Heaven Sent (20 page)

I wanted to write that when you’re in my arms

I want to hold you so close that we morph together

like an amoeba, and can live out our lives as one

but that would be ridiculous.

I wanted to write a love song

but when I held pen to paper my hand trembled

at the thought that mere words could express how I feel about you

So I didn’t write a love song

I will try again tomorrow.

He finished with a breathy sigh, and looked at me with soulful eyes.

I knew in that moment, with all the absolute certainty that the sun must rise in the east and the mountains will eventually crumble into the sea, that my heart belonged to him. I had been holding a tiny piece of myself at bay since his return. But now I felt I could finally let go. He continued staring at me with eyes that begged for validation.

“That was beautiful.”

“I love you,” he said so softly and sweetly I felt my heart melting with all the quickness of cotton candy as it touches the tongue.

“I know you do,” I said. “And I know you want to protect me. And I love that you want to protect me.” Worry lines slowly scrawled across his forehead, and I could feel a shift occurring, yet I had to continue. “But there are some things you can’t protect me from, Guy, certain challenges I have to stand up to on my own.”

“At least allow me to help,” he said, the corners of his mouth turning down.

“You
have
helped. You
are
helping. Just the fact that you swallowed your angel/manly pride and brought me to this lovely place has helped.”

A small smile crawled onto his downturned lips. “I can help even more.” It was the voice of a little boy. I reached across the table and squeezed his hand.

“I know you can. I’m sure there are other ways you can help. For instance, you can tell me if you think my disguise will fool anyone or not.”

He let out a long, disapproving sigh. “Terrific,” he said. He was doing his best not to pout again. I knew he wanted to help more than I was allowing, and I loved him for it, but attending Erin’s wedding was something I needed to do alone.

*

Two nights later I had the third dream.

I was again at Erin’s tenth birthday party. I looked over to the refreshment table just as I’d done in the first two dreams. This time Matt wasn’t there swiping M&M’s from the candy dish. My eyes scanned the room searching for him.

“What are you doing here?” Erin was standing behind me. I hadn’t seen her come up. This was also different from the other dreams.

I didn’t respond. Instead I turned back to the refreshment table. Something was on that table that didn’t belong there, didn’t belong in these dreams. I had to find out what it was.

“Answer me!” she called.

I scanned the table: Potato chips, Hydrox cookies because Erin preferred them to Oreos…

“Who invited you?” Erin’s angry voice came from behind.

…a dish of Goldfish, a large platter of homemade cupcakes; with chocolate and vanilla frosting, because Erin preferred cupcakes to birthday cake. On each cupcake the number ten had been scrawled into the frosting, and in the center, a single candle…

Erin grasped me on the shoulder.

On the far end of the table, next to a stack of colorful birthday-party napkins sat the Cheerios dispenser from our family cupboard. Matt had helped himself to the Cheerios each time he was in our kitchen. But we didn’t have the dispenser when I was nine or ten, or even twelve. It had been a recent addition, over the past few years.

Erin spun me around. “You lookin’ for Matt? He’s in hell.” Her face was twisted into a grotesque grimace that made her look like a demon.

Matt is in hell… Matt is in hell… Matt is in hell…

The kids at the party took up the chant, just as they had in the earlier dreams.

“No!” I called out. “He’s here. He’s here!”

I jerked upright in bed, my eyes flying open. My sweat-soaked nightgown clung to me like a newborn to its mother’s breast. “Oh, Matt,” I said in a desolate whisper. Tears began to flow from my eyes because I finally understood the purpose of the dreams. The dreams had been sent to me by Matt. Even in hell, Matt had found a way to reach out to me.

I’m always here.

“Thank you,” I whispered, as my tears continued to fall.

When Maudrina arrived the next morning, I’d been up for hours. She arrived right after Suze had left for work, just as I’d asked.

When I heard the knock, I yanked open the door and pulled her in.

“Are you okay?” Ripples of worry grooved her forehead.

“Sit. Sit!” I said, dragging her to the sofa and pushing her down.

“Megan, you’re scaring me.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just that… I heard from Matt.” I could hardly contain myself.

Her eyes widened in disbelief and then softened in sympathy. “Matt’s dead, sweetie.”

“I know, but… he’s been contacting me in my dreams.”

I sat down next to her, and told her of the three dreams, ending with how the third one was different.

“That doesn’t mean he’s trying to reach you, Megan.”

“You know there’s always a truth buried in my dreams.”

“Yes, but—”

I yanked her up from the sofa and pulled her into the kitchen. I opened the pantry, removed the Cheerios dispenser and slammed it down on the counter.

“
This
was on the table in my dream. A table that is exactly the way it was when I was nine except for
this
.”

She stared at the dispenser, then sat down hard on one of the high stools. “Wow.” She took a breath and I could tell her mind was churning away. “Okay. Let’s suppose he is trying to reach you. Have you told Guy?”

“No,” I said softly, my eyes darting away.

“Why not?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want him to come here.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Why not?”

“Okay.” I let out a long breath. “I haven’t told Suze he’s back yet. And I didn’t want him to come here and have Suze walk in and find him here. I don’t know what I’d say to either of them.”

She stared at me for a long moment, considering what I’d said.
“Why… not?”
she repeated with more emphasis.

I leaned against the counter, letting out a deep sigh that felt as if I were opening an old wound. “I meant to tell her,” I started softly. “But a part of me was like… superstitious, like maybe if I told her he was back, he’d leave again. And things were so good between us. It was only recently I realized it was all right to let my guard down.”

Her gaze softened as she recognized the embarrassment reddening my complexion. “I get that. It makes sense,” she said, and gently patted me on the shoulder.

“Thank you,” I breathed.

“Actually, I’m honored I’m the only one who knows.”

I smiled. “You’re my best friend.”

She smiled back, only hers was brilliant, like a sunrise. “I am,” she responded. “So what do you think Matt’s trying to tell you?”

“I don’t know. But I’m sure it’s a warning.”

She picked up the Cheerios dispenser and turned it over in her hands. Seeing her holding it dredged up memories of Matt hanging in our kitchen, popping Cheerios like candy as we chatted—things that would never happen again.

“I got it. It’s a warning about Erin. She’s getting married on
your
birthday.”

“I thought of that, but I already knew that. Matt wouldn’t warn me about something I already know.”

She considered this and nodded. “Maybe he’s warning you about a person. Was there a person in the dream who was out of place?”

“I don’t think so.” I closed my eyes and opened my mind. In a few minutes the dream came rushing back like the tide. I could see everything vividly. “No,” I said, reopening my eyes. “Erin’s parents, her brother and a bunch of kids we went to school with.”

She stood and began pacing back and forth. “I wonder how Aunt Jaz would respond to this?” she said and paced a few more minutes. “Got it. You know what Aunt Jaz would say? She’d say you’re missing something.”

“No. She’d say ‘let’s eat,’” I laughed, hoping to ease the tension I could feel building in the room.

“You’re right,” she said with a momentary smile. “Close your eyes again,” she suddenly commanded. I did as I was told. “Can you see the room?”

I focused my thoughts on the dream. It began playing before me like a movie. “Yes.”

“Look around,” she said, sounding like a school teacher.

I went through the entire dream, trying to notice everything. Nothing. “I’m sorry, Maudrina. There’s nothing out of place except the Cheerios dispenser on the table.” Just as I opened my eyes, I noticed something. “Wait a minute. The Cheerios dispenser is sitting on top of something.”

Her eyes widened. “On top of what?”

I squeezed my eyes shut again and focused on the table. “I see it,” I called. “The M&Ms. The Hydrox cookies. The cupcakes with the single birthday candle. The Cheerios dispenser’s on top of a piece of paper.” My eyes shot open. “A tiny piece of yellow parchment paper.”

*

I couldn’t remember when I’d last thought about the cryptic note on aged paper I’d received that day at school. The message on the parchment had caused me weeks of grief, wondering if Guy was ever coming back. Yet once he had returned, I’d totally forgotten about it.

Maudrina and I were now in my bedroom, kneeling beside my bed, as if we were about to say our evening prayers, staring at the tiny piece of parchment paper we’d placed on top of the bed spread. Of course, this was only after Amanda tried climbing in both our laps several times and then finally climbing on the bed and trying to eat the parchment paper.

My little hell cat was becoming a glutton for attention. She was so cute attempting to get us to adore her. I knew I was right in keeping her true identity a secret. I wouldn’t want anyone to be afraid of her. I placed Amanda in her basket along with both her teddy and toy mouse. That seemed to occupy her for a while.

“It’s a riddle,” said Maudrina. She picked up the slip of parchment from the bed and turned it over, as if examining for finger prints.

“You’re right. Do you suppose Matt is trying to tell us to decipher it?”

“Perhaps.” She set it back on the bed for both of us to see. “It says:
even though your heart may yearn, two have fallen but only one shall return.
”

“I know. I thought it meant Guy wouldn’t be coming back. But he did return.”

“Maybe we’re reading it all wrong. Maybe it isn’t about Guy returning. Maybe it’s about someone else.”

“Who else would return? Roxanne?”

She thought about this a moment. “Your heart would definitely yearn if Roxanne returned and Guy didn’t.”

“But he
did
return,” I reminded her. I let out a long sigh. “This riddle is far more complicated than I ever realized.”

She read another line:
“Two have fallen, one will rise, the one to help you claim the prize.”

“Oh, my God!” I said, my heart doing a flip. “The prize!” I repeated, my voice ringing out. “That part didn’t make any sense when I first read it, so I ignored it. But now I see the prize is Erin.”

Her mouth dropped open. “Yes! And Guy has risen to help you win her back.”

My excitement suddenly faded. “That’s the only reason he’s back, to help me defeat the Satanists and demons.”

Maudrina eyed me cautiously. From the look of her, she knew what I was thinking. “Megan, we don’t know that.”

“That’s why he’s been so insistent,” I said, as the sunshine of my life continued to fade. “Helping me claim Erin from the Satanists who want to wed her to Satan is his mission.”

“You don’t know that Megan, but if that is why he’s back, you need to accept his help.” Her eyes were still on me. They were beautiful eyes, big and brown and full of life.

“Just when I let my guard down,” I muttered softly. My voice dropped as I was overcome with remorse for my once-perfect love life.

“Stop beating yourself up,” Maudrina commanded. “We’re speculating, just throwing a bunch of ideas around. But we won’t know if any of it’s true if we don’t ask him.” Her eyes were on me again.

“He should have told me,” I said, starting to whine. I hate whiners.

“He’s an angel, Megan. They answer to a higher order. And like I said, we don’t know for sure.”

Maudrina was right. I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself and have a conversation with Guy. Things between us were on solid ground. I knew he loved me. I knew he’d be honest with me.

“He hasn’t even met Tony. I bet they’ll get along great,” I said with a melancholy smile.

“How’s your mother’s relationship going, anyway?” Maudrina asked. I knew she was trying to steer my thoughts away from Guy.

“It couldn’t be better. They’re polar opposites and yet they’re like two peas in a pod. The only little snag is he’s allergic to Amanda.”

In that moment, something inside me clicked. It was as if my mind were a giant safe with many tumblers, and in that moment all the tumblers fell into place and the safe swung open revealing its contents.

“What?” asked Maudrina.

“Nothing. I was just thinking about losing Guy is all.”

I couldn’t tell her what I’d just realized, not without revealing the truth about Amanda. I know I should have told her; keeping secrets from your best friend is not good. Maudrina would never judge Amanda.

I’d tell her about Amanda soon, but first I had to talk to Guy. If what I thought was true, there was yet another demon in our midst, and Guy would know how to deal him.

*

I heard the rumble of the motorcycle when he rolled onto my street.

My pulse rate quickened as my breathing pattern shortened. I wasn’t sure what Guy would do when I told him that I suspected that Tony Christopher, my mother’s boyfriend, whom she was just now getting serious about, was a demon—maybe even Satan himself.

Poor, Mom
, I thought.
She sure knows how to pick ‘em.

I recalled the look of fear on Tony’s face when he first laid eyes on Amanda.
Duh!
Of course, I didn’t know she was a hell cat at the time. But still, with all the weirdness that seems to find its way into my life, I should have suspected something.