Hearts Aglow (39 page)
The robust scent of the earth and pine wafted on the air, reminding Deborah of how much she loved this area. It wouldn’t be easy to leave again. It wouldn’t be easy to say good-bye to her family.
“And this time I won’t have Lizzie and Jael with me in Philadelphia.” The thought momentarily gave her pause. Could she live happily without her friends and family? Aunt Wilhelmina was a dear, to be sure, but she was aging and quite self-focused. She had spent much of her life on her own, after being widowed at a young age. Because her husband had left her a small fortune, her aunt had lived quite comfortably, doing exactly what pleased her. She had no children, offering instead her love and kindness to her sisters’ children. That was how Deborah had come to benefit and, hopefully, would be blessed again.
If I return to Philadelphia and offer to work, she will, no doubt,
tell me it isn’t necessary. However, if I work, I can afford to send money
back to Mother and Uncle Arjan
.
She frowned. Mother would never allow for her to tell Aunt Wilhelmina of their problems. Money issues were simply not spoken of in such a manner. It was one thing for an aunt to offer her riches to spoil a much-beloved niece, but entirely another for that niece to bring the intimate details of the family’s struggles to her aunt’s attention.
Staring ahead as the trail widened once again to the main road, Deborah felt defeat threatening her meager plans. Her mother would want to keep her from leaving – G.W. and Uncle Arjan, too. Lizzie would never understand and would certainly beg her to stay. And then there were the twins. They were so precious, and Deborah couldn’t imagine living so far away. “If I can’t convince myself – how can I hope to convince my family?”
The light was fading fast. Quickening her pace, Deborah put aside her concerns. She would figure out the details of her trip and what she would tell her aunt after she announced the matter to her family. She needed for them to believe that this was something she was doing out of a desire to complete her medical training. And in truth, that was part of her reasoning. They didn’t need to know that she also wanted to go to escape her memories and relieve the burden of an extra mouth to feed.
But what of Christopher?
How could she ever know for sure what had happened to him? Could she perhaps write to his mother in Kansas City? Did Mr. Perkins have the address there? She would check with him tomorrow – or better still, she’d go to the doctor’s office and look through Christopher’s papers. Having a plan in mind gave her a moment of courage.
As the house came in sight, Deborah wasn’t surprised to see her mother standing on the porch with a lantern in hand.
“I’m here,” Deborah called as she stepped into the clearing. “I’m all right.”
“Oh, Deborah. I was so worried. We all were. Where have you been?” Mother declared, putting the lantern on the post. She hurried down the steps.
“I am sorry. The news about Indianola was just so overwhelming,” she admitted. “I tried to pray and I guess I fell asleep.”
“Oh, child, did you not think of the dangers?” Mother embraced her, and for a moment Deborah found comfort there. It was easy to imagine she was a child again – safe and secure. Her father would round the corner of the house any moment to announce that it was time for supper and evening devotions.
She pulled back, fighting tears. “I never meant to grieve you,” Deborah told her mother.
“I know, just as I never wanted to grieve you with the news from Indianola. I realize you’re very worried for Dr. Clayton. We mustn’t give up hope, however.”
Deborah shook her head. “I’ve searched deep inside myself and found that place empty.”
“Oh, darling, your hope doesn’t come from within – not in the sense of self, anyway. It comes from God alone. If not, then it will crumble and blow as dust to the wind. You have only to fix your sights on Jesus. Remember the words of the psalmist.: ‘Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? Hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.’ You will find your strength in Him, Deborah.”
She nodded, knowing her mother’s words were true. “It just seems that He is so far away.”
Her mother cupped Deborah’s chin. “He isn’t. He promised He’d never leave you. Perhaps you are simply afraid to trust – afraid to hope.”
Deborah nodded. “Does that make me an awful person? I love God with all my heart, but I feel so weak – so tired.”
“You aren’t awful at all,” Mother said, smiling. “Everyone is afraid at one time or another. If not afraid, then perhaps nagged with doubt. But God will take away your fear and doubt. When you look for Him, you will find Him there waiting, as He has always been.”
“And I can count on Him to direct my path,” she murmured.
“Of course,” her mother said. “The Bible even tells us we can make our plans, but that we need to put our faith in God to direct our ways. You have trusted Him far too long to let doubt control your heart.”
Her mother was right, but God still seemed distant – not really gone, just standing afar. Maybe He was just waiting for Deborah to catch up or ask for help – like Father used to do when they would go for walks and she would tire. If the trek was too exhausting, she would beg her father to come and carry her. He always did. She wondered if her heavenly Father would carry her now.
“I’ve been thinking I’d like to complete my medical training. I want to go back East to live with Aunt Wilhelmina and attend classes. I’ve saved some money and can purchase my own train ticket.”
“Oh, Deborah . . . please don’t go. I missed you so much when you were gone before.”
“But it would be a good thing, and when I complete my studies, I could come back here or to Lufkin. I wouldn’t live far away. I love this land. I am at home here.”
“Then why leave it?”
In the muted light of the lantern, Deborah could see her mother’s worried expression. This wasn’t how she’d wanted things to go. “We can talk about this later. I’m starved. Can I help with supper?”
“It’s all ready, but we delayed eating to wait for you; we figured to send out the men soon to look for you. Everyone will be so glad to see you’ve returned.”
Making their way up the steps, Mother put her arm around Deborah’s shoulders. “I’ll be praying God will give you peace and help you through this difficult time. I love you, and I only want the best for you. He wants the best for you, too. Never forget that.”
They joined the others in the house. Most of the men were assembled in the front room and Uncle Arjan seemed to be instructing them.
“She’s back!” G.W. said, leaping to his feet. He hardly limped at all as he crossed the room to take hold of her. “Where have you been? We’ve been worried about you.”
“I . . . fell asleep.”
“What were you thinking?” G.W.’s tone was quite stern.
“I obviously wasn’t keeping a clear mind,” Deborah said. “Now stop fretting, big brother. I’m fine.” She forced herself to take strength in the moment. So long as she put her mind on the worry she’d caused others, perhaps she could keep her own concerns at bay.
“Oh, Deborah!” Lizzie exclaimed, coming into the room.
Turning just as Lizzie embraced her, Deborah felt guilt drive away her fears for Christopher. “I’m so sorry to have worried all of you.” She hugged Lizzie and pulled away to face the others. “Please forgive me.”
“We’re just glad you’re unharmed,” Uncle Arjan said. His smile assured her that all was forgiven.
“Let’s go eat,” Mother said, putting her arm around Lizzie. “If I recall, Sissy has made us a wonderful dessert. She wouldn’t tell me what it was, but said it was something new and quite delicious. But first, we must get through the main meal.”
“That won’t be a problem, Miz Vandermark,” Warren declared. Several of the other loggers agreed and followed her and Lizzie toward the dining room.
Arjan gave G.W. a slap on the shoulder and grinned. “Maybe we should harness that little sister of yours. That might keep her out of trouble.” He winked at Deborah.
Deborah heard someone laugh from behind her and turned to find Jake. “So you think this is funny?” She narrowed her eyes and feigned anger. “I’m going to tell Sissy not to give you any dessert.”
“You wouldn’t,” he said, grinning impishly. “I thought I was your favorite punk.”
She rolled her eyes. “I have no favorites.”
“Well, that’s not . . . ” Jake’s eyes widened and the words seemed to stick in his throat. Deborah thought he looked as if he’d seen a ghost.
“What’s wrong with you?” she asked.
Deborah heard her uncle give a whistle. She couldn’t imagine what had stirred such a reaction. Whirling on her heel, she felt as if the wind had been knocked from her. Standing in the doorway was Christopher.
“Deborah.” He spoke her name like a prayer.
It was all Deborah heard. The room closed in and went dark as she felt strong arms wrap around her from behind. After that she knew nothing more.
Jake lifted the unconscious Deborah in his arms and shook his head at the man who rushed forward. “I’ve got her.”
The doctor’s gaze narrowed. “Not if I have anything to say about it.”
Arjan stepped between them and took Deborah from Jake’s arms. Jake immediately missed the scent of her hair and the softness of her in his arms. He stepped back, but his gaze never left Dr. Clayton’s face. There was an unspoken challenge between them, but Jake had a feeling that wasn’t enough. Deborah thought she was in love with this man, but Jake had a plan to change all of that.
He couldn’t let the doc just come back from the dead and steal the woman he planned to marry.
Deborah opened her eyes to find Christopher sitting beside her. He looked pounds thinner and far more careworn. Was that a scar along his left eye? She shook her head, not quite trusting her eyes. Reaching up, she touched his beard-stubbled face.
“Are you really here?”
“Yes.” He pulled her up into his arms and crushed her against him.
Deborah could scarcely draw a breath, but she didn’t care. She clung to Christopher as if he were the only thing that would save her from certain death. There were no words – no other thoughts. They were the only two people in the universe, and this moment was all they had.
She didn’t want him to ever let go of her. If this were merely a dream, Deborah never wanted to wake up. The warmth of his embrace left little doubt that it was all real. Christopher had returned to her.
Reluctantly, Deborah pulled away to look deeply into Christopher’s eyes. “I thought you were dead.”
“I very nearly was,” he replied. He touched her cheek and trailed his finger along her jaw.
Tears formed in her eyes, blurring her vision. Deborah closed her eyes and felt the tears trail down her cheeks.
“Don’t cry, sweetheart. It’s all over – it’s behind us.”
She opened her eyes. “When you left, I understood that your brother needed you. But I needed you, too, and I didn’t understand how you could so easily cast me aside.”
“There was nothing easy in leaving you. You were all I could think of – even at the worst of the storm. I wanted only to live in order to get back to you. I will always love you.” He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her gently.
Deborah wanted the moment to go on forever. She didn’t care about the propriety of the situation or that she was sitting on her mother’s bed, embracing the man she loved. None of that mattered.
He took hold of her face as he pulled away. “I thought so often of doing that.”
“Where have you been?” she asked in a whisper. “Why didn’t you let me know you were all right?”
“I wanted to, believe me. I was hurt for a time – my brother, too. They took me south to Corpus, and I couldn’t send word to you.”
“I read just today that the signal man in Indianola died. He drowned with an unidentified doctor. I was so afraid it was you. I didn’t even want to go on living.”
“I’m so sorry. I came as soon as I could.” He smoothed back her hair. “My brother was much worse off than I was. After I started to heal, I worked to help him. Calvin gradually recovered.”
“Were there many injuries?” she asked. “Were you in Indianola when the storm hit?”
He nodded. “Yes to both questions. We had no real warning. We knew a storm was moving in, but some of the old-timers didn’t think it would be all that bad. They mostly sat around, telling stories of the hurricane that had wreaked havoc in the seventies. We had figured to leave, but the sheriff told me it wasn’t a good idea to try and travel with a hurricane bearing down, so we decided to take shelter and wait it out.”
“I read about the floodwaters and the fire.”
“The water came in so quickly – it was like nothing I’d ever seen before. The winds were so fierce, you couldn’t hear the words of the person standing next to you.” He shook his head. “Then the fire spread, destroying everything it touched. We were forced from the building. Into the flooded streets. Into the heart of the storm.” He shuddered.
Deborah hugged him close. “I’m so very sorry.”
“I nearly lost my hold on Calvin,” he continued as if he hadn’t heard her. Deborah released him while he went on. “We were being swept into a fierce current. It had a terrible pull that we tried hard to fight. I managed to get hold of a post of some sort. I held fast to it and to Calvin while the water kept rising. It was a nightmare.”
