Hell Bent (27 page)

She rinsed him again then patted his shoulder and he sat up.  She massaged his back with  the thick suds on her strong fingers digging into his knotted muscles.  He was so drunk on the feeling his chin dropped to his chest and his snore woke him.  This was the most relaxed he’d been in forever and she seemed determined to take him to the next plane, but her sudden words jerked him back to reality fast.

“I realized last night how much I miss working with com equipment.  I’d really like to learn how to rig  and fly drones like Dexter’s.”  Her fingers focused on a knot near the top of his shoulder, but Cade could only focus on what she’d say next.  He waited with baited breath, because his gut was telling him ahead of time.

“I called my old CO today and asked what the odds of me getting into that training would be and he said he would recommend me.  He thought for sure with my record I’d be accepted.”

“You’re signing another contract?” Cade asked, his body going stiff as a board.

“I haven’t decided yet, but I’m thinking about it.” She stopped massaging and rested her palm on his shoulder.  “I can’t work for David and keep the family peace, which I’m determined to restore before I leave.  If I sign two more six-year contracts I can get crazy good bonuses and retire with a full pension.”

“Or you could come home in a pine box with the commemorative flag,” Cade forced past his tight vocal chords.

“There’s always that risk—there’s that risk here if I go on missions with the team.  With whatever you’re doing now, you risk that too.”

Flashes of Amelia in that bed flew through his mind, and he took quick breaths until they went away.  “I’m not going back,” Cade said, and her fingers dug into his flesh.

“You have that option?” she asked. “You’re not under contract or anything?”

“I’m a free agent, hired at will, and I can do what I want to do as long as it doesn’t compromise the agency.”

“The agency? Are you a spook now?” she asked, and Cade cringed. 

He fucking hated that term, because it didn’t begin to cover what his division of the CIA did.  But he couldn’t explain—without compromising the agency.

“I’m a contractor with government intelligence,” he replied.

“So you’re really not going back?” she asked, her voice holding both hope and disbelief. 

Cade reached back for her arm and pulled so she slid around him.  He sat her on his lap, and the knot in his throat grew. 

“I’m not going back.  I can’t talk about what happened tonight—
last
night, I’m still too raw.  But it was bad and it made me realize a few things.  Important things that I’d  overlooked in my effort to run from my fath—from Phil Winters.”

“What did you realize?” she asked, her voice trembling, her eyes intense.

“I realized that I got off course by joining the military, but I have enough money that I made from that mistake to fix it.  I’m going to apply for med school, but I’m not sure I’ll get in.  It’s been so damned long.”

“They’d be stupid not to take you.  You’ll get in,” Cee Cee said with confidence, laying her hand on his face.  “Because you are the most competent…” She stopped, to swallow and her lower lip wobbled.  “Determined and caring person I’ve ever met in my life.”

“That’s why I love you, Brat—
that
right there.  You are the only person in my life who has always believed in me and supported whatever I wanted to do.  You see in me what nobody else in my life has ever recognized and I’m so damned thankful for that—for you.”

Her eyes clouded, and her lips wobbled. 

“How in the hell can I leave you?” she whispered brokenly. “That’s why I told my CO I’d think about it.  I had no idea what your plans were.”

“I’m not sure you want to take on my plans this time, sweetheart.”  His included a ready made family, he was not going to force upon her.  She was young and had too much living left to do before settling down.  Cade swallowed hard and the words tasted bitter on his tongue. “If you really want to re-up, I think that’s what you should do.  We can talk again after your contract is up.  We’ll both probably be in a better place.”

“Are you making my decisions for me again, Cade Winters?” Cecelia asked, her hand dropping from his face.  “Because you know how that turned out the last time.”

It was his turn to frown. “No, I’m letting you make your decision, Brat—I didn’t say anything about you signing another contract.”

“This time you’re pushing me
into
signing.”  She stood in the tub, and stepped out and water sluiced down her perfectly toned body to pool at her feet.  Walking to the vanity, she snatched one of the towels off the stack under the counter, and wrapped it around herself then spun to face him.  “If you want to get rid of me, just say so, Cade, and I’ll be out of your hair tomorrow.” 

With that she grabbed the door and walked out leaving Cade more confused than ever.  He didn’t know if he’d ever understand women, but he knew if he wanted to keep this one in his life he’d better figure it out fast.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Cade woke with a start when his phone rang loudly beside his ear.  Beating around on his pillow blindly he grabbed it and opened his dry eyes. 

“Hello?” he growled, frowning as he sat up, whacked his head on an upper bunk and cursed.  Rubbing the stinging spot on his scalp, he looked around the unfamiliar dark room trying to figure out where in the hell he was.  Kazakhstan?  Mumbai? Libya?  Cade could name off a thousand nasty places, so he gave up.

But where in the hell
was
he and how had he gotten here? 

He searched his mind but couldn’t remember.  The last thing he remembered was being in the bathtub in Logan’s quarters.

“Cade this is Ronnie,” she said, and her tone was morose.  “I’m sorry for calling you so early…are you sitting down?”  Pulling the phone away from his ear he looked at the display to find it was six o’clock in the morning. 

“Laying down for the first time in forty-eight hours, so can you call me back in six?” he asked gruffly.  He thought by noon his brain
might
be functioning at least at half-capacity.  At least he might know where he was.  Right now he was about to place a bet on a lumberyard, because someone was snoring so loudly he needed earmuffs.

“
No
, I need to tell you something…”  she said in the same tone—flat, concerned.

“Tell me so I can go back to bed.”

“Phil is dead.”  The words rang inside Cade’s skull and he wondered if he was still dreaming.  “You there?” Ronnie asked after a minute.

“Yeah, I’m here—how’d he die?  How’d you find out and when?” His brain swirled as Cade tried to figure out how he felt about that.  Elated, disgusted, vindicated, a little sad for him that he lived such a narrow-minded vile life?  And then he remembered Domingo—no what he felt was cheated—for that kid.  Phil Winters had shirked his responsibilities even in death.

“Mother called me this morning and said the police notified her last night his body had been found in a hotel room.  I, ah, called the detective and found out he died with his pants around his ankles and a lipstick ring around his dick, which did not surprise me at all.  I tried to call you yesterday.  She’s mortified and afraid that her friends will find out.  Can you believe after thirty-five years of marriage to that man, that’s all she is concerned with?”

“I was in Mexico,” he informed. “And yeah, I can definitely believe that.”

Social status and money were the only thing his mother had ever been concerned with.  After his confrontation with Phil at the party he knew that is why he married her, and she married him. 
Our arrangement works for us
.

“That’s not all I needed to tell you…I think I might be the reason he kicked off,” she said, and he heard a little bit of guilt in her words.  “You know how I am when I’m bored.  I ah, thought I might could help your cause a little.”

“My cause?” Cade said, now fully awake as he threw his legs over the side of the bed.

“With Domingo,” she clarified.  “I also got a call from the DNA clinic yesterday, and he’s definitely Phil’s son.  I called to inform him of that fact and told him I’d filed suit on Amelia’s behalf to have him declared financially responsible.  Did you drop her off at the shelter?”

Like he was sucked through a vacuum, Cade’s mind sucked back in time to the cartel compound, to finding her in that bed to…her agonized cries. 

“No, she’s dead,” he replied, forcing the bile back down his throat.

Ronnie sobbed and sucked in a sharp breath.  “Oh, man that is awful for that kid.  This is a mess,” she said, her voice shaking.

“Not so much of a mess—I’m going to take responsibility for him,” Cade replied and suddenly there was dead silence on the line.

“Why would you do that? How can you when you’re always off on some secret mission?  You need to think about this, brother—because a child is a lot of responsibility.”

Cade wished Phil and his mother would have realized that a long time ago and saved them all a helluva lot of misery.

“I know what I’m taking on, and I can do it because I’m not going back.  I’m staying in Texas to go to medical school.  Yeah, that will be tough to do with a young child, but I’ll work it out.  That kid deserves a good life.” 
And he’d promised Domingo’s mother he would give it to him
.

“Oh, Cade…” she whispered, and he thought she was sobbing again.  “Trace and I will help—”

“You’re in Amarillo and I’m in Dallas—that’s not going to work.  I said I was staying in Texas, not coming back there.” 

His mother was still there and all the nastiness that Phil had done was sure to come out now that he was dead.  People had kept their mouths shut about him out of fear while he was alive, but Cade knew all bets were off now.  His mother would serve herself well by selling the house and moving too.

“I’m going to get the custody papers started and tell Mother about this.  It’s not like she’s the grieving widow or anything—she’s in damage control mode.” Veronica sounded all too excited about that prospect, but Cade was thankful she was taking on the drama for him. 

“Thanks for running interference,” he replied.

“If she doesn’t want her
very
dirty laundry aired, she’d also better get to setting up a trust fund for Phil’s
only
son or I’ll sue the estate for support.”  She let out a long-winded, but happy sounding sigh.  “I’m so glad to have my baby brother back…you
are
my brother and my only family now.  I love you, Cade.”

“I love you too, Ronnie.”  Cade felt like a lead weight had been removed from his chest with Phil’s death, and his decision.  “I’m glad to be back too…thanks for all you’re doing.”

Cade hung up the phone, but he knew his sleep time was over.  He had things to do today, and needed to do them quickly.  First on his to-do list was driving out to the Logan ranch to talk to Cecelia’s daddy.  He needed to rally the troops, and have the talk with the man he should’ve had six years ago.

*** 

Cecelia’s heart was sad as she sorted through the brochures she’d picked up at the recruiter’s office Saturday morning and the printouts she’d made of the information she’d found online during her weeklong search. 

The six-year contract would be drawn up as soon as she decided which classification she wanted—several had been offered, including drone pilot school. She should be freaking excited about this new start.  She’d be doing something different this time, learning a new skill.

But she was just about as sad as she’d been in six years.   It kind of felt like the last time only different.  This time, she wanted to stay, but Cade evidently wanted her to go.  He sure hadn’t tried to talk her out of it this time.

If that’s what you want to do, I think you should do it
.

Well she had—she’d turned in her notice at Deep Six, but hadn’t had to serve it out because she’d talked Susan into hiring Lou Ellen, who was out of a job since Allison decided to retire from politics.   When Cecelia talked to her sister-in-law midweek she was told Lou Ellen and Deep Six was a match made in heaven for everyone except Dave.  He was in hell and wanted her back in a bad way, told Susan to offer her whatever she wanted, even an agent’s job. 

That gave Cecelia’s ego a boost, but it just wasn’t an option. 

The only person she hadn’t talked to was Cade.  He hadn’t called her, and she sure wasn’t going to call him.  He had about a week to figure things out, or she was going back.

If he had the desire to figure them out. 

He said he loved her, but then didn’t say a damned thing to make her want to stay.  She loved him too, but that didn’t mean they had a future, or that he wanted one with her.

Emotion built in her chest like a tea kettle and her eyes watered, but she sucked in a deep breath and blew it out like she had for the last week to calm herself.  She was not going to cry, wail or act like the last time she left.  This time she was leaving as an adult—making an adult choice about her life.  This was her decision, and hers alone. 

Sometime before she left she was going out to her parent’s ranch and make amends too.  Now that she’d decided to re-enlist she was a little afraid if she went there she would end up leaving like she had the last time, but it needed to be done.  If something happened to her while she was gone, she didn’t want there to be any regrets between them.  She’d had some close calls during the last six years that drove those regrets home to her.

Cecelia jumped on her small sofa when someone banged on her door three times and it rattled in the frame.  She reached under the couch cushion and pulled out her pistol then walked to the window to peek out the curtain.  When Cade’s eyes met hers, her insides went haywire with so many emotions she thought for sure her brain would short-circuit.

“Open the door, Brat,” he growled, his eyes narrowing.  Her eyes tracked down his body and her brows pinched together. 

A suit?  Had someone died?
She wondered, but damn if he didn’t look delicious with his lightly tanned skin in stark contrast to the very white collar of the dress shirt.  The teal blue tie turned his eyes the color of the ocean and she melted under the heat in his intense gaze.

He dragged his eyes from hers and banged on the door harder.  Cecelia’s heart pounded just as loud as she dropped the curtain, put her pistol down on the table by the door and fumbled with the locks.  She opened the door and stepped back, but gasped when she saw the dozen roses in his hand and the look of determination on his face. 

His arm shot out to shove them into her chest. 

“Hold these,” he growled, and she grabbed them to bury her nose in the center of the bunch and inhale deeply.

Cade bent to the right outside the door and grunted as he came back up.  She backed up so he could come inside, but a baby carrier came first, with a peaceful light-haired infant inside sucking on a pacifier with a smile painted on it, which made her smile too.

Cade didn’t stop though, without a word of hello, he carried the baby over and sat the carrier down by the sofa then turned around.

“I’ve talked to your parents and your brother—we are not letting you leave.  And your CO and recruiter have concerns about your panic attacks so they are reporting it to Medical.  Your new contract probably won’t be approved without extensive tests, so there’s no sense in signing one,” he announced without preamble.

Her fingers tightened around the base of the roses and a thorn pricked her through the thin tissue paper covering them.  How could she be happy and so pissed off at the same time?  Those two emotions definitely didn’t fit together, Cecelia just couldn’t figure out which she wanted to go with. 

She knew one thing though—this is
not
how a man asked a woman to stay for the only reason she would
agree
to stay.  Slamming the door, she laid the roses beside her pistol and put her hands on her hips to let out a loud game show buzzer sound that both woke the baby and made him cringe.

“Wrong approach—try again, and how
dare
you contact my CO!” she said, her eyes darting to the baby who was now whining and squirming in the carrier.

“I’ll
dare
whatever it takes to keep you here.  If we have to hog-tie you, that’s what we’ll do—that is from your father.  You aren’t leaving, Brat, and that’s my final answer,” he growled, crossing his arms over his chest.

And dammit, she couldn’t help but notice, like she had with the tuxedo at the party, how his thick biceps stretched the material making her want to take his coat off to feel them.

“Well, since neither you or my family make final decisions for me, and you already have on your salesman’s shoes,
convince
me to stay,” she said, her heart begging him to give her the right answer.  “Why are you dressed like that anyway?  Who died?”

Cecelia laughed, but his eyes darkened and his frown deepened, which caused her heart to squeeze with incredible fear. She walked over to him and put her hand on his arm. 

“Who died, Cade?  Are my parent’s okay?” 
God, please let them be okay
.

“They’re fine, except they can’t figure out why their daughter, who has been home three months, hasn’t come out to see them.  Your mother cried, because she thinks you hate them,” he informed, and her fingers dug into his arms as guilt like she’d never experienced before washed through her and her and her knees buckled.

“I don’t hate them—I—I just don’t want to disappoint them again.”  She released his arms and turned away.  “Why did
you
go out there is the question.”  Now, she would have a doubly difficult time mending fences when she went to talk to them, because he’d stirred them up.

“I went out there because I needed your daddy’s permission to do what I should have done to keep you home six years ago,” he replied.

She turned around to thin air, her eyes dropped down to his and her heart stopped when they slid to his hand. 

“You are the most irritating, stubborn and confusing woman on earth, Cecelia Logan—but I can’t deny the fact that I’ve been in love with you since the moment we met.  I’ve been all over the world, had all kinds of distractions, tried to
force
you out of my head and heart, but that hasn’t changed.  I know now it
won’t
change, so I’m stuck with you, Brat.”  He sighed, and pinched his lips. “I surrender.”