Hearts Ablaze (Hearts On Fire Series) (14 page)

I brush a few tears off my cheeks and squeeze his hand before shaking my head.

“Noah is amazing, Dad, but he distracted me. I should’ve been spending all my time with you. You needed me and I blew it. Now it’s too late, and I can’t ever make up for that. I shouldn’t have been so selfish. I am so sorry.” The tears are coming in earnest now.

“No, Aubrey. I’m glad you met him. It’s been wonderful to see you two kids together. And you haven’t let me down at all. I am so damn proud of you, honey. My greatest accomplishment in life was having you and Landon. You have both been the best things to ever happen to me. You guys couldn’t have a bigger fan than me. I love you so much, baby girl. Life is way too short. God knows I figured that out. Don’t forget to enjoy every day you’re given. While I accept I won’t be getting any more time, I am sorry to be leaving you all. But I’ve had a beautiful life, and that’s all I want for you, sweetheart.”

I can’t help the cries coming out of me, so I lean down and lie with my father. His arm comes around my shoulder as he cradles me to him, placing kisses to the top of my head.

“Make sure you love fiercely, baby. Make sure you tell Noah every day just how much you love him. Cherish each other. And never forget how much I love you.”

“I love you too, Daddy. Thank you for being the most incredible father I could ever ask for. I’m so grateful for you every day.”

He pulls me closer and I hold on, never wanting to let go.

Landon and Mom come back to the room a few minutes later. I have since stopped crying and am sitting back in the chair. Dad fell asleep while I was lying with him and deep down, I know those are going to be some of the last words he ever says to me. And I cherish them.

Landon sits next to me and Mom rests on the edge of the bed, holding Dad’s hand in both of hers. She places a kiss to his palm and then holds it to her cheek. It’s painful to watch, but also beautiful to see the love she has for him. I think it’s how I feel about Noah. I’m starting to regret what I did, but I can’t take it back. I know Dad was adamant that I patch things up with him, but I know how much I hurt him. He won’t ever forgive me for that, and I don’t blame him.

We’re all sitting vigil at his bedside through the night, just taking comfort in each other. I end up falling asleep with my head on Landon’s shoulder. I’m awoken several hours later to a loud steady beep. I open my eyes and see that steady line on the monitor, tears forming as I realize what’s happening. Mom breaks down and leans her head on Dad’s chest, crying loudly.

A nurse comes rushing in and places her stethoscope to Dad’s chest and then his neck. She looks up with a sad expression. “I’m so sorry.” She shuts off the heart monitor and walks out of the room, giving us some privacy.

Only fifteen hours after coming to the hospital, my father is gone.

Mom is completely inconsolable, and Landon looks unashamed of the tears falling down his cheeks. But I can’t cry. I felt the tears starting earlier, but they’re gone. I know it’s probably the shock, but I’m finding it too hard to believe.

My father is dead. Why can’t I cry?

I stand up and go to my mom, wrapping my arms around her. “I’m so sorry, Momma.” I know he was my father, but my mom just lost her partner of almost thirty years. I can’t even imagine what that feels like.

Landon comes over and hugs us. I can feel his chest shaking and I know he’s crying hard. And then finally, in the comfort of my mother’s and brother’s arms, my tears come. I let go of them and lean over to place a kiss to my father’s cheek.

“No more pain, Daddy. I love you so much. I hope it’s beautiful up there.”

I stand up straight and turn back into my brother’s arms. I tuck my face into his neck and cling to him. Landon’s hugging me so hard I’m afraid he might squeeze the air out of my lungs, but instead of complaining I hold him just as tight. He has his other arm around Mom, who still has a grip on one of Dad’s hands. Together, we mourn the most incredible human being this Earth has ever had. My father has been taken from us way too soon, but we’re all glad he’s no longer suffering. It just hurts to know he never got the chance to fight.

***

They came up and took Dad away to the morgue an hour ago. Landon and I wait around to help with the paperwork; once we’re all set, we grab the few belongings Dad had with him and place them in a bag to give Mom. Before they took him, she removed his wedding band and is now wearing it on her right hand. Landon helps Mom into the hallway. He’s taking her home, where he’ll stay with her.

Once they’re gone, I walk into the waiting room and see Kenni sitting with Grayson in the corner. She has her Kindle in her lap, and he’s on his phone typing what looks like a text message. They look up when they hear me come in and Kenni immediately jumps up. When she takes in my expression, I can tell she knows what happened. She immediately bursts into tears and comes to throw her arms around me. I hug her back, fight tears of my own.

“Oh, Aubrey, no! Oh, Jesus. I’m so fucking sorry!” She holds me tighter and rocks me gently, then lets go of me. She wipes the tears off her cheeks and gives me a sad smile.

“I’m okay. Thank you guys for being here. It means a lot.”

Grayson leans down and gives me a warm hug, whispering how sorry he is. Seeing him is hard because he makes me miss Noah. I didn’t realize how much I would need him.

Kenni grabs my hands. “Can we do anything for you? What do you need?”

“I really just need to go home. I need to be alone. We’re gonna have to start making arrangements tomorrow, but for now I just need my bed. And maybe a couple bottles of vodka.” I give her a weak smile, trying to make light of the situation.

“Yeah, of course. I’m gonna go home with Grayson, but if you need anything you let me know, okay? I’ll come over tomorrow and help you with whatever you need.”

I give them both another hug and head out to the parking garage. I’m keeping the tears at bay until I get home and then I’m gonna let myself fall apart. As I round the corner and come to my apartment, I stop dead in my tracks. Noah is sitting outside the door, his arms resting on his knees with his head down.

Tears burn my eyes.
He’s here.

He looks up when he hears my footsteps and immediately jumps to his feet. His eyes are sad and I can see how watery they are. I can’t help the sob that breaks free from my chest when I run to him and throw my arms around his neck. He doesn’t hesitate to pull me into his arms, holding me tighter than he ever has before. He presses a kiss to my forehead and let’s his lips linger there.

“Oh, baby. I’m so fucking sorry. So sorry. It’s gonna be okay. I’m here, baby. I got you.”

I cling to him and sob loudly into his neck. He presses a kiss to my head as I finally let go of everything. All the pain of the last couple months. Everything I put him through. I cry for my dad. I cry for my mom and brother. And I cry for myself, and the loss of my father.

How are we going to get through this?

CHAPTER 20

NOAH

I was completely floored when Grayson called me from the hospital to tell me Mike had passed away. I had sent him a text after I left to let him know what had happened. I knew when Aubrey lashed out at me that she didn’t really mean what she was saying; she was hurting and needed an outlet. I can’t say it didn’t hurt me in the process, because it did. She ripped my fucking heart out, but I knew my pain was nothing compared to hers. It was only when Grayson made me realize that it was just her grief that I couldn’t let her push me away. So when he told me that he and Kennedy were going over to the hospital, I made sure to have him keep me in the loop. I just didn’t expect to get the bad news so quickly.

Standing here in the hallway of her apartment building, I’m having a hard time keeping my emotions in check. The front of my shirt is completely soaked from her tears. Bending down, I scoop her into my arms, take the keys from her hand, and open her front door. I close and lock it behind me then carry her into her bedroom. She’s still crying loudly, her entire body shaking with the force of her sobs. I lay her down on the bed and go over to her bureau, grabbing one of my shirts that she’s kept and bringing it to her. I quickly help her undress and get into the shirt before shucking my shoes and jeans, leaving my shirt on. I climb into bed next to her and pull her to me tightly. She buries her face in my shirt and continues to cry.

I rub a hand up and down her back and finally let my own tears fall. Her father was an amazing man, and I feel the pain of his death as well. I bury my face in her neck and together we mourn the loss of Mike. She clings to me and I whisper to her, wanting her to know she isn’t alone. We fall asleep holding each other.

***

I wake up several hours later. The room is dark and Aubrey is still asleep next to me. She’s facing me, and even with swollen eyes and her hair plastered to her cheek from her tears, she is still the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on. I reach over to the nightstand and grab my cell phone. There’s a text from Kennedy asking how Aubrey is doing, so I respond that she’s asleep, but I’ll let her know in the morning.

Slipping out of bed carefully, I use the bathroom, wash my hands, and head back to bed. Slipping in next to Aubrey, who rolls over in her sleep, I lie behind her and pull her to me, burying my face in her soft hair. I breathe in her scent, grateful she’s here with me.

When I wake up again, I see it’s morning and Aubrey is no longer in bed. I pick my jeans up from the floor and quickly throw them on before padding out of the bedroom to find her in the kitchen, sipping a cup of coffee. Her eyes are still swollen and they look tired. She gives me a small smile when she sees me and turns around to grab another mug from the cabinet. She brews a cup and hands it over to me.

“Thank you, baby.” I blow on the coffee before taking a sip as she goes into the living room and sits down on the couch. Following her, I settle next to her, place my mug on the coffee table, and then turn to face her, bending one leg up onto the couch. I lay one arm across the back of the couch, using my other hand to brush her hair out of her face.

“How are you doing?”

She places a kiss on my palm. “I’m okay, actually. I’m devastated of course, but I’m also relieved he isn’t suffering anymore. He was in so much pain all the time, Noah, and that was hard to watch. I miss him so much already, but it wasn’t easy to watch him suffer.” I can see tears shining in her eyes, but she blinks them away. I open my mouth to say something but she interrupts me.

“I also wanted to say how sorry I am. I should never have said to you what I did. You did absolutely nothing wrong. I was just so angry at everything. I couldn’t stop myself from spewing all that at you, and I am so sorry for hurting you. You’re a good man, Noah Davis, and I’m completely unworthy of you. But I want to try to be.” She gives me a smile, one I’m so happy to see right now.

“No apologies necessary, baby. I knew you were just hurting. I understand, and I’m so sorry about your dad. Please, don’t push me away when you’re hurting. That’s what I’m here for.” I take a sip of my coffee, then put it back down and reach over to pull her onto my lap. She straddles me and wraps her arms around my shoulders.

Taking a deep breath, I finally begin to tell her what I should have a long time ago.

“Aubrey, I know this isn’t the right time. Or maybe it is. Maybe there’s no such thing as the right time. But I don’t care. Life is too precious to spend it trying to plan the perfect moment. I love you, Aubrey. I think I’ve loved you ever since that night at the bar, and I don’t want another day to go by without me telling you that. You’re everything to me, baby. I love you so much.” I frame her face with my hands and look deep into her eyes. A tear falls from one corner and I wipe it away with my thumb. She gives me a huge smile.

“I love you too, Noah. I have for a long time. I was just too chicken to say the words first. You came into my life at the most unexpected moment, and it’s because of you that I’ve been able to get through all of this. You make me stronger, Noah.”

She leans forward and kisses me, tightening her arms around my shoulders as I cradle the back of her head and deepen the kiss. She grants me access to her tongue and as soon as they touch, she moans into my mouth. With all the craziness of these last couple weeks, it’s been a while since I made love to her. I feel like this isn’t the right time to take advantage, but my rock-hard dick clearly isn’t getting the memo.

She presses against my hardness, causing a groan to rip through my chest. Grabbing her around the waist, I stand with her in my arms and carry her to the bedroom, never removing my lips from hers. I kick the door shut behind us and fall with her onto the bed, her legs wrapped around my waist, arms around my neck. I trace my hands up and down her sides as our tongues softly duel. She only has on my T-shirt and a pair of panties, so it doesn’t take us long to shed our clothes.

I run a hand between her legs and groan loudly when I find how wet and ready she is. Leaning back on my haunches, I stroke my hardness, taking in the sight of her waiting for me with her legs open. I place myself at her entrance and in one smooth thrust bury myself to the hilt inside her. When she moans loudly and arches her back, I take advantage and lean down to take a nipple into my mouth. I suck hard, grazing my teeth over the tip as I begin to thrust inside her hot pussy. Her walls are clamping down on me and I can tell she’s already close. Her moans are growing louder as she reaches down to grab onto my ass, pulling me into her harder. I release a growl and start thrusting harder and faster. I can feel the sweat dripping off my forehead onto her chest, the tingling at the base of my spine; I’m losing control, and fast. I move a hand down to where we’re connected and begin rubbing fast circles on her clit.

She immediately cries out and I feel a rush of wetness between us as she begins to climax. Her legs are shaking and she’s screaming out my name. My balls start to tighten and I know I’m done for. She drags her nails down my back to my ass and that’s it. I bury my face in her neck and release a loud moan as I begin to come. I thrust slowly through my orgasm until my body goes limp and I fall on top of her. She wraps her arms around my back, pressing a kiss to my shoulder as I blow out a shaky breath and move to her side.

“Jesus Christ, babe. That was so fucking good.” I press a kiss to the side of her neck as she giggles. Turning over, she cuddles up next to me and kisses me.

“So good. I think you fucked me into a coma, I need a nap from that.” I laugh and pull her on top of me, kissing her hard. “I love you, Noah.”

I smile at her before kissing her again. “I love you too, baby. So much.”

We begrudgingly force ourselves out of bed and head into the kitchen. She calls her brother and lets him know that we’ll be over in a little while to start making decisions, and I’m in awe of how strong she’s being. Aubrey is the most amazing woman I have ever met, and I’m finding myself falling harder for her every day I spend with her.

We make a quick breakfast of bagels and cream cheese, and she takes a shower while I call Grayson and fill him in on what’s going on. He offers to drive over to her parents’ with Kennedy a little later, and I let him know I’ll talk to Aubrey about it. I’m just hanging up the phone when she comes walking out of her bedroom, in shorts and a T-shirt. Her wet hair is up in a ponytail and she has no makeup on. The puffiness has gone down in her eyes.

She grabs a travel mug and fills it to the brim with more coffee. She offers me a cup, but I decline. Walking into the living room, she grabs her purse and comes back into the kitchen.

“Ready to go?” she asks, grabbing her keys off the counter.

“Yeah. I’ll drive, baby.”

She gives me a smile before we head out of the apartment, climb into my truck, and get our way to her parents’ house. I reach over to switch on the radio and put it on the local country station. The sound of “When I’m Gone” by Joey + Rory comes through the speakers. I reach over to turn it off, thinking it will be too painful for her, but she slaps my hand out of the way. Instead, she turns it up louder and closes her eyes as she leans her head back on the headrest. I can hear her humming along to it and as we come to a stop sign, I glance over at her. I can see tears falling down the side of her face, but she doesn’t shut the music off. Aubrey has a small smile on her lips, and then I realize what she’s doing. She’s embracing the music and lyrics. They aren’t making her sad; it looks like they’re bringing her peace.

We pull into her parents’ driveway a few minutes later. I park next to what I’m assuming is her brother’s car and shut off the engine before reaching over and tracing my thumb down her jaw, then her neck. She looks over at me with a small smile. Leaning over, she places a kiss to my cheek.

“Thank you for coming, Noah.”

“Nowhere else I’d rather be, babe.” I lean over to give her a quick kiss, then open my door and jump down from my truck. I meet her at the front of my truck. “Just remember I’m here to help. Whatever you need, just let me know. You don’t have to go through this alone, okay?”

She smiles and nods as we walk up the front steps. Heading inside, I feel her grip on my hand tighten. We find her brother sitting at the dining room table, stacks of paper in front of him along with a tumbler half filled with what appears to be bourbon. He looks like he hasn’t slept at all. Aubrey immediately goes over to him and wraps her arms around his shoulders; he hugs her tightly then pulls back. I reach out and grasp his hand, offering my condolences. Landon thanks me then sits back down, turning his attention to Aubrey.

“So, we have a ton of stuff to go over. Mom’s still asleep. I called her doctor and had some sleeping pills filled for her. I felt guilty doing that to her, but she needs rest.” It sucks hearing that Sharon is having such a hard time, but I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose someone you’ve been with for almost thirty years. Hell, I’ve barely been with Aubrey for two months and I already know I would go bat-shit if anything ever happened to her.

“I’ll talk to her when she gets up. Okay, so I know Dad wanted to be cremated, but is there anything else we need to take care of?”

Aubrey starts looking over the papers on the table. I take a seat next to her and place my hand on her thigh.

“Well, we’re gonna have to call the funeral home so we can set up a memorial service. That way, people can come pay their respects. Mom said he wanted to be cremated and then have his ashes spread out back in the pond. That was his favorite place to be.”

Aubrey makes the call and gets a memorial set up for Mike three days later at noon. It will be open to everyone from noon to two, and they have to decide who will give the eulogy. She also tells Landon that they need to have an obituary written up so people know when the service is. They wait until Sharon is up in case she wants to have a part in writing it. I offer to run out and pick some food up for lunch, so I give Aubrey a quick kiss and head out to the deli for sandwiches.

Of course, I end up ordering way more food than is needed, but I want to make sure I get enough. And I don’t know what everybody wants, so I get a variety. I load a bag up with some chips and drinks and place it all on the passenger seat of my truck. Rolling the windows down, I start the short drive back, enjoying the beautiful day. Once I get there, I grab the bags and head for the kitchen. Aubrey and Landon are standing at the counter, looking at a picture she’s holding.

“Hey, guys. I got a bunch of different sandwiches. I wasn’t sure what you’d want.”

Landon helps me unload the bags while Aubrey grabs some plates out of the cabinet and places them in front of us.

“Wanna see something, Noah?” She hands me what she and Landon were looking at. It’s a picture of Landon and Aubrey when they were kids, sitting with their dad. They were both wearing red and white outfits and Mike was dressed up as Santa, complete with beard and glasses. They couldn’t have been any more than three and five years old. It’s pretty adorable.

I hand the picture back to Aubrey and she places it back on the window sill.

“That’s one of my favorite pictures of us. Dad used to dress up like that all the time, until we caught on to who he was. Remember that, Land?” Aubrey smiles at her brother and starts looking through the sandwiches. She grabs the turkey and swiss on rye and takes it over to the dining table. I follow her with my own sandwich.