Her Restless Heart (21 page)

She must have gone to make arrangements to start instruction in joining the church. And the fact that she'd come to tell him made him realize that she was thinking of a future with him, not another man.

He threw his hat to the ground and cursed his stupidity.

The minute she got home, she slammed the door, then winced. She should have walked home. Maybe then she'd have gotten rid of some of her pent-up energy. Tears still burned behind her eyelids, and emotions bubbled up inside her.

"Is that you, Mary Katherine?"

Her grandmother came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dish towel. "Oh, my goodness, what's the matter?"

Mary Katherine swiped at the tears on her face with her hands. She'd managed not to cry when she hitched a ride with a neighbor, but from the minute she'd climbed out of the buggy, the tears had run unchecked down her cheeks.

Leah dropped the towel and rushed to her side. "Are you hurt? What happened?"

"I went to see the bishop—"

"What did he say? I'll have a word with him!"

"No, no, he didn't hurt me," Mary Katherine said quickly. "It was Jacob!"

"Oh, you quarreled with Jacob." Leah put her arm around her and led her to the kitchen. "Come on, I'll fix you a cup of tea and we'll talk about it."

She shook her head. "You can't cure everything with a cup of tea."

Leah squeezed her shoulders. "No, of course not. It's the talking that goes with it."

She led Mary Katherine to a chair and pushed her gently into it before going to fill the teakettle and set it on the stove.

"Did you have supper?"

Mary Katherine rubbed her forehead and slumped in the chair. "No, first I went to see the bishop, and then I went to see Jacob."

Leah went still and walked over to sit in the chair next to her. "It just sank in. You said you went to see the bishop. What about?"

Chiding herself for not remembering what was most important here, Mary Katherine sat up straighter and reached for her grandmother's hands. "I made plans to take instruction today. I'm joining the church."

Leah closed her eyes, and when she opened them, they were brimming with tears. "Oh,
danki,
God! I hoped—oh, how I hoped and prayed," she broke off and dug in the pocket of her dress for a tissue.

Mary Katherine got to her feet and hugged her. "I never meant to worry you about my decision."

"You didn't. Well, not really." She smiled. "I love what my friend Phoebe says: 'It's arrogant to worry. God knows what He's doing.'"

Her grandmother might deny that she'd worried. But Mary Katherine could feel the trembling in her grandmother's body. It was relief.

When she withdrew her arms, her grandmother stood and bustled around the kitchen, taking out the leftovers from supper and warming them, setting a plate before Mary Katherine and pouring them both a cup of tea.

"Jenny's grandmother," Mary Katherine mused. She propped her elbow on the table and put her chin in her hand. "I guess that's where Jenny gets some of her wisdom. Things she said helped me make my decision."

"Hmm, so is Jenny the only one with a wise grandmother?"

For a moment Mary Katherine was afraid she'd hurt her grandmother's feelings, then she saw the twinkle in her eye.

"No, I, too, have a very wise grandmother."

Unsure if she could eat, Mary Katherine took a bite or two to satisfy her grandmother that she was eating, and then she held the cup of tea in her hands and found comfort in the warmth of the mug.

Her grandmother watched her with kind eyes. "Now tell me, dear one. What has Jacob done to upset you? Wasn't he happy that you'd gone to the bishop?"

Tears welled up again. She set the cup down. "He was upset with me. So upset. Someone had told him that they saw me holding hands with Daniel the other day."

A thought struck her. She remembered being uncomfortable with the way Daniel had taken her hand. She'd hoped no one she knew would see them. And then someone had walked up. Frowning, she tried to remember who it had been.

Hilda! she realized. Hilda had passed by them, recognized her, and stopped to chat for a minute. She remembered how the woman had looked pointedly at Daniel holding her hand.

"What?" her grandmother prompted.

"It was Hilda who saw me with Daniel. She just had to tell Jacob!" She rubbed her aching temples with her fingertips. "She's not a teenager. Why would she tattle like one?"

"Some people just enjoy gossip," Leah told her. "She could even have been misguided and thought she was warning him. There are people like that everywhere, I expect. I don't think she's a happy person. She can't be, really, can she? Happy people don't say things to people to hurt them."

"You talk like Jacob's the only one who got hurt."

Leah shook her head. "No, he's not. I know you're hurting, too."

"This is why I didn't want to get involved with someone." She pressed her hand to her chest. "It wasn't just because I didn't know what I was going to do about joining the church. It just hurts too much to love someone, to place your trust in someone and have them throw it back to you. It hurts too much!"

"So you love Jacob?"

The pain in her chest became sharper as she nodded. She wondered if it was possible to have a heart attack like her mother when she was only in her twenties.

"Give him a little time to cool off," Leah advised. "Sometimes even the best of men don't think before they speak."

The pain and pressure eased as Mary Katherine thought about what her grandmother said, and she found her righteous anger returning. "Oh, I'll give him some time," she muttered darkly. "Because maybe I need to cool off, too!"

She stood. "My head is pounding. I'm going to take something and go to bed early."

"Eating something might help."

Leaning down, she hugged her grandmother. "Sorry, I can't eat right now. I'll stick it in the refrigerator and have it later if I'm hungry."

Her head still hurt the next morning, and it provided a good excuse for her being quiet at work.

Customers came and went, exclaiming over the products. Mary Katherine was happy to see that they were buying after a bit of a slump earlier in the month.

Now that spring was coming, Anna hummed as she worked on the display window. Mary Katherine smiled at the darling little Easter bunny hats with big floppy ears crocheted in pastel yarns for babies and at the knitted sweaters with baby chicks and such. Draped on a rocking chair were nine-patch quilts with squares of flowered prints made by Naomi and the women who contracted their work to the shop. Amish dolls sewn by Leah were seated round a tiny table, enjoying tea from porcelain cups decorated with violets. Pots of daffodils, hyacinth, and tulips completed the display and gave the shop a cheerful look and fragrance.

Everything said rebirth, renewal.

But Mary Katherine had the same old feelings of rejection and lack of confidence she felt after one of her father's critical tirades. She sighed.

"You did it again."

She looked at Anna. "Did what?"

"You sighed."

"No, I didn't."

"Did too."

"Did not."

Naomi tossed down the quilt she'd been working on. "The two of you sound like children."

"Do not," said Anna.

Rolling her eyes, Naomi marched over to Leah, who was standing near the front window, looking out.

"They're behaving like children," she told her grandmother.

"Am not," Anna called over.

But Mary Katherine saw her trying to hide her smile.

"Why don't you go take a walk while it's slow?" Leah suggested.

"Are you sure?" Naomi chewed on a fingernail and glanced out the window.

"When did you start biting your fingernails?"

"Hmm?" Naomi looked back at her, then down at her hands. She hid them in the pockets of her skirt. "I don't know. I think I'll go for that walk. I won't be long."

Mary Katherine watched Leah gaze after Naomi with a frown.

"What is it?"

"She seems a little edgy, but whenever I ask her about it, she says she's happy." Leah paused. "Very happy." She looked at Mary Katherine. "And how are you feeling?"

"Is something wrong?" Anna asked, looking from one to the other.

"I'm fine."

"What's the secret?" Anna wanted to know. "What don't I know?"

Mary Katherine rolled her eyes. "How to stop being a pest."

Anna stood. "It's not right to keep a secret. We're supposed to all love each other and take care of each other."

"But you keep secrets," Mary Katherine pointed out. "You won't talk about what happened with—"

"Stop prying!" Anna retorted. With that, she flounced out of the room and shut the back room door with more than a little enthusiasm.

Leah threw up her hands.

"Look who I ran into," Naomi said as she walked into the shop a little while later.

Jamie strolled in wearing hot pink streaks in her hair, a mile-long scarf in rainbow colors wrapped around her neck, and a short plaid dress.

"Well,
guder mariye,
it's good to see you. How are classes going?" Leah asked her.

"Great. Thanks so much for working with my schedule this week."

She walked over to look at what Mary Katherine was weaving on her loom. "I like the pattern. What's it going to be?"

"Tote bags with leather handles from Sam. He has a leather shop."

"Neat. Say, we're still on for tonight, right?"

"Tonight." Mary Katherine searched her memory. "Oh, tonight." She bit her lip and blushed.

Jamie pretended to scowl. "Oh, tonight," she mimicked. Flopping into a nearby armchair, she pulled out the knitting she kept in a basket. "Well, good thing I don't get my feelings hurt easily."

Mary Katherine must have made some movement because Jamie glanced over at her and tilted her head. "You okay?"

She nodded. "Just had a bad headache most of today."

"Well, then, a nice, relaxing evening with the girls will cure that."

"Girls?"

"Naomi and Anna are coming, too. Won't that be fun?"

"
Schur."

"Wow, the enthusiasm." Jamie glanced up at Leah as she walked by with a bolt of fabric. "Leah, would you like to come over to my apartment tonight, have some pizza, and watch a movie?"

She smiled and shook her head. "No, thanks. I'm looking forward to a quiet night and a book."

"Peeeet-za," Jamie teased.

"Definitely not pizza before I go to bed," Leah said with a laugh. "You young people don't get heartburn from such things, but people my age do."

"Stop talking like you're old," Anna said. "I don't like to hear you talk like that."

"Well, I seldom do, so you're safe. But pizza and a late night—no, I grew out of that a long time ago." She turned to Anna. "Will you help me get together the deposit?"

"If I must," Anna said, sighing melodramatically. But as she passed them, she winked. Her moods—when she had them— were mercifully short, Mary Katherine couldn't help thinking.

Mary Katherine wanted to beg off. She was in no mood to be with anyone else. She just wanted to go home, hide under the covers, and feel sorry for herself.