Hearts Aglow (27 page)
He seemed to calm a bit at this. “I know you’re right, but it angers me to see the waste. They were good boys – they were smart. They had a future.”
“They still do,” she told him. “Maybe Benjamin and Andrew will use this time in jail to straighten out their lives.”
“And what of Calvin? He’s just twenty. His life has barely begun, and already he may lose it.”
Deborah gently touched his arm. “Then you should go to him.”
“This will kill our mother. She doesn’t even know.” His voice broke.
Taking him in her arms, Deborah pulled him close. Christopher buried his face against her straw bonnet and wept silently.
“I’m so sorry, Christopher, but we will see this through together.
No matter what, I will be at your side in prayer, even when I can’t be with you physically.”
For several minutes, she simply held him. She remembered a similar scene many years ago when her father’s mother had passed on. It was the only time she’d seen her father cry, and it frightened her. Christopher’s tears didn’t frighten her; they made her love him all the more. She longed to promise him that the world would right itself, that tomorrow he would awaken to find it all a bad dream. But, of course, that wasn’t going to happen.
Deborah barely heard the door open behind her. When she glanced up, she found Maybelle and Annabeth Perkins staring at her with their mouths open. Christopher pulled away from Deborah and exited the room to compose himself. Deborah turned in greeting, as if nothing were amiss.
“Are one or both of you ladies ill?”
Maybelle shook her head, but it was Annabeth, the elder of the two, who spoke. “That was hardly appropriate for us to witness. You were in the doctor’s arms.”
“Actually,” Deborah replied, “he was in mine. He received tragic news regarding family. I was merely offering consolation.”
Maybelle giggled and Annabeth shot her a reproving glance. “No matter what his problems might be, it’s totally unacceptable for you, a single woman, to be embracing a single man. Especially one whom everyone knows you are courting.”
Deborah shook her head. “I’m sorry you feel that social rules should cancel God’s. The Bible tells us to bear one another’s burdens and offer comfort. I did no more or less, and for you to judge otherwise is wrong.”
“We will see what Pastor Shattuck has to say about that.”
Knowing the Perkins sisters, half the town would know what she’d done before the sun even crossed the sky. Deborah felt a pang of regret. She wasn’t so worried about her own reputation, but Christopher had fought hard to win these people over. Her actions would put him in an unfavorable light, as everyone would assume he was the one to take liberties with her.
Shaking her head, Deborah tried hard not to show her irritation. “You will say whatever you see fit. I have done nothing wrong.”
But what bothered her most was that she knew that was a lie. As far as she’d been taught, it was wrong for her to have been embracing Christopher – even in a moment of great sorrow. They weren’t even to hold hands in public.
Christopher reappeared, his eyes still red-rimmed, but he’d managed to compose himself. “May I be of assistance to you ladies?”
Maybelle giggled again. “Mother wished for us to extend to you an invitation for dinner,” Annabeth told him.
“I must go.” Deborah felt more ill by the minute. The consequences of that one moment of oversight would no doubt haunt her for weeks to come. Reputations were easily lost in gossiping communities.
Christopher looked at her, but only nodded. Deborah hurried outside, the voices of the Perkins sisters prattling on about how their parents were entertaining the new partners and wanted Dr.Clayton to meet them over supper.
To her surprise, Jake was waiting for her at the carriage. “Did you have a nice visit?”
“Get in the buggy,” she ordered, climbing up without assistance. She took up the reins. “Pull the brake.”
He did as she instructed without questioning her actions. Turning the horses, Deborah caught sight of Maybelle and Annabeth standing just outside the doctor’s office. Christopher stood behind them, his gaze fixed on Deborah.
“Are you all right? Is somethin’ wrong?” Jake asked.
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Deborah shook her head and urged the team to pick up speed. “Nothing I want to discuss. Nothing I think you’d understand.”
Rob couldn’t shake the memory of the dream – or was it a nightmare? – that he’d awakened to that morning. In the haze of his sleep, he’d seen himself saying good-bye to his family, to Mara. Mother was crying, but he felt that he had her approval for whatever it was he was about to do. That was what bothered him the most. What was it he was doing? Why was he telling them good-bye?
He headed to church with the family. No one seemed to notice his silence, or if they did, they said nothing. He was grateful not to have to explain. How could he tell them when he couldn’t figure out what bothered him so much? He’d had bad dreams in the past, but this one seemed different. This one seemed so real that he could almost recall the scent of the air – the feel of Mara’s hair as she handed him a ribbon-tied memento.
Seeing her at church only stirred up the memory. He thought of the words she’d said to him – that they would one day marry. He wanted to know how she could just say something like that. They hadn’t known each other long at all, yet there was something so unexpected about their relationship. He’d been the wild one – the guy who made himself available to all the girls. He’d had his share of stolen kisses and flowery words. Those kinds of things used to make for pleasant memories. Now, however, they didn’t matter. He could think only of Mara.
Once they were back home and lunch had concluded, Rob decided to walk in the woods. Jasper and Lula followed after him. Lula was heavy with pups again but managed to keep up with Jasper just fine.
The day felt more humid than it had in the past months, and he could feel the perspiration form on his neck. A scant few clouds dotted the sky. Rob prayed it was a sign of rain. He hated working with the logs when they were slippery and wet, but the water was much needed. Besides, they were well ahead on their cuts. It wouldn’t hurt to take a day or two for other chores. There were always axes and saws to sharpen, equipment to check, and a bevy of other menial tasks to see to that slowed them down when not tended to properly.
He breathed in deeply of the heady pine aroma. He was at home here, yet something seemed to be pulling him away. But where? Shaking his head, Rob studied the road ahead. The paths he walked were well-worn. His mother was always using them to gather herbs or bring the cows home.
Pausing, Rob caught sight of a rabbit scurrying amid the ramble ahead. Jasper and Lula raised a ruckus and took off after it. The rabbit hardly looked big enough to worry after, but that didn’t stop the dogs from giving chase. Rob sat down beside a young pine and waited for their return. He had no real destination in mind, anyway. Resting here was just as good as walking deeper into the woods. He leaned back against the tree and gazed skyward. Up through the pine boughs he could see spots of blue with wisps of white.
Rob closed his eyes.
God, I don’t know where you’re taking me.
I don’t know for sure what I’m supposed to do, but I have some ideas.
You’re gonna have to show me, though, iffen for real it’s your plan and
not just my own
.
Of course the idea of becoming a preacher had never been one of Rob’s dreams. Rob remembered breaking out in a cold sweat the first time it had come to mind, in fact. How could he, an unlearned man, share the Word of God?
“Saw you head out this way and figured to catch up to you,” Arjan said as he came upon Rob.
Rob opened his eyes with a start. “Somethin’ wrong?”
Arjan sat down beside him. “I was about to ask you the same thing. You ain’t seemed like yourself for days, but today was particularly bad. I figure there’s somethin’ on your mind.”
“I had a dream last night – kind of a vision,” Rob admitted. “I was fixin’ to head out – to leave the area. I was telling all y’all goodbye. Ma was cryin’ and . . . well, I don’t know where I was headed. And it really bothers me.”
“Why?”
“ ’Cause it felt like the Lord was showin’ me somethin’ I needed to know. I can’t explain it, but when I woke up . . . well, now I think I’m supposed to do somethin’.”
Arjan pushed back his hat and scratched his neck. “You’ve been thinkin’ a lot lately.”
“True enough. Seems like God’s givin’ me a lot to ponder.” He turned and fixed his uncle with a questioning stare. “Do you believe God speaks to fellas like me? I mean, really talks to them?”
“I reckon so. Bible says that God doesn’t change. He talked to men in the Bible, so why wouldn’t He talk to us now?”
For several minutes, Rob said nothing.Then he leaned forward. “Mara Shattuck told me that God had plans for her and me to be man and wife.”
Arjan grinned. “Well, I’ll be. She said that, did she?”
“Yup. Then she closed the door on me and left me to figure it out for myself. Problem is, it just made matters more confusin’.”
“So you came out here to sort your love life. I reckon I came out to do the same.”
“Ma?”
The single word hung between them. Arjan nodded slowly. “I guess I can’t deny my love for her.”
“Why would you want to?”
Arjan laughed. “I don’t. I guess I just want to ask your permission to ask your ma to marry me.”
Rob grinned and raised a brow. “You promise to take good care of her?”
“You know I do – haven’t I shown you that by now?”
“Of course you have.” Rob got to his feet, and Arjan did likewise. “I’d be right proud to have you marry my ma.”
“Think G.W. will feel the same way?”
Rob gave a whistle for the dogs. Arjan stepped in pace with him as Jasper and Lula came bounding out of the woods. “I reckon G.W. will want Ma to be happy, and I know Deborah does.”
“Your sister has already given me her blessing,” Arjan replied. “She’s the one who really made me feel hope about the possibilities.”
“When do you plan to talk to Ma?”
Arjan looked up. “I guess there’s no time like now.”
Rob caught the reason for his words. Ma was coming toward them just now – herb basket in hand, broad-brimmed straw hat on her head. She smiled and waved.
“What are you two doing out here?” The dogs rushed forward to greet her, then tore off in another direction when something caught their attention.
“Came out here to think and jaw,” Arjan replied. “How about you?”
“I’m after herbs.”
Rob nudged his uncle. Arjan looked at him for a moment, then turned back to Euphanel. “Would you care for some company?”
She smiled and lowered her gaze. “I’m always happy for a friend.”
“I need to get back to the house,” Rob said. He went to his mother’s side and kissed her on the cheek. “Love you, Ma.”
She smiled and patted his cheek. “I love you, too.”
Euphanel looked after her son for a moment. “I wonder what he’s up to?”
“Why does he have to be up to anything?” Arjan asked with a smile. He reached out and took the basket from her gloved hands.
“He’s been acting strange. Ever since he started wondering about becoming a preacher. Seems like he’s worried about leaving the logging business and home. I told him not to fret over it. Why is it so hard for my children to understand that I’d be proud of them no matter what they decide to do?”
“I suppose because Rutger made it clear to them that he had plans for them to take over the business.”
“But he never intended for them to go against their calling,” she countered. “If God wants Rob for a minister, then I want it for him, as well.”
They continued down the path and Arjan fell silent. Euphanel wondered if she’d somehow upset him. Perhaps he, like Rutger, wanted the boys to stay focused on working for the logging company.
“I’m sorry if you think that’s wrong. I know the company is something you two had a vision for.” She smiled and looked down the canopied trail. “I always figured they would follow in Rutger’s footsteps, but I won’t force it. I hope you won’t insist on it, either.”
“I had no mind to.”
“I’m glad.” She rubbed her hands together. “You just seemed a bit put off by what I said.”
He stopped. “Not at all.”
When he didn’t pick up walking with her again, Euphanel turned back. “Is something wrong?” She could see the uncertainty in his expression.
Arjan stepped forward. “Nell, I’ve long wanted to say somethin’, but I haven’t had the nerve.”
Euphanel began to tremble. This was the moment she’d hoped would come – the moment she could speak of her heart and he would speak of his. Her knees quaked beneath her petticoat and skirt. She hoped he wouldn’t notice the rustling of her dress. She met his eyes and knew that all she wanted was to spend her life enjoying his company. Why had she been so blind to this before now? Rutger had been gone for over four years now – it was time to move forward.
“I’ve had something to say to you, as well,” she said in a quiet voice. “Something that I never thought I’d ever say.”
