Her Shameful Secret (10 page)

Antonio took a step closer. “If I could do it all over again I would do it differently,” he said softly. “I should have confronted you. I should have told you about the history between Gio and me. I regret allowing his accusations to ruin what we had.”

Isabella noticed he no longer called it Gio’s
confession
. She wondered if she was investing too much significance in Antonio’s word choice. She opened her eyes and turned to him. “Do you believe me? That I was faithful?”

She saw the struggle in his eyes before he answered. “I want to,” he answered slowly. “I’m trying to believe it.”

But he couldn’t. Disappointment welled up inside her. “Why can’t you? What is it about me that makes it so hard to believe?”

He shook his head and tossed his hands up in frustration. “I don’t know.”

Isabella pressed her lips together as she considered a few possibilities. “Is it because I wasn’t a virgin when I met you?”

“No!” Antonio looked surprised by the suggestion.

She squinted as she watched his face. “Or because we fell into bed the day we met?”

“No …”

She heard the moment’s hesitation. “Don’t you
dare
.” She pressed her finger against his chest. “Don’t tarnish that memory.”

“I’m not,” he insisted. “You are bold and passionate. Adventurous and trusting. I’d like to think you were only that way with me.”

“I have never fallen that hard or that fast for anyone,” Isabella said fiercely, and immediately dropped her hand. She took a step back and pursed her lips. She felt exposed and uncertain, but Antonio needed to hear this. He had to understand just how important he was to her. “And I never will again.”

His eyes darkened. “Because you regret it?”

“No,” she said, realizing he had gotten it all wrong. “Because the next time it won’t be you.”

Antonio stilled. He didn’t speak or move. He stared at her with quiet intensity.

“You know what?” she said, feeling foolish as a blush crept up her cheeks. “It doesn’t matter anymore. For one reason or another you can’t believe that I was faithful. Tonight I’m out of here and I will be just a memory.”

Her words jerked him out of his stupor. “About that …”

She didn’t like the sound of that. “About what?”

“Bella …” he said softly.

“No.” He wasn’t going to give her the ticket. She shook her head and sliced her hands in the air in case she wasn’t getting her point across. “No, no,
no
. You promised.”

He bent his head and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’m aware of that.”

She pressed her hands against her head as frustration billowed through her. “I need to get back to where I belong. To be in familiar and comfortable surroundings. I have some big changes ahead of me and I need to be ready.”

“I understand. I think it’s the nesting instinct. But that shouldn’t occur until around the fifth month of pregnancy.”

Isabella forgot what she’d been going to say next. She stared at Antonio as if he was speaking a different language. “What are you talking about?”

“It’s in this book I’m reading about pregnancy and labor.”

“You’re reading a book about
pregnancy
?” His admission astounded her. She hadn’t expected him to have an interest. When they had visited the obstetrician it had looked as if Antonio had wanted to be anywhere but in that examination room. “If you understand why I need to leave, then why are you asking me to stay?”

Antonio swallowed, opened his mouth and stopped. He clenched his jaw and looked away.

Isabella watched with growing concern. She had never seen him hesitant.

“Antonio?” Isabella prompted. “What is it?”

“Gio left a mess.” The words came out in a rush. “It’s a nightmare.”

“Okay.” What did that have to do with her? Did it have something to do with the will? Wouldn’t the lawyers inform her if so?

He squeezed his eyes shut and raked his hand through his hair. “Never mind. Forget I said anything.”

She watched Antonio walk away abruptly, his shoulders stooped as if he was carrying the weight of the world. He was a dark, solitary figure among the bright colors of the garden.

He wasn’t
really
alone, she told herself.

But who was there for him?

He was grieving for his brother, but he couldn’t show
it while he took care of everyone else. His mother was leaning on him and no one was offering support while he had to move into his brother’s role. He’d almost swallowed his pride and asked her to stay.

But why? Why
her
? Was it because there was no one else? He didn’t trust her. He still suspected the worst of her. She was not the ideal candidate to stay by his side.

Damn
. She wanted to stomp her foot. Why did he have to do this to her? Now? She was so close to leaving. She was almost home.

It wasn’t like he’d asked her to bed. He was simply asking for support, right? She could do that. She wanted to do that.

“Antonio, just ask,” she called out.

He stopped but didn’t turn around. “I understand if you can’t,” he replied stiffly. “We didn’t part on good terms.”

Maybe that was why her resolve was weakening. Isabella reached his side and placed her hand on his arm. She couldn’t recapture what they’d had, but she could change the ending of their relationship.

“What do you need?”

“You.”

Her heart lurched to a stop and then pounded violently. Was he asking for something more than emotional support? Why did she feel that kick of excitement? Almost a week ago she’d told him she wouldn’t sleep with a man who didn’t trust her. But he wasn’t asking to sleep in her bed. He was putting his trust in her hands as he asked for her help.

Isabella nervously swiped her tongue along her bottom lip. “Could you be more specific?”

“I need you at my side,” Antonio admitted. He looked
down at her, his eyes stormy and troubled. “Just for a few days while I deal with some competitors. They are circling Rossi Industries hoping to find a weakness. It would help if we looked like a united front. Once that’s accomplished then I’ll send you home.”

Antonio could handle his enemies without her at his side. Isabella suspected this was not really about business or about his mother’s request. He was reaching out in his own way. He was taking a risk, knowing she had every right to reject him.

“Do you still want me to stay at your apartment?” she asked calmly as her mind raced. Had Antonio figured out that
he
was her weakness? That, despite her better judgment, she couldn’t stay away?

He frowned as though he’d made it obvious. “Yes.”

“And I stay in the guestroom?” She didn’t know why she’d said that. She didn’t want to be there.

“Yes, of course.”

She saw that glint in his eye. He had no intention of having her stay in the guestroom. He wanted comfort and support in the most basic form. Antonio wanted a few hours to forget—a few nights where he could lose himself.

And she wanted it, too. She knew his trust in her was fragile, that his motivations had nothing to do with love. She was willing to risk it all if it meant having another night with the man she couldn’t stop loving. If he propositioned her, would she reject him? She didn’t know.

But she was tired of playing it safe. And she didn’t want this affair to have ended when he’d kicked her out of his bed. This time she would walk out when she was ready.

“Sure, Antonio,” she said calmly as her heart started to race. “I can stay for three more days. But that’s all I can promise.”

CHAPTER EIGHT

I
SABELLA
was relieved when she and Antonio left the Rossi estate a short time later. Once they’d told Antonio’s mother that she was extending her stay for a few more days Maria had sent them on their way with barely disguised haste. It was as if Maria had got the result she desired and wanted Isabella gone.

Antonio guided her to his black sports car with a large hand at the small of her back. Her skin tingled from the gentle touch. She knew he didn’t mean anything by the gesture, that it was something he did automatically, but she liked it. It made her feel like he was looking after her.

Once Antonio had helped her into his low-slung car, he slid into the driver’s seat and checked his watch. “There is a party that I have to attend.”

Disappointment filled her. She knew what that meant. When they’d been together Antonio had rarely accepted invitations to a party or event, but there had been times when it was required. He would dress up in a suit or tuxedo, looking so devastatingly handsome that it almost hurt to look at him, and then he would go alone and she would stay at home and wait for him.

In the past Isabella had told herself that she was glad
she hadn’t had to go to those parties. She wouldn’t know anyone, struggled with the language, and wouldn’t feel comfortable in extravagantly luxurious settings. But there had been times when she’d wondered
why
Antonio didn’t include her. Was she not good enough to be seen with a Rossi? Had he only wanted her for sex?

She wasn’t his lover anymore, but the old insecurities were still there, along with her desire to be with him. She hadn’t seen him for days and now he was going out for the night. Only this time she didn’t have a claim on him. She wasn’t sure she ever had.

But she wasn’t going to make the same mistake this time. She was in the city of Rome. There was beauty and excitement all around her. She wasn’t going to stay at home in hopes that Antonio would return earlier than planned. She had wasted too much time waiting for him and putting her life on hold. Isabella wanted to make the most of her time in this vibrant city.

“Okay,” she said, and she stared straight ahead at the Rome skyline, her gaze focused on the famous dome of St. Peter’s Basilica. “I might be home late tonight too.”

Antonio started the ignition and paused. “Where are you going?”

Isabella had no idea, but she was sure there were many choices. Maybe she would go to the Piazza di Spagna. She didn’t care so long as she wasn’t home alone. “I’ve always wanted to experience Rome at night,” she said. “I never really got the chance.”

“You were out every night with Gio,” he muttered darkly as he sped the car down the wide lane that was flanked by big trees.

“I’m not talking about nightclubs. When you’ve seen
one, you’ve seen them all,” she said. “I want to explore the city and see a different side of it.”

“Can’t you postpone that till tomorrow?” Antonio asked as they passed the intimidating iron gates that barred ordinary people from the Rossi world. “I promise I will make it worth the wait and show you Rome under the stars. Tonight I want you to come with me to the party.”

“You do? Why?” What had prompted the invitation? Was it because he knew she wasn’t going to stay at home and he wanted to keep an eye on her? “I’ve never gone to a social event with you before.”

She knew why. It simply wouldn’t have
done
for her to be at his side. He was sophisticated, powerful, part of prestigious family. She, on the other hand, had had no money, no connections, and hadn’t known the secret handshakes of high society. She had been a disadvantage. A liability.

“I wanted you all to myself,” he confessed. “I know it was selfish but I didn’t care.”

Isabella jerked her head and stared at Antonio.
That
was why he’d kept her from his world? “I thought it was because you were embarrassed by me.”

“Why would you think that? Hell, I would have shown you off, but that would have encouraged an invasion of our privacy. I didn’t want anyone intruding on us. But I went too far. It was only this week that I realized how isolated you must have been. That was not my intention.”

“I see,” she said softly. Why hadn’t he told her that earlier? But then, why didn’t she insisted that he take her along? Because she had been afraid of making demands.
She hadn’t felt secure in her relationship with Antonio and hadn’t wanted to start a battle.

“Would you
like
to go to this party with me?” Antonio asked as he shifted gears. “I think you’ll enjoy it.”

She didn’t know why he was making the effort now, when she was leaving in a couple of days. Was it an apology or did he really want her to accompany him? She admitted that she was curious about Antonio’s life. What was he like when he was around friends and acquaintances? Antonio didn’t need to grab the spotlight like his brother, but he wouldn’t stay in the shadows, either.

Isabella wanted to accept his invitation, but one thing was holding her back. “I don’t have anything to wear. And my hair …” She threaded her fingers along the ends of her hair, certain it was a tumbled mess. She didn’t usually style her hair, but she needed to go all out if she wanted to make a good impression.

“You don’t need to change,” Antonio assured her. “It’s a casual party.”

“We may have different definitions of
casual
.” She remembered Giovanni’s circle of friends.
Casual
had meant preparing all day at the spa and wearing outfits that cost the same as a car.

Antonio cast her an appreciative look that made her blush. “Trust me, Bella. You’ll fit right in.”

Isabella couldn’t believe what she was seeing. She couldn’t pull her gaze away from Antonio as he leapt into the air. His strong arms were reaching, stretching as he dove for the soccer ball. Isabella’s stomach clenched and her skin felt flushed at the sight of his vigor and masculinity. Just when Isabella thought he would grab
it, the ball zoomed past him and Antonio tumbled to the ground, rolled and shot to his feet.

A group of young boys cheered as the ball hit the net.

Unbelievable, Isabella thought. She’d never thought Antonio could be having fun at a child’s birthday party. He should look out of place among the colorful balloons, party hats and streamers. Instead the children gravitated toward him, eager for his attention. He gave it freely and didn’t refuse when several boys asked him to play.

“I have told Antonio a thousand times that he shouldn’t let Dino win,” said Dino’s mother, Fia, as she stood beside Isabella, bouncing baby Giulia on her hip. “But at least he makes my son work for it.”