Her Forbidden Alpha (14 page)

And now he finally had what he’d wanted. She needed him, trusted him to keep her safe. And it might be too late. He’d thought he was ready to face war if it meant keeping her with him. But he hadn’t known what it would feel like to have the blood of children on his hands. “I’m going to the hospital to check on the wounded.”

“I’ll go with you.”

He wanted to shield her from the ugliness but maybe it was futile. She knew what had happened. “All right.” He put his hand on her back and led her out of the war room. Several minutes later, they reached the small clinic in the castle–a clinic not big enough to handle all of the wounded. Some of them lay on beds in the hall while medical personnel from the castle and the surrounding town bustled around with equipment and medicine.

Darius stopped at the first bed they came to. A man lay with his eyes closed, wounds already covered with white bandages. As they neared, his eyes fluttered open. “Alpha.”

“Mark. How are you?” Darius said.

“Not so good.” The man’s eyes flicked to Aislinn and his face instantly hardened. “But better than the others. The Carroway family is dead.”

“We got the ones who did this,” Darius said. “They’re in the dungeon.”

Mark continued to gaze at Aislinn. “Not all of them.”

Chapter 13

Darius stiffened. Mark wasn’t a wolf; he was mated to a wolf. That meant he hadn’t grown up with the strict hierarchy of the pack. Nevertheless, he was part of the pack now. He couldn’t get away with such disrespect to his Alpha and Alpha Female. “My mate had nothing to do with this.” Without thinking, Darius put power into the words, power even a human could feel.

Mark cringed. “I apologize, Alpha.”

“Don’t make that mistake again.” Darius turned to the next bed, but when he saw the look on the woman’s face, the way she stared at Aislinn, he knew this wouldn’t work. He couldn’t expose Aislinn to their hatred. And he couldn’t blame them, either–if Aislinn weren’t his mate, he might feel the same way about her as they did.

He needed to get Aislinn out of here. The problem was how to do it without letting her know why. He leaned toward her. “They’re busier than I thought. It’d be better if I come back later.”

The pinched look around her eyes told him his effort had been futile. She’d understood exactly what Mark had implied about her. “Yes, let’s go.”

He put his hand on her shoulder as he led her away from the clinic. The further they got, the more his wolf settled. His mate was safe from the hatred.

But his mind wasn’t safe from what he’d seen. The injured in the hall were the least wounded, no doubt. But even they had been covered with cuts and bruises and bandages that hid even worse wounds.

If Aislinn hadn’t snuck out, trying to escape, the Humans First team would have succeeded in bringing the building down. It wasn’t his superior leadership that had stopped the tragedy, nor was it the diligence of his warriors in guarding the Holding. It was luck, putting Aislinn in the right place at the right time. If she hadn’t been there, the number of dead and injured would be many times larger than it currently was.

All the deaths and injuries had happened because he had taken Aislinn. It wouldn’t stop as long as she was with him. And from seeing his people’s reactions to her, he knew keeping her here would only bring her pain.

He’d heard all of these arguments; Aislinn had told him, Killion had told him. But it took seeing it to bring it home to him. He couldn’t let his people die because of him. It would drive him mad to let Aislinn go, but he had no choice. His life for his people’s lives. It was the only way.

They neared her room and he knew it was time to let her go, but he couldn’t. He opened the door, followed her inside, then locked it behind him. If he had to let her go, he wanted one more time with her before he went mad.

***

Aislinn thought he’d drop her at her room and then run off to take care of things, but he didn’t. Instead, as soon as the door was closed and bolted, he pulled her into his arms and held her against him. After a few seconds, she relaxed into him, drawing comfort from the feel of his arms around her. “Darius—”

”Shh.” He tipped her chin up and kissed her, softly and gently. His hand rubbed circles against her back. “I need this.”

She did, too. But it would do more harm than good. Each time he kissed her, each time he held her, she found herself less and less able to picture a future without him.

Still, she didn’t resist when he drew her across the room to the bed. The sheets were still tangled from when they’d made love earlier. After that first time on the bear skin rug, they’d moved to the bed for a second and third round before he’d finally drifted off.

And then she’d left. “How can you want me after what I did?” she said.

“Shh.” He removed her clothes, one piece after another, gazing at her with little heat. “We’ll talk about all of that later.” He pushed her panties to the floor, leaving her naked. “Please. I need this.”

She wanted to argue more, but the tone of his voice and his words stopped her. Had he really said ‘please?’ Had he really admitted to needing something? He wasn’t acting like himself.

Darius laid her on the bed and settled on top of her, sliding his cock into her immediately. He moaned and nestled his face into her throat as he seated himself inside her.

He felt like home. She’d needed this as much as he, and as he slid slowly in and out of her, she hugged him to her. “Darius.” Just saying his name made her feel closer to him.

“I can’t.” He spoke so softly she almost couldn’t hear him. “Please.” He pressed his face harder against her throat. “I can’t.”

Aislinn held him tighter. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

He thrust into her harder and she felt that familiar rise as her body, so well-attuned to his, tightened and tingled. He gasped, and when he rose above her on his elbows, his eyes were squeezed shut. She held onto him and met him thrust for thrust.

“Soon.” When his eyes opened, a sheen covered the human-colored brown. “Too soon.” He closed his eyes again, resting his forehead against hers as he picked up the pace even more.

Aislinn strained against him, feeling the orgasm coming fast, feeling dread rather than joy at the speed of it. Then she came, a muted clenching of her pussy walls, a faint echo of the orgasms she’d experienced the night before. Darius stiffened, his cock jerking inside her. Then he rolled off her and pulled her into him.

She knew they needed to talk about the bombing but almost couldn’t force the words from her throat. “Darius, what happened tonight—”

He squeezed her tight. “I don’t want to talk about it yet.”

She pushed against his chest, lifting herself up so she could see his face. “Yet?”

He gazed at her, his fingers brushing over her cheek. “I love you. I know you’ll say it’s too soon and we barely know each other, and all of that’s true. It doesn’t matter. I love you with all my heart and I will until the day I die.” His face looked drawn, his eyes misting.

A chill curled across her heart. “I believe you,” she said. “What’s wrong?”

The corner of his mouth quirked upward. “See? Already you know me so well.” He slid her hair behind her ear then pulled her into him, her head beneath his chin. “I just want to hold you a little longer. Please?”

The chill wouldn’t go away. He’d just told her he loved her, but he was acting like something bad was about to happen.

Aislinn put her arm as far around him as she could and hugged him tight. She couldn’t say the words yet and could barely believe it herself, but she knew it was true. She loved him.

Knowing that didn’t stop her sense of impending doom.

***

Inside his soul, his wolf howled. He held her in his arms but already he could feel himself cracking. How could he give her up? He could barely breathe at the thought.

In the corner of the room, a clock chimed. He counted, his heart growing heavier with each stroke. How long before he had to let her go? It was seven o’clock already. The night had flown.

He had no more time.

Darius pulled back so he could see Aislinn’s face, tracing his fingertips over her cheeks. “You’re right.” His voice sounded scratchy and unused.

“I’m right?” A small crinkled formed between her brows.

“You—” He had to clear his throat. “You can’t stay. You have to go back to your people.”

She pushed up onto her elbow. “But Darius—”

”You aren’t going to play the devil’s advocate now, are you?” And in spite of everything, he felt a spurt of pride to see her like this. She’d argue him about anything, and he’d welcome it if it meant one more minute with her.

“Darius. Killion said I couldn’t leave. Why did he change his mind?”

He brushed the hair back from her cheek but took several seconds before answering. “The Elders told us I’ll go mad if you leave.”

She froze. “Then...you’re sending me away even though you know you’ll go crazy?”

Now he pushed up onto his elbow as well, so they were on an even footing. He couldn’t resist touching her again, running his hand over her shoulder and down her arm. “That’s right.”

“Look at me.” She paused until he did as she’d asked. “Why would you do that?”

“I have to make an impossible choice. You know it–you’ve been telling me since you got here. I have to choose between keeping you and going mad, and letting you go and saving my people. My people or my sanity. There’s no choice.”

Her lips parted. “What about me?”

“You get what you’ve wanted all along–to go home.” He pushed to a sitting position. “You were right from the start. I saw it tonight. They blame you for what your father did even though you played no part in it. If you stayed here, you’d be miserable.” He squeezed her hand. “You’ll be fine. My family and people will be fine. That’s all that matters.”

Tears gathered in her eyes. “You can’t do this.”

Darius kissed her forehead. “You can’t change your mind at this late date, sweetheart. It’s better if you want to leave. Don’t worry about me.”

“Don’t worry about you? Are you crazy?” She pushed herself out of his arms and moved toward her side of bed. “Leave it to a man to do a self-destructive, hare-brained,
stupid
thing like sacrificing himself!” She grabbed the pillow next to her and threw it at him.

This wasn’t how he thought this would go. Shouldn’t she be happy to leave? What the hell was she doing crying and yelling at him? Darius got out of the bed. “This is for your own good. Everyone will be better off—”

”
You
won’t be!” She looked around her and he just knew she was looking for something else to throw at him.

Darius advanced on her. When she grabbed for a glass sitting on the table, he latched onto her wrist before she could get it. Then he took hold of her other wrist and held both of them behind her back. “Why are you so angry? I thought you’d be happy. You’re getting what you’ve wanted all along. Hell, just a few hours ago you tried to escape. Now I’m opening the door for you. So, what the hell?”

The tears that had filled her eyes rolled down her cheeks. With a loud gasp, she began to sob, leaning her forehead against his chest. He held her, releasing her wrists and rubbing her back instead, until her tears finally slowed.

She leaned even more heavily against him. “I love you.” She said softly.

Oh, Great Goddess, no. He brushed his lips against the top of her head. “You barely know me.”

She half-heartedly hit his chest. “That’s my line.” She sniffled. “You’re supposed to say you love me too.”

“I do. Of course I do.” His heart cracked a little more. Now he had the one thing he wanted most—her love. And he had to give it up. He cupped her cheeks. “I always will.”

Her eyes welled up again. “Darius…”

He kissed her quickly to stave off whatever she was about to say. He didn’t want this. Yes, he wanted her love, but not now, not when she’d be better off feeling nothing for him. Now sending her away would hurt them both.

“Maybe we can figure out another way…” she said.

“There is no other way.”

She scrunched up her eyes, a little furrow appearing between them. He just knew she was thinking, brewing up trouble. He needed to nip that in the bud.

Darius whipped his cell phone out of the pocket of his jeans and called his brother, putting the phone on speaker. “Come to Aislinn’s room, ASAP.”

“What’s wrong?” Killion said.

“Are you on your way?” He’d damn well better be.

After a short pause, Killion said, “Yeah. Now, what’s going on?”

Should he tell Killion or wait? Aw, hell—what difference would it make? He’d know soon enough. “I’m sending her back. We need to figure out the best way to do it and end this conflict.”

The line almost sounded dead, except for the faint sound of Killion’s breath. “You’ll go mad.”

“I have a plan for that. Don’t worry.”

“A plan? I thought we’d exhausted all options. What the hell are you thinking?”

“Just get here–quick.” Darius hung up.

“So you won’t go mad?” Aislinn said. “But I thought—”

”Just wait until Killion gets here, and I’ll explain everything.” Darius pulled her close, kissing her. He hoped it wasn’t for the last time.

A couple of minutes later, Killion opened the door and walked in.

Darius snapped. “What the hell is it with you people, walking into Aislinn’s room without knocking? What if she’d been changing her clothes? What if we’d been making love?”

Killion took a step back. “She’s a prisoner…”

“She’s my mate! And you’ll damn well treat her with respect for the time she has left here.”

Taking a few tentative steps in their direction, Killion sucked air through his nose. He broke out in a grin. “You marked her. Congratulations.”

Darius snorted. “Right.”

Killion didn’t answer.

“Sit.” Darius waved Killion to one of the two chairs at the little table, taking the other for himself. Then he snagged Aislinn around the waist and pulled her onto his lap. “There’s no other way to stop the Humans Firsters. We have to send Aislinn back. But we have to do it in such a way that they don’t just turn around and attack us.”