Her Guardian Angel (Fire and Snow) (2 page)

~ * ~

Sunshine, Victoria, Australia

Cancer. The Big C. It was so far advanced that there really wasn't much hope any treatments would help. Adele’s insides were torn up. She felt so guilty. Had she been so preoccupied with study she hadn't noticed how sick her mother had been? She noticed her mother had been looking tired lately, but when she asked if she was okay, her mother just told her that working two jobs was tiring and she just needed some more sleep; Adele didn't need to worry. According to her mother Adele had enough to worry about with her Uni exams. Had her mother known? Had she hidden it from her?

Now Adele was the one who was tired. She’d been sitting by her mother's hospital bed for four days waiting for her to wake up or give her some kind of sign she was still with her. She hated the way the nurses and doctors all looked at her with big sad eyes; she just wasn't ready to accept this reality. It was too much for her to bear on her own. She took some comfort when the doctor had told her that her mother wasn't in any pain. They were making sure she had enough morphine in her system so she was pain free. 'Palliative Care' had always seemed like such a nice and easy concept to Adele, but now those two words tore her heart and soul to shreds quicker than she’d ever thought possible.

With silent tears tracking down her face and falling on the crisp white hospital sheet, she whispered...

"S'il vous plaît se réveiller maman...ne me laisse pas sans dire au revoir."

Please wake up Mama...don't leave me without saying goodbye.

She laid her head down next to her mother's hand, which she held in hers, and cried until her exhaustion pulled her under into darkness and off to the land of dreams...

Adele found herself in a small clearing amongst some of the tallest, straightest gum trees she'd ever seen. She was lying on her back on soft native grass and looking up at the cloudless blue sky. It was beautiful and so peaceful. The sun felt so warm on her face and bare arms, she closed her eyes to enjoy the warmth as she took a deep breath of clean country air. She instantly started to relax and all the real world stresses began to fall away. She wasn’t sure how her mind came up with this place, one she had never seen before, but she was grateful for it.

She flicked her eyes wide open as the feeling of being watched ran through her. She held her breath and slowly sat up, turning her head to each side to look around the clearing and over the lake in front of her. She heard a noise that sounded like purring; very loud, very close purring. She swung her head toward the sound and came face to face with a cat. No, not a cat, or at least not a house cat. This was a wild animal and he was huge. His head was level with hers as he sat watching her. His fur looked so soft; his chest was pure white and the rest was tinged with brown and had black-grey spots. His gaze was intense, ice blue and glowing with intelligence, protection and compassion. She felt herself relax--which was just plain crazy. After all, she was sitting in front of a snow leopard, for crying out loud. Even for her imagination this was astounding. She had a passing thought that she should be scared, running as fast and as far as she could but this was just a dream, so it was safe--and to be honest, she quite simply didn't want to run away from this amazing animal. The leopard slowly stood and padded over to her side, purring the whole time. She stayed frozen to the spot in shock and awe as she was unsure what he was going to do to her. He rubbed his head up her leg as he lay down by her side. He pushed his back into her as he continued to nuzzle against her thigh.
Mon Dieu
, it felt so good. So soft. So calming. She reached out and rubbed his ear and stroked his cheek, pushing back his whiskers. The deep rumble coming from him got louder and he closed his eyes as he pressed against her hand.

For some strange reason she felt a connection between her and the animal; on a soul deep level it felt like she knew him somehow. How bizarre. She was sure he was her guardian angel, here just for her. Her kitten, her
chaton
. After stroking him for a minute she felt so calm her mind began to drift. Reality crept in on her and she couldn't help the sob that escaped her throat. Her
Maman
, her whole world, was dying. She let go of the leopard, brought her knees up, curling into herself as she cried. She felt him move away from her. She guessed he didn't appreciate her getting all teary. She didn't care. She needed to let out all the agony that was tearing her apart inside. While lost in her pain and tears she felt him return to her. With relief, she understood he hadn't left her at all, but had just gotten up so he could curl himself around her; she realized with a start, he was trying to cuddle her. She raised her head out of her hands wiping her eyes with her fingers when she felt him nudge her arm with his nose and whimper. She looked over at him through her watery eyes and the concern and kindness that shone from his ice blue gaze shocked her. Was he for real? Did he really understand or care?

"Are you really here? Just for me my
chaton
?" she whispered.

He responded by nuzzling her shoulder and giving her neck a little lick that tickled and brought a small laugh out of her. He started purring again as she chuckled.

"You like me giggling, do you?"

He nuzzled his head under her arm, forcing his way onto her lap.

"You're just a little pushy, my
chaton
" she said as she lowered her legs and stroked the fur between his ears.

She could really use a hug. She moved herself down so she could lie with her head on his shoulder. He moved with her so she lay on her side against his hind leg with her head resting just behind his shoulder. She stroked the thick fur down his front leg and paw, tracing his spots.

She watched as her tears landed on his soft fur. Words fell from her lips before she could stop them.

"She's dying. My precious mother is leaving me." she whispered.

"She's all I have. I'm going to be so alone once she's gone."

As she poured her heart out, her
chaton
gently nuzzled her cheek and shoulder. Eventually her tears ran out and with the sun warming her from above, and her
chaton
warming her from below her eyes slipped closed and she relaxed with just the tiniest hint of a smile on her face--with her
chaton
she felt safe and protected; maybe she wasn't so alone in the world as she thought she was.

~ * ~

Dominic watched Conner hoe into his breakfast of bacon and eggs as he came into the kitchen. Their mother put a plate identical to his brother's down on the table for him as she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"You're looking better this morning, my darling son; did your father's advice help?"

Dominic chuckled softly as he noticed Conner had stopped with his fork half way to his mouth. He was watching Dominic with keen eyes. Obviously he was desperate to know if the Dream Bonding their father had told them about had worked. No doubt he was trying to soak in all the information he could, hopeful he would soon dream of his mate. At nineteen, Conner still had at least a couple of years to go--male shifters were always older than their mates.

"Breakfast smells great, thanks Mum." He paused to give his mum a kiss and sit down. "Yeah, Dad's advice was real helpful. I managed to get the Dream Bonding to work last night. Took me a bit to get it started but, boy, was it well worth the effort." Dominic replied between mouthfuls, while flashing a big grin. He felt a lot better now he'd visited her and felt her hands in his fur. The knowledge she wasn't in any imminent danger also brought him some relief.

"I'm glad to hear it Dominic. Next time you won't wait so long before going to your father for help will you?" She didn't wait for him to answer before she continued "I've got to get moving so I'll leave you boys to it. Shopping doesn't do itself and with the way you boys and your father eat, you have no idea how much I wish it did. I'll catch you both later." She gave both her sons a kiss on the top of their heads while she spoke.

"Now don't you boys forget to put your dishes in the dishwasher before you leave."

Conner and Dominic ate in silence for a while. Dominic only just held back from laughing. He could see Conner wanted to ask him about what happened but was trying to act cool. Finally, Conner cracked and started the predicted questioning.

"So, what happened, Dom? Is she alright? Do you know where to find her now?"

Dominic was silent for a minute while he finished off his mouthful, enjoying the show of his brother squirming in anticipation. But he could only torture his little brother for so long, and anyway, he really wanted to share what he had learnt with his brother, who was also his best friend.

"I was right, Conner. My sweet mate is hurting something fierce. She told me her mother was dying and it had always been just the two of them. She's feeling like she's going to be alone when her mother has gone."

Conner frowned at him.

"She told you all that? In one dream--to a man she's never seen before? Dream Bonding's that strong huh?"

Dominic barked out a laugh. "Hell no, even in dreams women don’t tell strange men anything. I did try to join her dream as a man while she was envisioning a public place but she just moved past me--refusing to even look at me even when I called out. It was pretty obvious she has little interest in men in general. I'm thinking maybe she's been hurt by a man at some point--her Dad maybe? If it's just her and her Mum then her Dad's obviously not in the picture. So anyway, when that didn’t work I tried pulling her into mine. That worked perfectly. I took her to the little field up near the lake and met her in my leopard form."

"Oh man, you trying to make the woman run?" Conner said on a chuckle as he slapped his thighs.

"Not like I had much choice, Conner. It's either man or leopard. But she didn't run. After a little bit she cuddled up to me, spilled her story, had a good cry, then closed her eyes and relaxed with her head over my heart and her hand buried in my fur. Man, was I one happy cat! I got to see all of her, from head to toe and, Conner, she looks just like an goddess. She had her dark wavy hair spread across my fur, her ivory skin looked so soft. Even with her warm chocolate colored eyes closed, I could still feel the warmth of them." Dominic felt his eyes glaze over as he sighed.

"Don't know that I ever want to be mated if I have to look like you do right now bro--you look like a damn love sick kitten." Conner told him in an amused tone.

Dominic's lips quirked into a lopsided grin as he remembered his mate’s nickname for him.

"That's what she called me, you know? '
chaton'
... Looked it up this morning. It's French for kitten."

That had Conner instantly roaring with laughter, Dominic couldn't help but join his brother, as he hoped like hell that he didn’t have to wait too long before he would meet his mate in person.

Chapter One

Four years later...

The gravel crunched under the soles of Adele's shoes as she walked through the cemetery. Some days she still couldn't quite believe she was gone. Her tears started before she left the path to walk down the row toward her mother's grave. She swiped at her eyes with her free hand, frustrated at herself that she still fell apart whenever she thought about her
Maman
. Adele wasn't really looking where she was going, not that it mattered. She was quite sure she could find her way blindfolded at this point in time. When she reached her destination, she set about cleaning the tombstone off and neatening it up. Then she carefully placed her six deep purple roses, her mother's favourite, in the special vase built into the top. As she sat down in front of the tombstone, she buried her face in her hands and cried. Four years later the wound to her heart and soul still felt so fresh, like it had remained open and continued to bleed.

"Ma mère précieux, tu me manques tellement."

My precious mother, I miss you so much.

After several minutes she managed to rein in her emotions. She pulled out a tissue, dried her face, blew her nose and took a few deep breaths. She had things to tell her mother but she couldn't afford to sit here all day in the sun, she had studying to do. Opening her eyes, she looked up at the tombstone, reading the words she had so carefully chosen four years ago:

'In Ever Loving Memory Of

Fleur Petit

26-5-1972--20-11-2007

Loving Mother of Adele

As a mother you cared for me,

the Lord will now care for you'

In a quiet whisper, Adele began to tell her mother about everything that was happening in her life.

"I'm nearly finished
Maman
. My last exam is on Thursday, then I'm all done with Uni. You'd be so proud. I got my honors completed too. Your
petit fille
will soon be a qualified nurse and paramedic. If only I could find a job. I really don't want to be stuck working inside a hospital all the time. I think I'm going to have to leave here,
Maman
."

Adele let out a sigh. Leaving was going to be hard but staying here surrounded by memories and reminders of her mother wouldn’t be any easier. It had been unbearable at times over the last four years. She’d been feeling the beginnings of depression claw at her. She needed to get away, get a fresh start or she would remain stuck in her mother’s shadow, forever grieving.