Her Last Love (Small Town Hearts Trilogy #1) (2 page)

All thoughts of chores and kids went up in a puff of smoke as he jerked the cart to a stop in the middle of the aisle, much to the annoyance of the young woman behind him. He paid her no mind as she went around him, nor to the cute blue-eyed toddler who waved as they passed. His focus was on the redhead who was examining the display of shiny apples. The woman who had haunted his dreams for years. 

She had come home. 

When had she gotten back? How long was she back for this time? Questions swirled in his brain, while he couldn’t help but watch as she picked her way through the hot house tomatoes, then the leafy green heads of lettuce. With his eyes glued to her, he didn't notice that his heartbeat had kicked up its pace right around the same time it had hit his stomach. His dry tongue was like sandpaper on the roof of his mouth while the back of his throat tightened as his stomach tied itself in knots. He felt as if he were an awkward teenager again, trying to work up the courage to ask out the popular girl in school. 

She didn’t notice him noticing her as she went about the business of shopping. She had always been tall for a woman, and was as slim as ever, her long red hair in a single thick braid that hung over her left shoulder. She moved efficiently and, too quickly, turned to walk towards the checkout counters. He nearly called out to her. But the words stuck in his throat. Carter didn’t know what kept his mouth from speaking and his feet felt glued to the floor. All he could do was watch her leave. Again. 

The rest of his shopping trip was a blank. Somehow, he made it through the checkout line. Heaven only knew what else had ended up his cart before he'd paid and made his way to the parking lot. He was thankful he wasn’t far from home because he seemed to get there on auto-pilot. He didn’t even remember turning the key in the ignition, much less pointing the vehicle towards his house. And he completely forgot about stopping at the drive-through and only remembered when his stomach growled in protest as he pulled into his driveway. 

“Damn. Guess it’s gonna be a sandwich tonight,” he muttered to himself as he climbed from the truck and began to haul bags.

He focused his thoughts long enough to dig his keys out of his pocket, climb the short set of porch steps, and unlock his front door. His mind wandered, remembering times with Lynn and battling the conflicted emotions those memories brought back. Carter moved through the kitchen as he put away the groceries. He could only hope that things were being put where they belonged, or he at least remembered where things were when he needed them. 

As he went blindly through the chores he had on his list, he thought about how she’d looked different. While he did laundry, contemplated how her hair had changed. It was still the red he’d always loved, yes. Only now it was a deeper auburn, longer than in the days when they’d been together, but the longer style and neat braid had suited her. 

He pondered her build as he ran the dishwasher. She was still slim; then again, she always had been. Slim now met the disciplined tone that the military demanded. Her long legs lean, biceps built. He decided not to concentrate too long on her abs…much too dangerous territory. But though she was toned, even in her civilian wear he could tell that she’d lost weight.

Carter’s thoughts continued to gravitate towards Lynn as the night wore on endlessly. Memories of her, and them together, had continued to flood him, and he knew that his chances of getting a decent night’s sleep were dwindling. He hadn’t thought of her this much during his waking hours in a long time. He’d fought hard after their breakup to keep thoughts of her at bay, to train his mind and harden his heart where Lynn had been concerned. His dreams, however, were another matter. Against his will, his memories of her came to life during his sleeping hours, unbidden but not unwelcome. And he had a feeling he’d be dreaming about her even more than usual tonight. 

* * *
 

After a restless night of tossing and turning, a night full of interrupted sleep and vivid dreams, Carter woke praying for coffee. It was a prayer he recited over and over as the coffee dripped, in slow motion, into the pot. Once the first sip hit his lips, hot and bitter, he closed his eyes, inhaled the steam coming from the cup, and sent up his heartfelt thanks for this lifesaving nectar. 

It had been a long night. 

He was grateful he didn’t have to go into work today. Saturdays off were few, and Saturdays without his sons were even rarer. And due to his brain running non-stop the night before, he had worked through his stroll down memory lane. His house was now cleaner than it had been in months, his kitchen was stocked, and he’d even given the dog a bath. As the caffeine worked its magic, his brain cleared of the leftover fog of sleep, and he considered his plans for the day. He could wash his car, which would take all of an hour. He could call up some of his buddies to see if they were up for a game or two of basketball, but most were married and spending time today with their families or working. It struck Carter that he was lost without his kids around. His boys with their boundless energy and endless ideas of things to do and places to go. 

He continued to brainstorm ideas, and with his coffee cup still in hand, Carter went to let the dog out the back door. He had gotten Trooper as a puppy, while he was still in high school. The German shepherd had helped him through many tough times, including the end of his relationship with Lynn. Trooper had stayed with Carter’s mom while he’d been enlisted in the Navy, since Carter had been assigned to an aircraft carrier and couldn’t take him along. But his canine friend had welcomed him back as if he’d left just days before and didn’t seem to hold their time apart against him.

As he watched his dog romp in the spacious fenced in backyard, Carter knew how he’d spend part of his day. He’d have to see Lynn. He wouldn’t be able to help himself, knowing she was back and within reach. His heart sped up at the thought of seeing her again, hearing her voice, seeing her face. Not to mention he knew that he couldn’t handle – physically, emotionally, or mentally – another night like the last.

He may technically be married, but he’d been half in love with her ever since they parted ways. Even though he'd tried his best not to be. God, he didn’t realize how much he’d missed her until he had seen her again.

The decision made, he left Trooper to run and play in the backyard and got himself ready to leave. He tried to keep it casual, wearing a tee shirt and a well-worn pair of jeans. He stopped to wash his truck, but went through the automatic car wash rather than hand-wash it as he would any other time. Truck gleaming, he drove the twenty minutes it took to get to her parents' house from his. The whole time, he contemplated what he’d say to her. Struggled to find the words to express himself when they were face-to-face again. Each thought that came along struck him as worse than the last. He caught himself gripping the steering wheel, flexing and relaxing his long slender fingers. He took a deep breath, let it rush from his cheeks as he attempted to pull himself together. Thought and doubts continued to rush at him.

How would she react to seeing him again? Would she react with genuine pleasure or with cool politeness? Would she hug him or slam the door in his face? His stomach churned, making him wish he’d been less liberal with the morning coffee. 

Unlike the night before, time passed swiftly on the drive. Before he knew it, he was pulling into driveway behind a smart little compact car. Lynn’s rental, if he read the tags right. For a quick moment, he wondered if he’d lost his mind, just showing up this way. Wondered if it was too late to just put the truck in reverse and go back down the road the way he’d come.

He gave himself a mental shake, took another deep breath and told himself that this needed to be done. Perhaps they’d find the closure they’d never had the chance to get after they had broken their engagement, with each of them thousands of miles away from the other. He hoped he’d be able to put her out of his mind, once and for all. He doubted it, but it was worth a shot.

Maybe he should get out of the truck before the people inside became curious as to who the weirdo was lurking in their driveway. 

Breathing deep, Carter stepped from the vehicle, gravel crunching under his feet. He heard the dog barking inside as he made his way up the wooden steps. There was no doorbell – there never had been, not for as long as he could remember – so, hands shaking, he knocked. And waited there on the doorstep, counting the beats of the heart now in his throat, and taking shallow breaths. The sounds of footsteps grew louder as they approached the door, which soon swung open to reveal the woman who plagued last night’s dreams.

She was barefoot, dressed in jeans and an old, faded blue long sleeved tee shirt, her long wavy hair pulled back away from her face. Lynn looked just as shocked to see Carter at her front door as he had been at seeing her the previous night. This more than anything helped Carter relax, and he even worked up a smile. 

“Hello, Lynn. Welcome home.” 

2

Lynn didn’t hug him, or slam the door in his face. Nor did she respond with genuine pleasure or cool politeness. In fact, all she could do was stand there, hold the door open, and stare, as her heart pounded and her palms sweat.

It was déjà vu, the way he was standing on her doorstep. Lynn couldn’t help but to remember other times when he’d dropped in out of nowhere and surprised her. She also remembered the times he'd shown up to take her out, how happy she'd be to see him. 

She wasn’t sure what emotions moved through her, looking at him now. Pleasure, yes. With trepidation thrown in for good measure. Maybe a dash of leftover lust. He was still very attractive. More so than when they were together. He’d clearly been working out; she’d never seen him quite this ripped. His thin navy tee shirt was snug across his shoulders and biceps, and his faded jeans hugged his muscular thighs. His dark brown hair was still short, still trying to form into the curls she used to run her fingers through for hours at a time. There were new lines around bright blue eyes she remembered so well, but given the time passed, that was to be expected.

Damn it, he was still as handsome as ever. Life just wasn't fair. 

“Carter.” Lynn cleared her throat, and tried to find her voice. “What are you doing here?” 

“Well,” he said, shuffling his feet. “I came to see you.” 

“Yes, but…how did you know I was home? I just got in yesterday.” This was too surreal. 

“I saw you at Dixie's last night. I was doing my grocery shopping, looked up and there you were. Thought for a minute I was seeing things.”

Lynn studied him a moment before crossing her arms and leaning against the doorframe. She didn’t particularly care if the gesture came across as rude. She struggled with emotions – pleasure, anger, confusion – as she tried to figure out why he was there.

“So you decided to show up on my doorstep like old times? A welcome home, a charming smile, and all is forgotten?” 

“No, I – “ 

“Because it doesn’t work that way. If you ever knew me, you should understand that. And what does your wife think of you being here? Should I expect some nasty phone calls next?” 

“Estranged wife. We’re separated, have been for about six months. And no, there’s isn’t any need for her to call you.” 

“Well, there was no need before, but that didn’t stop her now, did it?” Lynn hugged herself a little tighter as if trying to defend herself from the upset and anger of past unpleasant encounters with the woman that was Carter’s wife. 

Carter shoved his hands in his pockets as he looked down between his feet and rocked back on his heels. He’d known, hadn’t he, that this wouldn’t go well? Looks like he got what he expected. He studied Lynn, a face that somehow was both familiar and foreign to him. He took a deep breath before he spoke again. 

“Lynn…I’m not here to cause trouble or upset you. I saw you last night, and I had time on my hands today so I thought I’d come by to say welcome home. See if you might be up for grabbing a cup of coffee so we can talk and clear the air before your leave is up and you have to head back to your duty station. That’s all.” 

Lynn still leaned on the doorframe, rubbing her upper arms as she continued to study him. Once upon a time, she’d been very good at reading him, his moods, sometimes even his thoughts. She may have been out of practice in that area, but he seemed sincere enough. Heaven knew he was as uncomfortable in this situation as she was, if not more. Still, she hesitated. 

"I’m not sure, Carter. You were the last person I expected to see today, and I'm woman enough to admit I'm thrown off balance by seeing you again." 

"I know, and I'm sorry if it seems like an ambush." Carter shoved his hands deep into his pockets and rocked back on his heels. "That was not my intention. At all. But now that I'm here, I'm thinking that if the two of us could get everything out in the open, once and for all, and we can put the past behind us. I don't want to mess up your plans during your leave.... I'm only asking for an hour. Please." 

Lynn closed her eyes while her head and heart argued it out. Her heart asked her what on earth she was waiting for, her brain told her heart to shut up and said she shouldn't go down this road again, that she didn't need the heartache. In the end, she listened to her gut, which told her they both needed the closure he mentioned.

"Okay. One hour. I've got to take care of a couple things first, so I'll just meet you at Kari's Café in about thirty minutes, if that works for you?" 

"Yes," he replied on a small sigh of relief. "Thirty minutes is good." 

"Fine, I'll see you then." With that, Lynn stepped back and quietly shut the door in his face. 

Lynn closed the heavy inside door with a soft click and, with her hand still grasping the handle, leaned against the cool surface as her heart tried beating its way out of her chest. A moment later, as she heard the roar of Carter's truck starting and then fading as he drove away, she shut her eyes and knocked the back of her head on the door several times.

One day
, she thought to herself.
One day back in town and she had already made plans to see Carter. That had to be a record.
 

On a deep sigh, she pushed herself away from the door. Contrary to what she'd told Carter, she had nothing to see to. She'd unpacked her suitcases last night, and since her household goods wouldn't even be in the country for several weeks, there was little else to do in that department. This morning she’d emailed her friends that were still overseas, touching base and telling them she’d arrived safely. She'd done the few chores that had needed doing to help take the burden of an extra person in the house off of her mother. But she’d needed time to prepare herself for a lengthy and in-depth conversation with Carter Mathis, so she'd fibbed about having things to do.

 She checked her watch, gauged her time. The café that her friend Kari owned was less than ten minutes away. She'd been driving for days, so even a quick tour of the back roads was out of the question for a while. Her sister was in class, so she couldn't call her And as there was no such thing as a short visit in a small town, dropping in on any old friends was ruled out as well. Her mind was so frazzled at the moment, anything involving the slightest amount of concentration wasn't an option. Throwing her head back, she closed her eyes and groaned in an adult version of what southerners liked to call a hissy fit.

Fine, she thought to herself as she took a deep breath and picked up her head. She would just take a minute, put herself together. Nothing too obvious, since she didn't want to make it seem she'd gone to any trouble to look nice. She wouldn't change clothes, she decided, looking down at the jeans and shirt she wore. It's just coffee, so casual's good.

Sighing once more, Lynn headed to her room to freshen up and get her things, then trudged out to her car like a prisoner on her way to execution.

* * *
 

Twenty minutes later, Lynn found herself back in her car and on the road. She was tired of driving, having driven down the majority of the east coast in recent days, but she was thankful this drive would be fairly short.

Once she made her way down the winding one lane that led back to the main road, the pavement that opened back up to two lanes was lined with thick stands of trees. Houses were scarce, dotting the landscape here and there. The drive to town was short, no more than ten minutes, but to an outsider it would have seemed like forever and felt like driving through the middle of nowhere. The closer you got to town, the more the houses began to crop up along the side of the road, sitting more and more near each other as the miles went by. Lynn came around a bend in the road, hit a straightaway where the road widened, temporarily, from two lanes to three marking the unofficial edge of town. 

There sat the county high school, her alma mater, on the left. It sat up on a hill, so it all but towered over those passing by on the road. The parking lot was full of cars belonging to students and teachers alike, all trapped in classrooms until the bell rang at two forty-five. The beige building, accented with maroon - one of the school colors - had undergone numerous changes over the years, but still managed to look much like it did when she was a student there. Columns stood at the corners of the roof shading the walkway to the entrance, giving it a grand appearance. The football field to the right of the building, up on another, higher hill, currently sat empty except for the lone maintenance man who striped the field for the upcoming game. The stadium had to be prepped and readied, as sports were a big pastime here. Football games were the place to be, watching the boys battle it out on the gridiron under the Friday night lights. 

Driving on, Lynn accelerated up a small hill, rounded a curve, and passed a small feed store. One of the few changes she’d seen so far, the squat little building and its attached mini warehouse gleamed white off of the right side of the road.. Next came the car wash, more houses, the insurance company with its barn red siding. Then she came up on the store where her mother worked, and had for more than twenty years. 

Boyd’s had been a staple in the community for as long as she could remember. The grandfather of her mother’s bosses, Mike and Sam, had started the grocery in a tiny building more than sixty years ago, before moving it to its current location four decades ago. The store was covered in brown siding, with bright yellow letters spelling out the name over the tall front walkway. She could remember going into the store as a child, and how she never left without being offered the chance to choose a sucker from the blue and white UK bucket Mike kept back on the display counter in the meat and deli area. It was also a meeting place, as was evidenced by the group of middle aged men standing outside chatting. They were likely farmers from the looks of the bib overall and ball caps, talking about how their crops had done for the year and the boys’ prospects at the upcoming game. 

Lynn liked that things rarely changed around here, the continuity of it all. Because people could know what to expect. Though the lack of entertainment - and gossip didn’t count - made life a bit mundane at times. Some folks called it Mayberry, and at times they half expected to see Barney Fife strolling down the sidewalk in front of the courthouse. She knew that if she drove past the judicial building right now, there would be no less than two old men, sitting on the benches out front, swapping stories and watching cars go by. The rest of the men will have moved on to the Dairy Barn restaurant, where they would sit, drink coffee, and tell more stories before moving on to another location in town to repeat the process. 

With the store now in her rear view mirror, Lynn rounded the curve and came down a small hill, slowed down as she prepared to turn into the entrance for the cafe. The café hadn't changed at all, Lynn thought as she pulled in the parking lot. White siding still gleamed in the sunlight, the teal front door and black shutters gave it personality, and the hanging baskets that held colorful flowers throughout the spring and summer were now hanging empty. The black asphalt parking area held the vehicles of the few late risers looking for breakfast or those, like her, were just stopping in for a cup of coffee. Since it was now between the breakfast and lunch rushes, finding a table was easy enough. Especially since Carter had arrived before her and now sat at a small booth by a window that overlooked the garden area outside, cup of coffee already in hand. She stood watching him for a moment since he had yet to notice her arrival. Why did he have to be so damn good looking? That would make this conversation so much more difficult than it needed to be.

Lynn took a fortifying breath and walked over to the booth, took the seat opposite of Carter as he looked up at her.

"You made it. I wasn't sure you would." He gave her a small smile, one that spoke of his relief at not being stood up at the last minute.

"I'll be honest." She tugged off her jacket, dropped it on the seat beside her. "I had a moment or two of hesitation that had me reconsidering whether I should meet you. But, you were right. We need to clear the air between us. I'm not convinced that one meeting over coffee can accomplish that, but it's a start." She looked up at the waitress who had approached their table, gave her order for a cappuccino, and folded her hands on the wooden table. Unsure of where to start, she cleared her throat.

"So, um.... how've you been?" She wondered if this could feel anymore awkward.

"Been doing okay. I work a lot, take care of the boys. I stay busy, but it's good."

"Good. That's good you're staying busy. Where are you working?" 

"Three Rivers," he replied, referring to one of several coal mines in the area.

"Three Rivers?" Surprised, she tilted her head to study him. "I'd have never pictured you as a coal miner."

"Technically, I'm not." He picked up his cup by the base instead of the handle, sipped at his coffee. "I drive the transport trucks from the mines to the prep plants. I didn't want to go underground, what with the boys and all."

"Makes sense."

"So I haul it instead of dig it." He looked at her, considering. "What about you? I figured you'd be a military lifer. What made you change your mind?"