Her Forbidden Alpha (15 page)

“What do you propose?” Killion leaned his forearm on the table.

“Jennalynn takes Aislinn to Wyoming. She broadcasts a feed showing where Aislinn is, and stating that she’ll be released as soon as one, the Humans Firsters peacefully leave the woods and go back where they came from and two, the General agrees publicly to not attack us once she’s released.”

“That all sounds fine, but what about you?” Killion said.

Aislinn tensed.

When he spoke, Darius’ voice sounded low. “You know what will happen to me.”

“You said you had a plan,” Aislinn said.

“I do. As soon as you leave the Holding, I’ll hand over control of the pack to Killion. He’ll be the new Alpha.”

“That won’t help you,” she said. “You’ll still go mad…won’t you?”

“Yes, but I won’t take the pack down with me.”

“Darius…” Her fingertips grazed his cheek. “You’ve thought of everyone but yourself.”

Chapter 14

“I don’t like this.” Killion’s fist tightened where it lay on the tabletop. “I don’t want to see my big brother go crazy from despair. And I’m not ready to be Alpha. There has to be another way.”

Darius couldn’t take his eyes off of Aislinn. “If there were another way, we would have thought of it by now. This is our only chance. And even this might not work. But we have to try.”

Killion jumped up from his seat with a growl. “You can’t sacrifice yourself. We need you!”

Darius brushed the hair from Aislinn’s cheek, talking to Killion but looking only at her. What he saw now would have to last him as long as his sanity could hold. “You need your lives more. You saw what happened last night. Eight dead. Many, many more will die unless we do this.”

“Darius…”

Darius finally looked away from Aislinn to spear his brother with his gaze. “You’ll do what I say. I’m still your Alpha.” When he looked back to his mate, he saw that furrowed brow again. “And you—you’ll stop trying to figure out another plan. There’s no other option. Accept it.”

“I could come back to you later, after this dies down,” she said.

“If you come back, your father will attack again. You can never come back.”

“Then maybe I don’t come here,” she said. “If you’re giving up being Alpha, you don’t have to stay here. I could go back for a little while and then we could meet somewhere and run away together.”

Darius growled. “It’s too risky.” He cupped her cheeks with her hands. “Don’t you understand? If they attack while you’re here, you’ll be in just as much danger as my wolves. And if you leave your father’s side again…if he ever found out you’d come to me…he’d hunt us down. This is our only chance.” He ducked his head and kissed her, hard.

By the time he pulled back, teardrops were rolling down her cheeks again. “I can’t leave you,” she said softly.

Killion stepped up behind Aislinn. “Listen to her. We’ll figure something else out. Don’t send her away. Don’t sacrifice yourself.”

“Enough.” Darius set Aislinn on her feet and stood. “I’m still your Alpha, at least for a little while. The decision’s been made. Go talk to Cael and get Evan to prepare the plane. I’ll get Aislinn some breakfast and we’ll meet you in the front hall in half an hour.”

“Half an hour!” Aislinn said.

“Fine, an hour. But after you’ve talked with Cael, get someone to set up a press conference in Wyoming. I want this done before the General decides to attack again.”

“Darius…” Killion said.

“Go.” Darius turned his back on his brother, surveying Aislinn’s room for anything she’d need to take with her. He felt like a robot, going through the steps he needed to, but dead inside.

Better dead inside than to let loose the howling grief that already threatened the edges of his consciousness. If he gave in to it for even a second, he’d never be able to do what he needed to.

Killion finally left the room, swearing under his breath so softly Darius felt sure Aislinn couldn’t hear it–but he could. His brother called him a fool in several unflattering ways. Nevertheless, he went to do what Darius had ordered, and that’s all Darius needed.

Darius rushed Aislinn through her morning ablutions and watched as she put on her dirty clothes. How had they never gotten her new clothes to wear? She made noises about him looking away, but he wouldn’t. He had only minutes left with her and he didn’t want to miss a thing.

After she’d dressed, he walked her to the dining hall. He’d lost all concept of time, but thought it should be around breakfast time. He wasn’t mistaken, and they were able to get eggs and sausage with toast to kick off their day. But no matter how good the food smelled, Darius couldn’t eat. He watched Aislinn instead, every bite, every touch of her napkin against her lips, every sip of orange juice.

“You’re staring,” she said.

“I’m storing up memories as fast as I can.” He’d had so little time with her, and he’d squandered so much of it. Why hadn’t he made more time to be with her?

He’d thought she’d be with him the rest of his life, that’s why. He hadn’t realized they’d have days and no more.

“Please don’t send me away.” She pressed her lips together, hard.

“Let’s not argue in these last minutes together. Tell me something good. Tell me your favorite memory from childhood.”

She shook her head jerkily, still pressing her lips together. “How can I do that when I’m trying so hard not to cry?”

“It’ll take your mind off it. Never mind.” He waved at her plate. “You finish eating, and I’ll tell you my favorite memory.”

As she took another bite, he searched for a good story, finally settling on one. “When I was ten, my father–who was Alpha at the time–had to go to Scotland to meet with the Scottish Alpha about something, and he took me along. The Scottish Alpha’s son, Lachlan, was my age and so we spent several days together, traipsing through the Scottish countryside in both human and wolf form. I loved the entire experience, although the best part was one day when we were running around as wolves and Lachlan got tangled in a bush. He didn’t realize how close he was to the top of the hill, and when he finally thrust himself out of the bush, he fell headlong down the hill and straight into a stream. I had to change back to human form because I was laughing so hard I thought my wolf would choke.”

He felt the smile that ghosted across his lips. It was at that moment that he remembered where he was and who was sitting across from him, and the despair welled up inside him again.

“That’s wonderful,” she said.

“I was supposed to go back there again next month for a conference. I guess Killion will go in my place.”

Aislinn put her hand over his, but before she could say anything, he headed her off. “Don’t say it. I’m not going to change my mind. This has to be done.”

As he watched her finish off the last couple of bites, he felt torn. Part of him wanted this moment to last forever, while another part of him wanted this done, wanted her gone. Anticipating her leaving felt harder than anything. Once she had left, he could hand over the reins to Killion and let down the walls he held precariously in place against his grief. And then he’d slowly fall into oblivion.

Darius walked with Aislinn as she bussed her tray, only then realizing this was her first time in the dining hall. After the long night, he’d forgotten she was sort of a prisoner. From the looks his people gave her as the two of them walked by, they hadn’t forgotten. They glared at her then whispered amongst themselves.

He’d had it. “Stop!”

The entire hall quieted.

Darius pulled Aislinn against his side. “This is my mate. That alone should gain her your respect. But if that’s not enough, then know this: she’s the one who saved you last night. If she hadn’t seen the Humans Firsters and told me about the charges, the entire castle would have come down. Many of you would be dead.”

He took a breath, the anger and grief warring inside him. “The next time I hear someone say something bad about Aislinn, I’ll rip their throats out.”

He stalked toward the door, sweeping Aislinn along with him with his hand on her back.

Everything moved quickly, then. He and Aislinn went to the front hall, where Killion and Jennalynn waited. Several of the other council members appeared as well. Jennalynn hugged Darius hard but didn’t try to dissuade him.

Darius pulled Aislinn away from the others. He cupped her cheeks and touched his forehead to hers, speaking softly. “I will always love you.”

Her eyes welled up.

“Just remember that. I will love you forever.”

A sob broke from her throat. “Darius—”

He kissed her, a soft, lingering kiss, a good bye. “Forever.”

He didn’t give her a chance to reply, to argue with him or tell him she loved him. He couldn’t hear any of it, or he might not be able to let go. Instead, his hand on her back, he led her to Jennalynn. “Take good care of her.”

Jennalynn nodded.

“Now go.” Darius stepped away from her, feeling his hand leaving her back, first his palm, his thumb, then his fingers all the way to the tips. When he felt only air, he steeled himself.

He’d never touch her again.

Jennalynn gripped her elbow and hurried her out of the front door. Darius watched her small form go, her dark hair flying out behind her. In the doorway, she turned for one last look and said, “I love you, too.”

When she disappeared from sight, Darius sank to his knees.

***

A week later, Aislinn sat in a guest room in her father’s home in the compound. Once the Humans Firsters had agreed to the terms and she’d been released, she had tried to go back to her own little house but her father’s soldiers wouldn’t let her. They’d brought some of her clothes to her, and some books, but otherwise she was as much a prisoner in her father’s house as she’d been at the Holding.

Except, at the Holding, she’d never felt so scared and alone. In the last week, she’d cried more than she ever had in her life, until she was all cried out and could only stare sightlessly out the windows at the brown wood buildings and brown dirt pathways of the compound.

A knock came at the door. She didn’t bother answering; just like in the Holding, the people would come in whether she wanted them to or not.

Sure enough, the door creaked open several seconds later. “Aislinn?”

Gideon again. Her father had sent him back to the compound to handle her release while the General gave the press conference Darius had asked for and oversaw the retreat. Her mother had arrived at almost the same time as he had. Gideon and her mother had tried to make her comfortable, but had continually denied her requests to go back to her own home. Gideon had comforted her when she cried, but when he assumed she was crying because of the horrible things the wolves had done to her, she’d yelled at him incoherently and kicked him out. She hadn’t seen him again until now.

And Mom had left. She’d made sure Aislinn was all right, asked at least a dozen times whether she’d been raped, then got a call that Tierney had gone into labor and things were bad. Mom had left on the next flight. That was five days ago.

“Your father will be home this afternoon,” Gideon said. “He’d like to meet with you.”

“Why bother telling me? I’m sure it was an order, not a request. As a prisoner, I certainly have no rights.”

Gideon stepped farther into the room and closed the door. “You know that’s not true. You’re not a prisoner.”

“Oh, really? I’m not allowed to go home, you have guards outside my door, and I don’t even have the right to refuse entrance to my own room. The only thing missing are shackles and bars.”

Gideon dragged a chair over to sit directly in front of her. “It’s for your protection. Your father is terrified he’ll lose you again.”

She snorted. “Whatever.”

“It’s true.”

She felt the muscles in her body tighten. “Do you think I don’t know what he did? He blew up the charges in the Holding, knowing full well I was inside. Does that sound like a loving father to you?”

Gideon’s jaw clenched and he blinked several times. “He’s been under a lot of pressure.”

She snorted again. “He’s been under a lot of pressure? You’ve got to be kidding me!” She got up from her chair and paced to the window, looking out at the monotonous brown but focusing on the hint of green in the distance. Outside the fence of the compound, a whole forest breathed and moved, alive with creatures of all sorts. How she wished she were there instead of here.

After a couple of minutes, she heard chair legs scrape across the floor. “I’ll come get you when your father’s ready.”

She didn’t reply. Whatever her father said, things could hardly get worse.

***

Darius floated on an alcohol-tinged cloud. He knew his soul had a gaping hole in it, but the liquor dulled the pain.

Only problem was, his fast wolfish metabolism processed the alcohol too quickly. Unless he could figure out how to set up an IV of the stuff, he’d have to drink non-stop.

Darius had barely lasted two hours after Aislinn had left–just long enough to sign papers and give oaths and do all the things necessary to pass his power to his brother. Even those two hours had taken a toll–he’d heard the howling of his wolf deep inside his psyche, and worse, he’d seen the despair etched on the faces of all of his wolves. Some even broke down and cried. Until Darius passed the control to Killion, the Holding had mourned. And once Killion took over, Darius gave in to it.

He hadn’t been sober since. If he had it to do, he’d stay this way the rest of his surely short life.

***

Her father looked haggard. Aislinn had doubted it when Gideon told her the General had been through a lot, but maybe it was the truth. Usually well-groomed, he now had almost a week’s growth of beard and his hair looked like it hadn’t seen a comb in days, much less a shower.

Still, that didn’t mean she wanted to hear what he had to say. He hadn’t even tried to hug her when Gideon had brought her into the room. Some father.

“I’m setting up a press conference,” the General said. He paced across the room and back again, his palms pressed together. “I want you to tell the world what those mangy dogs did to you. When public opinion turns against them, the public will
beg
me to attack.”