Heartstrings (21 page)

He kicks his way over the threshold, and I peer around for a
split second. The only thing in the room is a huge king-sized bed. A deep,
hard, pulsing need surges through me. My body’s been craving this since the
moment I saw Slade Hale for the first time, and my insatiable desire overtakes
me completely. I dig my fingers into his muscled back, kissing his neck deeply.
I run my tongue along his skin, pressing myself to him. But I feel my body part
from his, arch through the air, and land lightly on the soft, enormous bed. I
look up to see Slade drinking me in with his eyes, lust burns brightly in his
eyes.

I lean back on my elbows and let my knees fall apart,
beckoning Slade to me. Without breaking our gaze, he tears his white tee shirt
up over his head and throws it across the room. His sculpted chest is heaving,
his perfectly defined abs tensed, wound up like a spring. His amazingly
balanced body is poised and waiting to meet mine.

“Come here,” I whisper. I don’t need to tell him twice.

He falls into bed after me, pinning me beneath him. I throw
my hands over my head and let him tear off my bright yellow top. Slade reaches
around my back and unhooks my bra with the flick of a wrist. The garment falls
away, and my breasts spill out. Slade takes them in his strong hands, running
his thumbs over my nipples. They spring up, hard and erect, and he lowers his
mouth to them. I gasp as he takes my nipple into his mouth, flicking his tongue
against the tender little peak. His hands knead and rub my breasts like he’s trying
to memorize the feel of them. I close my eyes, relishing in his touch, pressing
against the hard bulge of his that’s throbbing against my sex.

I draw Slade’s mouth back to mine, and I kiss him fiercely
as I roll on top of him. I unbutton my short skirt and slide it down my thighs,
tossing it away toward our growing pile of clothes. I kneel between Slade's
legs, I'm wearing nothing but a black lace thong...My hands fall to his belt, I
rip open the buckle and draw his jeans down his perfectly muscled legs. His
long, thick member springs up, unhindered by sheaths of denim and cotton. I
can’t help myself. I take him in my hands, and work my fingers up and down the
whole hard length of him.

Slade's eyes close in rapture, and I straddle him as I
stroke harder and faster. His hands find my hips, and his fingers dig hungrily
into my skin. I poise myself just above him, my soaking wet slit hovering an
inch away from his throbbing manhood. I let the tip of him glance against my
wetness, and his eyes spring open, smoldering with need. I place my hands on
his shoulders, balancing just above him, just over his massive, staggering
member.

Our twinned howls of delighted satisfaction mingle in the
air as I slide down onto this pulsating hardness. The tiny cabin spins around
me as I feel him parting the silky flesh inside of me. He presses up into me,
reaching depths that I never knew existed. I’m full of him, every inch of me. I
let my head fall back as I savor this first moment of fulfillment and utter
ecstasy. I can feel him grown even harder inside of me, and as I meet his gaze,
the frenzy between us sparks and ignites.

I buck my hips against him, bringing him further and further
into my aching, wanting body. He meets my every stroke, thrusting into me with
a fervor I’ve never seen. I lean into him, and his graceful, pounding thrusts
rub against my clit. My mouth falls open as my body is filled with electric
sensation. I can feel him within me, so deep it’s like he’s going to burst
through at any moment. I’m engulfed by sensation, by impending bliss. I can
feel orgasm bearing down on me. Closer...Closer...

Once again my body is in the air, spinning around. I land on
my hands and knees, facing away from Slade. He slides inside of me once again,
and my shattering cry rings through the little room. He feels so good from
behind that it’s almost too much to handle. I lean into his staggering thrusts,
moaning from my core, as he takes me in this new way. His strong hands are on
my ass, digging into my tender skin. I throw my head back and rock back against
him, harder, and harder. His fingers tighten, and I know that he’s close. I
want so badly to come while he's inside me. I lower my torso and slam back
against his long member, driving him straight through me, to that untouched
spot behind my navel, the very center of my bliss.

I come, screaming and shivering with indescribable pleasure.
Slade pulses deep within me and joins me in bliss, coming hard inside of me. We
buck against each other wildly, riding the waves of our orgasm with vigor. I
can feel him filling me, and I want every last drop.

Our motions slow, and I lower myself onto my belly. Slade
topples down beside me, his arm thrown over my body. He pulls me to him, my
back is pressed up against his chest. Even our breathing is as one. I close my
eyes, committing this to memory: the two of us, naked and pressed in the back
of his tour bus in the heart of New York City. If I could suspend any moment of
my life into eternity, this would be it.

“Thank you for coming back to me,” he whispers into my ear.

“Thank you for letting me in,” I tell him.

“Will you stay?” he asks.

“Do you want me to?” I counter.

“Yes,” he says.

“Then yes,” I reply, “Yes, and yes, and yes...”

We lapse into happy, encompassing laughter, burrowing deeper
into each other’s arms. We lay together for hours, drifting in and out of
sleep, trading whispered confessions and fantasies and desires. The sun rises
high in the sky, and though we both know it might be wise to roll out of bed
and rejoin the world, our own little universe of two is too damn comfortable to
leave so quickly. As the afternoon begins to wane on we finally realize that it
might be best to venture beyond the paradise of our bed.

We get dressed and stumble out into the bright New York
sunlight. The city surges and swells around us; a million lives unfold around
each other. A million narratives, countless hopes and dreams and
disappointments are met and evaded right before our eyes. I grab Slade’s hand
as we make our way to a tiny corner restaurant. For this one moment in time, at
least, my dreams are all fulfilled.

Chapter Fifteen

* * * * *

We dodge curious passersby, whisking our impromptu meal away
to the river park. Gazing out toward Brooklyn, we fill our bellies with bagels
and cream cheese, coffee and cream. I’ve unmoored my entire existence to be
here, and I’ve never felt so scared and so free. I suppose that’s what love
feels like all the time—I’ve just never known it before now. I can’t tear my
eyes away from Slade Hale, the wild, raging warrior of a man who’s come
shredding into my life. No matter what happens to us, I’ll never be the same
for having known him, and I’ll be better for it.

As the sun begins to fall once again, we make our way back
to the hotel. The band mates are assembled, and no one seems surprised to see
me. I accept gracious hugs from each of them, and I’m touched by their
acceptance into the fold. Even Eddie seems genuinely happy to see me at Slade’s
side, and I note with pleasure the absence of any groupies in our vicinity.

A limo whisks us to the next venue: Madison Square Garden. I
step out after Slade, accepting his arm as he offers it. Annabelle’s dressed me
in a stunning midnight blue dress—its classy and badass all at once. I note
with a certain smugness that the flashbulbs don’t bother me when I’m focused on
what’s really important, the crazy wonderful man at my side. I walk into the
venue with my head held high and proudly take my place backstage, right where
Slade can see me.

The band takes the stage to the surging roar of the crowd,
and just like that the New York City concert is underway. Every so often during
the set, Slade glances over at me. I can tell he’s taking strength from my
presence, and that knowledge fills me with joy. Supporting him this way may not
be my one and only calling, but damn does it feel wonderful to feel needed.

Flagrant Disregard rips through their set, charged and blazing.
When the final note soars through the space, the entire place begins to roar.
The very ground shakes with the force of the crowd’s adoration. The band
members line up at the front of the stage and raise their arms, soaking in the
energy of their fans. It’s a perfect moment, an amazing and beautiful instance
of connection in a world where we so often find ourselves alone. I can see now
that these shows are sacred; the bond between the band and the fans is one of
love and adoration.

I was so fearful of this kind of passion before I met Slade.
I didn’t understand how a song could inspire you to action, whether it be
throwing yourself into a mosh pit or taking control of your life. Maybe those
two things aren’t even so far apart. For the longest time, I was blind to this
sort of power, and joy, and potential. My whole life, I’ve only been wading in
the shallow end, going after the attainable, and the safe things in life. But
this here is the deep end. This is where the bottomless possibility lies.

Slade walks my way, the audience is leaping cheering behind
him. It’s all because of him that I finally have the courage to dive into the
deep end. I was telling him the truth—he is worth it. But even more so, he’s
made me realize that my happiness is worth the risk. Better to risk failure and
pain and perhaps even heartbreak than to never truly live. Slade wraps his arm
around my waist and leads me back outside to the tour bus. As I climb the
steps, I even turn around and wave to the cheering fans. The bus starts up, and
we’re off.

“That was amazing!” Dodge shouts, practically bouncing off
the walls. “Madison Square Garden, you guys! I can’t even...Wow.”

“You said it,” Joe grins, amused by the guitarist’s
puppy-like enthusiasm. “Where are we headed next, Eddie?”

“Baltimore!” the manager smiles, slapping his hands down on
the kitchen table, “Crab cakes for all!”

“And you’re really going to come along, Julia?” Annabelle
asks hopefully.

I trade glances with Slade. “I have two weeks,” I tell them,
“Two weeks of vacation time, then back to the hospital. That is, if the
paparazzi have left yet.”

“Only two weeks?” Dodge pouts, “But you’re our good luck
charm! At least, you were tonight. Slade didn't even get stabbed!”

“Those skinheads might have a slightly different opinion,” I
laugh, “Besides, my mom will be sick of feeding my cat in two weeks. It'll be
back to civilian life for me.”

“But what about you and—OW!” Dodge yelps as Annabelle elbows
him in the gut, cutting off his question about the fate of Slade and I as a couple.

“Don’t worry so much,” Slade says to Dodge, patting him on
the back. He grabs a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet and pours a round of
celebratory drinks. We each grab one and toast each other, smiling privately at
our good fortune. The rest of the group falls into happy chatter, and Slade and
I are able to slip away.

My rock star takes me by the hand and leads me back to the
bedroom once more. We perch on the soft bedding and watch the highway fly past
the window. I rest my head against his shoulder, and the strong smell of
whiskey is as enticing as ever. I take a long sip, savoring the burn at the
back of my throat. Slade lets out a laugh.

“Look at you,” he says, “Drinking whiskey like a pro.”

“I have a good mentor,” I say, licking a drop off my lip.

“You’re on the road to ruin,” he jokes, taking a slug
himself.

“Maybe,” I say, “But I can deal with that.”

“I’m so glad you’re here,” he tells me, suddenly serious.

“Me too,” I tell him, “This is exactly where I need to be.”

“And when the tour is over?” he asks, “Do I just drop you
back on your doorstep and take off into the sunset?”

“Maybe,” I say, “I don’t think there’s a rule book for this
kind of thing.”

“No,” he says, “I suppose not.”

“Let’s enjoy our two weeks,” I say earnestly, “Live in the
moment, right?”

“Right,” he says. He leans toward me and lays a sweet kiss
on my lips. He tastes like whiskey, and I can’t help but grin a little. I press
myself against his side, savoring the hard, strong feel of him. Every time our
bodies collide, it feels a little like that first time in the hospital. But it
also feels familiar, comfortable, like I’ve known that this is where I’ve
always belonged, and am only now just remembering.

I watch the cars fly by on the highway as we leave New York
behind. We’re onto another city, another new place. I smile, thinking how
different things might have turned out if I took my two weeks off work just a
little earlier. If I hadn’t been on duty the night Slade came in. Maybe I would
have gone off on my own cross country trip alone, in my little beat up car,
with country music playing and the wind whipping through my hair.

But even if I’d missed him that night in the hospital, I bet
that wouldn’t have been the end. I’m sure that somewhere, out here on the road,
we would have happened to cross paths at some rest stop or country diner. I
know that we would have found each other one way or another. It feels too right
between us for the universe to never bring us together. Slade and I were
inevitable from the start. And what that means after the next two weeks have
gone by, I can’t say for sure. But right now, it just feels right. Out on the
road, miles away from anything I’ve ever known...I finally feel like I'm
alive.