Her Lover (66 page)

high society, it grieves me, they've choked the life out of my little girl, the wasters, there's no side with her, sometimes she kisses my hand and her being who she is and copping all that money from her auntie being her only niece, and clean! you'd never believe how many times she has a bath, sometimes two or three a day without a word of a He, so she's not likely to be the sort to go darting up her mouth with lipstick, never even uses powder, once I told her to put a bit on and she smiled but didn't answer, she's got a lovely figure front and back, no problems in that department, you should see for yourself, she's got a behind like a statue, Cupid's cushion I call it, I bet that husband of hers don't get scratched in bed, full is what her figure is but not too full, just full in all the right places like a beautiful woman ought to be, and it makes me ill to think it should be that wet fish with his straggly beard that has it all to hisself, I'm sorry if I'm speaking out of turn but I'm French and the sort who always speaks her mind, I don't think it's fair she should waste her youth on Didi, he don't deserve it, and to be perfectly frank I'd much sooner she took up with some man or other, and I'm not afraid to say it though the Good Lord might hear, she deserves some good-looking chap, the sort of chap who'd be worthy of her, such as one of them toffs with a title that used to come when Mademoiselle Valérie was alive, but young of course, with plenty of go in him, but she's not the carrying-on type I'm sorry to say, she'd never do anything to catch the eye of anybody like that, they like painted faces giggly girls and wiggling behinds, but it's not her style, or p'raps it just don't appeal to her, p'raps she's not interested in men, clever people get funny ideas you know, and then again she's always got her head in a book, reads in the bath, reading in the bath's ever so bad for you, reads when she's washing, I seen her once with a book propped up against the taps leaning over to read it standing up in the bath while she soaped her pretty parts all over, you can take it from me or not as you like, she even reads when she's cleaning her teeth, she turns the pages of her book toothbrush going like billy-oh making pink splashes all over the shop, and it's poor old Mariette what's got to clean it all up, everybody's skivvy is what I am, sometimes when I'm making her bed I come across books in it, p'raps she reads when that Didi's doing his stuff in bed, now that's enough of that, don't make me larf, to my way of thinking she don't fancy her husband doing his stuff all that much, so as to this business of having some chap instead of Didi it's no go, books books books, never lets up, it's just the same with her piano, she don't go in for anything catchy, it's always the sort of thing organs play at funerals, nothing with a nice tune, so it's Didi piano and books, it's no life for a healthy woman, not that I got anything against reading of course, it passes the time, I read a book meself when I was in the women's hospital in Paris, but enough's enough, and there again I blame religion, though I'm Catholic of course, but she was brought up a Protestant and you know what that means, behaving respectable and no smut, on this question of religion I think they should have just one, when it comes down to it all religions want the same thing, and when you think of it the sensiblest thing would be to have the religion of the Jews because it's got only the one God, no more to be said, no old fuss and arguing about this and that, the only thing is they are Jews after all, you mustn't go thinking from what I been saying that I played fast and loose with my hubby 'cos no one could ever say that, I never even thought of looking round for anybody else, model wife is what I was, but he was worth it that's why, well that's the polishing done with,
paaarlez-moi d'amooour,
whisper those old sweet nothings again.'

CHAPTER 54

Perched on a ladder with a lantern in one hand, the tiny creature examined herself in the mirror on the wall, made faces at her reflection, then rouged her lips, powdered her square face, smoothed her large soot-black eyebrows, licked her finger and with it wet her beauty spot, smiled at herself, finally climbed down, and ran towards the far end of the cellar, along walls oozing with damp and bristling with long nails. When she reached the prone man, she struck an elegant pose with one hand on hip and, smiling clever smiles, hummed a tune. He shuddered, sat up, leaned against the wall, and passed one hand over his blood-soaked forehead.

'May God guard you in the coming week,' she sang softly in a contralto voice. 'And tell me, kind sir, what is your name and how good the family from which you came?'

As he stared at her without answering, fascinated by her head, which was supported by no visible neck, she shrugged her shoulders and turned away. Sweeping her short train behind her with a flourish, she began walking to and fro impulsively, perched on her high-heeled dancing-shoes, making the flounces of her yellow satin dress flare, and cooling herself furiously with a fan made of feathers.

'Not that I care, you know, I have absolutely no wish to get married,' she said. She had come close to him again and was still fanning herself in a jangle of charms and armlets. 'But, really, the ingratitude! Apart from the fact that I got dressed up like this for your benefit, it was I who saw you through the ventilator looking dead, you could have been shamming or perhaps you weren't, and it was I who ran and told my uncles, and they went out when the blond beasts had gone, rushed out at once to bring you in here, and bring you they did! And so here you are, quite safe! This is my father's house. He was a wealthy antiques dealer and I am his only heir, but I shall marry a famous doctor so that I can wave my fan in the best drawing-rooms! I shall bewitch him by singing songs which tell how he will find sweet bliss in my cradling arms! Of course my sister is beautiful too, but I'm not afraid of competition because she's blind and anyway her brain isn't quite what it should be! And in any case the doctor will get a double dowry, because my back's not straight! You shall see my sister presently! She is still asleep in a cellar which she has all to herself! She is very beautiful, and I'm proud of her even though I'm quite tiny! But no one must look upon her! She is sacred! Ambivalent! My feelings are ambivalent! I know a lot of words! Ask me any difficult word and I'll tell you what it means! I know explanations for everything! With just one glance I can tell you what a person is like! It's fear, do you see? And my sister is even more beautiful than you are! And if you don't like it then lump it, kind sir! Now that's cleared up, I, thanks to my double-dowered doctor, shall be received in the very best drawing-rooms, I shall be respected and important, and I shall fan myself quite furiously! Oh yes, I know that all men are born free and equal before the law, but that doesn't last long! So there! Give it a year or two and you'll see! They won't be satisfied with beating us or making us lick their dirty floors clean with our tongues or stringing us up with our hands behind our backs -hang on, I'm going to shout the next bit - with pulling our fingernails out or putting hot irons on our flesh or holding our heads under water! Give it one year, three years, and they'll be doing much worse! Their iniquity will reach up into heaven itself, said my uncle-in-religion, also known as my uncle-in-majesty. They will commit acts of great horror!' she yelped, and she fanned herself, then whirled round and yelped once more: They have the backing of the entire population! My uncle told me! Read the papers, find out for yourself! And when the sabbath day comes round do you know what my uncle-in-religion and my uncle-in-business do, even though our suffering is great? Well listen! They look at each other and try to laugh a little, for the sabbath is the Lord's day, the day of peace, and we must be happy!

That's what my uncles are like! So respect them! They even taught me a prayer! I shall recite it to you very quickly, so listen carefully! I shall begin now. "But we are Thy people, we are the children of Thy beloved Abraham with whom Thou didst make a covenant upon Mount Moriah; the descendants of Isaac who was offered up as a sacrifice; the posterity of Jacob, Thy first-born son whom, in Thy love and for the joy he gave Thee, Thou hast called Israel! Praise to Thee, O Lord who hath chosen us above all peoples to be the receptacle of Thy holy Law! And so, in the mischief of morning and the despair of eventide, we proclaim how joyful we are, how fortunate our lot and how pleasant our fate!" (Breathless with having recited so quickly, she paused to rest, put one hand on her heart, and smiled a kindly smile at him.) Isn't it a beautiful prayer! Sometimes when I say it my nose turns quite red because I'm so proud I want to cry! I'm going to try laughing too on the sabbath! I shall tickle myself under my arms to make myself laugh in our cellar, our beautiful cellar! It's dark and full of nails! There are nails everywhere! Big nails for big tribulations and small nails for small tribulations! They were put there by my uncle-in-business! Fingernails torn out, one nail! An ear sliced off, another nail! It's a way of passing the time, a consolation! There are lots of nails, maybe a hundred! We shall count them together! You've got to take your fun wherever you can, you've got to forget! I'd love a cracknel biscuit! I'd crunch it and run at you lunging and sliding and laughing to make you afraid! Give it one year, three years! The Germans are a terri, terri, terrifying people!' she screamed suddenly at the top of her voice. 'But only we know how terrifying! Beasts, beasts, beasts is what they are! They like killing! Oh yes, they may dress like men but they are beasts all the same! You shall see what they'll do to us, you shall, you shall!' she shouted, pointing a finger at him threateningly. 'So start quaking now! They do it because they hate our Law! They are beasts. They love forests and ambushes in forests, like real beasts which hide behind trees and jump out and go for your throat! Aaaargh! They aren't afraid in the forest, oh no, they sing in the forest! Two thousand years ago we had our prophets! Two thousand years ago they were wearing helmets decorated with the horns of beasts! My uncle-in-majesty told me so! I have a crooked back but I am a daughter of man! There, I think I've explained it all
to you now! Oh say fine things to me, speak comfortable words! You can't think of any? Never mind, let's have a laugh instead, let's enjoy life! Sing "May God guard you in the coming week." Show that you were brought up properly. Repeat the words back to me, for today is the holy day! "May God guard you in the coming week." Say it now!' she cried, and she twirled her imitation-pearl reticule.

'May God guard you in the coming week,' he muttered.

'Very good, and because you said it nicely you find favour in my eyes, which are large and delightful, as you cannot deny! And when a person has a pair of delightful eyes and knows how to make up her face, that person always finds that the shoe fits and what does it matter if he or she is slightly humpbacked and has no neck? Having a humpback makes you see things more clearly! The shoe fits, what a splendid turn of phrase! I was brought up like a lady, you know!'I had a French governess when I was a very little girl thanks to all my father's money! Elegantly raised in a rich world of silk and brocade! No expense spared to turn me into an accomplished young lady who would grow up to be a model wife completely at home in the language of Racine! And omniscient too! For example, did you know that cats use their sharp spiky whiskers to scratch with? You didn't! It's no good lying! You said a few things in French when you were unconscious from having been knocked on the head and so I'm talking in your language! That way I can show how clever I am! Piano, violin, of course, and I also play the guitar while fluttering my eyelashes and took elocution lessons and can dangle baited glances! I know ever so many words!' she sang as she whirled around, making her dress balloon out and revealing her crooked but muscular little legs. 'I have only one little fault, which is rather attractive actually, and that is I sometimes rush around screaming with fear and if there's a nice person handy I swarm all over and kiss whoever it is, but in a half-perverse half-winning sort of way! Oh, I'm also fond of gristle, so soft and yet so chewy! Grisde is perverse too! Otherwise, elegance is the word for me! Oh if you could see me of a morning dressed in a pink wrap edged with monkey fur and slippers the same colour trimmed with swansdown! If only you saw me in a feather boa, or in my summer outfit with boater pulled right down over my eyes, stiff detachable collar, and assorted little charms and trinkets! The earring
is still in the ear that was cut off! And the best would be if you could hear me sing of passionate love and sweet promises!'

She adjusted the sky-blue bow in her hair, ran a wet finger over her eyebrows, stood on a stool, put one hand on her hip, and, craning her large head forward, sang with the passion and smiling lips of a soprano: 'Why do you doubt your happiness - For I love you? - Why do you speak with bitterness - For I love you?'

'There, that was just to give you an idea,' she smiled, stepping down off the stool. 'What do you think? (In the silence, she noisily crunched a sugared almond which she had produced from her reticule.) You won't say? Much good may it do you! I pick my large, fine teeth with a sharpened matchstick, and the perfume I use is called Reve de Paris! I don't care what you say, perfume is the charm of woman! My heart won thine on that mad day,' she sang, lowering her eyes majestically. 'By the way, when my uncle-in-majesty, ignoring the dangers, went out the other day on religious business, for you have no idea how great our God is, it's quite simple really, His like does not exist, well I peeped out through the gap and I saw the beasts pulling his beard out! They were laughing, and in their laughter were stupidity and power, but my uncle-in-religion stood his ground like a king and stared right back at them, and in his eyes were grandeur and silence! Oh I was proud of him! They also like pulling out our fingernails. They are Germans! Listen, from now on you're going to be my plaything! I adore talking in languages I know, and I get bored being locked up in the dark when my uncles go off through the underground passage to the other cellars to see about food and diamonds, diamonds are vital, and to study the Law! Vital, absolutely vital! They can be hidden! You can take them with you wherever you go! I've two uncles, one uncle-in-religion and one uncle-in-business! I love talking, and my tongue is garnished with intelligence! It speaks all the French words a person could want!' she said as she whirled round with a great flourish of her yellow dress. 'Which means that I am quite perverse and can see at a glance what the other person is thinking, I'm terribly well educated and speak various languages, each with the best accent, so that I can cross frontiers without any trouble at all! But what kind of fool are you, going out into the street dressed like a Jew in a long robe and wearing phylacteries! It was a good thing the beasts got you and cut those notches in that manly chest of yours! Let it be a lesson to you! (Here she fanned herself furiously.) Didn't you know that the sons of God's chosen people must stay hidden behind closed doors because of the beasts outside? In Berlin as it is today, everything is topsy-turvy! People in cages and the beasts free to roam! I can speak all the French words anyone could possibly want! I know all the rules of grammar, and my participles all agree! And hadn't you heard that when they go marching past they sing songs about how happy they are when Jewish blood spurts beneath their knives?
Wenn Judenblut unter'm Messer spritzt!
Spurt! Spurt! You see, I really do know a lot of French words! There's something missing between my head and my shoulders, I realize that, but they, with their blue eyes and their oompah bands, love blood and will kill us all, you'll see! My uncle-in-majesty told me! They dress like men, but they love killing, it's what they like best, and they're happy when there's blood, but we are human beings aren't we? Praise Moses our master! Come on, praise him! Or else I'll bite! It's all right, don't make me laugh, you'll be the death of me! I only said it to scare you! Oh yes, they'll kill the very last one of us! But in the meantime we aren't dead yet, we are warm and snug, and I adore being alive and chatting! This house belonged to my father, and in this genuine Renaissance chest there is an ear which the beasts cut off for fun while they shouted
Heil
and the name of that German who barks like a dog! It's the authentic ear of my dear mother! I keep it ceremoniously in brandy, next to my trousseau, which is complete, three hundred and sixty items, finest linen every one! Sometimes I pick up the jar and kiss it so that people can admire me! (She made loud kissing noises.) Sometimes I shake the jar so that the ear comes alive! I'll show it to you later, when I trust you! Oh yes, there is a high price to pay to be the chosen of God! Diamonds are vital, absolutely vital, for with them we can buy the secret collaboration of some of the beasts, and then we can go on living a little longer! Come on, you say something! When all is said and done, they didn't kill you! (She rummaged through a yellow pouch hanging at her waist and thrust a small looking-glass at him.) Take a look! You see, it's only blood! And not much of it either! But I digress! (She drew closer and said confidentially:) Once, it was midnight, I went to the lavatory and my
neck slipped down inside my body! You should never go to the lavatory at midnight, because that's the time when nasty people push your neck down inside you! It doesn't matter, though, having brains makes up for anything! I'm terribly happy! I've got someone to be with and I can talk as much as I like! It's not the sabbath today, you know, but there you are, in our situation, which is hardly a novelty for our people, you have to tell lies! (Again she came close to him.) I was born small! My mother did it on purpose to get her own back!'