Hearts Aglow (21 page)
“Certainly not.” She smiled, hoping it might relieve his mind. “I agreed to court you, knowing that your family had to come first. I spent a lifetime feeling much the same way about mine, so I understand your position. Please don’t think I’ve changed my mind.”
He smiled and eased back in the saddle. “I’m glad. I thought there for a minute, I might have to give you another kiss to persuade you.”
She laughed and slapped the reins. “I’m already persuaded, but it never hurts to reevaluate my stand.” Despite his laughter, a part of her said there were still too many secrets between them. Too many obstacles to allow for true love to grow. She prayed it wasn’t so, but doubt still lingered.
Deborah had just finished her shopping at the commissary when she spied a young woman and older gentleman approaching from the boardinghouse. For a moment, she didn’t trust her eyes. Perhaps she’d had too much heat for one day. She looked again, however, and could see that she’d been right.
She put the last of her packages into the wagon bed and hurried to greet the young woman. “Jael?”
“Deborah! How wonderful. I was just asking Father to find your house for me. He was going to check with the man at the store.”
The two women embraced and drew apart once again to study each other. Deborah was amazed at how perfectly coiffed and gowned her college friend was. Of course, Jael had never been one for simplicity, but the pink-and-white bustled gown looked better suited for a party than a trip to a sawmill commissary.
“You look wonderful,” Deborah declared.
“Are you terribly surprised to find me here?” Jael asked, laughing. “I can scarcely believe it.”
“I am surprised, but I knew that your father and husband had become partners with Mr. Perkins. I dared to hope you might accompany them here one day, but hoping was as far as I got. I figured to mention it the next time you wrote.”
“Which, I’m sorry to say, has been so infrequent,” Jael replied. She looked at her father and smiled. “We’ve all been so very busy. Father and Stuart decided to make a trip to Houston, and I insisted they bring me along. I actually threatened to come on my own once they departed, if they didn’t bring me.”
Deborah looked to Jael’s father, who nodded. “It’s true; she did. I knew better than to threaten her or encourage Stuart to do likewise. Once Jael sets her hat for something – that’s the last of it.”
Jael patted the old man’s face with her gloved hand before turning back to Deborah. “You look so slender and lovely. I am so jealous. I could never hope to have a waist as small as yours.”
Deborah laughed. “It comes from all the bending I do in the garden.” She smiled at Jael’s father. “Mr. Longstreet. It’s been some time since I last saw you.” Deborah started to comment that it had been upon the occasion of Lizzie’s intended marriage to Stuart, but she caught herself just in time. “Will you be in the area for long?”
“It will depend on how our business shapes up,” he replied. “I’ve come to finalize some matters with Mr. Perkins. Most likely, it will take us a week or more.”
“Then you must come and stay with us. We live several miles north on the main road. We’re the only house out that far. We added on earlier this year, and there is more than enough room.”
“Oh, Father, might we?” Jael looked at him, hopeful. “The bed at the boardinghouse is ever so hard.”
He looked at his daughter, then back at Deborah. “I need to be here to oversee business. Miles away from town will do me little good.”
“Well, it would definitely let you sleep in better air,” Deborah replied.
“I have no objection to Jael going to stay with you.”
Jael beamed him a smile. “Thank you, Father. I shall be so happy to be occupied while you are busy. I’m sure Deborah and Lizzie will happily fill me in on all the news.”
“Starting with the fact that Lizzie was delivered of twins last month,” Deborah replied.
“Twins? How marvelous. Oh, but I can hardly wait to see them.”
“Come with me now, then,” Deborah told her. “I was just heading home. We can stop by the boardinghouse for your things.”
Jael smiled and pushed back her dainty reddish blond curls. “That would suit me just fine. You don’t mind do you, Father?”
“Not at all,” he said, seeming almost relieved. “I will take myself on to the mill.”
“Do join us for supper, Mr. Longstreet. You can take this road and follow it north. You will come upon our place after several miles. As I mentioned, we’re the only house that far out. Mr. Perkins can give you directions. The house is quite large with a huge porch, and there is a plain picket fence that skirts the roadside of the yard and across the front.”
“What time should I come?” he asked.
“Six o’clock would be fine. We will most likely eat a little after that, and hopefully the temperature will have cooled some.”
He nodded. “I would be quite happy to join you. Until then, ladies.” He tipped his hat and turned to make his way to the mill.
Deborah looked at Jael and couldn’t help but giggle. “It will be just like old times.”
But Jael’s face had sobered considerably with her father’s departure. “I can’t promise that, I’m afraid. My life is hardly the same.”
“We’re fixin’ to go to town. Are you sure you gals are gonna be all right?” G.W. questioned.
Deborah shooed him toward the door. “We’ll be fine. Mother and Sissy need you much more than we will. We have to catch up on the past.”
G.W. looked skeptical, but finally nodded and turned. “We’ll be back before it gets too late.”
“And be sure to remind Mama to have Mr. Longstreet come for supper,” Deborah called after him, since business had kept him from joining them the night before.
Once G.W. was gone, Deborah turned back to Jael and Lizzie. Each held a baby and was happily engrossed in conversation. Now they could finally get down to hearing the details of why Jael had made the choices she’d made.
“So now that we’re alone,” Jael said without prompting, “I suppose you are both determined to know the reasons for my marriage to Stuart.”
“Well, you have to admit, it was a rather shocking thing to spring on us,” Lizzie said, putting baby Rutger to her shoulder.
“Yes, we were quite stunned,” Deborah added. “You had tried to talk Lizzie out of marrying him, but we didn’t think it was so you could catch him for yourself.” She smiled to let Jael know she was just teasing.
Jael offered Deborah the baby girl before continuing. Deborah cuddled Emily close and took a seat near Lizzie. Jael smoothed the skirt of her stylish day dress and looked up to smile.
“Well, the story is not a very nice one. You know I had my heart set on Mr. Remington. And for a time I thought he, too, had his designs on me. Unfortunately, I gave of myself too freely and found myself in a family way.”
Lizzie’s eyes widened. “Oh, Jael, that must have been terrifying.”
“It was. As you know, my oldest sister, Justine, found herself in the same situation, and Father dismissed her from the family for bringing them shame when the young man refused to marry her.”
Lizzie and Deborah nodded. The story was indeed a sad one. When Mr. Longstreet had sent his daughter away in shame, Justine was unable to bear her grief and took not only her own life, but that of her unborn child.
“Well, I couldn’t let that happen to me,” Jael continued. “I knew Father would be livid, although I wondered if he might be more forgiving in order to avoid a repeat of what happened before. But I couldn’t work up my courage, and so I went to Ernest and told him I was expecting. At first, he was all compassion and agreed we would marry immediately. He said we would travel abroad and have the child there so no one would know exactly when the baby had been born. I thought it a perfect solution. Then the next thing I knew, he sent me a letter telling me he was on his way to England – alone – and was sorry that he couldn’t bid me good-bye in person. There was never any mention of an engagement, because we never had formally announced such a thing. He merely escaped his fate and left me to mine.”
“How hard that must have been,” Lizzie said, shaking her head.
“Oh, Jael, you should have known you could have come to me – to us here in Texas,” Deborah declared.
“I thought about that, believe me. I was preparing to consider just such a thing when Stuart returned from having seen you here. He stopped by to do business with Father, and when Father was called away for nearly an hour, I was left to entertain him. We talked about what had happened when you left him at the altar, Lizzie. I hadn’t realized that his inheritance was tied up in marrying, but he was in great despair over what might happen. I took that moment to tell him that I, too, bore a great burden.”
Jael let out a heavy sigh. “I told him about Ernest and the baby. He was livid that the man was such a cad. I told him his problem and mine were very similar, for once Father learned of my condition, he would disinherit me. Stuart was the one who suggested we help each other. Please understand – he was kind and gentle with me. He didn’t pretend that he loved me, and neither did he expect me to pretend that I loved him. At least not privately. He asked that I be an attentive and loving wife in public, and that seemed easy enough. After all, he was coming to my rescue.”
“Oh, but, Jael, to live in a loveless marriage . . . ” Lizzie said with tears in her eyes.
Deborah could see that Jael wanted badly for them to understand, and she knew how that felt. Sometimes a person’s choice never seemed justified until it received the approval of those around you – those you loved.
“Many people marry as if it were business, Lizzie. We cannot condemn our friend for her decision.”
“But what now?” Lizzie asked. “What of the baby?”
Jael bit her lower lip for a moment. Deborah thought it looked like she might cry and reached over to pat her arm. Jael raised her head. “I lost it. After two months, I miscarried. Few people knew about it, and those that did thought it was Stuart’s. You see, when Father returned that day, we told him our plans to elope. He was surprised, but not upset. He thought it very fine that I should marry into such a good family – especially to a young man with whom he did business and could trust implicitly.”
“What happened between you and Stuart after you lost the baby?” Deborah asked.
“Really, he did nothing. He consoled me, told me how sorry he was that I should be inconvenienced, but added that we could one day have our own children.” She looked at Lizzie and Deborah. “He was neither overly kind nor meanspirited about any of it. That, in fact, has been our marriage. We both needed each other in order to keep our reputations and social standing in place. I’m not sorry for my choice, but I am sorry that I did not consider how difficult it would be to live without love.”
Tears ran down Lizzie’s cheeks, and Rutger began to fuss as though he knew his mother was upset. Emily didn’t like that her brother was unhappy and joined him. Deborah soothed her while Lizzie began to rock Rutger in her arms.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be all weepy,” Lizzie said, regaining control. “I feel that you have suffered – not only in marrying a man you did not love, but with the loss of your child. I would never have wished it on you, Jael, and yet I feel by rejecting Stuart, I have had a part in . . . well . . . ”
“You had no part,” Jael said firmly. “I made my choice based upon my need. If Stuart hadn’t been agreeable and available, I still don’t know what I might have done. Besides him, you two are the only ones who know the truth, and I’d like for it to stay that way.”
“Of course.” Deborah looked to Lizzie and then back to their friend. “It is your secret, and we shall keep it.”
“I just wanted to explain my decision. I figured you both thought me quite out of my senses.” She smiled. “I suppose there for a while, I was.”
Lizzie relaxed, and so did Rutger. She seemed to choose her next words with great care. “So what . . . does the future hold . . . for you?”
Jael picked at the lace on her sleeve and refused to meet their gazes. “I’m not sure how to answer that.”
“You mentioned that Stuart talked of having children together,” Deborah threw out. “How do you feel about that?”
Jael finally looked up. “I want to have children. I’m hoping that somewhere along the way, Stuart and I actually might come to care for each other. Perhaps children would help that matter.”
