Hemlock (33 page)

“What did I do?” Because I must have done something.

He shook his head. “You didn’t
do
anything. It’d be like blaming a tornado for ripping through a trailer park. The tornado’s just minding its own business. It can’t help what it is.”

A tornado. Something that destroyed everything in its path. A natural disaster. Me.

Almost at once, Jason realized his analogy might not be flattering. “That realy didn’t come out right.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said, looking away. My eyes filed with tears. “It’s accurate.” I couldn’t handle this. Not now. It was too much.

I started scrambling back up the slope. I heard Jason folow, but I didn’t stop. I just wanted to be far away from him.

“Mac . . .” He grabbed my arm.

I jerked away, like his touch burned. “Please,” I whisperI jerked away, like his touch burned. “Please,” I whisper-begged, “just leave me alone.”

“So you can what? Pretend I never told you?”

I turned and wiped the tears from my cheeks. “What do you want from me, Jason? Do you want me to say it’s okay? It’s not.”

He reached for me a second time. Without thinking, I pushed him, my palms connecting with his chest so hard that they stung.

He stumbled back and just managed to catch his footing.

My voice came out with the hint of a growl, almost like I was infected. “She was my best friend and you let me be the reason she was hurting and you never said a thing.”

Jason tensed. “You want to talk about keeping secrets? What about what’s been going on between you and Kyle? Or how about the fact that he’s supposed to be my best friend and neither of you told me he was infected.”

I let out a startled, tear-choked noise. “What would you have done? In case it slipped your mind, you’re a member of the largest anti-werewolf group in the country.”

Jason swalowed hard.

“Yeah,” I said, when he didn’t respond. “That’s why we didn’t tel you.”

He stepped toward me, stopping just out of reach. “You didn’t give me a chance, Mac. Either of you.”

I crossed my arms. If I kept my arms crossed, I wouldn’t shove him again. And I couldn’t shove him, because once I started, I wouldn’t stop. I would hit him again and again until my muscles went limp and love was the last thing he thought of when he looked at me.

at me.

“Derby threatened to hurt you if I did anything to talk you out of the Trackers. He acted like he’d kil you before letting you walk away from them.”

The blatant skepticism on Jason’s face was borderline insulting.

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe he was bluffing?”

I stared at him, shock slipping through my rage. “You saw what he did at Trey and Serena’s. He had a Taser pressed against Kyle’s throat.
A Taser
.” A shudder swept through me. “He wanted you to kil Trey. He set fire to their house. He was wiling to kil their brother to prove a point.” My shoulders shook and my throat burned as I remembered the taste of smoke and the seconds and minutes when Kyle was inside the house. “Do you realy think a man like that
wouldn’t
folow through on a threat?”

“Yeah, wel, maybe you should have let me be the one to worry about that. I could have handled it.”

A laugh—strangled and bitter and dismissive—escaped my throat before I could stop it. “Right. ’Cause you’re so great at handling things.” I uncrossed my arms and closed the distance between us. “Tel me what you would have done?” My chest ached, like I was being puled apart.

I thought Jason would walk away or back up, but he stood his ground.

We were so close that I could feel his breath on my face. “What would your grand solution have been?” I heard my father in my voice. Cruel. Ugly. Determined to draw blood. “You can’t take care of anything or anyone. Not even yourself.”

Jason’s eyes flashed. “Not like Kyle, right? Kyle takes care of Jason’s eyes flashed. “Not like Kyle, right? Kyle takes care of everything and everyone.”

“He’s never passed out drunk in a bar bathroom when I needed him!”

Jason glared. “At least I’m human.”

I snorted. “After what I saw last night, being human isn’t exactly a rousing endorsement.”

I turned to leave, but Jason caught my arm, puling me back and spinning me around. I was too surprised to struggle.

His eyes were frantic and angry. He looked a little crazy—like an addict who was climbing the wals for a hit. Before I could pul away, he kissed me like a blow.

UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE

HarperCollins Publishers

.....................................................................

IT WAS LIKE STEPPING INTO A PUDDLE WHILE HOLDING a live wire.

A thousand-volt shock coursed through me, rooting me to the spot.

spot.

And that’s why I wasn’t pushing him away: the shock. My lips absolutely weren’t parting. And I was raising my arms to shove him back, not pul him closer. And that smal noise that I made deep in my throat was anger. Totaly and undeniably. And . . .

Oh God.

I wrenched myself free and stumbled away. This wasn’t happening. My life was
not
becoming one of those torrid teen-angst shows on cable.

But then a handful of pebbles and dirt slid down the hil and I turned toward the noise. Kyle stood at the top, staring down at us, his face a blank mask.

Something inside my chest splintered.

Without a word, he turned and strode away.

It was official: my life belonged on the CW.

“Kyle! Wait!” I scrambled up the slope and made it halfway before Jason, who was folowing, grabbed my arm.

He probably just meant to stop me, but I lost my balance.

Rocks and gravel scraped my skin and the air was forced out of my lungs as I somersaulted down the hil and landed in a heap at the bottom.

The world was stil spinning when Kyle lunged, moving so quickly that one second Jason was on the hil, staring at me with his mouth open in shock, and the next they were both crashing into the stream.

Kyle made it to his feet first. Jason, much less graceful, gained his a second later. The water was only waist deep, but they were his a second later. The water was only waist deep, but they were both soaked.

“What the hel is your problem?” sputtered Jason, pushing his wet hair back from his face.

“Oh, I don’t know. One minute you’re kissing my girlfriend and the next you’re throwing her down a hil.”

I pushed myself to my hands and knees. Both boys ignored me.

“Girlfriend? That’s cute.” Some people yeled when they got angry. Jason got sarcastic. Always. “Are you taking her to the dance next month? You should probably cal ahead; I’m not sure if they let pets in—even ones that are house-trained.”

“Stop it, Jason.” Both my voice and legs wobbled as I got to my feet.

Jason glanced at me, and Kyle took advantage of the opening to shove him.

If Kyle had used al his strength, Jason would have gone flying.

As it was, he just went under. Shivering and cursing, he broke the surface.

He splashed his way to Kyle and grinned—a tight, angry smile.

Before I realized what he was going to do, he slugged Kyle in the jaw.

Last night, when Jason had hit Trey, he’d been wearing some sort of protective plate over his knuckles, and for good reason: werewolves could take a lot of damage, even in human form. Their bones were stronger than ours.

This time, though, Jason’s fist was bare. He let out a howl of pain, but Kyle barely moved.

“I trusted you,” panted Jason as he tried to shake the numbness

“I trusted you,” panted Jason as he tried to shake the numbness out of his hand. “And al you did was lie to me. About what you were. About what was going on with Mac.”

Kyle touched his jaw, not like it hurt but more like he couldn’t believe Jason had actualy hit him. “What was going on with Mac wasn’t any of your business.”

“The hel it wasn’t.”

This had gone far enough. I wasn’t going to let them use me as an excuse to fight. I kicked off my shoes and waded into the stream. Even though the day was warm, the stream was freezing. I winced as needles of cold stabbed my feet and frigid water soaked my jeans.

“Stop it, both of you.” I held out a hand, palm facing outward, like a traffic cop, to each of them. I glowered at Kyle, then scowled at Jason. “You can’t blame Kyle for not teling you he was infected—not when you were in the Trackers. And I could have told you what was going on with us, so that’s not al Kyle’s fault, either.” My teeth started chattering. “Besides, you’ve kept your own secrets.”

Jason glared at me, the green in his eyes picking up and reflecting the sunlight on the stream. “Not from Kyle.”

The cold from the water worked its way up through my body, spreading frost toward my heart. “What do you mean?”

Jason stared past me, eyes fixed on Kyle. “I’ve always told him everything. He knew I was going to break up with Amy and he knew why.”

Shaking my head, trying to make sense of the words, I turned.

“You knew?”

“You knew?”

He didn’t say anything.

Each breath I took seemed to freeze in my chest. “You knew what was going on and you didn’t tel me?”

A pleading expression crossed his face. “It’s not exactly the sort of thing you can just tel someone. Besides, would it have done any good? Would it have changed anything?”

The ice inside my chest shattered in a burst of heat.

I splashed toward Kyle and shoved him. It was like trying to move a boulder, but I didn’t care. The gesture was symbolic—

even though he barely budged.

I could have stayed away from Jason. I could have been there for Amy instead of being completely oblivious to what was happening. I could have changed things if only Kyle had told me what was going on. If only he had given me the chance.

“Mac . . .” He reached for me and I stepped away.

“The two of you can tear each other to shreds for al I care.” I was done. I was
so
done. Amy, Jason, Kyle—the three people I had trusted most had kept everything from me.

I made my way to the edge of the stream, my numb feet sliding on wet rocks. I stepped out of the water and puled on my sneakers.

Kyle waded to shore. I ignored him.

I scrambled up the hil and across the yard. Trey was sitting on the steps and Serena was leaning against the porch railing, stil holding the red T-shirt.

Outwardly, Trey looked calm and thoughtful, but his eyes gave Outwardly, Trey looked calm and thoughtful, but his eyes gave him away. They fixed on me with an intensity that would probably have been unnerving if I wasn’t feeling so dead and tired inside.

“How much did you hear?” I asked them. We’d been far from the house, but probably not far enough to escape a werewolf’s sharp ears—especialy given how heated things had gotten.

“Pretty much al of it,” admitted Serena. She blushed. “Sorry.”

I shrugged. It didn’t matter. I was too emotionaly drained to be embarrassed. “Not your fault. Do you think cabs come out this far? I have to go back into town.”

No way was I staying here while Jason and Kyle played a rousing game of Who’s the Biggest Hypocrite.

I thought of the receipt in my pocket. I might as wel try to figure out who al the liars in my life were at once. Besides, it would at least give me something useful to do. And if Ben was lying to Tess, I wanted to know.

Trey stood and stretched. “I can take you. Henry left the keys to his Jeep and I know the back roads pretty wel.” He grinned, but it was forced. “I spend plenty of time running out here.”

Serena frowned. “Trey . . .”

He glanced over his shoulder. “They won’t be looking for Henry’s Jeep, and it’s probably safer for me to drive her than to have a cab come out here. I’l stick to the hunting trails.”

Serena chewed her lip.

“Don’t worry,” said Trey. “I’l be back before you and Noah leave.”

Kyle rounded the corner of the house. Jason was right behind him, breathing hard, like he had run to keep up.

him, breathing hard, like he had run to keep up.

“Mac . . .”

Emotions flickered across Kyle’s face—embarrassment, guilt, worry—but I couldn’t trust any of them. I couldn’t trust
him
.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tel you. I thought I was doing what was right.”

I turned away from him, even though the unhappiness in his voice tried to wrap itself around me like a chain. Trey started for the garage, and somehow, I managed to folow.

“Maybe,” said Jason. “Or maybe you were worried she wouldn’t want you if she knew how I felt.”

Serena snorted as Trey and I reached the garage door. “I’d say you two are lucky if she wants either of you after the way you just acted.”

“So is it al it’s cracked up to be?” Trey puled onto an unmarked

—and unpaved—road. Though caling it a “road” might be giving it too much credit.

“Is
what
al it’s cracked up to be?” I fiddled with the Jeep’s heater, trying to get a steady blast of hot air aimed at my freezing feet.

“Having two guys fight over you.” Trey glanced at me, his eyes a firestorm. “Amy always made me promise not to touch Jason.” His voice was bitter and serious and devoid of the cockiness I usualy expected from him. “She was al about the secrecy.”

I swalowed. Amy had been my best friend, but I knew how selfish she could sometimes be. She had grown up getting everything she ever wanted, and after a while she had started to everything she ever wanted, and after a while she had started to take people and things for granted—especialy as we got older.

“Amy wasn’t always great at considering other people’s feelings,” I said carefuly. “I don’t think it was anything personal.” I grimaced as I realized how horrible that sounded. Trey and Amy had been sleeping together; you couldn’t get much more personal than that.

The Jeep bounced over the road, and Trey swerved to avoid a puddle the size of a smal pond. Trees crowded in on both sides, providing so much shade that it looked like late evening instead of early afternoon. The rain from the day before had left the road slick with mud, and anything less than a four-wheel drive would probably have risked getting stuck or breaking an axle in the water-filed craters that pockmarked the narrow lane.