I am the worst friend ever. Stupid #arsenic.

EliPete21: @Jo1995 Go to bed, Jo.

Jo1995: @EliPete21 I can’t! Come talk to me?

EliPete21: @Jo1995 Hush

T
he sound of infomercials from Lucy’s room was about to put me over the edge.

Ladies, are your thighs not what they were when you were twenty? Well, this ThighBuster machine will slim them right down so you can fit into your sexy skinny jeans again.

Check out what the MasterSham will do for you! Watch as I pour this gallon of liquid on my carpet. One touch with the MasterSham and the carpet is dry as a bone!

MasterSham,
I thought.
My life IS a MasterSham. I AM a MasterSham.
I looked down to my legs, on which the skin was starting to crackle.
And if I lose any more of my thighs I’m in even more trouble.

I stood up from my desk, unplugged, and headed to the bathroom. Chances were Eli was sound asleep over there. I always gave him a hard time for falling asleep with the TV on full blast, and I figured I could sneak in, turn it off, and at least have some quiet in my room. On the way, I stopped at my open window and took a peek outside. The snowy squall of the afternoon was finally over. The moon shone brightly on the fresh snow, and the smoking bench was surrounded by other students from my dorm, smoking and talking and laughing like they hadn’t a care in the world. I used to hang out there sometimes, never smoking, telling lewd jokes like I was cooler than I actually was, trying to out-gross the boys as a way of fitting in. Those days seemed distant, and I missed them desperately. Longingly. I rested my battered hand against the glass of my window, pressed against it, reaching out for a life that was no longer my own.

As I stared, a black-hooded figure caught my eyes. He stood slightly behind the smoking group, set back within the trees beside my building, not far from my window. The smokers didn’t seem to notice his presence. I couldn’t see the figure’s face, but he saw me, and raised a hand in greeting. I jumped back.

“Eli!” I shouted. “Eli, get in here! Quick!”

I may have sounded like a deranged bullfrog, but at least I was loud enough that within three seconds Eli stood beside me. He was bedraggled, confused, startled. “What? What happened?” He’d not yet rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

“There’s a man outside my window!” I said, pointing. “Look!”

Eli ran to the window. “The smokers? Jo, what are you talking about?”

I looked, and he was gone. The smokers, however, gazed upward at my room, their eyes drawn by the noise I’d made and the light in my window.

“No, a man! Right behind the smokers!” I was frustrated. He’d been there. I saw him. I thought.

“Well, he’s gone now. I’m sure he heard you. There’s no way he
didn’t
hear you. I’ll look for footprints in the morning.” He was shivering, even though he wore pants, shoes, socks, and his fleece.

I closed the window, using my full body weight for leverage. I didn’t think I could rely on muscle strength anymore. “Right. Fine. Someone’s out there,
right now
,
Eli! I swear! It’s probably one of the guys who chased us today!”

He sighed. “Maybe. Possibly. But what would you like me to do about it? I’m just one guy.”

“Should we call Strong?”

“He’s busy with Lucy. I spoke with him earlier, before I came to get you. He’s not leaving her side.” Eli actually smiled, then turned back to the window. “About time that girl found a good guy. She’s sweet. I like Lucy. Always did. Thought you and she made a good little team.”

I resisted the urge to go to Eli by repeating the word “arsenic” to myself like a mantra. I wanted to run to him, let him fold me up in his arms, let him pull me down onto the bed beside him. It was a childish need, I realized, to feel safe and protected, a damsel in distress with her knight in shining armor.

But I couldn’t endanger Eli the way I had Lucy. And it wasn’t exactly like he was dying to hold me anyway. “Go back to your apartment,” I said. “I can take care of myself.”

He shook his head no. Then, for the first time since I’d showed up at his apartment two days earlier, he reached out and brushed his fingertips gently across my cheek. He didn’t wince.

I only wished I could have felt it. Really, truly felt his touch, apart from the vague pressure that washed across my face.

From the hallway came a shout, and then a knock on my door, shattering the moment of kindnesses and regrets. “Jo! Eli! Open up!”

It was Strong. Eli reached the door in two strides and threw it open.

“Officer Strong!” I said. “What is it? Is Lucy okay? Oh, God, is she…” I couldn’t say the word.

He stepped in and let his coat drop to the floor. “No, no, she’s fine. Lucy’s fine. But we need to talk.” He kicked off his tall, wet boots, and left them in the center of the floor, where melting snow collected in a soggy puddle. Strong sat in my desk chair, straddling the back and ramrod straight. “In the first place, why are you two here? Didn’t I instruct you to wait at my squad car?”

“It was cold,” said Eli. He shrugged. “Besides, I don’t remember you being in charge of me. I don’t have to listen to you.”

Anger flashed, dark and heady, across Strong’s face. His hands balled into fists. But then, as quickly as it appeared, it was gone, replaced by something calm and tranquil.
Like the eye of a hurricane,
I thought.

“This badge says otherwise,” he said, mildly reaching into his pocket and pulling it out like a cop in an old TV show. “Next time I tell you something, you better listen.”

Eli only shrugged again.

Adam made a yuck-face. “It stinks in here. Open the window, would you?”

As Eli stalked to the window, I propped myself against my desk, trying to keep weight off my bent and broken ankle. I crossed my arms in front of my body, preparing to hold myself together through whatever news Strong was about to deliver. “Please,” I said, barely able to get the words out. An image of Lucy, dead beneath a white sheet on a gurney, sliding across black ice, flashed in my mind. I couldn’t take it. “How’s Lucy? Is she all right?”

They stopped facing off, alpha males staking a claim on my room, and as one, they turned to me. It hurt to see them both wince.

His attention fully on me, Adam nodded, but his face stayed grave. “I told you, she’s fine. They’re pretty sure she’s out of the woods. The doctors warmed her up first thing, and now they’ve got her on fluids. That will help with the arsenic. I guess Eli told you?” I looked down at the floor instead of responding. “Okay. He did. So she should be fine pretty soon. When I left, she was sound asleep in her hospital bed.”

Eli nodded. “Great news,” he said, although he, too, was still solemn.

Adam continued. “I’ve come to tell you, though. You’re not safe here anymore. You need to come with me now. You
both
need to come with me. As soon as you’ve, um, cleaned yourself up a little more. Can’t have you in the car smelling like you do. I’ll wait here.” He settled into the chair, chin on his arms.

“No!”

I jumped. Adam jumped. We both turned to Eli, confused.

“What?” I said.

Eli took a deep breath before he spoke to me, as though it was just the two of us in the room. “I said no. We’re not leaving here. We’re not going with Adam. We’re not going anywhere. It’s the middle of the night, and this has been the worst couple days in my little stupid life.” He turned to Strong. “I haven’t heard or seen you do anything that makes me think Jo is any safer with you than she is with me, and I can take care of the both of us. Plus, you’re the only cop we’ve spoken to. Where the hell are your friends? Why the hell haven’t you ever called for, oh, I don’t know, reinforcements or something? There’s no one outside our building, no one offering us any explanation about what the hell happened to my girlfriend! Or all those other girls, either. Yeah, Jo told me about the others. There are people
dying
out there, and we have only you to deal with, and frankly, I don’t trust you. So until you can tell me why you felt the need to come here at two o’clock in the damn morning, then no. We are absolutely, one hundred percent,
not
going with you.”

I sat down on the bed, hard. Something in my back crunched like a bag of potato chips. Even though I knew it meant nothing in the grand scheme of things, I couldn’t help but think,
He called me his girlfriend. Maybe that happy ending….
Even the thought trailed off. I wasn’t blind.