Authors: Hilary Storm
scalp starts to override the pain in my
body and the fear in my heart.
He pulls back to line up with my
entrance and I begin to pray for a
miracle. I need strength to make it
through this and I need it fast.
I close my eyes and dread him
coming any closer to me. I’m so
exposed and I can’t stand him near me.
“You’re
MINE
. I’m going to mark
you in every possible way. You’ll feel
me deep down every time you even
consider fucking anyone in the future.
I’ll be with you forever. In your head.
In your memories. In fucking your
nightmares. Hell, I’ll even be in your
heart.”
His words hit me and I know he’s
dead on with how this will affect me.
This will haunt me for the rest of my life
and I can’t do anything about it.
I close my eyes just as he leans in
further to make contact. I can feel his
hardness brush against me just as I hear
pounding on the door.
“Ivy, open up!” My brain doesn’t
process who’s yelling my name, but I
don’t care who it is. I just want them to
hear me.
I manage to get out a partial
scream before Dylan covers my mouth.
That just causes the pounding to get
louder as they bust through the door.
Dylan runs from the bedroom before
Aiden manages to get in.
Aiden comes blazing into my
bedroom just as I slide off the bed into a
fetal position. It’s Aiden. Thank god!
“Where is he? I saw his car in the
parking lot.” He sounds outraged.
I can’t form a sentence. I just start
shaking my head no. Back and forth. No.
Aiden runs from the room and
does a quick scan of the house.
“He is gone. I’m calling the
police.” I burst into hysterics. I can’t
believe this is happening to me. I’m not
weak. I don’t let people push me
around.
“Hey, come here.” He says
softly. He grabs the sheet to wrap
around me and then holds me as I lean
into him to cry my eyes out. He engulfs
me in his arms and doesn’t say anything
the entire time I sob. I need him to just
be here for me. I need to let these
emotions out before I have to face
anyone.
I’m so humiliated and dirty right
now. How can I face anyone after this?
My mind is spinning in complete circles
and it takes me a long time to calm
down. I’m so thankful Aiden came when
he did. My gut twists at the thought of
what would have happened if he hadn’t.
I don’t want to go to the police with this
and relive the whole thing again, but I
know I have to. He may try to contact
me again and I’m scared to death that he
will do just that.
Aiden continues to hold me after I
quiet down. I pull away once my tears
have slowed down some and he uses his
thumbs to wipe them away.
“Ivy, we need to call the police on
that bastard.” I nod my head yes and
head to the bathroom. I look around at
the evidence of Taron and feel sick. I
want to turn back time and be wrapped
in his arms. Safe in his arms. I pull my
phone out to see if he messaged me, but
nothing. How can a night start out so
beautiful and turn out this ugly?
Taron
I should have known. She can’t be
mine. I knew that fucking cowboy had a
thing for her. I left her key on the bar.
Nothing like walking in after giving the
girl four orgasms tonight and seeing her
wrapped into the arms of another guy.
She was adamant about not sharing, and I
wasn’t gone forty-five minutes before
she filled the bed. Fuck this.
I leave the door open, just as I
found it. I peel out in the parking lot and
drive around to find a place to crash. I
will sleep in my truck tonight and then
get the hell out of this town in the
morning. I park near the bridge at the
river.
This place just brings back
memories of holding her while we
looked for Eaven. All of the stress of
this fucked up night starts to really get to
me. I get out of the truck and begin to
scream. I yell with everything inside
me. I keep going until my throat is sore
and I feel completely drained. I’m sure
that is going to be great on tour for the
first few days, but I don’t care about
anything right now.
I crawl back into the cab of my
truck and reflect on everything that
happened tonight. How could I have
missed this? I felt like we were on the
same page. I know she feels for me.
Surely she isn’t an ice queen and this
heartless. I can’t believe I let her get to
me like this.
She has ripped out my heart. I
have slowly fallen for her over the last
few months. I have turned away girl
after girl because I only have my eyes set
on her, a lot of good that did me.
I leave the river at 5:00 am and
head to my house after not sleeping a
single bit. I need alcohol. I will drink
this morning and have fun on the tour. I
won’t let her ruin me, or my time on
tour. This is supposed to be some of the
best times of our lives and I’m beginning
this trip with a fucked up head. I need to
get my head straight and cleared of Ivy.
I manage to grab what I need and
go back to my truck and drink it up. The
bus will be here in less than an hour. I
use the entire hour to get lit. I toast
every drink I take.
“To pussy! Pussy that isn’t
Ivy’s!” My thoughts shift to her panties
that I still have in my pocket. I pull the
black strings out of my pocket and wrap
them around my visor. I look at the
decorated g-string and pour an even
larger shot.
“To quiet girls without feisty
mouths.” This will be my new goal. I
need girls with no personality because I
don’t need a challenge. I decide to
forget the shot glass at this point and
start drinking straight from the bottle.
“To the king!” Sure, I’ll drink to
the king, the queen, and anyone else I can
think of at this point. Any one that can
help shift my thoughts away from her.
“What king?” I can’t even think of
a King right now. King Royal Crown
will be the king I drink to. He and Jack
are the shit anyway.
I’m trashed before I know it. I
start singing songs about heartless
bitches and I feel a little better after each
song.
Talon strolls out a little before the
time that Luke should arrive.
“What up brother?” I say with
pure clarity. He looks at me like I have
five heads.
“What the hell are you doing?
You’re drunk the morning we’re leaving
for a twenty-four hour road trip. Damn
it, Taron.”
“Oh, it will be fine. I don’t need
anyone.” He looks at me with more
confusion than before.
“What did you do?”
“I just gave the best way I know
how and what do I get? To look at a
cowboy holding my shit! My shit! It is
mine!”
“Ok. Just chill and rest this off.
I’ll talk to you about it when you make
fucking sense. I can’t understand your
rambling.”
Talon pulls my bags out of the
back end of my truck and puts them next
to his. Holden bursts out the door just as
the bus arrives. I see Eaven on the porch
looking sad. Talon runs to her and they
make me want to throw up. I had
imagined that being Ivy as I left her
apartment. I would have held her tight
and assured her that I would be back. I
would have reminded her that I would
wait to get back to her and would have
stayed focused on music and not pussy,
unless it was hers.
“Time to roll!” I yell at Talon as I
finish locking up everything. I toss my
keys to Eaven and tell her to throw them
in my room.
I claim the back end of the bus and
flop down on the only bed worth lying
on. This bus is much nicer than our party
bus, but it still sucks ass to ride in
constantl y. This ride is going to be
torture. I pull out my phone and look at
the picture of Ivy and I from last night. It
just pisses me off. I throw my phone into
the wall and watch it land on the floor.
“What the hell, Taron. Break
something and I will kick your ass.”
Luke barges in and tosses my phone back
to me.
The screen is shattered. Fuck.
“What’s your problem? This is
supposed to be fun, don’t make me put
you through anger management lessons.”
I just glare at him. I will
not
be
sharing my problems with this asshole.
“I’ll be fine. Just take care of your
damn self.”
He leaves me and I check my
phone to see if it still works. Oh, it
does. The picture of us is more perfect
than ever because now it’s covered in
cracked glass. Isn't that just ironic.
~Four~
Ivy
The police finally arrive and I
have to relive the situation over and
over. I have to tell them that I had
consensual sex with Taron tonight and a
rape kit will only show evidence of
him. They take pictures of the marks on
my wrists, back, and cheek. My cheek
bone is swelling and the pressure is
beginning to hurt.
They don’t find evidence of how
he entered the apartment, so they suspect
he has a key. The only forced entry was
the front door that Aiden busted through.
They won't let Aiden in the room
with me when I give my statement. I feel
disgusting and alone. I can't quit
shivering and my stomach is twisted in
knots. I get sick multiple times before
they release me. Aiden is in the hall and
hugs me the instant he sees me.
“I am so proud of you for going to
the police. I am so sorry you had to do
this alone. Should we call Eaven or her
parents?”
“No, I don’t want to worry them. I
just want to go… I don’t know where,
but I want to leave here.” I say through
the little ounce of voice I have.
“I will take you to our apartment.
Macy will be there.”
“I can't tell anyone about this,
Aiden.”
“What? You have to. You have to
let them know what he did to you in case
he comes around again.”
“Can we talk about this in the
morning? I just want to scrape this
disgusting feeling off of my skin.”
“Ok. We will talk in the mornin'.”
“Thank you for everything.”
“Always.”
We get to his apartment and I am
thankful that his sister, Macy, is already
in bed. I am not ready to talk about it
with anyone. He shows me the shower
and I turn the hot water on all the way. I
stand there and let my skin burn. I take
some of his soap and the smell of man
surrounds me.
I start to gag, so I jump out in time
to hit the toilet before I throw up. My
emotions take over and my tears begin
rushing again. I’m hugging the toilet and
water is pouring off of me. I step back
in the shower and crouch to the floor
tucking my knees under my chin. I let the
water beat all around me and I cry for
what feels like an hour. The water is ice
cold by the time I hear Aiden open the
door.
“Ivy, I want to help you. I just
don’t know what to do.” He continues in
with a towel. He keeps his head bowed
and never looks into the shower. God,
why can't this be Taron. Why can't
Taron be here helping me? I should
have known he would be gone before
morning without a single word.
Last night started so perfect. I try
to think about the good side of Taron and
remember how he felt when he wrapped
me in his arms. I would do anything
right now for his touch.
I barely have the energy to rise