Her Only Hero (14 page)

“Yes, we do. Honest. Especially when we have to do something
we’ve never done before.”

“Is that what scares you?” Laura asked. “Going into the hospital
when you haven’t ever done that before?”

Mandy nodded. I don’t want to.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were scared about it.” It probably
took a lot of effort for Laura to keep her voice that even. “But it’s going to
be okay, honest. When you go to the hospital, Mommy will go, too.”

And Ryan?

The least he could do was keep a smile on his face, even if his
heart seemed to be doing something strange.

“I’ll come to the hospital to see you. I promise. I’ll even
bring you a special firefighter teddy bear to keep you company.”

Mandy looked solemnly from him to Laura. She touched her ears
and signed something he didn’t quite catch.

Laura’s eyes shone with tears. “I’ll love you if you hear or if
you don’t hear. I loved you before you were born, and I’ll never stop loving
you.”

Maybe that was what Mandy needed. She threw her arms around
Laura’s neck. Laura folded her into a tight embrace, the tears spilling onto
her cheeks.

He should leave them alone. But before he could take a step
back, Mandy held her arms out to him.

He bent to receive her hug, feeling his throat tight with unshed
tears. It was way too late to back out now.

Laura managed to wipe the remnants of tears away before she
rejoined Ryan in the living room. He hadn’t left, and the relief she felt at
that fact startled her. Did she really want to unload on him again? The poor
man had probably had enough emotion for one night.

She pinned a smile on her face. The very least she owed him was
her thanks. He’d done a difficult thing, telling her, knowing it would hurt
her. So she’d thank him, and she’d let him go.

Ryan stood at the bookshelf, looking at the photos of Mandy that
adorned its top. He turned at her step, a lock of dark hair falling onto his
forehead at the movement. He brushed it back impatiently.

“Is she all right?”

“I think so. Thanks to you.” She tried to keep her smile steady.
“I’m grateful, Ryan. To you and to Nolie. I know I didn’t make it easy for you
to tell me.”

“It wasn’t easy to hear, I guess.” His gaze probed her face, as
if he wondered how real her smile was.

“It certainly was the last result I expected from having Mandy
stay at Nolie’s today.”

She moved closer, so she could see which photo he held. It was a
recent one, taken the day Mandy had ridden the donkey at the farm. She and
Ryan’s niece laughed at the camera, clutching the donkey’s neck.

“You shouldn’t think—” He stopped, as if not sure he should go
on. “Well, sometimes it’s easier for kids to confide in someone they don’t know
too well.”

“Instead of a parent.” She finished the thought for him. “I’d
have said there was nothing Mandy wouldn’t tell me. I guess I was wrong.”

He put the photo down. “Laura, you’re a good mother. Don’t
criticize yourself for something you couldn’t have foreseen.”

“I should have seen it. I should have been paying more
attention.” She felt the prickle of tears in her eyes and tried to blink them
away. She would not break down in front of him. “I was so obsessed with my own
plans for Mandy that I didn’t take the time to find out how she was feeling.”

“You were doing your best.” He turned, taking her shoulders in a
firm, comforting grasp. “Nobody can do more than that.”

“I should have.”

His hands tightened. “You’re only one person, and you’ve been
trying to do the work of six or seven.”

He was giving her an out, but she couldn’t take it.

“Mandy has to come first. She doesn’t have anyone but me. I have
to be responsible.”

“You are.” He pulled her gently against him, as if a hug might
convince her when words didn’t. “Stop beating yourself up over it, Laura.
You’re a good mother. Once you knew what the problem was, you took care of it.
Everything’s going to be all right.”

She’d like to believe that. Oh, how she’d like to believe it.
With Ryan’s strong arms around her, she almost could.

She leaned against his chest, feeling the steady beating of his
heart against her cheek. This was what was missing in her life—this sense that
someone was in on the task with her, standing by her side, being strong when
she was weak.

Ryan pressed a kiss against her temple. “Better?”

“Better.” She stepped back, out of the comfort of his arms. “I’m
fine. Thank you, Ryan.”

“Any time.” But his easy smile was strained, an imitation of the
real thing. “You have the right to make a mistake once in a while, Laura. Or to
need someone to lean on for a moment.”

For a moment.

The phrase he’d used echoed in her mind. Was he trying to tell
her something? That the moment was over?

She straightened her shoulders. “Single moms have to be
independent. We don’t have a choice.”

It was a fine thing, being independent. Unfortunately it could
also be a lonely thing.

“You’re a responsible kind of person. Everyone knows I’m not,
but I certainly recognize the quality when I see it.”

Something sounded under the light words. It took a moment to
register that he’d voiced a similar idea before, the day he’d talked about his
father’s heart attack.

“What makes you say you’re not a responsible person? You
certainly seem pretty responsible to me.”

He shrugged, turning away as if the subject made him
uncomfortable. “I’ve always been reckless. Born that way, maybe. Or maybe I
just picked it up, trying to keep up with my big brothers.”

“You’re not a little kid any longer. You don’t have to prove
anything to them.”

“Maybe not, but old habits die hard.” His smile flickered.
“Anyway, Mandy’s lucky she has someone like you, instead of someone like me.”

It took a moment, but she got it. Ryan was warning her off.
They’d gotten too close, and he wanted her to realize he wasn’t the kind of guy
for happily ever after.

Even as she returned his smile, she realized the warning had
come too late. Much too late.

She’d fallen in love with Ryan, and there wasn’t a thing she
could do about it.

H
e shouldn’t
be going to see Laura again. Ryan had left headquarters intending to get lunch,
hopped in the car, and found himself driving down her street.

After the way he’d left things with her the night before, he
ought to head in the opposite direction. He could stop by the station house to
see whether there was a pot of chili on the stove. It would certainly cause him
less heartburn than reflecting on his mistakes with Laura.

Laura had opened up to him. She’d let him into her life, into
her daughter’s life, in a way he’d never expected. And he’d responded by warning
her off.

Seth had been right all along. He shouldn’t get involved with
Laura and Mandy unless he was in it for the long haul. The very thought
terrified him. How did anyone do that—commit to another person emotionally for
life? It was like jumping off the roof of a burning building.

No, it was worse. He wouldn’t be afraid of jumping off a roof.
He was terrified by the thought of taking responsibility for the happiness of
two other people.

He shouldn’t be driving down her street, pulling to a stop at
the curb, but he had to be sure they were all right. After the pain he’d caused
Laura the night before, he had to check on them.

And when he’d done that, he’d start backing his way slowly but
surely out of their lives.

Mandy sat in a patch of sunshine on the sidewalk, drawing a
picture with chalk, while Laura sat on the step, painting the wrought-iron
railing of the stoop a shining black. They both looked up and smiled at his
approach, and his heart clutched. Walking away wasn’t going to be easy.

“Hi, Mandy.” He squatted next to her, ruffling her dark curls.
“That’s a really pretty picture.”

She’d drawn a house—a square with a peaked roof, a chimney, and
smoke coming out. He remembered doing the same picture at that age. But where
his had had the lengthy line-up of stick figures representing his parents and
his siblings, hers had only a yellow puppy.

She nodded, carefully adding a bird to the sky.

He stood, dusting off his uniform pants, and met Laura’s eyes.
“How is it going?” He nodded toward Mandy. “Any more worries last night?”

“Not at all. She slept fine and woke up happier than I’ve seen
her in a while.”

“That’s good.” He couldn’t help taking the few steps to her.
“I’m glad.”

“I owe it to you.” She tilted her head back, shading her eyes
from the sunlight with a paint-daubed hand. “I can’t believe I didn’t realize
something was bothering her.”

“You’re not going to start blaming yourself again, are you?”

She smiled ruefully. “I won’t. I promise. But thank you, Ryan.”

The words were simple, but the way she was looking at him wasn’t.
It would take a better man than he was to walk away from a look like that.

Okay, time to regroup. Talk about something—any-thing—that
wasn’t emotional.

“The railing looks great. You’re really down to the finishing
touches on the house, aren’t you?”

She nodded, probably realizing what he was trying to do.
“Everything’s shaping up the way I want it. The only frustrating thing is that
the contractor still hasn’t come to take out that wall on the third floor. I
must have called him twenty times. You’d think he’d come just so he’d stop
hearing from me.”

“Sure you don’t want me to bring a couple of guys over from the
station house to knock it down for you? Firefighters are pretty good at tearing
down walls.”

Her lips twitched. “Thanks, but I find the thought of fire axes
going after my wall a little scary.”

“Suit yourself, but we do nice work. All our clients say so.”

She probably didn’t want to feel obligated to anyone else, and
he’d try to respect that. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to drop in on the contractor.
He knew the guy slightly—maybe he could light a fire under him.

That wasn’t really taking on responsibility. And anyway, Laura
need never know he’d interfered.

She frowned at the railing and touched up a spot with the glossy
black. “At least the front of the house is looking good. I’m going to stop by
the farmers’ market later and pick up some red geraniums to put in the window
boxes.”

She’d obviously given a fresh coat of paint to the boxes on the
tall narrow windows that flanked the front door. They gleamed with the same
shining black as the railing.

“I have to hand it to you, Laura. I’d never have believed, a
month ago, that this place could look so good.”

“It had better be looking good. I’ve heard from the woman who
has an option to buy. She’s coming on Friday to look at it.”

She was smiling, so she obviously considered that good news.

“That’s great.” He tried to respond in kind. “You think you’re
going to be ready?”

She nodded. “With a little help from the contractor, I will be.
I’ve told her about the damage to the back porch, so she won’t be shocked by
that. I’m hoping she’ll visualize her business here so clearly that she’ll
overlook any little flaws and we can go to contract.”

That meant she and Mandy would move out. With the house completed,
she wouldn’t need any more help. And he wouldn’t have any reason to stop by.

That was as it should be. The fact that it left him feeling flat
had no bearing on what he should do.

“She’ll love it.” His voice sounded falsely hearty, but maybe
she didn’t notice. At a movement from the house next door, he glanced over
Laura’s head. “Well, well. Look who’s coming.”

Actually, Brad Potter might not be coming to see Laura. There
was a slight hesitation in his step when he saw them.

Then the moment was gone, and he came toward them smoothly.
Everything about the man was smooth, from the expensive cut of his shirt to the
smile he aimed at Laura.

“Laura, how nice to see you.” He reached out, as if to shake
hands, and then took a quick step back from the wet paint.

Didn’t want to get his hands dirty. Well, that was okay, as long
as he hadn’t come to cause Laura any more grief.

“How you doing, Brad? You don’t have any more lists hidden in
your pocket, do you?” That came out a little more sarcastically than he’d
intended.

Laura sent him a sharp warning look.

“No, nothing like that.” Brad’s smile was hearty. He was Mr.
Congeniality today, it seemed. “Laura has certainly been one of the more
cooperative homeowners we’ve ever had the pleasure of working with on a
project.”

“If all goes well, I won’t be the homeowner much longer. You’ll
have someone else to deal with.” Laura sounded as if she couldn’t keep her good
news to herself.

Well, who was he to feel annoyed that she wanted to share the
turn of events with Brad? She probably thought he’d be interested.

Which he seemed to be. He leaned toward Laura, heedless of the
fresh paint. “You have a buyer already?”

“I have someone who has an option to buy.” Caution sounded in
her reply. “She’ll be arriving on Friday, so I’m hoping to have a deal in place
soon.”

“Is this someone who plans to live in the house?” Brad’s
question came out sharply. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking, with
his eyes shielded by those designer sunglasses.

Laura nodded. “She intends to have a vintage clothing shop on
the first floor. It should make a lovely addition to the shops in the block.”

“Well, that is good news.” Brad took a step back, apparently
mindful again of that wet paint. “I’m happy to hear it’s working out so well
for you after all the obstacles you’ve had to overcome.”

“Thank you.” Laura was graciousness itself, given the fact that Potter
and his committee had provided many of the obstacles.

He supposed he shouldn’t mention that. Maybe his face showed
some of what he was thinking, though, because Potter gave him an uneasy glance
and then lifted his hand.

“Congratulations on a job well done. I hope I’ll see you again
soon.” He turned and strode off down the street.

Laura sat back on her heels and put her paint brush on the lid
of the can. She looked up at Ryan with a challenge in her dark eyes.

“Did you have to be so rude to him? I thought you and Bradley
Potter were old pals.”

“Are you kidding? He wouldn’t hang around with the likes of the
Flanagans.”

He caught himself up. If Brad was disposed to be friendly toward
Laura, he shouldn’t interfere. Especially when he’d decided it was time he
backed out of her life.

“Brad’s okay,” he conceded. “Pretty successful, really. Rumor
has it his old man ran through the family money, but Brad’s put together a nice
real estate business since he took over.”

She nodded, but he could tell she was only giving Brad Potter a
fraction of her attention. “At least he’s not hassling me about the renovation
anymore.”

He glanced at his watch. His lunch hour was about up, and his
stomach reminded him that he hadn’t eaten anything.

“Well, maybe I’d better hit the road. Good luck with the buyer.”
In other words, he didn’t expect to see her before then.

“Wait a second.” She stood, wiping her hands on her jeans.
“There’s something I’d like to ask you.”

“Sure. What?”

“I’m inviting a few people over for dinner tonight. Just a very
casual meal, as a thank-you to people who’ve helped me. I know this is
last-minute, but I hope you’ll come.”

He should invent some previous engagement. Back away, remember?

Before he could find an appropriate answer, a shrill noise
startled him. Then he realized she’d put her cordless phone on the front step.

“Just a second, okay?” She picked up.

Not wanting to stand next to her while she talked, he moved over
to look at Mandy’s chalk drawing. She smiled up at him, clearly inviting him to
admire her work.

She’d added to the picture. A little girl with dark curls now
stood next to the dog, holding hands with a woman whose hair was equally dark.
Mandy and her mother, obviously.

But that wasn’t all. On the child’s other side, she held hands
with what was meant to be a male figure.

He’d tell himself that she was remembering her father, but he
couldn’t. Because the male figure wore what was obviously intended to be a
navy-blue uniform.

For a moment he couldn’t react at all. He glanced at Laura.
Engrossed in the call, she hadn’t noticed what Mandy had been drawing.

He couldn’t tell a child that the image grabbed his heart. Or
that it made him want to run away.

“Great picture, Mandy.” He bent down and hugged her. “You’re
really good at drawing.”

That probably wasn’t what she wanted him to say, but it was the
best he could manage.

Laura had hung up the phone, but she stood looking at it with an
expression that startled him.

“Laura, what is it? Is something wrong?”

“No. Not wrong.” She glanced at Mandy, and he realized she was
being careful of what she said in front of the child. “That was the appointments
desk at the hospital. They’ve had a cancellation. We’re now on the schedule for
Thursday.”

He looked at Mandy, too, but she had turned back to her drawing,
clearly not understanding the importance of that call.

“That’s great, isn’t it? Will you be able to manage the down
payment by then?”

She looked so stunned that he stepped closer, taking her hand.
It felt cold in his.

“Yes.” She focused on him, joy dawning slowly in her eyes, as if
she couldn’t quite believe it was real. “It’s wonderful. Soon, but wonderful.
And Dr. Phillips convinced the hospital to let him go ahead, even though I
won’t have the down payment until at least next week.”

“I’m glad.” He squeezed her hand. “Looks like you’ve been
getting some really overdue good news.”

Her eyes shone with tears. “Silly, isn’t it, to cry over
something this good?”