Heir of Pendel (A Pandoran Novel, #4) (74 page)

"Um, confused…?"

He smiled that smile I loved so much, and I felt dizzy all over again.

"I'm not dead?" I asked.

His smile spread as he tucked my hair behind my ear. "Not even close."

"And you're okay," I said, searching him for injuries.

"I am now," he said, kissing my hair. "Let's talk in my room? Where you can sit?"

"Sure."

Alex slid one arm around my waist and used the other to push my cart.

"How long have I been sleeping?" I asked.

"Mm, about a month."

"One
month
?" Another dizzy spell hit me and I wobbled a bit, but Alex held tight.

"Well, you were in a coma for two weeks—"

"A
coma
?" I gasped. I knew there'd be some side effect to all the concussions I'd had lately.

"Yes, well, you spent it at Community Regional, and then you were in ICU for another week and a half, which ended up working out well since there were some things I needed to have taken care of here. Anyway, Community Regional let me bring you here just a few days ago, but a nurse from Yosemite Medical has been coming every day for blood work and also to deliver more saline. You did have a feeding tube down your nose, but it clogged last night, so the nurse came back and took it out. She planned to replace it this morning, but it doesn't seem like you'll need it anymore."

"Oh." It was a strange feeling having so much life happen to you and not be conscious for any of it. At least with sleep, your subconscious still kept track of passing time. But with this I felt no such thing, and my mind reeled to catch up to the present, trying to make sense of where it had been in between.

And then I thought of something. "Um…who's been emptying my catheter bag?"

"Me."

My cheeks burned. "Thanks."

"Don't be embarrassed." He kissed the top of my head. "The nurse offered, but I wanted to take care of you. I'm practicing."

"For?"

"The worse part in 'for better or worse.'" He grinned down at me.

I laughed, and he led me inside his room and closed the door behind us.

"Here, um, why don't we sit on my bed." He led me and my IV cart back to his bed. I then noticed the pile of blankets folded on the floor before the footboard.

"Have you been sleeping on the floor?" I asked.

He grinned. "I didn't want to get tangled up in all your tubing."

"It's a California King."

He chuckled, then grabbed my elbows and held me before him, his gaze keeping me still. "Call me old fashioned, but I didn't feel comfortable sleeping with you without your consent."

"If you don't know by now that you invariably have my consent, I'm not sure what else to do."

His gaze fell to my mouth, and he brushed his fingertips against my lips. "I have a few ideas…" He grinned then gazed back into my eyes. "But right now, I believe I need to fill you in on the past month."

I grinned back. "Yes, that would be nice, too."

"I'll have the nurse remove your IV and catheter when she gets here in the morning." He held my tubes out of the way while I got comfortable on his bed.

"What time?"

"Ah, sometime between nine and ten." He sat across from me, one knee bent and the other leg stretched so that it rested against my knee. I was glad to see he needed to keep touching me as much as I needed to keep touching him.

"Where'd you find this, by the way?" I tugged at my sleeve.

"Stefan picked it out."

My hand froze and my heart lurched. "So it's true…? You've seen him? Stefan's really…alive?"

Alex smiled and nudged my side with his foot. "He's alive. He's here, too, though I imagine he's sleeping at the moment. He's staying in your old guest room."

I wanted to see Stefan immediately, but I didn't think he'd appreciate being jolted awake by me jumping on top of him. Assuming I didn't collapse on the way there. I looked down at my Victoria's Secret shirt again. "You said Stefan picked this out…?"

Alex chuckled. "Well, I'd asked Vera to grab something for you to sleep in and, well, she bought this…" He opened the drawer of his nightstand, and from its shallow depths, he pulled out a wad of black. It was very delicate, very tiny, and very see-through.

"Vera. Bought that. For me."

Alex set the black lingerie back in the drawer and closed it. "Stefan immediately went back and bought what you're wearing now."

Which was something very indelicate, very large, and very
not
see-through.

I laughed. "You didn't have him return the, uh, other thing, huh?"

Alex raised a brow at me with a funny look on his face, and I laughed again. And then I wondered how that conversation had gone between Alex and my brother. I was glad I hadn't been there.

"I mean…I can have her take it back…if you want," Alex hurried to add.

I smiled, but I didn't answer him. It was nice seeing him a little flustered for a change. He narrowed his eyes at me as if he'd read my mind, then shook his head with a grin.

"So." He cleared his throat, folded his fingers together, and wrapped them around his bent knee. "Back to what I wanted to talk with you about…"

"Because the topic of my sleepwear falls in the category of the 'few ideas you have that we'll discuss later'…?"

"Yes." He smiled up at me. "Definitely, yes." He raked a hand through his hair and a clump of it fell against his forehead. I desperately wanted to reach out and rub that clump of silky black hair between my fingers, but his expression turned so serious I resisted that urge.

"I'm not sure how to say this…" He hesitated. "But…Gaia is gone."

His words echoed in my mind until all I heard was his voice, saying gone gone
gone
. I knew I'd been the one to do it, with Nexus's help, but I hadn't
really
known it would work.

"As in…it no longer exists," I said.

A slow nod.

I inhaled slowly, trying to grasp what this meant. Gaia was gone. An entire world—destroyed. I didn't know how to feel about it, especially because I'd been involved.

Alex's eyes moved between mine, searching, digging. "You did it to stop Mortis from coming here, didn't you?"

"Yes…well, that was what I hoped. It did stop him, didn't it?"

"Yes."

I sighed, relieved. "Good."

"But…how did you know? That destroying the shield would destroy Mortis?"

I chewed on my bottom lip and rubbed my thumbs together. "I didn't…know for sure. But…when Eris was about to kill you, everything suddenly made sense. Remember the visions I told you about?"

He nodded.

"Well, at first I thought Gaia had been using her visions to tell me I needed to side with my uncle in order to save you. But then…then I remembered Fleck, and how he'd said he couldn't see the future. What you probably don't know—and I didn't have a chance to tell you with everything going on—was that Fleck had been concerned he couldn't see the future because there was none—at least not for Gaia. And in that throne room, I realized he'd been right. I realized that my visions had been trying to tell me I'd have to be prepared to destroy Gaia's world in order to stop Mortis. That was the only way to destroy Mortis's physical form. And I had to believe…I had to believe your warnings and Tran's warnings and…Danton's warnings got to the people in time. I had to believe the people were able to get out of Gaia—that you would be able to get out—but I also knew that if Mortis got any farther, you'd all be dead anyway."

I paused, thinking back on that moment. The pain, the despair. Alex kneeling before Eris, too weak to fight back. Nexus's dying voice in my mind. My throat clamped down. "I…saw what Mortis was doing to you and the others. He took away your will and your resolve. I knew the people of Earth wouldn't stand a chance, either. It was a terrible risk, but I also knew it was a necessary one. And…and Nexus helped me in the end. Just when I thought I had nothing left to give, just when I thought the power of the shield would burn me up, I heard his voice. He was dying, Alex. All alone. On the bottom of that cliff." I squeezed my eyes shut and a tear leaked out, leaving a cool trail along my cheek. "He was dying and he gave every last ounce of his strength to help me."

Alex grabbed my hand and squeezed it. The pain of Nexus's loss was like a vice around my chest, and my next breath shuddered against it.

"I'm so sorry," Alex whispered, rubbing his thumb over mine.

I sniffled, wiped my nose on my arm, and opened my eyes to find Alex watching me. I suddenly realized I had no idea what he thought or how he felt. His emotions were a blank to me, just as they were supposed to be—without magic. I'd expected to miss that, but it was actually kind of nice. I hadn't realized how loud and overwhelming everyone's emotions were until they were all suddenly quiet.

"I couldn't have done that," Alex said, threading his fingers through mine and staring down at our hands. "Even if I'd been able to wield the power of the shield—which I still have no idea how you managed it, even with Nexus's help—I couldn’t have destroyed Gaia."

"Yes, you could've," I said, studying his face, the strong lines and sharp angles. "By claiming your title as prince, you already sacrificed yourself to save the world. If you'd realized what needed to be done to stop Mortis, you would've done it. Even if that meant destroying a world you called home for so long."

He moved his hand to my cheek. I sighed against it and shut my eyes, feeling the pain of loss ebb and flow.

"I have a new home now," he said softly, rubbing his thumb along my cheek, "and that's with you. Here."

I opened my eyes again and found his. The past events had taken their toll on him, too. His eyes held so much love, but there was also an anguish there that ran deep into his very marrow. I didn't need my ability to sense him to see that.

I placed my hand over his. "Will you tell me what happened?"

"What's the last thing you remember?" he asked.

I dropped my hand back into my lap, thinking. "I remember…the shield disintegrating. I remember an earthquake, and then…waking up in your bed."

His gaze drifted down to my mouth as he slid his hand into my hair. "I thought you were gone, Daria. You weren't breathing and…your heart stopped." His eyes moved back to mine, and I could see how afraid he'd been. I knew that fear because I'd felt it for him when Eris was about to end
his
life. "I…Daria, I tried reviving you. Ehren had to pull me off of you so that Thaddeus and Vera could carry you out of the castle. Eris was gone. The shadowguard were gone, at least Eris's fabrications. The human shadowguard fled, and the dragons took care of the gargons, clearing a path for us to run, but…" He squinted, thinking back. "It was as if Gaia was helping us escape. The entire world exploded to bits, but a clear path ran straight to the portal. We ran for it…all of us—Gesh and the Arborennians and the Nords—and as far as I know, we all made it through. My mother was on the other side, waiting for us with your brother and Master Durus and Headmaster Ambrose."

I zeroed in on those names. Sonya was all right. Thank goodness. But…"So what Tran said was true? Headmaster Ambrose rescued my brother?"

"Yes. He and Master Antoni."

"Why? What's in it for Headmaster Ambrose?"

"I don't believe anything is in it for him. The headmaster…he's always been a bit elusive and complicated. But there's one thing he's always been loyal to—and even Tran will attest to this—and that is Gaia. Do I think the headmaster deceived your grandfather? Yes, many times. The headmaster did many things behind the scenes, more than any of us really know, but everything he did, he did it because he believed it was what was best for Gaia. He wasn't an initial supporter of your grandfather when your grandfather took the throne, from what I hear, which is why many people believe King Darius appointed him to his council so early on. To keep his enemies close, you know. While the headmaster may not have been loyal to King Darius, he was irrefutably loyal to Gaia, and he would do anything to make sure Gaia's will was done. From what I understand from Tran, he intended to work both angles, appearing to help Eris but working behind the scenes to make sure Eris didn't get out of control. His original plan was to take the shield away and hide it, but then Eris attacked Stefan and King Darius, and the headmaster started believing Gaia wanted something very different from what he'd originally thought."

"So did he think Gaia wanted him to save my brother? And why didn't he save my grandfather, too?"

"He didn't know if he
could
save Stefan. He thought they were both gone, but Eris charged him with…ah, disposing of the bodies. Headmaster Ambrose realized Stefan was still alive—though barely—and then he and Master Antoni brought Stefan to the underground tunnels. Their plan was to take him somewhere safe, once his health stabilized—somewhere he could hide until he had the strength to fight back, but then the world exploded, so they brought him to Earth, with Master Durus's help, and…that brings me to my mother."

He hesitated then squeezed my hand and stared at the comforter. "She's…having a difficult time."

"Because of your father," I whispered.

He nodded once.

My heart squeezed—for him, for Sonya. For myself. I hadn't known what had happened to Cicero—none of us really had, but it looked as though he'd been killed right after my grandfather. In my mind, Cicero smiled. In my heart, Cicero laughed, that big boom of a laugh. My father had always brought it out in him. And now they were both gone. My eyes burned as I held tight to Alex's hand, threading my fingers through his to let him know I was there. To let him know I would always be there, and that he could lean on me if he needed to.

"Did…did Headmaster Ambrose tell you?" I asked quietly.

His jaw clenched and unclenched and his eyes turned glassy. "Yes." The word barely fell out of his mouth. "None of…none of King Darius's men survived…except Stefan. If only…if only I'd been there, maybe he wouldn't…" His voice broke and he stopped talking.

I scooted closer to him and placed both of my hands on his face, lifting it so that he was forced to look at me. "Alex." I stared deep into his eyes, so close I saw the little flecks of brown around his pupils. "It is not your fault." My own voice cracked, my eyes brimming with tears. "Do you understand? There is nothing you could've done to stop Eris. Not then. Even if you'd tried, Eris would've killed you too. Your father…he is—was one of the greatest men I have ever known. He gave his life protecting the very thing he swore to give his life to protect. Don't regret that for him."