Her Last Wish (14 page)

Read Her Last Wish Online

Authors: Ema Volf

BOOK: Her Last Wish
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“Who said such a thing?
You’re doing me a huge favor by carrying him. I certainly wouldn’t expect you
to fall off the face of the planet just because his genes don’t match yours.
Besides, I thought we were friends. I don’t want that to change just because a
contract ends.”

I breathed in his
calming scent again. I was so glad he said that. I had a hard time figuring out
how I would leave both him and the baby behind. No matter how I tried, I just
couldn’t see it happening. I wanted to watch the baby grow and mature. I wanted
to watch him become his own person. And for whatever reason, I could no longer
imagine my life without Connor in it. How did a person go from a professor to a
best friend? Heck if I knew. But I didn’t want it to change.

“What do you think?” he
asked. “Do you want to help?”

“Yeah. I think I do.”

“Great. We’ll leave
whenever you’re ready. And don’t feel like you have to rush today. I think
today we will take a nice, slow pace.”

“Slow?”

“I want you to take
whatever time you need to heal. If you start to feel like you’re no longer up
for being out in public, we’ll come straight home, regardless of what we have
left to find. You are my top priority today.”

I couldn’t help but
smile. I wondered what that would feel like. Usually I had to guess where I
stood on any given outing with Jackson. I supposed it wouldn’t be terrible to
find out.

 

***

Connor

 

As I figured she would,
Charlie eventually burnt out on our shopping trip. I could tell it was both
physically and emotionally. I was glad I got to see her smile a bit, though.

She seemed to really
get into the nursery decorating. She decided on a pale gray for the walls,
first. After she figured that out, she decided on white furniture: a white,
overstuffed rocking recliner, a white painted crib, a white dresser. Then, she
decided on simple, light greyish blue bedding. It was cute and babyish, but it
wasn’t too cute for me to be comfortable sitting in. It was a diplomatic choice
that I could have easily pictured Elizabeth making. Elizabeth had always been
so good at compromises. She could have done the nursery with her eyes closed,
and it would have been perfect for both of us, even if the compromise in this
case was between me and a fetus. I wondered if that was my attraction to
Charlie. I always saw a lot of Elizabeth in her.

Once Charlie decided
she’d had enough, I immediately shifted gears and got her back home. I just
couldn’t stand to watch her suffer in any way, even in a minor one such as
social claustrophobia brought on by idiot exes and the disappointments they
caused and then enhanced with physical discomfort. I could tell that the whole
breakup bit weighed heavily on her, making everything else that much worse. I
just wished I knew how to fix it. I knew how I
wanted
to fix it, but I
knew Charlie wouldn’t be open to a new relationship after only a day. I didn’t
feel that deserving of her, either. But at least I was a better choice than the
asshole she left behind.

Shortly after we got
home, she decided to take a nap. While she rested comfortably on the couch, I started
painting the nursery. I couldn’t wait to get it done so she could see it. As I
watched the paint begin to cover the walls, I couldn’t help but notice how much
more real it made everything feel. I finally allowed it to sink in. Elizabeth
and I had a miracle baby coming.

 

 

Chapter Twenty

 

Charlie

 

Thanksgiving Day
finally arrived. I had worked for hours on a dinner worthy of Connor’s family,
starting the minute after I finished getting ready for the day, and I was
convinced that I’d accomplished it. The house smelled amazing and the food
looked great. Connor had even walked into the living room right after he woke
up, took a deep breath, and smiled at the aroma. He didn’t say anything, but I
could tell he was grateful that he didn’t have to order yet another pizza for
Thanksgiving. He looked more at peace than I’d ever seen him.

I’d put on that little
black dress that Connor had bought me as well as the necklace. A simple up-do
and I was ready for anything. I decided that I had to dress to impress. I had never
met these people, after all. Other than Savannah, of course. And I was supposed
to be convincingly playing the part of the girlfriend. Most girlfriends overdid
it a bit when they met parents for the first time. I figured that if I went
with jeans and a sweater, I’d have totally blown our little white lie about who
I really was.

I even got up extra
early to make sure I had time to clean up my makeshift bed on the couch before
Connor’s family and friends could even get there. After all, I was supposed to
look like a girlfriend, not a couch surfer.

Yeah, that also meant I
had stayed with him for almost a week. I tried to go back to my apartment, but
when I called my neighbor, she always said that Jackson kept showing up and
nearly beating down my door for hours on end. Apparently it was a daily thing,
still. I definitely didn’t want to get trapped there with him. I didn’t want to
have whatever conversation he thought would make everything better again. The
more distance I kept, the more okay with the situation I felt. I even suggested
my neighbor call the police to haul him off, though I doubted she’d actually do
so. But I almost hoped she would. It had to stop somehow.

Throughout the week,
I’d thought back on days with Jackson when, as far as I had known, everything
was okay. But truth be told, I had seen warning signs, even back then. I had
simply chosen to ignore them at the time. It was glaringly obvious in the way
he always tried to guilt me into having sex with him, even after I said no. I
had a feeling that even if I did let him try to explain, it would turn into a
This
is your fault, because you didn’t do this for me
type situation. And
perhaps, in a way, it
was
my fault. But I would never regret my
decision. In fact, he proved exactly why my actions (or lack thereof, as the
case may be) had been totally necessary. I couldn’t trust him with something so
important to me.

Though I had to admit
that his behavior as of late seemed a bit crazed, even for him. I couldn’t
imagine him ever camping outside my apartment. But yet, there he was. I wasn’t
sure what had gotten into him, but it was almost frightening. I just hoped he’d
snap out of it soon. I didn’t dislike staying at Connor’s house. Quite the
opposite, actually. But it wasn’t mine. I wanted to go home. I had finally been
able to stay independent … and then I couldn’t even go home to enjoy it. But I
assured my building manager that I’d keep up on my rent, all the same. I still
had hope that I’d be able to go home soon. Then I could stop being such an
intrusion on Connor’s life.

When the doorbell rang,
Connor grabbed my hand and led me to the front door. I think he was more
nervous than I was, because he gripped me so tightly that my fingers started to
lose feeling.

“You ready for this?”
he asked.

“Of course.”

He opened the door to greet
a short woman with dark hair streaked with white. Although she smiled, I could
tell that she was less than thrilled to see me there just by the way her gray
eyes scrutinized me from head to toe as if I were some sort of parasite to be
exterminated. Next to her was a much friendlier appearing man with dark brown
hair and striking blue eyes that resembled Connor’s.

“Mom,” Connor greeted.
“Dad. I’d like you both to meet Charlie, my girlfriend.”

His mom’s eyes
immediately settled on my stomach. “Oh? How long have you been dating?”

“A while.” I was a bit
shocked by the hint of a challenge that his voice had taken on. His gaze
settled on me, and his eyes glittered with some emotion I couldn’t place. He
brought our entwined hands to his mouth and gently kissed the sensitive spot
near my knuckles. The soft brush of his lips against my skin sent shivers down
my spine. I hadn’t expected that sort of reaction from myself, though I hadn’t
expected that sort of affectionate display from him, either. I knew we were
supposed to be pretending. I suppose I hadn’t considered the fact that we’d
have to actually
physically
show it as well. I had to admit, it
felt
pretty convincing.

“Long enough that
you’re absolutely sure that that stomach of hers is your doing?” she challenged
right back.

“Mary,” Connor’s dad
scolded.

“I’m positive,” Connor
shot back. He pulled me protectively under his arm.

“How long were you
together before you decided to bring this little … miracle … into the world? In
my day, respectable girls waited until marriage to do that sort of thing.”

“Charlie is perfectly
respectable. We waited long enough, though it’s not
your
business. I am
an adult, as is she. I’m excited to be a dad, and I can’t wait for us to raise
our children together.”

His mother appeared
unfazed. “If your relationship is so serious, why didn’t you tell us about her?
As your parents, don’t you think we should know what’s going on in your life?”

“Because I don’t have
to tell you anything about my life until I want to. Charlie and I are happy,
and that’s all that matters for our little family.”

“Family? I hardly
consider a passing relationship family.”

“Yes. Family. We will
be married after the baby is born.”

My eyes widened as I
looked up in Connor’s direction. Married? I thought we’d agreed that I would
just pretend to be the girlfriend? Wouldn’t his mom torment a surprise fiancée
more? What kind of trouble was he trying to get me into?

Oddly enough, some of
my fear vanished as he looked down at me and smiled reassuringly. He wrapped
his arm tightly around me, giving me more of that feeling of safety that I
strangely enjoyed. I suddenly felt as if everything would be okay. Like he
would take care of me and walk me through this potential train wreck that I had
suggested in order to keep his parents from asking him too many questions later.
That was what I had to remind myself: It was all for him.

“Can we please come
in?” Connor’s dad asked, casting his wife a sideways glare. “It’s a bit cold
out here. We can just as easily have this discussion in the warmth. Or we could
just
not
have this discussion and go into the warmth, anyways.”

When Connor pulled me
away from the door to let them past, the tension seemed to slowly diffuse. He
made sure to keep a protective arm around me while his mother glanced back at
us. He really seemed to know what he was doing. However, I questioned whether
the same could be said for me once he leaned down and kissed me behind the ear.
All the nerve endings in my body sprung to life. I knew he was just trying to
make our act believable, but my body still reacted to him as if it were all
real.

I felt the heat rise to
my face at the feeling of his body so close to mine. I couldn’t decide if it
was because I was simply lonely or if my pregnancy hormones were playing a part
in it. I tried to tell myself that it was the latter, despite a nagging voice
in the back of my head telling me that it was neither. I didn’t want to think
about that at the moment. It was just too complicated, and I had a fake future
mother-in-law to convince that I was absolutely serious about marrying her son
so it wouldn’t seem strange that he’d be handed a baby in the near future. I
had to be on my game.

“She can be a bit
abrasive,” he whispered to me once they had left earshot. “Don’t worry. She
should calm down some now. Besides, my dad won’t let her get too carried away.
He likes things to stay peaceful.”

I raised an eyebrow at
him. “So we’re getting married now?”

He grinned
mischievously, and I nearly melted. Ugh. What was wrong with me? “It’s harder
for her to try to talk me out of a fiancée than a girlfriend, and she knows it.
I’m sure you noticed that the status upgrade shut her up pretty quickly.”

“I also noticed she
wasn’t very happy about it.”

“She knows that I don’t
care how she feels about my relationships. I hadn’t even told her about Elizabeth
until she got her wedding invitation in the mail. It will be okay, I promise.
She won’t give you as much crap this way. My dad won’t allow it. As I said, he
likes to keep the peace.”

“And if he can’t?”

“Then I’ll make absolutely
sure that she’s aware that her opinion of you won’t sway my decision to marry
you. And if she has that much of a problem with it, she knows where the door
is.”

I stared at him for a
moment. “You’re aware that we’re only
pretending
to be engaged, right?”

He chuckled in
response.

 

Once everyone arrived,
I kept to the kitchen for the most part. I knew it was silly, but I felt a
little out of place anywhere else. And the less time I spent with everyone else
the less time his mother had to ask me more awkward questions that I had to lie
about. It seemed kind of terrible of me to do, but it was way easier to just
avoid her and pretend to be too busy. And maybe it would make it easier for her
to believe that I just picked up and left my baby behind later on down the
road.

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