Her Dominant Doctor (23 page)

So for the next several days, they stayed at her house as if it were a cocoon, insulating them from the outside world while Thomas demonstrated that his former displays of alpha maleness were merely the tip of the iceberg and a dress rehearsal. He was overprotective, autocratic, and dictatorial, and Annie struggled to swallow her frustration and annoyance. His rules were absolute, keeping her in bed to rest, making her eat small meals at regular intervals, and asking her every ten minutes how she was feeling. At first, she was quite entertained when he ‘played doctor,’ insisting on checking her blood pressure and pulse as well as frequent neurological checks. In fact, she teased him suggestively with hopes that he would take the bait and launch into a D/s scene, but that was not to be. Thomas was dead serious in his need to take care of her every need and frequently reminded her that she was recovering from serious injuries. When she argued that it was only a slight concussion, his admonishing stare was enough to make her shut up and let him do what he needed to feel assured that she was fine.

That afternoon reached a breaking point and, with the most innocuous remark, resulted in an intense and acrimonious brawl. Annie had, at the very least, gained enough favor with Thomas that he allowed her to move from lying in bed to lying on the couch, which she considered a small victory, given his adamant order for her to rest. She convinced him that she could rest just as easily in the living room as in the bedroom and was shameless in using a Puss-in-boots type pout that led to his concession. It was with the full agreement and understanding that she was to do nothing except read, nap, or watch television in a horizontal position with soft blankets that he tucked around her form. Annie thought it was beyond overkill that he insisted on walking with his arm firmly holding her as if she might fall. The dizziness had gone away after the second day so she was steady on her feet, but Thomas would not yield. Playfully she ribbed him, asking if he planned to abandon his career freeing him to escort her up and down the halls when she returned to work. When she made the seemingly innocent joke, Thomas stopped in his tracks, frozen in place, looking at Annie as if she were from another planet. Her smile faded and she asked him what was wrong.

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong? Are you kidding me right now?”

His head shook, the incredulous expression growing as his brows furrowed deeply, accentuating the storm in his blue eyes. Thomas placed his arm around Annie and, without another word, led her to the couch, gently guiding her to sit. He paced back and forth a few times before stopping in front of her, hands on hips.

“Do you really think that I am going to let you go back to that place after what happened? I mean, how hard did you hit your head, Annie?” He spat the words in an acerbic tone. “I forbid you from going back there. You could have been killed, for Christ’s sake.”

Annie had felt, since it first happened, that his anger was simmering just below the surface and he was distracting himself by playing doctor and nurse. She was prepared for him to flex his machismo a bit, but was completely taken aback at the acrimonious nature of his retort. To suggest that he would not ‘
let her
’ return to work, that he ‘
forbid it
’ was way beyond her capacity for understanding or tolerance. Through clenched teeth, she replied. “Thomas, I strongly suggest you take a step back and think about what you just said to me because it is in no way acceptable to propose, infer, or demand that I not go back to work.”

“But I—”

Annie put her hand up, stopping him. “I am not finished, Thomas Callahan, so do not speak right now if you know what is good for you.” Thomas glared in response to her ‘talk-to-the-hand’ gesture. “And don’t give me that dom stare either.” She was enraged at his insolent expression, made worse by her short fuse. “I’ve had more than enough of your surly, insistent, and quite frankly, boorish disposition.” Her expression softened as she spoke the next words. “I understand that you were scared and angry at what happened. I was too, believe it or not, but… my job is very important to me, as you well know. Getting injured was a fluke, very unusual, and highly unlikely to happen again.”

The sharp edge of anger still present, Thomas interrupted. “You really think that’s true, Annie? That it won’t happen again? You expressed concerns about that kid, that you were having difficulty figuring him out. There were four of you in the room and
you
were the one who got hurt the worst. Now, I’m sorry for the unfortunate circumstances all around, but I’ll be damned if I let you go back and put yourself at further risk.” Running his hand through his hair, he let out a breath in frustration, then continued. “You belong to me, Annie. You are
my
girlfriend and
my
submissive. You agreed to submit to me and that included an agreement that you would take care of your health and well-being. I told you how I felt, that I needed to ensure you were safe at all times.” His voice softened to a mere whisper. “How do I let you go back there and risk getting hurt again? I can’t take it. Do you have any idea what that phone call did to me? The pure unadulterated terror as the minutes felt like hours trying to get to you? Not knowing anything about what happened or how hurt you were?” His voice caught. “Annie, please understand it from my perspective. I would die if I lost you…”

Sympathetically, she responded. “Thomas, I understand how you feel, really I do. I would feel the same way if the situation were reversed, but, despite any fears I had, I would never ask you to give up your job. What if you got a needle-stick at work? That could happen. Would that be enough reason to walk away from the career you built?”

“It would if it meant losing you,” he answered firmly.

She paused, unable to comprehend the true depth of his statement. “What does that mean, Thomas? That you will leave me if I don’t acquiesce to your demands? You want me to give up my job, who I am?” He stared at her, his lips in a straight line, his jaw clenched. She continued. “If you expect me to do that, then this relationship is far beyond what I signed on for.” Suddenly, he looked stricken. She clarified. “I can’t be a slave to you. Submissive yes, but not a slave. If you demand I leave my job, then the dynamic of our relationship is very different than I interpreted and I just… can’t. I… just… can’t… do… that.”

“Are you saying that you will leave me? Is that what you are telling me, Annie?” The bitter tone in his voice was nothing compared to the stricken expression on his face. He looked like she just slapped him in the face.

Annie had no answer. They were at an impasse. A much larger one than even their living together arguments.
How will we manage this?
He looked shattered into pieces. Annie was frightened, purely terrified of losing the best thing that ever happened to her.

“I’ve got to get out of here. I can’t breathe.” Thomas picked up his keys from the coffee table and walked right past Annie out the front door.

Annie sat in her living room stunned. Her head throbbed. She knew that they were headed for a confrontation, but she had never expected it to go in this direction, that he would walk out on her. As a psychologist, Annie could, from an academic perspective, fully comprehend the place of disharmony and discord that skewed Thomas’ reality. To some degree she had expected it and thought with certainty that she could navigate it with him. But somehow, the argument got so out of control so quickly, she didn’t have a chance to steer them through to sail safely into port. The turbulent seas thrashed them both around, causing them to pull apart and separate.

She had been confident that her behaviorist training could work to her advantage, helping Thomas recognize the unreasonable nature of his fears and put them to rest. It was her expectations that were unreasonable, because she forgot the most important lesson in her education. There is no textbook formula prescribed to change how a person behaves, and motivation to change one’s behavior is only as good as the internal desire to do so. Moral of the story: doctors really do make the worst patients.

Oh, Thomas, please look within yourself and come back to me
. Exhausted, devastated, and utterly alone, she did the only thing left within her capabilities. She cried.

* * *

Thomas drove around aimlessly for hours, filled with bitterness and crestfallen with the disastrous confrontation. He was disappointed in his abominable behavior. He had let his emotions take hold rather than have a methodical and thoughtful discussion with Annie. He had never behaved in such a way before. He felt sick. Nauseous. The rational side of his brain knew his behavior had been unreasonable and immature. When the words left his mouth, he had known he made a grievous error.

I forbid you from going back there
.

Just recalling what he had said made him sound like a petulant child. He was a forty-two-year-old grown man. A surgeon. A dominant. No one could maintain control better than he could. Ever. What had gotten into him to talk that way to her and why couldn’t he temper his fear of losing her with a bit more tact and decorum?

Still, he believed Annie was at fault too, giving him an ultimatum.
Slave!
He never saw her as a slave and she knew it. To say that to him was beyond the pale. He treated her like a goddess, worshiping the very ground she walked on. Even when he dominated her, it was always with reverence and respect. He never took her beyond her limits and always kept her best interest in the forefront of his mind in every action, word, and deed. It pissed him off that she would suggest he treated her like a slave.

Thomas drove and drove, just thinking. His position swayed back and forth. He was ready to never return to Annie one minute and then wanted to go back and beg her to forgive him the next. His thoughts were bipolar and the extremes were giving him a headache. Somehow, Thomas found himself in the driveway at his parents’ house, though he did not make a conscious decision to drive there. It made sense that he landed at his childhood home, where he always felt loved and secure. He could not have asked for better parents or better role models for what he had hoped to have with his Annie.

Sitting in his car staring at the gray-shingled, black-shuttered colonial, he felt the tears form, realizing the last time he was here was to introduce her to his parents. It had only been a few short weeks ago, yet it felt like another lifetime. How could things change so dramatically in one night? Not realizing that his internal monologue had gone on for quite some time, he was surprised to see his mother walking up the driveway with a beige oversized LL Bean canvas coat wrapped around her. His dad’s coat. He stepped out of his SUV as she approached him.

“Sweetie, what are you doing here? Are you okay?” Her eyes widened as soon as she saw his face. Thomas could only imagine what he looked like. Looking at his mom, the only other woman in his life that he truly loved, he shook his head like a sad, lost little boy.

She pulled him into a warm, maternal embrace, instinctively knowing that he needed it more than anything in that moment. Wordless, she led him into the kitchen, telling Thomas that his father was at Gillette Stadium with a friend who had invited him to see the Patriots play the Dolphins.

Thomas sat quietly at the table watching his mother make them tea. He admired his mother and father for their strong marriage and dedication to family. He and his brother were fortunate to have them, especially after hearing Annie’s heart-wrenching story. Thomas could not imagine losing his father now, let alone as a child.
Annie
. He swallowed hard, willing the tears at bay.

Putting a china teacup in front of him, his mother asked outright, “What happened with Annie?”

Thomas was not surprised that his mother not only got right to the heart of the matter, but intuitively knew that Annie was the root cause of his grief. His mother had always been an astute observer and rarely did anything get past her shrewd eye. It was one of the things he most adored about her. In so many ways, Annie’s personality and disposition were similar to his mom.

He had been thrilled that his parents genuinely liked Annie and that she had developed a fondness for them in return. When they’d had dinner that evening, he had thought it would only be a matter of time before they would return to announce their engagement. But instead he had returned seeking tea and comfort after a horrible fight with the woman he loved.

Thomas told the entire story, from the terrifying phone call to his overprotective treatment during her recovery to the argument that caused him to walk out. The only detail he omitted was the D/s dimension of their relationship. It was an insignificant detail, given the depth of their romantic relationship, which had been at the forefront from the beginning. Truth be told, he had loved Annie from the first moment he laid eyes on her, desiring her from the start. It was a genuine, all-consuming love, providing him with happiness and joy at sharing his life and rewarding him with pleasure in the tiny details that made her smile.

“I want what you and Dad have, Mom, a perfect relationship built on mutual respect and trust. I thought I had it with Annie.”

“Oh, Thomas, you are nothing but a lovesick fool, the result of male stupidity and Callahan stubbornness.” His mother’s harsh words caught Thomas off guard. Her features softened as she explained. “You probably don’t know this, but when your father and I were dating in college, he actually broke it off.”

His eyes widened in shock. “No, I didn’t know that. What happened?”

“In our senior year, your father was accepted to law school. Knowing he had three more years of education after graduating from college, he thought it would be best to break it off with me so that I wouldn’t be left behind to pine away for him. He didn’t think it was fair to stay in a relationship because he needed to focus on his studies and passing the bar. Thomas, your father got all high and mighty, making a decision for me that was not his alone to make.”